MIND MAZE OF MY LIVING EVIDENCE @multialteregos - Tumblr Blog

nevver

Micah Lexier

weltenwellen

Mary Oliver, “A Voice from I Don’t Know Where”, Felicity

When "Franz Kafka" wrote "there are times, dearest, when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship". I felt that.

fairydrowning

"Days I feel like a human being, while other days I feel more like a sound. I touch the world not as myself but as an echo of who I was."

– "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" Novel by Ocean Vuong

mothprincess

propertiesofjoy

inri, raúl zurita

metamorphesque

— a girl is a haunted house, tathève simonyan

[text ID: “I could’ve lived like this”, echoed in my head. / As I looked around, my eyes unthinkingly clung to places where I could’ve hidden my selves: the ones that didn’t come to being and the one that I was. In the cupboards of this kitchen I could’ve buried all the women I could’ve grown into. While doing so, I would’ve put on the apron of the one who inhabited the kitchen. The cups and the glasses would’ve made place for me. I could’ve easily found a home in between the kitchen table and refrigerator. As the fragrance of rosemary and thyme found their way to me, a picture found its way to the back of my eyes: a hushed scene, full of contentment, a shot of me standing in the center of this kitchen, feet thick brown trucks giving birth to dozens of snakelike radixes, covered in colorful moss, devoid of flowers but who needs flowers when all they do is wilt anyway? I would’ve thought so, had I been the me of that frame. / I could’ve been content here, not happy, but content. The cutlery and the plates would’ve made place for me. The dull roar of the washing machine would’ve hidden my cries, with the same diligence it sheltered my mother’s. The “what ifs” of this particular scenario smelled of cinnamon and vanilla. / I could’ve been content here. I thought as I placed the coffee cup on the countertop next to the gas stove: the surface always wet for it filled the space between the sink and the stove, in between water and fire. / I could’ve been content here. I repeated as I unscrewed the lid of the coffee jar and took out a spoonful of the umber powder. / While turning on the gas and putting the cezve on its designated place, I cursed the mind that yearned for more, yearned to be more than what it was supposed to be. I cursed the eyes that only saw what was not in front of them, hands that wished to touch what wasn’t theirs to touch and the tongue that longed to taste what wasn’t hers to taste. I cursed myself because I understood that I could’ve been content here, and as the umber froth fought its way to the surface, my tears caved in to the gravitational force.]

lousydrawingsforgoodpeople

bluberry-parfait

Oscar Wilde, De Profundis // @i-wrotethisforme // Jorge Louis Berges // @smokeinsilence //@viridianmasquerade //Jorge Louis Berges // @honeytuesday // Kaveh Akbar // F. Scott Fitzgerald // AKR //Olivie Blake, from “Alone With You in the Ether” // Kaveh Akbar, Pilgrimage

cafeinevitable-deactivated20220

“We turn not older with the years, but newer every day.”

— Emily Dickinson

melodiesfromangels

a year.

january calls me a coward, L.H. / february, N.T. / to march, emily dickinson / an ode to april, @written-honey / daydreaming of may, @still-untitled / the truth the dead know, anne saxton / everything changed when i forgave myself, charlotte eriksson / will you be quiet, please? raymond carver / turquoise silence, sanober khan / untitled, @nightb-us / tristesse, gottfried benn (trans. david paisey) / the month of december, @voddxa