Muchadobowtnothing

A permanent reminder of my internal daily rants

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Diet Probs of a Bridesmaid-To-Be

The sun is calling me outside to the beer garden. To BBQ. To eat drink and be merry but alas this is not to be. Three months time sees me a bridesmaid, walking down the aisle in front of my sister the bride…so I find myself in full on diet mode which slightly dampens the delightful weather. I say slightly. I mean a lot. A fuck of a lot.

A drive past the local pub observing those sipping a pint or glass of Prosecco whilst engaging in small talk results in pangs of envy, followed by an array of colourful language as I blame some ‘tosser’ for my near miss of driving up the arse of his car as I space out. Daydream. Wish I was negotiating the cobbles in my heels to join alfresco .

A trip to the shops to buy dinner for my daughter, because although I wish I didn’t have to look at food I’m obligated as her Mother to feed her, is torture. My mouth waters as my stomach screams for pate, cheese and chicken that still has its skin. While I cook her a dinner including carbs, the salivating continues as I explain we are eating different food because I am making an effort to be more ‘healthy’ and I am most certainly not on a ‘diet’. At the tender age of just 12 she is already image conscious beyond her years, faced daily with media opinion of what is deemed ‘ideal’….‘hair goals’ ‘body goals’. What happened to ‘career goals’ ‘life goals’? So I bite my tongue and nod convincingly when she asks if I’m enjoying my chicken salad. No dressing. No salt.

A trip to the gym is depressing as fuck too. Reduced calorie intake equals less energy which equals a pissed off me; I don’t feel my fitness levels are anywhere near their optimum. But how could they be? Who ever heard of an athlete who trained on 500 calories a day? 500 cals. No carbs. Water and black coffee.

So while I sit here, type, moan, contemplate what a hypocrite I am preaching to my child about making healthy choices, I wonder is it worth it? Is suppressing every single last food craving worth it for one day as bridesmaid.…I’m not the bride after all! Who gives a shit what I look like? Well I give a shit. My motivation which has lacked the past year is now in overdrive and fuck yeah it’s worth it. When the bridesmaid dress fits and I’m comfortably back in size 12 jeans minus muffin top, I’ll be happy….‘bridesmaid goals’ ‘jeans goals’ ‘weight goals’ 😝 xxxxx