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@mxlouloute
HELLO! This is an independent & selective Dash Only RP blog for Dolores Haze Schiller from Vladimir Nabokov's LOLITA. This blog is primarily BOOK & HEADCANON based. Below you’ll find some helpful links that’ll assist you in interacting with this blog. Written by Darks, 26+.
RULES -- Character Interpretation , Interest Tracker ABOUT VERSES TAGS
𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦? 𝘯𝘰, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 ; 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦. “ 𝐨𝐡 𝐧𝐨, 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥. “ 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵. 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 ( 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 ) 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰, 𝘯𝘰𝘸-𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦. “ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 -- 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 ; 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬. “
"It's quite the doozy." she replied in the same tone. She watched as the ashes fell onto the table, a few embers bouncing with each tap.
She wondered how long it would take for his pocket to catch fire. that would be something to see, wouldn't it?
" we got Pancakes with apple sauce or preserves with a side of eggs for two dollars ten, or the jelly omelet with a side of french toast for a dollar sixty five. Butter is limited though, but we got apricot jam if you don't want syrup with it."
♡ ⸻ @mxlouloute ,
𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴, 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 ; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦. 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘚𝘔𝘖𝘒𝘌𝘙, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 -- 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩? 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨. “ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰'𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 -- 𝐢'𝐦 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞. “ 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮. “ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞? “
"You're in the nonsmoking section, or whatever." She said with her eyes locked on her notepad. "Can you move over two booths? then you can go through the whole pack for all I care."
She tapped the notepad with her pen before looking up at him, "Can't even tell you about the special if you keep that lit here. Boss'll kick you out. An' it's real good today, or whatever."
She really didn't want him to give her any guff about this. She figured he wouldn't tip as it was just because she was the one who had to tell him to move.
"Nah, tryin' to quit." she lied. She'd already gone through a pack and a half this morning. She'd probably go buy another after her shift.
@gowesten (DICK)
"But it's a triangle." she said handing him the square before going back to holding the ladder steady for him, " what do you need that thing for up there anyway? House ain't level, or whatever?"
She still wanted to be helpful, even if she didn't know what half the tools he asked her to hand him were for.
@gowesten (DICK)
"Okay." she started fidgeting where she stood. " Okay, uh,..."
She'd gotten a recipe out of the newspaper. Sure, she could live off of cottage cheese and a fruit plate, sandwiches, and icebox cakes, but even she had to admit she couldn't be feeding her fiancé the same combination of cold foods. She had to get over her anxieties about the oven.
She'd gone through half a box of cigarettes while she did everything she could without the stove.
"The casserole just gotta go in the oven." She mumbled, knowing full well the oven needed to be on first. " Dick I can't. I'm gonna burn your house down, or whatever." she started, " and we ain't even sure this is going to be half good."
She didn't want to fail ( or start a housefire again), but she did want to do something nice for him.
I WAS SURE that when finally he would open his mouth, he would say (slightly shaking his head): “ Aw, she’s A SWELL KID, Mr. H. SHE SURE IS. And she’s going to make A SWELL MOTHER.” He opened his mouth–And took a sip of beer. // Penned by Darks.
I’m inclined to think Dolores has a Bostonian accent. Noted this because a quick google search of Ramsdale, New England that isn’t related to the book brings forth Ramsdell Public Library in Great Barrington, Massachusetts.
HH drives 40 miles to Parkington before abducting Dolores and then drives to another state( illustrated as a four hour drive) to get to Camp Q. from there they go to Briceton, Connecticut This is described as 100 miles from Camp Q. I’m thoroughly confused on the books directions ( and noted that’s probably the point, given the unreliable creepy narrator) but , say we have a total of 160 mile at most, Connecticut to Massachusetts falls within that radius.
@blutweiss (CARRIE)
The sound and the sparks had caused Dolores to scream. She'd been sitting at the kitchen table with her friend ( at least Dolly thought they were friends. She hoped they were anyway.) When the light bulb in the lamp above their heads burst. The last time there had been any noise and any kind of spark, the stove had actively been on fire.
" Geez oh man." Dolores mumbled, her other hand still holding onto Carrie's. "That ain't never happened before," she breathed in deep her eyes fixed on the back door as if she might see those sparks turn into flames ( of which there were none), " or whatever. " she frowned.
She turned briefly, calling out for her husband before she realized she still had Carrie's hand. " oh, sorry, sunshine. You ever had somethin' like that happen? Son of a gun! You okay? Didn't want you to get burned? I ain't got no glass on me, huh? You ain't got none what I can see," she sighed ." or whatever."
dolores solidarity
you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.
op are you okay
yes im married to her now
this is the kind of quality content I expect from the internet
“I was observing her closely as I talked, and after a while I began to get the impression that she was not, in fact, quite so merry and smiling a girl as I had been led to believe at first. She seemed to be coiled in herself, as though with a secret she was jealously guarding. The deep-blue eyes moved too quickly about the room, never settling or resting on one thing for more than a moment; and over all her face, though so faint that they might not even have been there, those small downward lines of sorrow.”
— Roald Dahl, Someone Like You
What’s up, Doll?
In Catholic school, as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black I held my tongue as she told me "Son, fear is the heart of love, “ so I never went back
Richard ‘Dick’ Schiller from Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita
An exploration in overcoming trauma, healing through shared community, and found family
He was careful to keep steady as she shuffled and rambled. "Dolores. I'm not going to take you on the bike with you pregnant," He said firmly. "You're scared. I get that but he ain't coming back. You're safe. You're okay."
He sat with her awhile repeating that to her over and over even though he was scared too. She reminded him so much of some of the girls at St. Joseph. The same wild eyed fear when this or that priest or nun walked by. Most of the boys at St. Joseph's had been hurt too but they usually carried the pain different.
It ate at Dick that he kept finding the same pain he'd found in there, out here. It made the world feel so small and ugly. Like the fruit of Eden was covered in worms. "Even if we went we wouldn't have anywhere to stay. We won't be here much longer. It's okay."
"Can you prove that?" She asked quietly, her voice less than a whisper, " I didn't give him our address. Honest."
she squeezed his hands as she tried to focus on his voice. Dick was too good to her. She felt a pit deep within her stomach, like a steel ball might raise sky high and then sudden drop-- and then Dick would be gone.
She couldn't do it without him. She didn't want to.
"I don't want you to miss that job."
He sat down with her, suddenly guilty for feeling so irritated with everything. It wasn't her fault her stepfather was crazy. He reached to take her hand in his, trying to stop the shaking. "He scare you that bad, Dolores?" He asked quietly.
He got up when the shaking got worse, knelt in front of where she was sitting and putting his hands on her thighs. "It's alright, Doll. Its alright," He said as soothingly as he could. "You're going to be alright and we'll take that pretty baby of ours with us to Alaska."
'We should go." the reaction had been faster than the way her knee jerked when he put his hands on them. She dropped her cigarettes without a care to finish her task in trying to smoke one, her hands lacing in his life a nun entering prayer. it had only been a short time before that He had put his hands on her knees. He had said things that she felt she thought she was far away from. Would there always be bargaining? would there always be that fragile feeling of being twelve all over again?
Whatever high she had been riding on to get through the afternoon with Him there was fizzling out. She didn't like that person she had been while He was here. She didn't like the loud voice she had used with Dick as if she would never get the chance for such volume again. She didn't like how it made a smile all bright and toothy stamp itself across her face.
"There's gas in the bike, or whatever. We leave now, we'd be there. " Her knuckles had gone white from the way she held his hands. She wasn't about to let go. "Let's go."
She was terrified. He came, uninvited, with much more than she'd asked for, with words she didn't not want, and hands reaching as soon as they were able. She couldn't see that he was a balding, fat, small and an old man now. She stood taller than him. She wasn't what he wanted anymore as much as he tried to force that on her.
"Baby can be born in Alaska." the baby would be here sooner than they would get there. "Our little boy needs the great out doors or whatever." she shook his hands in hers, holding on as tight as she could, pleading they could just take the cash and run.
dolores haze.
“Sure thing.” Dolores said with a soft nod. Something was definitely off. “ Can’t force you out while you’re still workin’ on your stuff , or whatever.” She remembered not having any money. She remembered that first walk out on her own.
Being on her own hadn’t been the first step to being free. There had been other bad choices along the way. Desperation made a person do things they normally wouldn’t do. Like stealing a swing coat off a sleeping lady on the bus, or lying about her age just to get a job washing dishes.
She liked this town. In this town she could be honest. She still had the coat though. It was warm. “ Think you dropped this.” Dolores lied pulling a quarter from her pocket and sliding it across the counter. She’d always kept her tips on her, “you’re a payin’ customer after all. can sit here till we shut off the lights.”
she stares down at it, before shaking her head. until johanna realizes what is meant by the quarter. she comes from a big house. she should be able to afford her own drink. it’s a rule johanna understands though. if she has money on her person, she might be able to take off with only a few dollars. that was too much.
❝ i’m paying you back. ❞ once she found a way to get access to twenty-five cents and thought of a way to sneak it out. ❝ thank you. ❞ usually, johanna isn’t as easygoing when it comes to being offered help. heaven knows she gave anthony a difficult time even when he offered to her library books part of the way back to the house. the library closed early today and she can’t go back. johanna shyly slides the coin back across the counter as if to pay. it doesn’t matter. she’ll pay the girl back anyway.
fingers drum quietly against the counter. ❝ how young do you think is too young to be engaged? ❞ perhaps, age doesn’t have anything to do with it. johanna wouldn’t be against the idea of being engaged to anthony – but he is nearly her same age. she looks up, unwilling to explain the circumstance, but interested in the answer.
"Sure you are." Dolores said with a small smirk. She'd take the quarter when the girl was done. " what'cha having?"
The response wasn't what Dolores expected. it left a lot of blanks to be filled. her own experience getting married had been more of an anxiety than a dream.
She was surprised Dick hadn't taken back his 'would you.' She'd wanted to get married, that much was true, but there were things she needed to sort out with herself first.
"I'm married." she said a bit quieter. they'd gotten engaged "been married for a bit." She shifted where she stood. She'd met Dick when she was seventeen and he was nineteen. They didn't even begin to talk about getting married until a year later. Even then, She'd made him wait for a while after he'd asked. In the end it had been worth it.
@cannotfly
@mxlouloute
As soon as he left, Dick got up and grabbed another beer from the fridge, his face unreadable but he slammed the fridge door shut afterwards. He knew very little about Dolores' stepfather but all few facts he hated. He couldn't even bring himself to speak to the oldd bastard. Though Dolores was right, tthe creep sure loved to hear himself talk.
"Why was he here?" He finally asked trying not to sound angry. He wasn't mad at her. Butt he was mad about having him in his house.
She sat at the kitchen table with that envelope crushed against her chest. She just couldn't think of any other way they'd make it.
She didn't realize she was shaking.
"We're going to Alaska. " was all that she said. she set the envelope on the table. " I got us enough."
There it was. Everything her mother had left her, the deed to her old home and a few extra crumpled bills he had given to her in the same breath he berated and belittled her for growing up.
His Lolita, his girl. his his his. Dolores wasn't that anymore. She was herself, she belonged to no one. For the first time in her life, she told him no.
She was free.
"i didn't leave him an address. just sent general post." Still, instead of sending money to the post office he had found their house. " he'd tried to leave that damn car here with us too." She scrunched her nose, trying to dig through her pockets for her cigarettes. She was shaking worse now. She hated that car. She could barely pull the cigarette from the box.
@mxlouloute
"You need me to pull over?" Dick asked as he and Dolores trudged down the highway. He'd asked that multiple times now since they left, constantly fussing over her and the new baby.
"i told you I ain't peein' on the side a the road." She snapped back, but couldn't help but fidget in her seat. " maybe we can find a place?"
