I told this to someone ik and now I want to put it here so here is my opinion on armand and his desperation and why hes at an AA meeting:
Armand has been around addiction his whole life, he was addicted to drinking and gambling and sex and love and drugs and all these things so I dont doubt him when he says hes an addict. Because he is.
On the topic of his desperation, hes desperate just as an addict is to whatever drug they seek.
Hes desperate to make something his god because hes addicted to following others even when he was the leader of the coven, he still was "dominated" and desperate to get someone to call his god
Hes desperate to have control of everything in his life which in turn makes him have nothing to control.
Hes desperate to be loved so much he cant just let himself be loved because again hes so desperate to have someone to follow. He makes his lover be his god which in turns harms them both and he doesnt know why.
As Assad said also, he doesnt know hes evil. Im his mind he is protecting himself from the abuse he faced for hundreds of years even when he is now safe. He is always in fight or flight because he cant even conceive of the idea that someone loves him and he is happy and he is safe because anytime hes ever felt like this, something has happened to fuck it all up. So due to his paranoia and inability to let things just be good, hes the one who ends up fucking it all up. Because what else can he control. He feels something will happen either way, so why not it be something he chooses this time?
In reality, when hes going through something, addiction is what he turns back to. He turns back to the things he knows. He knows how to please people sexually, he knows how to get high, he knows how to drink his problems away. He fucks he drinks he gambles.
Sigh I love armand, hes in my head and im in his head and I cannot escape his trauma or his story or him.
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