nico.
❝ it ranges from ‘nico, don’t eat that … it was on the ground.’ or, my personal favorite, ‘you can’t have a pet giraffe, dumbass.’ shit, did ya’ really have to guess ? you technically just ruined the damn surprise, blame yourself. of course i’m grouchy, what makes you think that i’m a morning person ? i will not engage in conversations until i had my coffee, or it’s past noon. no one knows my shit besides you, so hush. not gonna lie, but those are usually the nights that i can’t sleep ‘cause i always think a bolt is going to just fuck me up. that’s all i want in life, i hope that’s not askin’ for too much. that’s exactly what someone who is picking on me would say, silly. i don’t do anythin’ besides speak, you’re always the one havin’ a ball game with my words. don’t act like you don’t enjoy the seconds of company that i offer, that’s rude. i’m not messin’ around, these are actual things that float around with this sadistic brain of mine. that’s definitely a level that i thought was locked, but i’ll definitely keep that in mind for future purposes like … ya’ know, science. is that what i said ? excuse me while i go stitch my lips shut, i’m embarrassed. probably ‘cause it’s me & not someone that ya’ don’t spend every night saying ‘goodnight’ to ? just a thought.. it’s okay to be a little hesitant when you’re dealing with this, i really didn’t have that problem ‘cause something inside of me just knew. if you enjoy it, then you enjoy it. there’s not really much that happens after that, unless you’re ashamed & plan to hide it from the world … that’s cool too. i’m trying to make this a little more easier for you, you can’t possibly hate a guy for trying. well … you could, but you can’t ‘cause it’s me. this must be your lucky day, i haven’t told a lie in about two minutes. i think it has to do with the fact that we see each other on a daily opposed to some freak on the subway, honestly. or, you just really like my face. you don’t have to say anything, just be sure to spread some of that love over here. cool ? i couldn’t have said it better myself, man. i’d like to thank the academy for nominating me for this award, it means a lot. i guess it’s time for me to ‘fess up, huh ? i, nico, clearly care about you more than myself sometimes … it’s scary. my cookie is fine, just a lil toasty in the middle. dude, are we lookin’ at the same shit ? the abs are definitely there, let’s be real. there’s a zero chance in hell that i could be mean to you after all of these nice ass things you’re sayin’ about me, let’s keep this ‘lil love fest rolling for a while. it’s good to be assertive, pushovers are the ones that usually get fucked over. you’re not talking ‘cause you’re throwing hands, and breakin’ jaws ? a bit demanding here, sir, but it’s honestly too good of an offer for me to even attempt to downplay it. who can say no when i’m literally the only exclusive member to this fine establishment ? we shouldn’t let them go to waste, no, that’s … that’s crazy talk. good, i’m a firm believer of making up for lost time for many reasons. but we see eye to eye, so there’s really no need to explain when we could be doing … other things. what’s a big thing for you ? dude, what are ya’ even talkin’ about right now ? i’m always nice and kind to you, didn’t we literally just finish talking about all of that ? i’m convinced that you’re losing your fuckin’ marbles, man, seriously. yeah … just you and i, the way that’s been for a couple of months now. dude, are you going to smack me or are we robbin’ a bank here ‘cause you’re scaring the living fuck outta me right now. try something and make it snappy, my anxiety is starting to kick in with all this anticipation flyin’ around. chicken out —— … i’ve never been so los ——— … i, i… uh, —— … ❞
❝ tell me, though — how do you like your coffee ? this is important to me. personally, i drink hot coffee in the mornings, but otherwise, it’s gotta’ be cold. iced, blended, what have you … just not hot coffee. hot coffee, after 11am, is not the fuckin’ move. i’ve never lied about enjoying having you around, so like … can you, ‘ya know, chill for a sec ? this is so unnecessary. no, absolutely. science is so important. we gotta’ keep these things in mind, ‘ya know, to further human progress. okay, okay. fuckin’ fair enough, but here’s the catch —— you’re the only one i wanna’ be sayin’ goodnight to. is it okay to be hesitant about it, though ? ‘cause like, i don’t know what i feel. i don’t know what i’m doing. and if the media catches wind of it, it’s gonna’ be like … ‘ oh, matthew daddario’s experimenting with x, y, & z, ’ or ‘ does he really feel that way ? is it for attention ? is he lying ? ‘ and it’s just like … i don’t need that shit. i don’t need strangers on my case about something that i don’t even fully understand myself, should that be the case. i don’t know if i’d be ashamed necessarily … but there’d be a culture shock on my part, i guess. like, everything i knew is just like —— cancelled. gone. vanished. i’m not hating you for trying. i actually appreciate the hell out of you for trying. it does mean a lot to me, honestly, ‘cause everything is a ‘lil — or a lot — confusing right now in the world of matt. we’re tryna’ get it all figured out. stay tuned. i do really like your face, but you didn’t hear that shit from me. aw, look at ‘ya. bein’ honest ‘bout your feelings ’n whatnot. i dig that. keep it up. you’re right, you’re right. this is no longer the age of the pushover. we left that in 2016, like we should’ve left a lot of shit. look, i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to throw this word vomit at you all at once. i just … i didn’t know if it was gonna’ be okay. because we talk a lot of game ’n whatnot, but i don’t ever know if it’s serious, and i didn’t wanna overstep and ruin everything forever. honestly, i dunno’ why i keep tryna’ justify this. there’s no justification here. i just wanted to know what it’d be like, ‘ya know ? to kiss the boy that runs through my head all the goddamn time. to see what that meant. and, like … i don’t know what it means, yet. but i know that i … am terrified, because i like the way it feels. your mouth is so warm and safe and somehow adrenaline-providing all the while and i ———— should just stop talking and keep doing what i think i’ve wanted to do for a really, really long time. you gotta’ stop being so far away, though. i don’t enjoy this gap between us. come here. ❞