f.k.a. pup-jpg; got nuked.
Now featuring:
- more machines
- more blood
- more wretched snarling animal that beats within your ribcage
Fuck off minors.
Kinks+ below cut. RACK, all play. Adults only.
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@mutt-txt
f.k.a. pup-jpg; got nuked.
Now featuring:
- more machines
- more blood
- more wretched snarling animal that beats within your ribcage
Fuck off minors.
Kinks+ below cut. RACK, all play. Adults only.
Mmph...that feels so good ... fuck, but we're both boys! This is so—
Oh uh, you wanted to tell me something? Yeah sure. You know um, that you can always be open with me. I won't judge.
You're actually a girl? Oh my god, I'm so happy for you baby. Thank you for trusting me and telling me. You know I'll support you every step of the w—mmph, oh my god you're so eager. Y-yeah, that's the spot. Fuck. But now that.. goddamnit, are we ... Are we hetslop now? Fuck...this is so wrong babe.......
Strapped down, operating table cold under your back, antiseptic acrid in your nose. The person above you snaps on latex gloves. They want this to be a clean operation, after all.
"I'll be taking your other kidney today."
Nothing in response but the sound of your ragged breathing in the cold air. You could scream, if you wanted. But your Doctor doesn't like it when you make noise anymore, so you suppress the panic at the back of your throat.
Harsh fingers prod at your arm, pressing down, finding your vein. A dull prick, before numbness spreads throughout your body. Your Doctor is merciful enough to remove some of your pain, even though you don't deserve it. They leave you conscious, though. Awake. Head propped up so you can watch Them work.
Their words cut through the drugs, warped. "You won't die right away, don't worry. I'll give you a few rounds of dialysis. You'll live long enough to recover some, so we'll be able to arrange another session. Your last one. Won't you like that?"
Even if you could respond, you wouldn't be able to muster the strength to say no. Your Doctor doesn't let you say no. You drool helplessly through your mask instead. The beeping of the heart monitor picks up though, and your Doctor takes this as acknowledgement enough.
They run Their gloved fingers over your stomach, so knotted with scar tissue that the skin is barely visible. "Last time," They say admonishingly, "you passed out too early. Be a stronger patient this time. Remember when I took your pancreas, and you stayed conscious long enough to see me suture you up? If not for the anaesthesia wearing off, you could've made it all the way through.
"I've trained you better since then though, haven't I. You do better with the pain now. You're a good patient, so hold on for me." Your Doctor pauses, unwrapping a scalpel and setting it on Their tray. "I shouldn't have taken your tongue so early. I liked when you tried to scream."
The corners of Their lips stretch into something akin to a smile. "That's why I'm terminating you soon, in case you were wondering. All these wordless grunts and cries..." They finish wiping your skin clean and mark where They're going to make the first incision. "It's grotesque. Really, I shouldn't have expected anything better."
They steady the blade, then press down. White hot pain explodes across your vision, a crest of cold metal splitting your flesh. You can't prevent the gutteral moan that's wrenched from your throat. Your Doctor sneers. "Exactly." Another cut. Another. Another. Another. "You're nothing but meat."
I'm not really into needles, but I appreciate how they let you get deeper into the flesh than a blade. There's something so sick about the almost-crunch of muscle, the way that the tip of the needle hesitates before piercing through. It's such a contrast too, from the soft fat layer just above it. The force that's needed to dig into the muscle really feels like you're being penetrated, violated in some intimate way. Not sexual, but viscerally crude in a way that makes me lighthearted nonetheless.
In other words—I want to make a guy do my shot, and watch the disgust on his face as he feels the different layers—dermis, fat, muscle—give way. It takes more pressure than you think, especially when your hands are shaking. I want him to be scared that it's hurting me, especially as he watches the needle sink millimeter by millimeter into my skin. And I want it to really hurt when he gets it in the wrong spot, and I make him try again in a different part of my leg, the guilt making him weak. Take that sick-shaking-cold feeling and internalize it as pleasure, not sure if the heavy breathing is from panic or arousal. I hope it feels like he's violating me.
Sometimes I think about being called snuff bait for the first time and how that genuinely changed me a little (lot). I am nothing but meat breathing moving pulsing. I'm sooo killable
Violence by proxy, pain removed; hand on skin on metal without feeling. There's a distant sensation of flesh on flesh, so foreign it might as well be steel on steel. All it is, in the end, is pressure.
Is it violence without feeling? Can violence be enacted without a party to invoke it? In a way, the subject invites violence onto itself. One can register sobs and cries and the hotness of skin that's been hurt beyond comfort, if there even is a One to register it. It sees the subject crying and cowering away. It sees the fear in their eyes.
Quell the feelings of disgust, of regret, of sickness. There is nothing to feel bad about, because there is nothing to feel.
It is just sensation.
Let there be violence enacted upon the subject. Let them bleed; let them bruise. To what end, it doesn't know. For what purpose, it can't derive. Yet it raises a hand, again and again. It strikes down. It feels flesh on flesh on steel. The subject screams their lungs ragged, writhing, shuddering. Let there be violence.
can dykes follow/interact
Dykes can do anything they want
(not guilt tripping you at all) it's gender affirming for me to fuck you actually. Yeah it gets rid of the dysphoria. You have to let me hit or else I'll get really insecure and stare at the wall silently until I no longer feel human. Don't say that's hot??? It's not it really isnt Please just let me fuck you in the ass
more sex should be violent
(the light goes out slowly in my eyes) no...I'm two months clean....I can't relapse now. (the light slowly comes back to me)...but it's okay if it's for sexual purposes (nodding sagely)
Every day I try to cling on to the last of my dignity and every fucking day it's eked away from me by my friends who go "who's a good puppy! You are!" and pet me even though I tell them I'm just a normal and actually very average to large dog I mean human
Listen here big boy. You're gonna be a man for daddy, right? Real men change their oil every six months or 5,000 miles whichever comes first and also rotate your tires every 5kish miles too like a good boy #forcemasc #trans #america
They got you??????????
Darn I loved your posts
The only reason I found out is one of your posts I was gonna reblog from my drafts came up as a deleted profile, I had to fucking hunt for you
I hope you dont get silenced again :(
Hi yes they got me sad face. My fault I guess for trying to post bush on side but I still don't think it was bad at all...
In any case I haven't tried very hard to refind any of my mutuals/advertise this blog so maybe it's time for me to fade away into obscurity. End of an era
Often I have fitful visions of beautiful women beating me up (a vision overtakes me) ahh! Ahhgh! Don't stop! Absolve me of my shame! Strip away my humanity and reduce me to meat! (the vision ends) and it's really quite disruptive
She likes when I put my thingy in her thing cuz we freaky like that
Sometimes I see hot transsexuals on the timeline and I get so overcome with lust and hope that I have to put my phone down for a while and just breathe