forgetful `

[mtthwbyrne]

david

David felt tired, something that shocked him as soon as he found himself able to identify. As though he had been stretched to his limit, the male rubbed at his cheek, letting out a breath. “This isn’t the field,” he said lowly, glancing up at Matt, “It doesn’t do me any good to get angry.” In fact, it seemed that showing any strong emotion at all these days was played poorly against him. “I’m getting another lawyer, we meet next week. My alibis fell through, but–” His fingers clenched, a small break in a facade. “It’s not fucking fair.”  The mention of Lia made him calm, looking back up. “I’m free right now, if you are.”

It definitely wasn’t easy, seeing his best friend in this kind of situation. Of course, Matthew had never imagined that either of them would get to this point. They both had had such bright futures back in college, but now it seemed like the pair of them were stumbling around in the dark. “But anyone in their right mind will see that you’re innocent in all this,” he stated firmly, never having once believed what the papers were saying about David. “No, it’s not,” he breathed out with a frown. A brow quirked, hand rubbing at the back of his neck, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m free now.”

[mtthwbyrne]

shay

With her weekends suddenly sparse and available for the first time in years, Shay discovered herself at a loss for how to spend them. After an hour and a half of lazing around her apartment, she finally trekked down to the park to begin sketching, though she nearly lost control of her notepad when a small figure collided with her own. “Hey, are you alright?” Immediately the brunette crouched to check on the girl, pushing some long hair from her features just as the man she presumed to be the child’s father approached. “It’s cool; no harm, no foul. I don’t think she could do much damage if she tried.”

With a look to his daughter, Matthew raised an expectant brow, waiting for Lia to offer up an apology for running into the woman. The words left her lips in a hushed tone, even though he knew how vocal she could be when she wasn’t in trouble. “Guess there goes her dreams of being a linebacker in the NFL,” he mused with a laugh, directing his gaze back to Shay. “You sure you’re alright? Nothing was ruined?” He questioned while indicating the notepad within her hand.

[mtthwbyrne]

david

“There’s nothing I can do about it,” David said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “If I get mad, it’s not gonna change the fact that everyone’s fuckin’ seen it.” He sighed, “Mav lost his job over it.” The athlete neglected to mention that he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be asked back to his own as a result. Lia was a source of light in his life, something untouched by the nastiness of the world that he seemed oftentimes subjected to. “Any chance I can see her soon?” He lifted a shoulder. “Any chance we can talk properly, too?”

It was strange to see how different things had become. Between the two of them, Matthew had always been the more rational, the one to step back and evaluate the situation before allowing his emotions to get the better of him. Now it seemed like their roles had been reversed. “No, but you have the right to be angry. This is a big deal,” he offered up the words despite claiming that he’d never speak to David again. No matter what had happened between them, they were friends. “That’s not right, he shouldn’t have to suffer over this. Neither of you should.” But that was life, cruel and unjust. A hand swiped across his jaw, teeth nipping at the inside of his lower lip, “She’s been asking about you.” And it was unfair of him to deny his daughter this, “Are you free this weekend?”

[mtthwbyrne]

mckenna

It curled at the corners of her lips a little more, her laugh a little more real this time as she remembered all too well the look on his face as they’d watched the little window tell them what she already knew. Pregnant. He’d been over the moon, she’d been no different, and for a moment there hadn’t been a single worry over what they’d do, their only thought had been the fact that they’d be parents; together. “You stayed with me,” she continued on, “you didn’t even wanna’ leave me to go to class the next day, I had to convince you that I’d be fine.” From day one, he’d worried over her, as if the smallest thing might change their world again; as if it’d all been a dream and they’d wake up from it too soon. “I remember that you stayed up while I tried to sleep. You were..–” She smiled a little more looking across at him as she remembered how eager he’d been, “looking up everything you could about pregnancies and what I should or shouldn’t do, what I couldn’t eat.. I had to pry the laptop from your hands to get you to try sleep, and even then I don’t think you did.” She, on the other hand had been exhausted. Frowning slightly, McKenna paused and held her hand up for a moment as she stood up and crossed the room, pulling out a drawer to dig through a small box of cards, letters, small keepsakes she’d kept until she found a small crumpled piece of paper. “When I woke up you were working on this.” Despite the fact that she had every intention in giving it to him, she hesitated for a moment, the list of baby names in her hand seemed like a silly thing to keep when their own daughter was already here in the flesh, but it was a memory; she’d never loved Matthew more than she had when she’d seen how truly excited he’d been for the next step in their lives, it was how she knew she would have been completely okay with putting her life on hold for a little while. McKenna held it out for him, the paper folded all too many times in the past, “I think this was the third list you made, you had ink all over your cheek and I just..–” The sharp intake of air was necessary as she stopped, lips pursing as she retracted her steps to grab for the bottle of water she’d sat beside her gym bag earlier.

The words flowed of a memory that only briefly returned to him, providing few details in what had been a huge ordeal for the pair of them. A hand curled over his mouth, fingers pressing into his jaw. His eyes didn’t leave her face, focusing on it as the words slipped past her lips. The night they found out they would be having a baby recounted for him. There was a feeling deep within him that told him he’d been happy, unimaginably so from learning that Kenna was pregnant. So why, if he had been that happy, couldn’t he remember all the details of the night? If what she was saying was true, this would have been one of the happiest days of his life. And he could hardly remember it. Nostrils flared from the sudden release of air that had been held within his lungs for an extended amount of time. It had taken years for Matthew to come to terms with the fact that he may never remember all the years of his life, all the cherished moments that he’d lived. But sitting here, listening to such a meaningful moment in both of their lives, it created such an ache in his chest that he wasn’t certain he’d ever get over. For the most part, he’d been listening without reaction, taking in the words hoping to piece together the memory that was struggling to return. But when she stood up, his hand dropped away from his face, Matthew stirring to stand up. Only to be halted by her return, the crumpled paper in her hand. Brows crashed together, confusion apparent in his features. His gaze shifted from her own to the paper within her hands, until she was holding it out to him. Fingers gently took it from her, eyes dropping down to what was unmistakably his own handwriting. There was an inhale of air, teeth catching at the insides of his cheeks. Baby names, both male and female, were scribbled on any visible surface of the paper. He recognized a few of them, jotted down from family members that bore the same name. “We didn’t even choose from the many that I’d written that night,” he spoke hesitantly, eyes still dancing across the page.

[charmanderdiyoza]

[mtthwbyrne]

mckenna

Hope was a fickle thing. One day it could be all you held onto, and the next, you couldn’t find it in the brightest ray of sunlight. While there wasn’t a single part of her that didn’t want Matthew to remember, she’d finally begun to let go of the idea that he ever would. Bits and pieces she could accept — but one of the most defining moments of their life together? It was a kick in the teeth that she could barely breathe beyond it. Frowning, she traced the lines of her long worn coffee table, stained wood from coffee mugs and spilled coffee that almost carved their way into the grains and she wished he’d been wrong. Five years ago, she could have believed that each returned memory would be a gift, but now – after so long, what she’d wanted just felt like a twisted knife in her gut. “We were supposed to go out that night, Tyler’s birthday, I think.” She’d remembered the sound of the football team jeering at Matthew over the phone when he’d called to say they weren’t coming. “I was sick all morning, it woke you up and you stayed in with me all day. You made yourself something with bacon and the smell of it alone…–” She turned up her nose at the memory, the first moment she’d realized what the sickness was. “I knew before we took the test but you.– you wanted to, just to be sure.” His doctors had always told her to be gentle, to let him remember things on his own, but before she knew it the memory fell from her lips like an overflowing sink, her throat catching on the swelling emotion that formed a lump she couldn’t budge. A laugh cut through it all, short and sweet as she pressed the pad of her finger into the inner corner of her eye and brushed away the touch of salted water, “I’d never seen you smile like that before.”

The memories came slowly, bits and pieces infiltrating his sleeping mind, displaying themselves in what he could only imagine were dreams. But he had always been told that one could hardly remember their dreams as the day went on. These details, however, continued to remain. They started to become more vivid, creating a feeling within him that argued against his mind telling him they were simply dreams. It felt like he had lived these dreams, becoming more and more real with each occurrence. Now he sat in McKenna’s living room, listening to her finally confirm that what he had confessed was real. A breath was released, shoulders slumping from the tension that had been eased out of them. His eyes lifted from his clasped hands to her features, shifting over them as he listened to her recount the memory further. Tyler’s birthday, the guys teasing and taunting him; she was filling in the blanks that his mind hadn’t fully been able to provide. Was he finally remembering, after all these years? He remembered Aurelia, almost every moment of her life, but there were still bits that had been displaced from his mind. Like the day they had found out Kenna was pregnant, or the day that she had given birth. Now he could cross one of those off the list of memories he may never get back. “I was...so inexplicably happy,” he spoke hesitantly, brows squeezing together. “I didn’t --- care about anything else, only you and the start of our family.” And he hadn’t. Even if it meant giving up his chance at a football career, he had only wanted to be with Kenna and their child, to start their family.

[mtthwbyrne]

mckenna

Another thing to stress about, that was all each new day seemed to bring and despite her concern, she felt something sink in her chest. Would there ever be a day where she could just breathe? Was it terrible of her to want that while he was standing right there in front of her clearly struggling with something. It was beyond her, why he’d come here — it’d been so long since he’d sought out her help, McKenna almost worried, even now, that she’d say something and he’d push her away again. As it finally spilled through his lips, her breathe stilled in her throat and out of nostalgia alone, she brushed the palm of her hand over her stomach, the memory still clear as day in her own mind. Moments passed and she soon shook her head, they couldn’t talk about this on her doorstep. “You should come inside, you can’t stand out here like this.” McKenna said quietly, stepping away from the doorway and waiting for him to come in before she closed the door behind him. Leading him through to the living room, she watched him carefully, the frazzled look that he couldn’t seem to shake made her feel ill — it reminder her so much of the first few weeks he fought against the memory loss, while he still fought to find something solid in his conscious. “Is that what you remember?” She asked gently, gesturing to the couch as she sat down herself. 

If he had been thinking clearly, Matthew may have understood that this was unfair to her. Unfair of him to show up on her doorstep baiting her with the potential of his memories coming back. What if they weren’t? What if this was some fake memory his brain conjured up in his sleep? Maybe he was just losing it, completely and undeniably. The silence grew between them after he had posed the question, and when his gaze finally lifted to her face, he saw the shake of her head. A sour taste immediately rushed its way into his mouth, Matthew clamping teeth down onto the sides of his tongue. He knew it. This wasn’t a real memory. But then she was ushering him into her home, and Matthew obediently followed her instructions, walking to the living room seemingly on auto pilot. As she voiced her question, Matthew raked his mind for the details of the scene he had provided. Had it just been a dream? It couldn’t possibly have been, because it felt so real. And he could remember it, in vivid detail the longer he focused on it. They initially had sat across from each other, with the pregnancy tests she had taken situated between them. Then he remembered resting against the wall her bed was pushed up again, with her in his arms as they discussed all that it could mean for them. “I --- don’t know. It feels real,” he confessed with a frown touching his lips, lowering himself onto her couch. “I think...bits of memories have been coming back,” he spoke with his gaze focused on his hands, joined together in his lap. “I wasn’t sure, though. They come when I’m sleeping, and I...haven’t been able to tell what’s real or not.”

[mtthwbyrne]

mckenna

Fingers had been tangled in dampened hair when she’d heard the knock at her door and true to her very few moments on her own, she might have even paused long enough to considering not answering at all. The silence of her home not always as comforting as they were right now. Unfortunately, even thinking like that made her feel guilty and so, pulling dark locks across her shoulder she continued picking at the knots as she opened the door to find familiar dark locks and freckles. “Did I miss a call or something?” She thought briefly, her phone lay where she’d thrown it on her couch when she’d gotten home, “What’s going on, you look.. – you don’t look so good, Matty.”

He likely looked a mess standing on her doorstep. He hadn’t even bothered to fix up his hair before rushing to her home, thankful that Lia was still at her latest after school program. When McKenna pulled open the door to reveal herself, Matthew found himself at a loss for words. He took hers in, mulled over them as he tried to collect his thoughts. But they were going a mile a minute, Matthew unable to grab hold of one long enough to formulate a coherent sentence. Wiping a hand across his face, he took a deep breath, calming his thoughts long enough to determine what he needed to say. “The night we found out you were pregnant,” he dropped his gaze as the words started to come, “we stayed in your dorm room, talking about all the possibilities. We talked about what this would mean for us, whether we could handle being parents. How we could handle it. We ---- we ordered food from that hole in the wall restaurant down on First Street, and stayed up all night even though we both had early classes.” He formulated the words as if they were a memory, but he couldn’t be certain they weren’t simply from a dream, conjured up by his broken mind. “Is that ---- is that a real memory?”

[mtthwbyrne]

starter for @mckennxtcrres

There were a fair number of things that Matthew couldn’t be certain of. Many of those were a result of the memories he could no longer recall. He had grown accustom to the uncertainty, to the blank spots in his memory. But when he’d woken from a nap taken after his shift, there was a level of uncertainty that he simply couldn’t ignore. And so he found himself on the doorstep of McKenna, knocking heavily against her door with the strong need to speak with her. 

[mtthwbyrne]

david

David sighed, raking a hand through his hair. Dark eyes lifted to meet Matthew’s, and he failed to hide the surprise that stained his features. “Yeah,” he responded honestly, relaxing into his stance. “It’s a stupid headline, but I’ve had worse.” His chin tilted up, “I miss Lia.” The athlete let out a breath, “I miss both of you.”

There was an uncertainty, one that he’d never needed before when talking with David. He’d always been able to say what was on his mind, but now he felt --- awkward. “You sure? It seemed a little...intense,” he stated, all the while trying to keep his mind off McKenna. It was easier to do when David’s next words drifted between them. Sighing softly, he nodded his head, lifting a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. “She misses you, too,” he spoke softly, mentioning nothing of himself. While he missed his best friend, he also still needed time to understand all that had happened.

[mtthwbyrne]

david

Taking a walk to let off steam felt like a better idea than going back to the gym– after pushing himself that week, his body was starting to feel less like a well oiled machine and more like a sack of sand. Dark eyes lifted, and he caught a familiar figure heading his way. After two days of not talking to Matthew, he had begun to debate just popping by to see Aurelia, a thought of which he had quelled completely. With Maverick no longer speaking to him and half the town back to giving him sideways glances, he missed the solidity of Matt’s friendship. “Hi,” he returned, pausing to shove his hands in his pockets. “How’re things?”

The encounter already felt ---- strange, to say the least. There was a part of Matthew that knew David would always be his friend, no matter what had happened. Even if another part of him hated the other for what did happen. It was a struggle he wasn’t sure when, or if, he’d get over. The question hung between them, Matthew uncertain how to answer it. “Uh...good, things are good,” he answered, a hand lifting to scratch at the back of his neck. “I ---,” tongue snaked out, cutting off the words to slid over lips. “I saw the article. You doing alright?”

[mtthwbyrne]

starter for @shaycampbell

Now that the weekend was upon them, Matthew was finally able to take Aurelia out for the day. Which meant showing up at the park as usual so that she could play with the other kids and run around the structure. It was expected that as they neared the park, his daughter would untangle her hand from his and take off. What was not expected was the woman she pushed past on her way. Hurrying forward towards the woman, Matthew offered up a sheepish grin, “I’m so sorry about her. She gets a little too excited for the park.”

[mtthwbyrne]

starter for @d-avidcorvin

It had been close to a month since he’d last seen David, since he’d told the other man that he was no longer welcome at his home. The last month had seen Matthew focusing on Aurelia, along with school and work, which left little time for any chance encounters. Such as this one, with David walking directly towards him on the less than busy sidewalk. Though he debated on it, he figured that there was no chance he could get away without the other seeing him. So he stood his ground, shifting only when David got near, “Hey.”

[mtthwbyrne]

mckenna

It was a piece of home that she was so sure she’d lost, and perhaps only then did she realize just how much she’d missed either of them. The once broken cavern in her chest a slow and cataclysmic ache now that begged for her to cling to what she’d already let go of. It was toxic, all of it was – while McKenna’s love for Aurelia never once began to fade, she knew who she was, and when she’d made the decision to do everything on her own, she’d known that Matthew’s only real tether to who he was lay in the bright eyes of the little girl in her arms. Leaving had left her permanently bruised, one wrong turn and she felt it all, but for the sake of the man she’d loved it had been just one more sacrifice she’d make for him. The makings of a small smile stretched across her features and though she’d already thanked him, it resonated within her that perhaps they could still find some level ground, McKenna whispering yet another grateful thank you beneath her breath before she stepped back from the door to let him in. “No..– No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to..– It is, it’s still my favorite. I was just..” Making a big deal out of it was selfish, and though it gave way to false hopes, McKenna reminded herself that there’d been almost too many of them with him. “You know, I should probably apologize?” She almost questioned, closing the door behind him to make her way back into her home, “I didn’t realize until this morning that I’d messaged you yesterday.”

For as long as Matthew could remember, his whole life had seemingly been established before him in a smooth fashion. From the first football team he’d played on to the day he was accepted into college, it felt as if his life had already been determined for him. Everything had been so easy for him. But now, with blank spots in his memory and an uncertainty growing in his core, Matthew felt as if everything was out of his control. Standing on the doorstep to McKenna’s house, he almost felt as if he didn’t belong there, as if he should drop off their daughter and turn away. As the words spilled forth from McKenna, his eyes danced across her features, brow firmly pulled together. It was obvious, plain as day on her face that he’d said something he likely shouldn’t have known. Again, he was giving false hope that memories were returning to him. He felt guilty, as if he were giving her something that he truly couldn’t. The doctors had mentioned that he may remember small fragments here and there, but it was no guarantee that all his memories would return to him. Or even anything worth a mention or a phone call. Teeth caught a bit of the inside of his cheek, chewing at it while he wondered if he should even respond. Would he make it worse? Could he say anything without drawing the attention of Aurelia, who couldn’t possibly understand what was happening between her parents? Instead, Matthew chose to let it slide for now, giving a nod of his head as the only answer. Hesitantly stepping further into her home, eyes danced across features that he’d not seen before. And while he moved, he worked to keep rampant thoughts from creeping into his mind, of settling negatively upon an otherwise positive moment. “It’s really alright, I wasn’t bothered,” he responded, a soft smile finally returning to his lips. “Are you feeling better?”

[mtthwbyrne]

mckenna

Hell didn’t quite cover it, the sluggish feeling that followed her from the confines of an empty bed to her living room couch, the dark shadows of her small home only a mild relief from the ache that throbbed against the inside of her skull. Whatever she’d drank had very clearly been a terrible idea, along with whatever else that might have happened. The gentle knock at her door stirred her from a daze not quite sleep, and in a flurry of limbs she rolled from the comfort of cushion and blankets to trudge her way to the door with a hefty sigh. However little tolerance she might have thought she found disappeared at the sight of Matthew with Lia in tow. Almost instantly, features brightened and she crouched low enough to meet her daughter, “Hiya baby. Oh my god, look how big you are!” She cooed, pulling her close, lifting her up into her arms, the ever familiar moment enough to bring a lump to her throat and a prickle to chestnut hues. Fingers curled into the loose locks of her daughters hair, savoring as much as she could; she’d already missed so much. “You didn’t have to do any of this, Matty.” Her voice broke against her sincerity, pressing a long overdue kiss to the crown of their daughters head. He really didn’t – at this point in time he owed her nothing. Chewing at her lesser lip, she paused long enough to look up at him. “Thank you. Do you..–” Like every conversation they’d ever had, things felt too familiar, so much so that she’d once again almost missed it, “Did you say you brought me greek food?” Unlike last time, she wouldn’t jump directly to a truth within all the memories he’d lost, maybe it was nothing; but the jarring of her heart was almost painful.

There was no fighting the smile that formed on lips after seeing the shift of features when McKenna caught sight of Lia. He didn’t need memories of a past forgotten to be reminded of how much love flowed between mother and daughter. It was the very reason that he couldn’t keep Lia from her, regardless of anything that transpired between them. He was still very much hurt from the knowledge that had been kept from him for years, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. Especially not now with Lia there. The beating of his heart skipped at the ever present nickname, one that reminded him of videos he had watched to hopefully trigger an onslaught of memories. “I know, but --- I wanted to,” he rolled his shoulders as the words came to an end. His gaze focused on the back of his daughter’s head, to the bushel of hair that reminded him so much of his own. It was easier, to keep his gaze off of McKenna. But it couldn’t remain that way for long, as the question parted from her lips, his gaze instantly shifted to her eyes. Brows furrowed together briefly, hesitantly as he opened his mouth to respond. But no words came out, because Matt wasn’t certain what to say. His mind worked over the information, trying to establish where he’d heard it or from who. But the knowledge wasn’t coming forward, and he was again at a loss with his memories. “Is it --- not your favorite?” He finally questioned, lips curving down into a frown, momentarily upset that he’d messed this up.

[mtthwbyrne]

starter for @mckennxtcrres​

It certainly didn’t take a genius to know that McKenna would be feeling it after the festival. The text messages she’d sent were proof enough of that. So while she seemed eager to see Lia, he gave her some time to recover before coming round. And while he was still reeling from the recent information, Matthew was certainly not going to keep his daughter from her mother. With one of Lia’s hands tucked gently into his own, he used his other to knock gently against the front door of McKenna’s place. As the door opened before them, Matt smiled gently while brandishing the bag he’d brought along, “Figured you might still be recovering, so got a few things for you.” He lowered the bag while simultaneously releasing Lia’s hand so that she may go to McKenna, “I stopped by a local Greek place. It’s still your favorite, right?” Brows furrowed for the briefest of moments, wondering if he was wrong in that sense. In all honesty, he couldn’t even remember who had told him this information, or whether they would even know.

[madeforgardens]