word vomit

I come here when I don’t want to relapse

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

the way other people see you doesn’t change your value

[mujeranarquista]

My twin flame, where do I begin?

It feels like we’ve been fighting for eons to be together, no matter what we went through, for some reason we held on.

So unsure as to why we felt tied to one another, only to finally see that you are the love I always needed.

I love you not for what you do for me, but for how beautiful you are. The world is undeserving of you, you are not if this place..you radiate love..you hold things with gentle hands, cry when you see cats on the streets..a sweet boy with the softest heart

I love you, and I will always love you..I pray there’s a life after this one where I get to love you again and again and again~

[mujeranarquista]

It often feels like I missed the train

I see people getting married and having kids

And here I sit, having an existential crisis while in love with someone who isn’t ready

All the milestones you’re supposed to reach..I don’t see any of that in my future

I can’t picture anyone loving me so truly madly deeply enough forever

[mujeranarquista]

You came in like a swift breeze from the south

Stirring up something deep within me

Something long dead and forgotten..

With gentle hands and a giving heart

You've ignited a fire so bright

Now the entire world knows you love me

[mujeranarquista]

You made me feel like dying

Made me think I'd never find someone better

But baby don't you know that I feel by the moon?

You were a phase, but with this new moon comes an even better love, one that isn't selfish, but kind and pure

[mujeranarquista]

I hate that I still feel like it's all my fault

[mujeranarquista]

I'm not ready to go without you to my next festival..

You showed me a whole new world and I took it for granted...i hate how I left things..how toxic we were there at the end..but I still love you and I honestly always will. The one that got away, the love of my life I am so sorry I failed you...

As much as it hurts to think about, I hope you marry someone worthy of your last name...someone who loves you like I still do (but even better).

[mujeranarquista]

I don't know what I'm doing

What am I here for

If not to be with you

But there's a wall where your heart used to be

One I helped build and now find myself outside of

I do what I can

Act like I'm yours even when you deny me

I must be stupid

Thinking you'll ever love me again

It'd be easier if you just told me you want me gone

Instead of leading me on

Letting me build a fantasy world where you love me again

When in reality you've locked yourself away

And have turned me into a vacant shell of who I used to be

[mujeranarquista]

I like how I was expected to handle your shit when you were shitfaced and mean

But when it's me

Drunk and hurt by your words

I'm making a scene

I'm ruining YOUR night

Sometimes I feel like you never loved me at all

I was just here to be your fucking maid

Fetch you your drinks when you asked

Be available for sex when YOU wanted it

After we broke up we fucked and I was screaming and crying for you to stop but both of us being drunk you just kept on saying I could handle more

I've torn myself down for people one too many times..

If you don't want me then fucking say it with your chest don't dangle your love in front of me for kicks

[mujeranarquista]

I feel ugly

Unwanted

Like I'm not the type of woman you chase after

I'm not the life of the party

I'm shy

I don't demand a crowds attention

I'm not older for you

Not thick or of a darker skin tone

I don't feel pretty

Don't feel like I'm the woman you deserve

And I am so fucking sorry

[mujeranarquista]

I think you've grown tired of me, I think it's truly better that I just leave...

You'll probably prosper more, be a better version of you if I were to go back home

I would be broken, completely

Devastated but perhaps it is the karma I deserve

Maybe I only got to have a taste of you

Maybe that's all I was ever meant to get

But I always jump the gun

I always make things harder for myself and those I love bc I'm stubborn

Maybe you'll find a nice girl on tinder, someone who isn't broken and depressed

Someone who can push you to better yourself in more ways than I ever could

[mujeranarquista]

The days are long and lonely when you're away

I'm sad and lonely when you choose to push me away

You fight my current so much

I'm sorry that your past loves made you think you were difficult to care for and love

But don't lump me with them

Don't hold what they did against me

You might fuck around and lose a true blessing baby

[mujeranarquista]

The doubts are stronger than I am today

I feel useless, incompetente.

It hurts more bc I can feel you all around me

I don't deserve you

I dont think I ever did

Maybe

Maybe I deserve it

Im not perfect and karma never forgets.

[mujeranarquista]

With each passing day I can feel you pulling away from me

I can only hope you'll come back to me like the ocean does the shore

No matter how hard gravity pulls you away

I need to know that you'll crash back into me

I need to know that you love me

Even on the bad days

[mujeranarquista]

I've been feeling weird since yesterday, you planted a seed of doubt in my belly, watered it and let me go. I can feel its roots wrapping themselves around my heart, spreading their fear, their doubt, that you'll love me just to leave me. I feel I won't be able break down your walls like you've done mine. The difference between you and me is that I love until I'm given a reason not to and you don't love until you're given a reason to do so. This dance we do Everytime we speak is complex and requires patience, a virtue I often lack..

[mujeranarquista]

i dont know what to do with myself anymore at this point it just feel like i’m treading water i’m exhausted i’m broke my spirit is in major rehabilitation i feel like an empty shell

why are we even doing this? do you even love me still? it’s so hard for me to believe anything you say where once honey dripped, acid seeps from your lips i need a change of pace

a different place perhaps a different life

[mujeranarquista]

you’re so beautiful it pains me to know that there have been people who have treated you any less than you deserve you are my north star the Orpheus to my Eurydice