My Mindscape

The rambling of a mad woman

[sosuperawesome]

Botanical Rings

Lily and Dahlia on Etsy

[nbcthegoodplace]

This is the ONLY Valentine’s gift idea. 

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So, I’ve recently noticed something....

The way I eat, the things I crave while cooking alone, are very specific... they're usually rich in colour, flavour and low in price... but also, Keto.

I’ve honestly never researched the Keto diet, I honestly couldn't care less about it; it is however the way i tend to loose weight.

Never on purpose, anytime I feel that I’m at my healthiest it usually because I’m following the logic of my body, what I crave, what it feels like my body is missing, needing.

Generally, I eat, peppers, onions, anything deep green, ie. zucchini, spinach, broccoli, legumes, eggs, rice and at times cheese and meat. Very specific times, when I get to a really low iron point I crave meat so freaking much. I’m not opposed to eating meat (I will, it just not something I feel should be eaten daily, globally that's such a privileged and unnecessary idea), it just not something i want daily lately, digestively, it doesn't do it for me.

My digestion has become such a focal point of the way I live my life, when I feel that everything is working in unison I feel light, I don't bloat, my mentality feels clear and light as well. When its not, I'm sluggish, sleepy.. no... exhausted emotionally and physically, my depression gets heavier and I loose all creativity.

Why has it taken me this long to realize this. 

I’ve always known what you eat is important, but, listening to my body is so important, I crave what I need, I need to stop listening to others. 

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Energy

Without energy there is no outcome, you put the effort in and something, anything will come from it.

It may not be good. It may be horrible.

But it could also be exactly what you need.

You need to make a decision, and put into motion what you want, it wont happen otherwise.

Research, find an option and put some effort in for Goddesses sake.

I'm sick of waiting.

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This was all your choice, you decided the time you wanted to spend with a person, you decided the effort you wanted to put in.

These were yours.

Your ego is separate, move on and grow.

It hurts now, but move on and there will be nothing that can stop you.

Life gives you exactly what you need in the moment.

Breathe.

There's nothing more you can do.

You made the choice, after he made his, just grow babe.

Become what your meant to be.

Don't forget, but don't let the things that happen become your hindrance.

If they wanted you, they would've made the effort and fucking fought.

Boy bye.

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Inhabit your being, you are one and you are all.

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I've stiffened,

I can feel the dread and ill thoughts.

I must keep moving.

I allow the drifting to come, I create the scape and ruin the center I inhabit.

Alone is not where I can be anymore.

It is however the only place where strength is found.

Steel yourself, you are the strongest you've ever been.

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I venture out.

In hopes of rejuvenation;

instead all I get is a need to drift.

I suppose this is a good, healthy thing. My body is not staying wide awake for nothing. But as I sit in this crowded bar, my eyes keep drifting and I’m scared they will continue to, and fall deeply.

The lighting is affecting me. I won’t stay awake for long, not long at all.

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In my times of need, I am my strength, I need no one else, I need only to look into myself.

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Breathe and center, your calmness is your power.

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You are at home withthin your own body, it is your space to feel and be felt.

No matter where you’ve been, know that when you embody your soul it shines through you and shows all the real you.

Take your time, intune yourself to what you once found so easy.

She’s not gone, just a little out of elignment.

Breathe and centre, your calmness is your power.

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Open your eyes, all three of them.

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I am ready. That is the affirmation.

I am ready, I want it in any form I can have it.

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Time and time again, I’ve come to the point where I’m ready to allow myself to be vulnerable, i allow someone into my space and am almost immediately disappointed, ignored and forgotten. I have never once had someone’s full attention, or desire for that matter. I want nothing more than companionship and affirmation.

I’ve been alone for so long, how can you even begin to break that cycle.

Especially when you can’t even make eye contact.

[mymindscapeblg]

A blog dedicated to thoughts

Lately I’ve had a deep need. A need to express, form and release all that is bothering me. I’ve needed an outlet to do so, where I am not inside my own head, and journaling is not the answer for me.