a sampling of the weird shit my brain has to offer

Main: DrLaingWillSeeYouNow

[myso-calledconfessionals]

i love that the hiddlesworth fandom has decided tom’s cock is longer but chris is thicker.  very consistent across all fics.  keep up the good work everyone. 

[myso-calledconfessionals]

working a boring 9-5 job

pros: nights and weekends free

cons: dead inside

[myso-calledconfessionals]

i realize i'm a straight woman and colby keller is a gay man but maybe he'd want to marry me and be the father of my children?

[myso-calledconfessionals]

sexual orientation: tom hiddleston in a leather jacket and aviators

[myso-calledconfessionals]

two tabs open.  one is neopets, the other is a gay daddy kink blog.  i am a strange kind of person.

[myso-calledconfessionals]

chris now has a twitter and maybe i checked to make sure he's following tom. he is and all is well. 

[myso-calledconfessionals]

had a really nice dream about colby keller last night. not even a sex dream, but it won't leave my thoughts. so nice.

[myso-calledconfessionals]

lazy sunday goals:

stay in bed

eat rainbow cookies

[myso-calledconfessionals]

i hope everyone at this screening of Into the Woods is ok with me turning this into a sing-along

[myso-calledconfessionals]

someone needs to invent a way for me to eat bacon and cream cheese on a bagel for breakfast every day while i remain healthy at the same time. 

[myso-calledconfessionals]

i need a fic where tom pokes fun at chis for being the sexiest man alive, there's some cute banter, and then eventual fucking.  does this exist yet?

[myso-calledconfessionals]

i like to look deep into the manicurist's eyes while she's massaging my hands because that is about as close as i get to intimacy these days

[myso-calledconfessionals]

for someone who is uncomfortable being touched i sure do crave touch

[myso-calledconfessionals]

why don’t you come back to my place and i’ll sing christmas songs to you?

oh it’s only october?

well fuck you too.

[myso-calledconfessionals]

life goals:

buy a farm

buy some cows

learn how to make cheese

make the most delicious cheese anyone has ever made

eat said cheese

fuck tom hiddleston

die happy

[myso-calledconfessionals]

i woke up crying this morning after having a hiddlesworth high school au dream. literally crying, actual tears running down my cheeks. Chris asked Tom to the prom and he already had a date and Chris was heartbroken. real tears, in my sleep. wtf is wrong with me??

[myso-calledconfessionals]

if i ever happen to meet chris hemsworth this would surely pop into my head

giggling/wheezing and excusing myself from his presence

(gif: x)