life has been beating me up pretty badly, but i thought iâd drop in because it was exoâs 10th anniversary yesterday! iâve been tearing up while listening to their old songs because wow, even after a decade, they still hold a special place in my heart. i have so many precious memories because of these very special boys.
i remember staying up late as a teenager, hiding under the covers as i watched interview after interview until i couldnât keep my eyes open any longer. i remember rushing home after school every week to watch the latest episode of their variety shows. i still vividly remember my heart fluttering as i waited until it was midnight so i could watch their new music videos. and thanks to my love for exo, iâve also had the chance to meet so many incredible people online and in real life who iâve shared these moments with.
if you ask what exo means to me, this is the only way i could put it- exo was my first love! growing up was hard, but having these boys in my life made it a little easier. so thank you to these very hardworking boys for never giving up, for their incredible talents, for their charming personalities, for simply existing and filling my teenage years with so much happiness.
happy happy anniversary to the boys i love most in the world! <3
Ahhh the thought that Promise is incomplete is always sitting in the back of my mind! Iâve been looking through older chapters and Iâve been digging through my old folders to find the ideas I scribbled down for Promise, and I really really want to try to complete it (though it has been quite a while). Though it may be difficult and could take some time, I will try!
And thank you for continuing to show interest in Promise after all this time <3
Welcome back!! I've been going through old writing blogs I used to follow, and I'm so pleasantly surprised that you've come back !! I hope you're able to find your love for writing again and I'm excited to see what you have in store :)
Hello and thank you!
It actually makes me tear up (and feel a little bashful haha) when I receive messages from people whoâve read my older stories. I am definitely getting back into writing, and Iâm also excited to begin sharing my writing with the world once more in one way or another.
Hello to the void and anyone who may come across this,
Things have been pretty turbulent for everyone these past several months, and being back at home in the same room where I used to write fics and watch Exo videos under the covers until 2:00 a.m suddenly reminded me of this blog. I realized itâs been a few years since I last checked it out, and Iâm filled with so much nostalgia (and a little bit of embarrassment) looking back at my past posts.
My life is so much different now than when I was an angsty teen writing angsty stories. Iâm currently pursuing that Higher Educationâ˘, but I donât necessarily have my life or career figured out yet. I havenât written as much, and I canât tell you how much I miss writing. I bet my teenage self would be heartbroken to hear that Iâve stopped writing for the past few years. But I still very much like Exo, I guess that will never change.
Though Iâve been making excuses after excuses to make myself feel better about not writing as much, Iâm finally getting back into it. Iâm taking an actual writing course, Iâm finally writing short stories again, and it feels good. Iâm not sure what this post is supposed to be or whether it has an actual purpose. I think Iâve just gotten old and enjoy looking back on all the things I did during my teenage years and the relationships I made.
So hello to all friends and readers, new and old. May this new year (and all years to come) treat you with nothing but gentleness and kindness.
sorry this isnt an ask!! but i just needed to say how much i love âyour nameâ. when i first went on tumblr maybe a year ago, i remember coming across that scenario and when i read it i fell in love with it. but i forgot the name of it and who wrote it, so i was searching for a long time until i found it today. my friend linked me one of your other stories: kai, chanyeol and oc one!! i loved that one too!!! which is how i found my fave scenario of all time. thank you so much ! have a good day~ đ
hello, my dear anon!
itâs actually been quite a while since iâve written scenarios, so itâs a pleasant surprise to see there are still readers who love my older scenarios, hehe <3
thank you for loving my writing and for taking the time to send me such a sweet message, itâs really made my day! though iâm not sure if iâll write more scenarios in the future, i wonât give up and iâll keep trying, knowing i have lovely supporters like you!
wow i just flew through Promise, i loved it sooo much. my heart flutters whenever baekhyun is kind to hwayoung but doesnt want it to show, I hope you continue it!!!
i know this is ridiculously late, but thank you thank you thank you
i love hearing how you all feel about the characters, and it really makes me feel as if my story is something thatâs alive and breathing and not just some words thrown together⌠i canât thank you enough for wanting to read more and supporting âpromiseâ until now <3
alright since the olympics are over, iâll finally try to get to everyoneâs asks and start writing once more (even though i should be studying for exams haha)
You can do it!!! I'm in the middle of a truckload of essays as well. And I believe in us! Let's listen to good music and eat brownies when we're done. We deserve it đ ~ Hana
thank you so much for the sweet message omg ;~;
after a week filled with disappointment and dealing with classes once more, it made me so touched to just read thisâŚ
and yes, we can do it! iâm working hard to meet some deadlines, and i wish the best for you as well! (and brownies sound so good iâm gonna save up so i can buy some sweets when i party after turning everything in haha)Â <3
when itâs been less than a week into the new year and you have essays to write for university programs, a speech to work on for a competition, and eight tests to study for đ
Hi writer-nim~ i can't express with words how much i really love reading Promise. the drama is literally so intense and you stick to the plot so well it always has me at the edge of my rolling chair. the christmas special was so cute and fluffy! random question; does the christmas special take place after or before part 14? anyways i hope you have a happy new year! please take care of yourself and thanks for sharing your writing with us! also sorry for the unnecessary amount of exclamation marks
hello my dear anon!
thank you thank you thank you for loving âpromise,â and i swear, i will continue to bring great chapters to you this new year! i hope youâre looking forward to the rest of the story <3
and the christmas special takes place waaay before chapter 14 (it doesnât really affect the storyline, so donât worry if you think youâre missing any important points in the plot), probably after chapter 7 or chapter 8 ^^
Hi there! This isnt an ask so im sorry about that. But i just really want to tell you that your Peter Pan story is amazing. I applaud you and your amazing brain to think of such a beautiful story. It made me cry and your message really touched my heart. Love is truly beautiful and tragic and thatâs when it matters the most. Im sorry for my drama haha. I look forward to your future stories and i can only wish that one day, i can become a writer just like you. â¤ď¸
no need to feel sorry, your message has absolutely made my day <3
i want to thank you so much for reading and showing your love for âpeter panâ since it really is one of my personal favorites and it contains feelings that i think resonate deeply with me⌠itâs a story that i treasure and wrote with a sincere heart, so it means more than anything that you love the beauty and emotions of the scenario!
i hope this new year is great for you anon, and donât worry, i know you have the potential to write something amazing!
omg the christmas special was so so so cute <3 <3 <3 thank you for taking the time to do a plus, it was amazing <3 I love the fact that Baek is so grumpy but soft for Hwayoung
thank you my dear anon!
nothing makes me happier than to hear how youâre loving the christmas special and baekhyunâs soft (yet still grumpy) side when heâs with hwayoung hehe
it was a pleasure to write something cute for my readers, especially since you guys put up with my late updates and extremely long chapters <3
Hi writer-nim, Sorry for the late reply but wow, you really replied to me! Thanks for the advice âstarstruckâ anyway, I've only posted on AsianFanFics and my username is Love-Myself-Love-You. Please don't judge the crappiness too hard đ Again, thank you again for actually replying!
it was no problem at all! <3
i really appreciate all my readers and fellow writers, so it makes me glad that i could at least give you advice or help out with something! iâll be sure to check your works out, and i hope you feel free to ask me questions or send me messages whenever!
Note: This is to thank you all and wish you a Merry Christmas! I apologize deeply for no longer writing scenarios and doing a crappy job updating this fic regularly, but sharing my writing and hearing your feedback really keeps me going! Thank you to all my lovely followers and readers! (And this is not a crucial chapter of the story with important information, itâs just something that happened that isnât necessary for the plot, haha).
~~
Itâs when Chanyeol puts out the âtreeâ that Baekhyun knows itâs almost Christmas.
While it may sound festive, Baekhyun could care less about the âtree,â which is in reality a potted spiny shrub that Chanyeol buys for a few bucks from some shady store and decorates poorly with cheap, plastic ornaments. It stands just a few feet tall in the open room of the Exo Credit Union where Baekhyunâs men hold their annual Christmas party, cheap ornaments gleaming in the light. Baekhyunâs mind recoils at the sight of the shrub and its ornaments into a state of disgust as heâs reminded of his least favorite holiday.
Christmas.
Byun Baekhyun hates Christmas.
When Baekhyun thinks of Christmas, heâs reminded of cold winter nights spent alone at the orphanage as a child, the other children never really wanting to talk to him. He never had a family to share presents with, and the festive party held by his men each year manages to only perturb him further.
Itâs only a few days from Christmas Eve that he arrives back at the office from a long day of collecting loans with Jongin that he passes by the room, door hanging ajar. He hears loud clamor and sees flashes of color from the slight crevice and decides to poke his head inside.
âWhat the hell is going on inside here?â he asks.
He sees Chanyeol and Jongdae moving around pots of poinsettias and Jongin hanging red ribbon along the wall as several other men are bent over at the table with the shrub, hands busy writing onto small pieces of paper.
âWeâre getting ready for the Christmas party,â Chanyeol beams, eliciting a sigh from Baekhyunâs cold lips.
His men are surprisingly innocent and quite immature at heart, despite their violent tendencies and dangerous jobs. He feels that they could be leading better lives with their families if not for their difficult circumstances.
âWell, you go ahead and do that,â Baekhyun mumbles, before stepping towards the door. âI wonât be joining this year either.â
âHey, boss,â Jongdae whines, âbefore you go, you should at least write down your Christmas wish.â
Baekhyun whirls around on his heels at the door, asking, âYou want me to do what?â
Jongdae points to the others huddled at the table with stocky pieces of paper.
âWeâre all writing down our Christmas wishes onto those pieces of paper and folding them so we can put them under the tree,â Chanyeol explains. âSince we donât really exchange presents, we thought itâd be nice if we put something else under the tree. Your wish may come true, you know.â
âIâm not interested,â Baekhyun grumbles.
He finds himself in the familiar chair in his dark office, eyes tracing the lights through the large clear panels of glass of the windows while his fingers bring a cigarette to his lips. He sees the reds and greens of Christmas decor and the dazzling lights peeking out through heavy blankets of snow.
Baekhyun lets out a sigh.
How he hates Christmas.
~~
A few days later, Baekhyun is passing by the room for the Christmas party once more, his attention caught by a young girlâs voice as she asks, âWhat is that?â
Baekhyun canât help but take a few steps back and tilt his head so heâs looking through the slightly open door.
âItâs our Christmas tree, princess,â Chanyeol answers, rolling his eyes. âMaybe you could afford one, but weâre not rich like you. This is all we can afford.â
âI didnât mean it that way,â Hwayoung sighs. âYou couldâve bought a smaller tree thatâs fake, you know. Or you couldâve bought one of those miniature trees that are already decorated.â
âFake trees are nasty, princess,â Chanyeol huffs. âYou donât understand the importance of having a living plant. Not to mention, thereâs no fun in buying one thatâs already decorated.â
Itâs after long minutes of Chanyeol ranting to Hwayoung about the philosophy behind collectively decorating a tree as a family that he finally loses his breath, voice rasping, âAnyways, do you want to write your Christmas wish on a piece of paper and leave it under the tree like everyone else?â
âSure,â Hwayoung shrugs.
Itâs in that moment that a thought strikes Baekhyunâs reeling mind.
Is there something that Hwayoung wants for Christmas?
While Baekhyun hates to admit it, he realizes that his thoughts have been captivated by the young girl, something stirring softly in his heart when he thinks about her. He doesnât want to articulate his feelings, afraid that his gentle sentiments would soften his cold facade, but somewhere in his mind, he knows that heâs begun to feel a deep affection for Hwayoung.
And this affection turns to panic once Baekhyun realizes that there may be something that Hwayoung wants.
And his yearning heart is telling him that he needs to find out.
Because he wants Hwayoung to be happy.
~~
Itâs at night that everyone else has left the building, and Baekhyun carefully checks his surroundings before sneaking out of his office. His lone steps echo loudly in the dark halls, the door to the room for the party creaking loudly as Baekhyun pushes it open.
He turns on the light before walking towards Chanyeolâs beloved shrub, fingers carefully prying open the folded cards, eyes scanning through the terrible handwriting of each one before folding them and placing them back on the table. Irritation causes his fingers to hasten as he reads some of the most ridiculous wishes.
Despite going through several, a large pile remains, Hwayoungâs swooping handwriting still nowhere to be found.
âWhen the hell did I hire so many men?â Baekhyun hisses under his breath when he noticies just how many are left.
Itâs as he goes through them that he realizes his attempt to find Hwayoungâs wish is futile, that he could have already dismissed it and thrown it into the pile with the other ones he had opened.
Disappointment fills Baekhyunâs tired mind.
Heâs going to have to buy her something, something that he needs to think of on his own.
As heâs about to leave, his eyes travel to the marker and blank pieces of paper on the other end of the table. Itâs before he can go that his hands naturally reach for the marker, lips moving nervously as he recites the wish that he writes on the piece of paper before him.
Despite his great loathe for Christmas, he must admit, thereâs something this year that he cares deeply about.
~~
Baekhyun finds himself standing on one of the cityâs most popular streets, lined with restaurants and cramped stores. He nearly gags at the swarms of couples that he sees, but he has no time to revel in disgust with Christmas only two days away.
He begins walking uncertainly, feet already cold from the icy sidewalk and embarrassment painting his cheeks red.
It had been a nightmare buying a necklace for Hwayoungâs birthday, even with the help of Chanyeol and Jongdae.
How is he going to buy something for Hwayoung alone?
Itâs as heâs squinting to make out the display in a window that heâs startled by a familiar voice. Baekhyunâs head whips to its direction, his body tensing when he recognizes Hwayoung walking out of a store, a bag in her hand.
What the hell is she doing here?
Baekhyun knows the fluster and embarrassment will overwhelm him if Hwayoung happens to find him shopping for a gift, and he finds himself walking into some random cafe. He canât risk having the young girl find out that heâs out getting a Christmas gift for her, and he gets shudders just thinking about Chanyeol and the others teasing him once they find out.
After all, mafia bosses like him arenât supposed to do Christmas shopping.
Heâs supposed to be a cold, emotionless man with a steel heart.
Not some grown man whoâs head over heels for a girl younger than him and finds himself doing some casual Christmas shopping.
Baekhyunâs panicked mind is snapped out its anxious daze when an irritated barista yells, âSir, are you ordering something or not?â
âWell,â Baekhyun splutters, fingers rummaging through pocket after pocket on his coat until they come across his worn wallet. âJust give me a latte.â
âName?â
âBaekhyun.â
Baekhyun stands in the corner of the cafe, eyes nervously glancing between the phone in his hand and the window, scanning over the crowd to see if Hwayoung is still near. He finds it odd that Hwayoung is nowhere to be seen though he had just witnessed the girl coming out of a store a few minutes ago.
Yet the blood is drained from his face when he hears, âCan I get your name?â
âHwayoung.â
Baekhyunâs mind reels with surprise and embarrassment when he recognizes the girl at the counter. He whirls around on his heels so heâs facing the wall, his fingers coming up to pull up his collar until heâs sure his nose and mouth are masked.
Shit.
Why did she have to come to this cafe?
Baekhyun thinks hiding from Hwayoung is enough, until he notices his drink being made and a barista with a shrill voice about to yell his name across the room.
âLatte for Bae-â
âFuck!â Baekhyun yells, interrupting the barista moments before she can complete her sentence. Silence falls over the cafe as customers look at him oddly. A dark crimson paints his cheeks as his voice, muffled by his collar, meekly mumbles, âI mean, thanks.â
Baekhyun swipes the drink from the baristaâs rough fingers before dashing through the crowd and out the cafe. He turns back once, noticing that Hwayoung looks around with confusion and maybe even recognition of the gruff voice cursing.
âThat was close,â Baekhyun puffs, his cold breath immediately warmed by the hot latte.
Heâs going to have to find a gift somewhere else.
~~
Christmas Day.
Baekhyun sits alone in his office, fingers carefully opening one of the drawers to reveal the gift he had gotten. A polaroid camera, neatly wrapped and resting soundlessly in his drawer.
The sound of Baekhyunâs heart pounding in anticipation is interrupted by loud clamor outside his office, to which he slams the drawer shut immediately.
He would give Hwayoung his gift in the evening.
He steps outside, Jongin in a Santa hat greeting him with a jolly smirk, before noticing Hwayoung plodding down the hall with something in her hands. Her head tilts slowly upward, her clear eyes meeting Baekhyunâs.
âDo you know where Chanyeol is?â Hwayoung asks. âHe left his Santa hat in the lobby.â
âI think he and the others are setting up for the party later today,â Baekhyun answers indifferently. âWhatâs that?â
âThis?â Hwayoung smiles, holding up the box. Her fingers pry open the top, revealing a polaroid camera. âJongdae, Jongin, Chanyeol, and the others all saved up and bought this together as a gift for me. Pretty neat, right?â
Baekhyunâs eyes turn dark with anger, his rigid lips morphing into a menacing frown.
Fuck them all, Baekhyun thinks.
âAre you going to the Christmas party?â Hwayoung asks.
âNo,â Baekhyun spits, bitterness evident in his low voice. âI hate Christmas.â
Itâs without sparing another glance at the girl that Baekhyun turns and leaves.
It had been a terrible idea to get her a gift in the first place.
~~
Night falls over the city with a lush velvet sky and sparkles of glittering snow reflecting the stars peppered in the sky above. The stillness of the air is suddenly filled with silver scrolls and a pungent scent as Baekhyun lights a cigarette, probably the tenth one of the day.
He walks far from the Exo Credit Union building, the faint echo of Christmas cheer and thunderous laughter still audible even after walking far down the frosted streets. Though the cold hair bites at his cheeks and the snow crunches uncomfortably beneath his cold feet, Baekhyun refuses to go back.
He hates Christmas even more, now that his first attempt to give a Christmas gift has failed.
He expects to be alone, until he hears a heavy sigh, his eyes making out the outline of a solitude figure on a bench.
âPrincess?â Baekhyun asks.
The girl looks up from the ground, a downcast expression marring her soft features.
âOh, youâre out here,â Hwayoung mumbles, her voice swathed in gloom.
âI thought you were at the party,â Baekhyun says, kicking some snow as he steps toward the girl. âDid something happen?â
âNo, itâs just something stupid,â Hwayoung exhales, forcing a smile. âItâs just, I like to do everything on my own and I never bothered my dad for anything. But Christmas was one of the few days where I didnât have to worry about anything and I could spend time with my dad as family. We had some Christmas traditions of our own, and Iâm just sad heâs not here with me this year. Even if he had business trips, Christmas was the one day he made sure to leave open for us.â
âIs that all?â Baekhyun asks.
âWell, I always bought a gift for my dad and other people I care about,â Hwayoung explains. âThereâs someone I wanted to buy a gift for this year, but something happened to the gift. Not to mention, that person was in a bad mood earlier today, so I feel bad about not being able to give them something for Christmas.â
âIâm sure that person, whoever it is, isnât mad at you,â Baekhyun says consolingly. âSomething else couldâve put them in a bad mood. Not to mention, if itâs about the gift, then Iâm sure theyâll be understanding.â
âYou really think so?â Hwayoung asks.
âIâm positive, princess,â Baekhyun says, his lips pulling up in an awkward, crooked smile. âBut why donât you want to go to the party?â
âWell,â Hwayoung sighs. âChanyeol, Jongdae, and the others, even if they do strange or violent things, they always look out for me. Sometimes I feel Iâm a bother to them. Someone young and immature like me is only going to ruin their fun. I wonder if sometimes they donât want me to be around.â
âListen,â Baekhyun remarks, sighing deeply. âYou probably have more maturity than everyone in that room combined. Also, you are not a bother to anyone. If anything, youâve helped these guys by doing small tasks and treating their wounds. Your smile makes everyone happy, princess, and I can tell you for sure, weâre all very lucky to have you around.â
A small smile plays on her lips, her expression of glee immediately replaced with one of surprise when she notices that Baekhyunâs hand is outstretched.
âCome on, princess,â Baekhyun sighs. âIâm not leaving you out here alone on Christmas day. Iâll walk you back.â
Hwayoungâs cold fingers slowly reach out, until they come in contact with Baekhyunâs warm palm. Sheâs propped up onto her feet, Baekhyunâs warm hands wrapping around her smaller ones, the crunching of snow and shaky breaths weaving into a soft melody that pleases Hwayoungâs ears.
âI wrote down my Christmas wish and put it under the tree,â Hwayoung smiles, âand it really did come true.â
âWhat was your wish?â
âTo not be alone on Christmas.â
Silence falls upon the two as they continue walking, the loud clamor becoming louder with each step.
âIâm really happy,â Hwayoung says. âEven though you claim to be a jerk, your words made me feel a lot better.â
âI guess I can say my Christmas wish came true as well,â Baekhyun hums.
âWhat did you write?â
âItâs a secret.â
Hwayoung pouts, and warmth spills into Baekhyunâs heart when he sees her cute expression.
âBy the way,â Hwayoung asks, âwere you at a cafe a couple of days ago?â
âNo,â Baekhyun immediately splutters, âI was at the office all day.â
âI guess it was someone else then,â Hwayoung laughs.
That was close, Baekhyun thinks.
~~
âBoth the boss and princess are here!â
The room bursts into cheer as the two figures walk in, sprinkled with snow and looking forward with embarrassment.
âBoss, youâre actually joining our party this year,â Chanyeol cheers. âWhat did the princess say to get you to come?â
âShe didnât make me come,â Baekhyun grumbles. âI came on my own, but Iâm not doing anything crazy so donât bother me.â
Baekhyun walks over and plops down on the couch, a Santa hat placed on his messy hair as his men offer him strange drinks and what seems to be slices of cake. Baekhyun takes a can of beer, his eyes following Hwayoung as she laughs at Chanyeolâs jokes and shows excitement when offered a piece of cake.
Though he doesnât do anything at the party, Baekhyun is satisfied knowing Hwayoung is having a good time.
~~
Itâs after the party is done that swarms of bodies leave the room.
Baekhyun is walking down to his office, when he feels a tug on his sleeve. He turns around, surprised to find Hwayoung standing behind him, a small gift in her hands.
The building is quiet, save for Hwayoungâs nervous breaths, as she murmurs, âThat person I was talking about before is you. I got you this, but it ended up breaking almost as soon as I got it yesterday. Iâm sorry, and Iâll get you something better for your birthday.â
Itâs before Baekhyun can even thank the girl that she runs away, leaving nothing but emotions that leave Baekhyunâs heart fluttering.
He removes the lid of the box with a shiny ribbon, revealing a watch with a cracked face.
Baekhyun chuckles.
He doesnât need anything else from Hwayoung since the wish that he had written down had already come true.
