I'm listening to: potatoi, toy.
I've been a big fan of John for a long time, really I could go on and on, so i'll let myself ramble a little. I remember when John was releasing music under 'obdnce' on soundcloud and listening to his 'Why Not?' EP on spotify, it was the first time I really started to appreciate instrumental music, and I started to focus on sounds a lot more. So from the get go, this album already holds a lot of meaning for me, it stands for a change of pace, and a change of attention. And so much has changed and adapted over the past few years, so little time, so many new experiences, new people, new feelings, attention. Yet still working hard each day, progressing and walking along our own paths.
So now we meet Potatoi, and his musical story of 'Toy'. The cute blue robot taking centre stage on the album cover, it feels sweet and ernest. It makes me think about how I show my feelings, wear my heart on my sleeve, have my head filled with doubt, and if other people see this? It feels cute and somewhat clumsy, it feels honest.
Track 1, Toy. makes me think of the style I had always loved, reminiscent of songs such as Rough Sketches '아무말' and 'Sunset Hills' - which I both love dearly. I will always enjoy a fun jazzy intro. And I love seeing the interconnected thoughts and the stories of artists over the years. I am curious about john, John Cha, obdnce, potatoi, growing as an artist, a creative person, and the changing expression and flow of words. Personally, as just a humble listener I feel like his music has flourished, and it is such a beautiful thing.
I have been listening to Image often. I remember the first time I listened, I was watching the MV, and reading the lyrics. I remember how it touched my heart, there was a sense of vulnerablity which struck me, and I felt like I saw myself, and every moment of the past colliding together. Image has such a beautiful melody, it's the sort of song that makes me feel like cherishing everything: everything about life, the dull everyday, the beautiful everyday. How does everything feel so present, and how does every step, each taken from hundreds of miles away seem to fall into a rhythm?
"There's a part of me I can't tell you, my own secret
Sometimes I wonder if I want to hide it from you too, secretly (Hmm)"
There's a drama I watched last year, that spoke of the book 'To Room Nineteen' which I have desperately been wanting to read. We have these things that we hold so dearly, and closely to us, our 'Room 19'. Do we share this with those we love? Will our protection be broken? If we open the door just to let a little light in, will everything suddenly flow out? So these questions have been on my mind for months, and I wonder each day, what is the worth of sharing things, and how each and every thing deserves nuance.
"There's a part of me I can't tell you, my own secret
Sometimes I wonder if I want to hide it from you too, secretly (Hmm)"
I think how the world gets tangled and twisted, running alongside itself, connecting people, words and feelings, is one of the most precious things. That is the basis of why I want to write about this album, how I feel, my words, and sharing thoughts with others.
I was really pleasantly surprised by 'Shade' I love songs that feel dreamy but have that underlying grit and darkness. I think of the phrase "there are two sides to every coin" (meaning, you can't have the good part of something without its bad). Where there is light, shining brightly and beautifully, there is shade and darkness. Where light could be shining brightly and beautifully, there is light that is blinding and suffocating. Where there is shade there is variety, shades of light and darkness merging together. "There are two sides to every coin" but is it ever that simple? That starkly black and white? Maybe life is not like a coin, but one of the dice with tens of sides, it gets tossed and turned, crashing on hard surfaces, and in the end, there are multiple sides facing the darkness, and multiple sides facing the light, all in different shades. That is what shade makes me think of, so often I wish for things to be simpler and complexity turns life into a painful, blinding haze, and so often I adore the complexity of life.
And so with the complexity of love, there is space for cuteness, purity and simplicity. 'Popsicle' seems to fulfill these. It makes my heart happy.I like the formation of the album, each song swims and flows into the next smoothly.
I love hearing how Potatoi reimagines 'Evening Glow' somehow when I listen I feel flooded with emotions in a way that is different to the wave to earth version. I think the way he sings the lyrics, I just.. it feels real, 'tender' and vulnerable..aaa really suddenly every bittersweet memory comes to me at once. I think that's it, that's how I feel about Potatoi- vulnerability.
Once again, feelings of love, loneliness and confusion run alongside each other, falling, fading and growing, and we are onto 'Vanish
''Fly away, fly away Go far away From here"
"We're gonna find the way To vanish from this world"
'We' is such a beautiful word, we live our life surrounded by people, in busy cities, or small towns but to be truly part of something, to be part of 'We' is precious. Again our moments and days fade together, whether singing to the whole world, to one person, or to ourselves - there are times when things are connected and shared, beauty and darkness. There are times when the pain of joint memories and wishes are so prevelant in my life, that it feels sickening. Wishes fade and turn into things I want to hide. Sometimes I wish to be my own 'We'. To sooth my pain the way I try to sooth the pain of my loved ones. Whatever that 'We' is, it will always be important, and I wish to find a way to be the rest point, a person to cry to, and a person to lie on, for all people I love, myself included.
For me 'Plain life' plays off these feelings too.
"Look at our plain lives oh I'm gonna color up your day"
It makes me sigh, because how can life feel so hauntingly and beautifully delicate. At the end of the day, we live our lives, and days pass and fade, memories grow and wither. But if tonight we just be, look up at the sky, share our worries, the things we lost, we can make room for the things that we can gain together, from this time.
And with that, I think my day has become more thoughtful, and I hope yours can too.
Thank you John, Potatoi☀🌙
