So this a response of my crazy emotional feelings from reading your Tumblr and from this past summer. I’m not a writer like you so please bear with me lol. I feel like you’ve been honest with me and I should be completely honest with you. This summer up till now has been amazing, it’s what I wanted SO badly for us last summer. It’s felt like old times again but a part of me is still scared and nervous about moving forward. I saw your old Tumblr and the posts from when we were together to that last one Our Story. You deleted it now but I saw that you were contemplating leaving me for THAT piece of shit no good stoner hoe “pretty face” bitch (I don’t think you understand how much I can’t stand that person). THAT hurt so much to read but deep down I already knew that last year and confirming my doubts and everyone else’s. I tried so hard from your birthday on to try to get over it and forgive you and I did eventually. Moving forward after we broke up, I was broken. Like heartbroken to the max like I’ve never felt before and seeing you move on to her so fast was a slap in the face. No, you may not have loved me but I did love you and honestly, there are no words to describe what that felt like being betrayed like that. I cried myself to sleep, during lunch in my car like the loner I was lol, and cried looking at your snapchats with the one person you told me not to worry about. I cried when I found out she came down here with you. She came in your car in the seat I sat in when we used to be together. She came and slept in your bed with you where I used to sleep. And this part kills me, absolutely stabs my heart. I hoped that you hadn’t slept together but when we talked on the phone and you confirmed it, I ugly cried that night. And reading your Tumblr confirmed it because who else would call you daddy, who else would ride you. I couldn’t believe that you lusted so much after her. And I can’t stop myself from comparing me to her. Is that why you want to try new things? Why would you want to go from me to her? Was I not good enough in bed? Who was better for you in bed? Me or her? I want honesty. Ah I’m trying so hard to get past that but I can’t right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get past what you did but all I know is that I’m trying 110% to get past that.
Always Me: I never stopped thinking about you that summer. I so badly wanted to forget you forever and get you out of head but no matter what I couldn’t. And for you, it wasn’t until school time that I popped back into your head I’m guessing.
Our Story was beautifully written and it’s sad that it had to be written. I wish it had a different ending.
A&P: I was waiting eagerly for you to come and say something to me. I hoped you would come up during lab and say something, but you didn’t and I would go back to my room sometimes, go in the shower, and just cry.
I’m almost done..
In the past, I’ve had a few guys that I’ve had flings with, crushes on, etc. I was infatuated and the few guys I was with, I thought was my handsome guy, no matter what they actually looked like or what other people thought and same with you. And they thought I was the prettiest girl in the world (if that was actually true to them who knows I mean it’s the thought that counts) So maybe to others, I’m not the prettiest or skinniest girl in the world but you better fucking bet I best be the prettiest girl in the world in the eyes of my boyfriend and future husband’s. So for you to say that I’m not idk what to tell you. You better fix that and mean it. Not just because I’m saying something now.
So I'll end with this. I know you completely regret last summer and are sorry for it. I can see that on your Tumblr that you are sorry for that mistake. But me personally, I’m still healing from what you did to me and all I can ask of you is to be patient with me. Because I’m honestly really trying to forgive and forget but like everyone says that’s easier said than done.
janainaart
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andulkaphoto
germansingergirl
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