Musings of Feelings

When I lay next to you, I'm inspired

[musingsoffeelings]

you’re never enough

one touch

seems minuscule

almost nonexistent

are you even here with me

or are you thinking of the next

big idea

am I even taking up

any of your mental space 

[musingsoffeelings]

What if you

laid next to me 

for a while

enough for me

not something you like

but just do it 

for me

I know it’s hard to 

cuz you gotta do you

but maybe for once

don’t

[musingsoffeelings]

Sometimes I feel like I need to leave the planet. I'm so awkward with people and relationships. I just went on a date that was arranged through my damn sister and her boyfriend and fuck this guy was so nice. I was my defensive quiet self, end result? We end up on my couch dissecting our date and me saying I'm not very good at this. I kid you not, this guy apologized for everything and kept saying we could do whatever I wanted to do, the ultimate pleasing person to be around. Barf. During the date, I texted this asshole I used to sleep with and told him to come watch a movie with me. Because apparently I like being treated like shit. It's the only thing I respond to. Put your hands all over me. Ignore me. I'm only good at the physical, don't expect anything more.

[musingsoffeelings]

my love grows

yours has halted

anxious

i continue to water you

you’re done

[musingsoffeelings]

why did you fuck her

what did you promise?

your lies make it worse

[musingsoffeelings]

I cry out.

I cry.

Both hurt.

[musingsoffeelings]

‘i trust you’ she says

his eyes look determined

no love there

he takes over