after seeing so many different responses the idea of transfem ralsei as of ch5, and how kris tends to be brought up as a comparison, i've kinda realized something. i think a lot of people misunderstand what this alludes to in terms of deltarune's story progression. if we assume that transfem ralsei is indeed the intended reading based on everything we've seen so far, then this is a slowly developing gender-realization-and-coming-out arc that's STILL going - and i think this is what gets lost on some people who argue against it. long as hell analysis incoming
i think kris and how their gender is portrayed is a good example for explaining this, but it's mainly bc of how different their cases are. kris is referred to exclusively with they/them pronouns since the beginning. this includes their family, friends, and literally everyone else they know. kris is also, importantly, not verbally gendered in any other way - not even as nonbinary! at least not so far. based on this and their ambiguous appearance, we HAVE to assume that this is how kris is supposed to be viewed. this is what the game's text supports and wants you to understand. and it only makes sense for this to be their own choice:
some monsters in the world of deltarune have nonbinary or otherwise ambiguous genders, but they seem to be a minority. in fact there's a LOT of details (especially in ch5!) implying that hometown upholds some pretty cisheteronormative standards despite their hospitality. while i don't think this is gonna come up as a plot point anytime soon, i DO think it's an intentional way of telling us that kris feels like an outcast, as with their humanity. but while kris may be seen as weird for being the only human in hometown, it doesn't seem like humans are rare or unheard of in this world, just wildly misunderstood in monster-dominant spaces (it's also often theorized that susie used to live in a human-dominant town, there's evidence to this but not much). THIS IS MORE OF AN ALLEGORY FOR RACE THOUGH.
my point is: if monster society has a perception of gender that's open-minded but still largely binary and encourages stereotypical gender roles, and if we assume human society is similar and just another normal demographic in this world (implied segregation aside), then i don't think kris is referred to with neutral pronouns and deliberately Not Gendered just because no one knows. it's GOTTA BE something they've chosen for themself, something they've had to express to the people they grew up with; AKA they've already come out. this is further supported by a lot of hints at them being raised as a boy initially (their wardrobe + emphasis on only getting to experiment with clothes in the dark world, the comically masculine body spray that they refuse to use, so much of their history with noelle, mancountry, etc). and while everyone seems to be accepting of this, they may not all fully understand/know what to "do" with it - which is a very common trans/nonbinary experience btw 💀 it definitely feels like another layer to their awkward family dynamic, like the dreemurrs just don't really know how to best support their queer child, and in an effort to avoid upsetting them a lot of things just kinda...... get glossed over.
and i'm bringing up all of this because, even if kris still doesn't feel like they're truly allowed to express themself, the game INTRODUCED US to kris as openly nonbinary and has since done nothing to convince us otherwise. this is not what's going on with ralsei.
ralsei is, before we even see their face, established as a boy. a prince. he/him pronouns only in every context. because the prophecy says so, and the prophecy was all they ever knew to begin with! they saw literally their whole existence as an inarguable law of the universe chosen FOR them. then over time, thanks to their friendship with kris and susie, they slowly start breaking out of their shell in various ways: revealing (ALL OF!) their face (hiding under 2 disguises at once is wild), making jokes, trying new things, expressing anger and negative opinions, indulging in their own desires, accepting that violence in self-defense is sometimes needed, trying to make sense of things that upset them..... and eventually, questioning the prophecy in favor of something better, even if it seems impossible, because the alternative would just hurt too much. questioning their own role in the story. even without the more blatant bits of gender discussion, and the fact that ralsei REALLY wants you to think they're cute and pretty while still getting all bashful and talking about it like it's more of an act/costume than anything, all of that other stuff on its own could easily read as a trans allegory.
and for a long time that WAS the general consensus for many in the fandom - that their journey of self-discovery and will to defy fate was enough for a transfem reading to make sense, even just as a headcanon. but ch5 has clearly done more than any other chapter so far to stress that gender IS a key element in ralsei's overall arc. and this arc isn't finished yet. and i do think it's relevant that the 2 instances of ralsei being referred to with they/them pronouns are what they are; 1) the description box, that always seems to have a greater understanding of the party's current status than anything else; and 2) asgore, who doesn't know anything about ralsei and can only guess, and only Thinks about them to himself, rather than talking to kris like he did with susie in that scene. so far, flowery is the only character who has VERBALLY implied that ralsei isn't a boy - to their face. in secret. and honestly? i DON'T think ralsei is gonna stop being referred to with he/him in the next chapter. at least not immediately. i acknowledge this as a sign of things to come, i just don't think ralsei themself, or the game, are ready to spell it out just yet. but that doesn't mean they're not thinking it.
ralsei has been pushed to extreme frustration and come to a lot of realizations this chapter, and they're still working through a lot. we don't really get to know how they're doing at the end since they ask to be left alone. while they were able to open up about a lot of things and be consoled in the previous chapter, ch5 ends on a much more.... uncomfortably tense note for everyone (UUGHHHH KRUSIELLE UOOGUGHUGHGHGHHHH). multiple storms are brewing.
so my question is: why aren't more people treating ralsei's current gender thoughts like any other part of the story that slowly, gradually evolves as it's being revealed? or rather, why is it CONTROVERSIAL to treat it as such?
in order to dissect a still-ongoing story like this, you have to take both past and current information into account, but also how the information is given to us, and whether or not there's a pattern to it. and we ARE going to do this, obviously, because it's such a big part of what makes UTDR special! analysis and predictions are half the fun! so why is ralsei different? why does it cause such a stir in so many people, including other trans people, if you claim that ralsei's current sense of self is only temporary? why is it controversial to talk about what their future self might be like, if it's a completely earnest prediction based on facts, and not "just" a headcanon? why do people seem to be more tolerant of the concept when it IS "just" a headcanon, than when the text genuinely seems to support it? why is this not more widely considered to be what the writing WANTS you to think?
there's a pretty simple answer to this of course, but i don't think it's what a lot of people want to hear.
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