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@mvson-blog1
“Never hit me? Well – would you look at that, it looks like you do have some control, no? Hang on to that sliver of control and maybe it’ll help. Risperdal… right, how could I forget. That’s the medicine you’re avoiding taking? Why?”
"i doubt it. i'll probably end up punching the wall. first of all, it's an antipsychotic and i'm not psychotic, therefore i'm not taking it. besides, i refuse to let myself be altered by some drug. i don't need it."
“ well, that’s who you’re acting like; all you lack is the glittery skin. are you really cautioning me.. against you ? stop doing this, stop acting like some asshole trying to push me away! get it through your thick skull that im not going anywhere. you keep putting yourself down and it needs to stop. you don’t break anything or anyone. you haven’t broken me yet and hell if you can kiss someone and they’re still around you must be doing something right. ”
"this isn't about me putting myself down. i'm pushing you away for reasons that you won't understand. why can't you just accept that ?! i break people, chloe. get that through your thick skull. you don't know half of what i've done, so don't tell me that i haven't broken people before." the mention of their kiss caused mason to become silent. when he spoke again, his voice was lower and his eyes were fixated on the ground. "it's only a matter of time before something goes wrong."
“maybe that’s just me and my past, thinking that everyone leaves but i guess i should know better by now. you’ve never left before. i’m sorry i was all pushy before, i got really worried, i guess.. weird for me, but anyway, i’m sorry.”
"no, i-it's alright. you don't need to apologize; you were just concerned. i didn't mean to lash out at you like that i'm sorry."
My poor mother begged for a sheep, but raised a wolf.
Four Rhythms |
Michelle K.
(via
preakercrellin
)
“i don’t know what you’d do, either.” she teased, gently nudging his shoulder with her own. “we’ve known each other since we were in cribs, and we’ve been together practically EVERY week since. we’d probably go crazy without each other.”
"i'd probably be somewhere dead in an alley," he replied, the sound of laughter escaping from his lips along with words. "y'know, i don't really miss home, but i miss those days that we spent in our cribs. everything was easier then. the only fights that i got into were over superman action figures and when i would beat up boys who were mean to you on the playground."
“Jesus. Fuck. I never said you did. I mean, There are other ways to cope… I’ll google it. Just don’t go punching my face, you know how useful having these angelic features are.– What are the meds, anyways… antidepressants? Xanax? Viagra? All of the above?
"i've tried every coping mechanism possible so chances are the ones you find on google won't do any good. i'll put my hand through glass and onto every surface in this room, but i'll never hit you. you forgot one, risperdal. although most of them fall under the same broad category: antipsychotics."
“ i know you don’t, im just messing with you, mason. i would never allow you to hate me. god– you’re really sounding like edward cullen right now. you should know by now i never do things i should do. so look, i am NOT afraid of you and i will NEVER be afraid of you. you always talk about yourself like you’re some kind of monster, and you’re not. i don’t understand why you can’t see that? we all break things, we all hurt people. you’re a great guy, mason. ”
"oh come on, you had to compare me to the vampire ? oh i know that all too well, but you should really be careful. not everyone breaks things and risks hurting someone on a daily basis. it's different for me. most people have a sense of when to stop and when to calm down i don't. i'm not a great guy. i'm a decent human being at best, but definitely not a great guy."
“i realise that. fun fact, someone once told me to calm down so i stole their puppy for a few days because i was so pissed.”
"you stole their puppy ? i would've broken a vase or anything else that was fragile and nearby. although puppy theft is probably preferred over broken glass and potential injuries."
“better for who, mas? we’re supposed to stick together and half the time i’m terrified you’ll run off on your own without another word.”
"it's better for me, for you, for EVERYONE. there's a lot less collateral damage if you all just let me handle this on my own. i may leave for an hour or two to clear my head, but i'll always come back. why would you think that i would just leave you guys ?"
✉ ─ imessage to: vanessa.
vanessa: i still don't understand why they got into the fish business in the first place.
vanessa: okay fine, but only once okay??? mozzarella sticks shouldn't be eaten at mcdonalds.
vanessa: when they make sweet potato fries, come talk to me
mason: deal!!
mason: also mcdonalds is considering selling sweet potato fries so....
“duh, hes so cute! his name is snuggles for god sake, how cute is that. ouch, did you just say you hated me? and that’s why i’m a medicine, and i have side effects — but doesn’t everyone? it makes you different, you own who you are and you don’t let anyone change that. i think it’s brave of you to be who you are, not let some medicine hide that. hurt me? a rose has thorns yet people still love them. so why can’t you have some thorns?”
"i don't hate you, you know that. some people would say that not taking any medication is pretty damn stupid. but i'm not just some delicate flower, chloe. i'm a walking time bomb two very different things. you get pricked by a rose and you just get a few cuts. but when a time bomb explodes, chances are you're dead. that has to scare you, that SHOULD scare you."
“no, i know. it’s fine—really. you didn’t hurt me.” her head turned so that she was able to see him, shoulders lifting into a small shrug. “i just don’t want to see anything BAD to happen to you, that’s all.”
a hint of a smile covered his face as the corner of his mouth curled upward. "thanks vanessa. not just for looking out for me, but for everything." he turned his head to face her. "i don't know what i would do if you weren't here."
“no, you’re right, i don’t get it. why do you think i’m trying to understand? so i can help you? you don’t have to deal with everything on your own. come on, trust me. at least a little bit..”
"i do have to deal with this on my own, alright ? it's better if i do it that way. that's all you need to understand."
“Calm down, would you?”
"really ? if that was an attempt at trying to be funny then you really missed the mark."
✉ ─ imessage to: vanessa.
vanessa: mcdonalds should not be in the mozzerella stick business tbh
vanessa: i think i'll just stick to the fries
vanessa: they probably taste like plastic!!!
mason: but they're so cheap!
mason: mcdonalds shouldn't be in the fish business either yet they still sell filet-o-fish
mason: we're trying them at least once whether you like it or not
“i wasn’t trying to be in your way, okay? i’m only trying to help.. as we all are. we’re kind of, you know, all running together.. so maybe you ought to take some deep breaths, think about some hot chick naked or something and like, try talk to me like i’m a person?”
"just take a few breaths and all of this will go away, oh if only it was THAT fucking easy ! that's not how it works. you just don't get it none of you do."
“fine, whatever—you’re right.” her arms crossed over her chest, eyes fell to the floor. she didn’t want to FIGHT with him. it was best to just nod your head & go along with whatever he said, even if she didn’t agree with him.
just from her body language, mason was able to tell that vanessa was upset. a sigh escaped from his lips as he sat down next to her. "look, i'm sorry. whatever i said i-i didn't mean to hurt you."
