As i grow up i reflect on my past more! Today i was in bed trying to find sleep when i was thinking about my past and how i hate all my "friends"that put me down! To them it was nothing! They felt innocent because i never said anything, i was the nice one. But now i see it did affect me! In the French education system when you reach grade 10 you have to select a way. And they are divided in 3 major ones, Literature, Economics and Scientifique. L,ES and S. It's cool you know but the thing is that people usually think that S is the best and L is the "worst"so they judge your smartness on this! I remember going to class to learn and having the kids from S yelling at us saying that we sucked because we weren't good enough to go in S . I used to get so mad at them because i could've went in S if i worked hard enough but i chose not to because to me it was to hard and i rather finish my school years with a good grade in a easier program than a shitty one in S (like most of the ones that made fun of me) The problem is that when they did that it made me feel bad about myself and that affected my self esteem and self worth. I never really cared about school, it always felt and sounded boring to me, i was more interested in learning fun facts about the world and it's inhabitants than calculating the size of a shoe box. I always knew and thought i wasn't school smart but street smart, and i hated these people because i wasn't "smart" to them because i didn't know the same shitty things. I guess i was to nice because i should've just punched a couple of those people "how you like me now?". But lately i've checked up on these "smarter " kids and i swear i feel bad for them! They live a stupid life where all they do is party and get black out drunk and puke everywhere! I'm happy i wasn't "smart" like them if this is what i get out of it! Because maybe i won't be rich but at least i will be happy and i will see everything i want to see! " numbers and never ending so if you base your happiness on them you will never reach your goal" All i'm trying to say is that i hate these people and i'm glad i grew up the way i did and fuck you for thinking i was less than what i am! AWESOME !
