nct dream + nct 127 // snow and dirty rain by richard siken // rainbow by nct dream // dear DREAM by nct dream
there is so much to say, and a lot i haven't unpacked yet, but firstly i would like to thank mark for all the music and all the happiness that he has been a source of in my life. the years of dedication and hard work he's put into his brand and this craft are very admirable, but still, i'm happy that he's chosen to step back for himself. i assume that it must take a lot of strength to be able to pull yourself away from something you have worked for almost your entire life because of the realization that this is not what you've always wanted to do, and i hope that he finds happiness and success in whatever he choses to do going forward.
i had been out of the loop for a while—although i was still listening to them, i hadn't kept up with the group itself—so this come out of NOWHERE to me. one thing i've realized now is that after the entire ordeal of the graduation concept, i'd come to take mark's presence and also dream being 7 members for granted. it's a little embarrassing and self-admittedly a little parasocial of me maybe, but i have been sobbing a little (read: quite a lot) at random times since the news broke out. i'm upset that i never got to see 127 as 8 and 7dream live, upset that we didn't get to close off the 127 chapter as well as we got to close 7dream, also confused because i truly cannot imagine what nct might be like without mark right now.
i'm in a bit of a half and half state right now—i get that he's done, and he's left and it's all on good terms which puts my heart at ease and i think i've come to terms with it, but at the same time it simply doesn't feel real when i think of the groups without him. feels like 2 different things that are not related at all.
unlike a lot of people, i did not find nct and mark in a particularly challenging or difficult phase of my life. in fact, it was probably too mundane. but the one thing i will always remember mark lee for is being my academic motivation (believe it or not lol!) his determination and dedication since a young age and being able to juggle SO MUCH would really make me think: if he can do it, why can't i :P
i will miss him a lot, but in danny ric's words (and i'm sure they would've liked each other) sometimes you've just got to lick the stamp and send it.
to the next chapter, whatever it may look like!!
