Just A Rican and A Dream

[aidashakur]

[msmiaashleyyy]

Because how dare you and also be aware of a man who misunderstands your softness as being weak

[aidashakur]

[belmasworld]

[msmiaashleyyy]

It’s extremely hard and painful honestly

[msmiaashleyyy]

Still receiving teacher appreciation gifts and although the gifts are a nice and small gesture I am just thankful to be recognized and appreciated being with other people's children for the majority of the day my job is to teach, nurture, and learn as I feel like my time teaching is coming to an end I am extremely grateful and blessed to have made an impact on these babies' lives. I hope that they keep what they’ve learned and go out into the world and be great. I know I’ll never replace and mom or be a family member I have surly taken pride in being a confidant, and shoulder to cry on, a safe space and anything in between that they may have needed I thank the parents who trust me to provide knowledge and safety day in and out for their children and who went out their way to give such wonderful appreciation, Christmas and any other gifts. Although I am still in my role I am woman enough and have enough integrity to know when it’s time to start a new chapter through Christ, who strengthens me he will guide me through my toughest times and decisions.

[msmiaashleyyy]

Is it just me imagining things or did this man leave such an impactful impression on me that I can’t get him out my head, I have thought about this man everyday since I met him and it’s so strange because WHY! Is this a test am I crazy or am I just failing God yet again by even putting my brain through this? I’m not sure I honestly don’t have a clue have to move forward because this man right here felt like home, like he could be forever and I know I fuck up the moment I start to “potential” think but damn he has no kids, but good with them. He has a job that can be his career and wants to own his own business but treated me like a queen and comes from a good family! It sucks how often I run men away but this one hurt more then I thought hell he wasn’t a thought yet here I am he’s ghosted me

[msmiaashleyyy]

The more I try the more I realize I don’t know how to start a new and maybe I should just end my life because I’ll never be someone’s favorite person and all I have is my mom but it’s getting harder to fight

[paper-wounds]

[msmiaashleyyy]

I swear this took the words out my mouth I am soooo much bigger than my hometown and my 9-5 although I’m grateful to have an income where I can afford my bills I’m bored and tired and want to travel and see and live

[msmiaashleyyy]

God I ask that you open so many doors for me this year, I ask that this is my year to shine career wise and dreams wise. I ask that I flourish into someone so beautiful and smart and strong I ask the my financial situation bloom into something I’ve never seen before I ask that it becomes an abundance of blessings and that I create long standing financial stability and freedom I ask that 2026 be my year to not only make myself proud but my family in Jesus name I pray 🙏🏽

[msmiaashleyyy]

God will literally reel you in, like lately I feel so unappreciated. I am constantly reminded of how I need to pull back from others and focus on myself like to really gather who I am and who I want to be what makes me happy and what causes me triggers. I’m honestly not sad just taking notes, notes on how I’m overlooked and untreated I’m praying for new surroundings in 2025 and to truly dive into my God's honest purpose lately all I want to do is follow in the steps of my Lord and savior. I pray every day for my mom and my niece and my brother for without them I will die, so I pray God allows me to make them proud. Lately, I’m honestly in a battle or daydream about who will come to my funeral and how I impacted their lives if only once we passed in we were able to be flies on a wall. Who will show up, whose life will be impacted by my absence guess ill never know all I want is appreciation, love, and peacefulness.

[kittesencula]

[scorpionlafemme]

[msmiaashleyyy]

Especially in the generation I live in, men match female energy and no where is safe.

[stalgivc]

[msmiaashleyyy]

Seasons like this I just want to disappear, feelings of lonely loneliness and bad thoughts have taken over. I am so grateful to God for all that he had done but this feel comes from people and feeling so unappreciated I wish I was someone’s favorite person….. I fine myself yerning for a companion and always falling short…. It’s kind of crazy because people mask their feelings so well like I feel close or comfortable but on their end I’m not hitting on shit for lack of better words smh most times I think about my funeral and who would show up, what would people say or would their lives carry on as normal who would be effected….. Guess I’ll never know, I’ll never know that or the feeling of being a mommy or wife I know God makes no mistakes so I know however my life turns out it’s my story but I guess I can’t find understanding in how certain cards are dealt or if they fall that way off the mistakes or wrongs ways we’ve turned

[andjeeo-deactivated20260218]

i used to beg to be understood, now i beg to be left alone

[pyritetears-deactivated20260218]

Aaliyah. (2001)

[aidashakur]

A true lover girl is a leaver too. Because if it comes down to it, she loves herself more than she loves you.

[msmiaashleyyy]

Bingo! I can honestly say that I am so happy with the woman in becoming a very lover girl and refusing to tap into hard girl energy

[abihuluv2hate]

Colors Studios: Jill Scott, Teedra Moses, Ari Lennox, Brandy Norwood