[mspfa]

Thanks again for reviewing my adventure. It's always nice to get a fresh pair of eyes on an old relic of a project of mine to remind myself where to grow and how I've already grown. Keep doing the good work.

Hey, not a problem! I hope it was helpful.

[mspfa]

Are you, or would you ever be, looking for other people to help read and review adventures?

I'd be open to it, especially during the summer when (as you guys can clearly see) my schedule gets much busier.

[mspfa]

Do you have a qoute or description for this page? My phone app keeps giving you ones from other people I follow. It's pretty fun.

I don't know that I do, could you elaborate?

[mspfa]

Any incoming review? I miss the activity on the tumblr :)

The next one is a feature of Last Day, then there are a few reviews on the table. Unfortunately my job is a seasonal one and the season is kicking into gear this week so everything is going to see some reduction in activity for a little while.

[mspfa]

What would you put in the "chance of finishing" part of your review if the adventure itself was designed to never end?

I mean, all adventures are going to end one way or another, but that section is more about having a satisfying conclusion of some sort, which if the author never intends to give it one means the chances would be low.

[cradlediving]

You are a security drone. There are only two security drones in your facility. Your activation means that the first drone has either been damaged, suffered from power failure, or has been completely destroyed. As standard safety protocol dictates, in the event of your activation you must evacuate all human workers from the building. Under no circumstances are you to stray from your programming.

[cradlediving]

Search and Rescue is a surprisingly cheery adventure about a small faceless cube with arms who is chiefly concerned with knocking things off desks, tidying up and collecting felt tip pens. The protagonist (who actually doesn’t remain faceless for long, being remarkably good at doodling expressions onto himself with said pens) is as the opening post would imply nominally doing his best to find out where all the missing humans of the facility (and his similarly unnecessarily gendered robot brother) have vanished to, but actually mostly concerned with indulging the subforum’s collective desire to go into every room and collect every object there is to be collected, to keep in that small hole in our apparently hollow hero’s head.

All of the panels are made in 3D which is a rare and surprising touch for a Forum Adventure (excepting the one I linked just last week) and one I don’t think I’ve seen done as skillfully as it is here, the artist saying that they are treating this as much as an exercise for their rendering skills as a forum adventure, and while (as you may have picked up) the story so far is not particularly deep there are hints that there is something more sinister going on in the background (apparently this is a facility that manufactures bombs, corridors are guarded by automated rifle turrets and it seems that our protagonist might not even have been ready to be activated at all).

Updates have been fairly regular and the most recent one was only yesterday, so hopefully this one is going to avoid the usual propensity of adventures I feature to give up the ghost immediately after being linked.

If you like boxes, small baby robots, entirely empty office buildings, wilful endangerment of microwaves or mountain dew dude, you should probably read this adventure.

[mspfa]

The next review has been requested by author Gentrigger for the long-running story Songs we sing. Started back in the ancient times of 2010, Songs we sing has been cemented as a mainstay of the MSPFA community. A fantastical technomagic adventure set in the world of Eskeros, it follows the story of a young Orator named Sonnet who has lost her voice and her arms. Although charming and unique, it does suffer from author fatigue. Updates can often be spread months apart, which can be unnerving for readers. Still, it's an interesting tale and the hand behind it is obviously a skilled one, so read on for more.

STORY

The beginning of Songs is a much more humble affair than the adventure ends up becoming – we are given some backstory as to the nature of Sonnet's problem, a little history of the world and its many gods, and then immediately we delve into a series of sporadic and humorous interludes for several pages. The tone of the story at this point wavers a great deal – we go from a poetic, world building voice to a funny one that bends to the will of overeager readers with what in hindsight were very destructively memetic ideas – an emphasis on personifying rocks as lesbians rather than focusing on exploring. Things don't really improve with the second act – we are barraged with a suddenly foul-mouthed Sonnet, an influx of game mechanisms and digital world that hadn't even been hinted at previously, and it is with honesty that I admit at this point I really was thinking “why is this such a big deal?” It is to the credit of the author that after this shaky start, Gen really managed to pull together a coherent, colorful, and vibrant story built in a world that draws you in and asks you to stay for as long as you like. Sonnet's story is intriguing – we are given tantalizing flashes of her backstory, her life before she lost her voice, her arms, and much of her memory, but for the most part she remains a lens for the reader to view the world with. The really interesting, and for me the best parts of all were when she takes a minute to do what she, and the author, does best – take a minute to tell a smaller tale about Eskeros. From the first story of the red masks to the last of a man named Cirrus who searched for storms in the desert, each one is an absolute delight and I eagerly look forward to more. They really emphasize the care and love put into the world where gods rule capriciously and every rock has a story to tell, and I think that's what makes them shine so much. Story Grade:

CHARACTERS

Characters are nothing but unique in this world – generally not only does each one have a tone and accent all their own, but there is almost never one that lacks a distinct shape you won't find in any other adventure. From the loyal Jeffery, to the erotically obsessed goddess Yawn, once the story gets its bearings through Act 2 each one really stands out. This is very much a fantasy adventure, so characters, either by the nature of their race or the rules of tropes often jump to Sonnet's aide without a second thought, until she has gathered quite a brigade of fanciful friends. The villains of the story at present are still pretty much at arm's length – only one real antagonist has made himself known, and he was soundly blown up without a word spared – so it is hard to say at this time whether their voices will match the quality of the heroes, but for now I am content with what we have. Words have to be spared for the character design Gentrigger displays over the course of the adventure – from Sonnet's simple silhouette, to Jeffery's arched back and throughout many others like her beloved guardian Phone, each one proves themselves more distinguished than the next. A real delight is reading through the thread and inspecting the Orator designs the author posts intermittently for each of the commenters – they are all so beautiful and inspired that you almost wish they too could be part of the story. I really can't say enough good things about the character design for Songs. Even if the world wasn't as special as it ends up becoming, the story would be worth it just to see them. They are pretty much the definition of “whimsical”. Character Grade:

ART

Most adventures that span any decent length of time will display some real art evolution. It's inevitable that as one practices their craft, they will improve. For Songs we sing, this is especially evident. Four years of growth and learning really show what a transformation the author has gone through. In the beginning, the story had art that had some potential, but really suffered from some drawbacks. Poorly framed images that were either too close or too far to be well read, strange uses of purely isometric backgrounds, and characters sprites that only worked up close. As it goes on, things show definite improvement, and I suspect that it is not only the fact that the author got better, but I think it also was the result of some serious buckling down. I suspect at first the author didn't take the adventure nearly as seriously as later on, and the difference really shows. By the end of the thread, every panel was beautifully composed, with rich vibrant colors, excellent composition, and fully rendered backgrounds that are such a contrast to where it began with a castle so ugly in color even the author comments on it that it is truly impressive. Art Grade:

CONCLUSION

Songs we sing has always garnered rave reviews from its followers, and now that I've read I can understand why. It's a beautiful world populated by clever and creative beings that promises all kinds of future potential if its author can make it happen. There just two things really holding this back from being an “A”. The first is the beginning, which truly, honestly was a chore get through simply because it promised so much and then quickly took a left turn into places that in retrospect really weren't all that great, and the fact that updates have become more and more sparse as the years have gone on. I don't know that there is a solution for the first problem – but the second can still be improved upon! Overall Grade: (a high)

The Nitty Gritty

Adventure length – 70 Forum pages, with around 2-3 updates a piece Likelihood of finishing – Medium. The adventure can go long stretches without updates, but then again, you don't spend four years on a thing you don't intend to finish. Uses suggestions? - Yes Forum link - Here MSPFA mirror - Here – Severely out of date Lesbian clouds made out with - None so far

[mspfa]

How long does an adventure need to be before asking for a review? I've wanted to ask about REM but... like... it's barely just getting out the first chapter so I don't know if anything can really be said yet. I do relish the idea of an exacting critique.

For reviews there is no limit, features are the only thing where I try to make sure there's a good amount of time for it to run before I recommend it - but hey, if someone can pump out 500 pages in a month and make a good story I might feature it anyway.

[mspfa]

Hi! I just found this blog. This is pretty great :3 Do you review stuff off the MSPFA mirror site or just the forums? Juust wondering. Anyways thanks for reviewing/sharing these cool fanadventures ^^

We are not big sticklers on the source of adventures, it can be from wherever.

[mspfa]

Would you ever review adventures hosted on another forum such as eagletime?

Oh yes, I believe I've already had at least one suggestion from there, although the name escapes me at the moment.

[mspfa]

As an mspaf reviewer you are required to review trol seassons. Good luck ;_;7

As I've admitted before, the task is far too great for someone like me, but I do recognize how important it is to have something about it here and continue to welcome anyone who would be able to do a really in-depth look.

[mspfa]

After a brief amount of time spent trying to catch up on the reading list, I'm excited to announce our next featured adventure is All Night Laundry, by author Jack-Fractal. All Night Laundry is something of a dark horse adventure; at a little under a year old and Fractal's first story, it somehow has transformed into the gold standard for everything: character design, storytelling, consistent and frequent updates, beautiful art, a completely consistent but always new and surprising plot and reader involvement that rightly should be studied by anyone looking to make their own adventure. An intense and thoroughly exhilarating ride from start to finish, I can't recommend reading it enough.

STORY

Aspiring journalist Bina is a student in Quebec who needs to do her laundry before tomorrow because she made the mistake of leaving it till the last minute. Luckily for her, there is a 24 hour laundry place! Sure, the lights are off, there is a strange flickering in the back office, and nobody answers when she calls, but she's put the chore off long enough. This is the last time anything normal happens to poor Bina – from this point on everything begins to unravel, and there is no telling when it may stop. I haven't said too much about any concrete plot details because much of the delight of this adventure is discovering the answers for yourself. This is an example of an adventure that is almost wholly unique in its presentation. Without going into too much detail it whips from fearsome monsters to reality bending light, murder, time-eating insects, heroic preservation and crippling self doubt, all without skipping a beat or seeming surreal or out of place. In fact as the adventure goes on it becomes clear how very well thought out each element in the story really is – every single point of interest has a reason, every seemingly random happen stance a cause. It needs to be said this is not a story for the light hearted. Bina faces incredible challenges, and even as strong as she is, she is a real person who can break if given too strong a push. Her anguish and pains continue to be factors in her adventure, and there are no punches pulled. If you are not a fan of blood, or even descriptions of pain, this is definitely the one to avoid. In the beginning, for example, there is a nearly twenty page segment involving her arm being completely impaled twice and her effort to remove the offending object spares none of the details. It does not get easier from there.

Characters

This is very much a story about Bina, and she is everything you would expect from a college student in the big city, fun but with her foibles, occasionally lazy but able to work hard when it matters, kind hearted but snarky and overall very well rounded. Her entire history is shaped out and very pivotal to her story – from the way her grandmother's strength still keeps her motivated to her father's problems with work and more, it is all explored with adorably done flashbacks that allows the readers to talk to her at that age and learn more about her. The rest of the characters, from the fearful and strong Gregor to the joyful Josephine, and later the stalwart Kendra, aren't developed more than need be but still read truthfully, and even if their backgrounds aren't explained, you get the sense that they are there and these are real people who live and breathe in the city. The character design is also beautiful. Bina herself is as cute as button, while all the other characters (not that there are many of them) have silhouettes that are distinct and read without any effort. There's not really much more to say about this – Fractal obviously has a studious background in illustration and design, and it really shows when such a professional hand puts pen to paper. Just try not to look in its not-eyes

Art

The art of All Night Laundry is gorgeous – and even more impressive when you consider that this is an adventure updated at break-neck speed. According to the author in the beginning every panel is limited to three minutes per character and ten for the backgrounds – an unbelievable amount of time for such beautiful renderings. It's true that in the beginning construction lines for each character are more visible, but this really only adds to the charm of the story and as the art evolves you don't even notice the change As Fractal's first real adventure excursion there is some slight experimentation – a brief stint of time is spent experimenting with a full color, painterly style that is deemed too time consuming, but it's really hard to complain about an adventure going from an already beautiful illustration style to an even better one. There is also a more deliberate break in stylization when the adventure enters a flashback to Bina as she grows up – but this is a deliberate choice, and it turns out to be both adorable, and effective If the art I've already shown hasn't convinced you, the only other thing I can say about it is the fact that most if not all of it is basically from the first part – I found myself saving every other image at one point for this feature, and I realized I had only gone five forum pages in. It's really that good.

Conclusion

All Night Laundry was an adventure I had never really been aware of until someone suggested it here, and I'm extremely grateful they did. Now I can't recommend enough others share this experience – not only because it is a tightly told story penned by someone with skill to spare, but because with at least half the story left to go actually getting to participate in its future content is something one should revel in. It's not just a good adventure – it's a good story. It is intense though, and again I have to caution that if you are sensitive to descriptions of pain, the sight of blood, or anything of that nature this one might not be the best idea to peruse, but for the rest of you I hope you'll join me in eagerly waiting to discover just what Bina's next step in her journey will be..

The Nitty Gritty

Adventure length – About 300 pages by the author's count, although what the author considers a page is something like 3 times as long as what I normally do. Likelihood of finishing – Very high – the author has updated almost every day since the adventure's inception and shows no signs of stopping. Uses suggestions? - Yes Forum link - Here| Adventure beginning MSPFA mirror - None Maggots hatched in the corpse of the day – At least one

[mspfa]

Is Deeprise on your list?

The author actually requested I review it rather than feature it, so it's on my list but not in the way you think!

[mspfa]

I noticed you getting quite a lot of requests to review old dead or completed adventures but was wondering if you were if you were going to grade more active adventures then old, completed or otherwise ones? I just feel that the active adventures likely will need that review more then an old one.

I will feature any and all adventures I feel are high in quality - after all, new or old, a good adventure is a good adventure. Reviews are a different beast - I only do those for people who specifically ask for it, so it's really not up to me!

[mspfa]

Ah so a c would be "its pretty okay!" And a b would be "it's really good", while an a would be "EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW" ?

Basically that's correct. Grading systems are always kind of inherently flawed because comparing one story to another is really a subjective thing, but it's good for a quick takeaway and the conclusion will usually be the best thing to read if one wants to know more about how the story is and whether reading it is actually recommended.

[mspfa]

The second review of this blog has been requested by author Dregadude for his year long adventure, Double Helix, which is apparently the first in a trio of stories which fall under the umbrella name Reality. Double Helix is not the most visually impressive adventure, but its strengths lie in its own humor and ability to not take itself too seriously. Very much in the vein of Jailbreak or Bard Quest, this adventure use most if not all suggestions leading to a non-sequitur style where almost anything can happen – to the point where almost half of it has been spent on a character imagining his life as a pirate. This style of story is best read when looking for something not too taxing, and if one is hoping for a completely coherent story, they should look elsewhere.

STORY

The beginning of the story posits the main character as an ENTREPRENUER looking to make his way in the world with his juice stand. Things quickly devolve as it is discovered the nearby donut shop has run out of donuts and the quest begins to find more. This beginning is probably my favorite part of the whole story – quick to make jokes, with plenty of word play and humor. There are nods to some grander overarching plot, and as the story develops it's clear the author has some actual arc planned, but frankly I don't know that this is really the kind of story that benefits too much from that – it's strongest when it plays fast and loose and prioritizes humor over plot. The latter half of the story, while experiencing a mild art upgrade, is so far from the original tone that I frankly don't understand why it isn't just a different adventure. It starts taking itself seriously in a way that I don't really think makes sense for this style of story, which involves things like bugs made out of bread, floating upside down scooters, evil sea lions, and a robot uprising determined to destroy all the donuts. As I said before, this isn't a story being read for the plot – like an Adventure Time episode, it can be nice to give nods to continuity but the prime focus should always be on goofy and fun things happening with the story taking place in the background. There's really not much more to be said about the story: it will appeal to a particular demographic, the sort that enjoys more hyperactive storytelling, and while it did make me laugh, the tonal shifts really dragged it down for me. Story Grade:

CHARACTERS

There's not much to be said in the way of characterization in this story, although that's not necessarily a huge issue. Every character is just a glorified stick figure, again much in the tradition of Jailbreak, and a few basic colors and costumes are used to distinguish individuals from one another. There is also not a huge amount of personality, not that it's needed for this kind of story. The main character is your archetypical hero type. There is also a donut manager who, well, likes donuts, and a survivalist who spends his time in the wilds with the evil Krew. In the second half of the story things become a bit more diverse, with the main character suddenly taking on a pirate persona, a silent library guardian, and a mysterious evil idiot, but they're still basically pieces to be moved when needed to tell the story, which is fine. One special mention is needed for the ever present “Krew”, an antagonistic group of people born from a pun that could potentially be problematic – At first they are just evil black-colored stick figures, but then they start turning into evil black-skinned stick figures who speak in particularly urban slang, play “b-ball” all the time, and are used as literal pack mules to carry the main character's stuff. I don't think it's a huge issue, but even the author acknowledges it's kind of potentially offensive, and I felt like as it went on it became in poorer and poorer taste. Overall the characters of Double Helix do what is needed of them, no more, no less. Character Grade:

ART

The interesting thing about Double Helix is that it's one of the few adventures I've seen that's actually done in MSPaint. The art's certainly not incredibly by any stretch of the imagination, and the story originally started as a purely text adventure, with the images coming in as a late addition. Of course, with a story like this detailed panels and highly rendered characters aren't exactly necessary – I know I keep bringing up Jailbreak, but the comparison is pretty apt because that story was penned by a clearly skilled hand yet by itself very few people would call it visually impressive. It simply served its purpose, which is all adventures like this really need. As I said before, there is a small upgrade in the art midway through the story – colors begin being used regularly rather than once in a blue moon, scenery and perspective begin becoming more prevalent, and characters are more distinct – but it still tends to suffer from a consistent line width instead of varied strokes, and sometimes the saturation of the colors can make some pretty harsh contrast. The art is at its strongest when it's used almost ironically, as a visual gag, much like how the story is best when it does not take itself too seriously. Overall I can't give it too high of a grade, but I certainly don't think it's a detriment to the story. Art Grade:

CONCLUSION

Double Helix is a fairly short adventure, and if you want to be amused I can recommend reading at least the first half; when it begins to drag at the second you may find your attention waning, but as I said earlier the fun thing about it is that the author is very amenable to suggestion and if you've invested yourself in any way or would like to see your own input used it still has a lot of fun left to give. As a flawed but funny adventure, it has potential to go to some interesting places. Overall Grade: (a high)

The Nitty Gritty

Adventure length - A little over 150 pages Likelihood of finishing – Hard to gauge. The nature of the story means it could easily finish in two panels, or be stretched out for another hundred. The author has also indicated there are two other stories to be tied into this one, so it's a difficult call. Uses suggestions? - Yes Forum link - Here MSPFA mirror - Here Characters eaten by Krews - None so far

EDITOR'S NOTE

Some further clarification on the grading system: There has been some misunderstanding involved that ended with people coming to the conclusion that a C is akin to a low or failing grade. This is not correct – the grading system works like a bell curve, where the grand majority of adventures should fall in the C area, as a true “average”. Less adventures will fall into B, as better than average, and only a small number will fall into A, which means true excellence. Likewise with D's and F's – A D is simply an adventure that's just a little more underwhelming than some adventures, while a true F will be far and few between

[mspfa]

Is Homestesque alright to review? It uses Homestuck-y sprites but it feels more like a spiritual successor more then anything.

It's definitely right on the edge, they do new things for sure but it's still pretty clear what the roots are. I'll have to think about that one.