Three things I've learned in my year living abroad
A full year has passed since I first came to Japan. I thought it might be worth it to take some time to reflect on the three most important things I've learned since coming here.
1. I am much more self-sufficient and resilient that I ever knew.
Living alone in a foreign country will teach you a lot about your own strengths in a way that few other experiences can. There is no time to be cowardly or timid. You only have yourself to rely on. If you don't make a new life for yourself, no one else can or will. You have to be outgoing and friendly. You have to work hard to overcome linguistic and cultural barriers so people can get to know the person you are and come to like you for it. There is is no room for self-pity. Though living alone in a new environment is very liberating, it is also isolating. You can slip into depression and there will be no one at home to cheer you up from it. If you don't feed yourself, look after your body, look after your house and your finances, encourage yourself to work hard and congratulate yourself on small achievements, no one else will do it for you. You have to be your own support network 80% of the time, and for the other 20%, when your strength isn't enough, you need the maturity, humility and courage to reach out to others for help.
2. Give much and you will receive much in return.
Perhaps this is especially true for where I live (the Japanese countryside) and the work I do (teaching) but the more of myself, of my time and my heart I give to the people I meet here, the more I receive in return. Perhaps I simply took my relationships for granted at home where I was born into a loving family and surrounded by wonderful friends, but here, where I've had to build relationships from scratch, I've been amazed at the warmth, kindness and generosity I have received. The kind deeds done for me by others who did not count the cost taught me anew the joy of giving and receiving. Certainly, money is a necessary tool to build a safe and happy life, but not all exchanges ought to be reckoned monetarily. I have found that giving freely without expecting a return results in a bounty far greater than a calculated investment. Through all of this I have also learned the importance of graciously accepting what others give you, regardless of your own likes, needs and preferences. To refuse someone's generosity, whether called for, needed or desired is to make both you and the giver poorer for it.
3. Smile as often and as broadly as you can.
Smiles, like yawns, are infectious. The happiness they spread to others, at no cost to yourself, is far too underrated, as are their power to smooth over awkward, tense and uncertain situations. A smile speaks directly to a person's heart. Where words fail you, a smile will not.
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