Manderlay

Marie. 1996. Diary. A safe space for sapphic sensuality.

[museenkuss]

June. white cotton, red lipstick. trying a new writing routine. bitter orange marmelade. wild strawberries. empty museums, scribbled notes. stacks of beat-up library books. transparent fragrances (delicate citrus, blooming jasmine). working by the open window - rustling paper, rustling branches. dancing bats. litchi lemonade. collecting beautiful sentences, beautiful thoughts, and weaving something worthwhile out of them. doing the work, gently and relentlessly.

[themakeupbrush]

Christian Dior Spring 2024 Haute Couture

[felicitypdf]

emma watson in venice

[angelicdewdrop]

[polysucks]

Surely the tall, battle hardened, scarred, hairy, rude, vulgar, disheveled, but loyal and ferocious knight I have sworn in as my maiden daughter’s personal guard would not dare to look upon her fairness and her his roguish ways and dare to defy the marriage arrangement I have put in place for her.

[polysucks]

I was correct not to be concerned by a potential threat to the marriage pact I have made for my fair maiden daughter. For the battle hardened, scarred, hairy, rude, vulgar, disheveled, but loyal and ferocious knight that has sworn fealty to me as their lord, and thus taken the most honorable oath to protect my maiden daughter is in FACT! A woman. Surely, my best laid plans for my daughter’s future will remain unaltered.

[museenkuss]

Kirschkuchenrezept, pretty please? (Also, I ordered Wäldchestag because you wrote about it, I'm excitedly awaiting its arrival!!)

But of course!! 🍒♥️

125g Butter

125g sugar

1Pck vanilla sugar

A pinch of salt

3 eggs

200g flour

2 tea spoons of baking powder

2 tablespoons of milk

For extra flavour: 50g chopped dark chocolate

One glass of preserved cherries (~350g sans juice)

whisk butter & sugar (works best if butter is a little softened)

Add eggs one by one

Add salt, flour, baking powder

Add milk (and chopped chocolate, if desired)

Add the drained cherries - stir in by hand. The dough is wet but not super runny, stirring them in by hand usually works very well. You could stir them in using a machine but you’ll risk mushing up the cherries.

Bake on low temperature until golden brown. The cake has a spongy texture and a shimmering sheen on top.

Variations: this cake can be made with different fruits. Originally, the recipe involves apples and no chocolate (I think we used to place slices on top of the dough and they would sink in a little while baking, but I’ve made similar cakes where you just chop them and stir them in, which I’m sure would work here). In the apple version, you also add apricot jam on top: heat up a few teaspoons in a water bath, then spread the runny, hot jam on the hot cake, right out the oven (=Aprikotieren). I’m currently working on a version of this cake with bitter orange marmalade on top, maybe with dark chocolate in the dough, but I’m unsure of what main fruit to use. Maybe a few spoonfuls of bitter orange marmalade (with the slim stripes of peel) would work? Excited to try it. Bottom line: this cake can be made with different fruits. I’m sure blackberries or bilberries would work, too. Maybe even redcurrants.

And oooooohh that makes me so happy!!! You’ll have to tell me what you think of it!!! Sei nur tapfer auf der ersten Seite, es ist etwas abstrakt und philosophisch. Man kriegt gleich etwas um die Ohren gehauen haha — aber das Buch reißt mich jedes Mal so mit.

[flixls]

Dancers of the Royal Ballet in Giselle — by Bill Cooper

[ot3]

one of my favorite types of media to experience is stuff that i know in another lifetime i would have been absolutely obsessed with as a kid/teen. going through something as an adult and being like yeah that was pretty good. however if this had made its way to me when i was 12 years old it would have fundamentally altered me and i hope it's fundamentally altering some other 12 year old out there right now. that's the good stuff.

[b-cycle-deactivated20161221]

[lesgardenias]

Léonore Baulac, Le Chant de la Terre

[vintagebooty]

Monique Bernadin Penthouse 1974 Nude Mime Pin-Up “Living Doll”

[museenkuss]

I just learned - and I feel a little silly for not knowing this - not only that Meret Becker (you know, the well-known German actress) also did synchro work for audiobooks and made music (I had to google twice to confirm that it was her, I was so surprised), but also that she at 29 made an album where she sampled Alice in Wonderland in one song (which, as you know, means the world to me). I had to find out about that album via pinterest? But I will say that clicking on the first song that popped up and catching the little fragments of Alice, in the middle of the night, was so special.

[museenkuss]

R. D. LAING, knots (1972)

[rosieandthemoon]

Qingshan Lake in Hangzhou, China

[museenkuss]

I’ve been noticing lately that I’ve found a new flaw to obsess over in my body and it’s quite ridiculous, because I can see from the outside what’s going on. This wasn’t a flaw to me before, I in fact found it quite beautiful, but then I realised that it’s a flaw in the eyes of the outside world. First, I tried to make absolutely sure that it is in fact a flaw, and ever since I’ve confirmed (?) that, I’ll catch myself thorough the day, telling myself things like “well, obviously I know this is quite disgusting, but I’ve made peace with it. It’s disgusting though. Disgusting. But I’ve found I don’t mind that much, really” — as in, I can feel my inner monologue (unprompted, btw) trying to shift my self perception to the outside perception, while framing my former love for this “flaw” as vague affection that I’ve managed to work up to. It’s so insidious, and quite interesting to watch. Whenever I come into contact with that perceived flaw, I’ll break from whatever I was thinking for a little moment to go “but obviously, this is disgusting.” — reassuring the unseen other that I’m well aware that they would perceive this aspect of my body as disgusting.

[museenkuss]

I do wonder what the difference is between Anais Nïn style first person pov erotica and x reader writing.

[museenkuss]

What I’m trying to say is — I keep trying to pinpoint why I dislike x reader writing so much. The self-insert writing means that there is no room for an actual character, because there IS no character. It has to be as empty a shell as possible to allow maximum relatability, which in turn makes the process, to me, deeply market- and profit-oriented, for a lack of a better word. The writer strives to produce a product that will appeal to as many readers as possible.

Meanwhile, the other character is oftentimes reduced to porn stereotypes as well, he (it mostly is a he, let’s be serious) ends up being a perfectly replaceable stereotype with the face of an actor that people find hot. This means that in the end, this whole thing is just perfectly empty, tailored to maximum output. Wir agieren so Zielgruppenorientiert.

But I can’t help but wonder what the difference is to the old first person erotica. In theory, that “I” is also an empty shell. So shouldn’t I find it trite and boring, too? (Anaïs Nin(ignore my earlier mïx up) did struggle with how in order to sell (to men), her stories had to be porn-focused with minimal plot or other lush details, too, after all). Should I rethink my harsh judgement towards x reader writing?

[museenkuss]

It seems to me (for now) that the difference is the ability to engage with a story (and an erotic fantasy) beyond self-identification. The first person narrator, while giving us a very personal account of their erotic encounters and inviting us to enjoy them, is still telling us a story. Yes, their personality might be very reduced, but we are still listening to someone else sharing a fantasy, we’re invited to play pretend with the writer and follow this dear friend of us as they share their adventures with us.

In contrast, the x-reader, y/n, second person narrator, is presenting a fantasy the reader is supposed to see herself (let’s be honest, the target audience is mostly young women) in. Again, on the side of the writer we have this trite and empty y/n shell that’s catered to for maximum profit (likes et al). But on the other side, we also have an overarching unwillingness to actually engage with a story. The reader expects to read about herself, nothing else is allowed. There is no curiosity there, no room to explore fantasies, no actual whimsy (which, to me, is so important for erotica). It’s the issue of the “I would never do that”-attitude that’s been discussed on tumblr a few days ago. I find that rigid self-centredness tiresome, anti-sensual and repulsive.

[mini side note about my fanfic writing (:/)]

[and to make a little side note when it comes to my own experience in fandom spaces: That’s probably why I get so uncomfortable around x-reader writers or readers — the thought of them engaging with what I write is the opposite of a compliment. It implies that my work can easily be stripped of nuance and my characterisation is so off-centre that it can easily be read by people who need to see themselves in a story. So in other words, I failed at capturing the people I intend to write about. It’s an upsetting thought.]

[jinxproof]

Karen Elson | © Steven Meisel Vogue Italia (December 2006)

[chkq-deactivated20260531]

i'm wasting my life on the computer when i could be living my life to the fullest on the computer