The Worst Music Reviewer On The Internet

[babeyknife]

god i love 10+ minute long songs. yes girl take me on a journey

[babeyknife]

reblog with your favorite #longsong if youre cool

[mandycore420]

took me a while to find this in my gallery and its not even as funny as i remember it being

[segamascott]

[tsarina-anadyomene]

i feel like when you work in other media it's gotta be hard to cope with the fact that music is just better

[syn4k]

literally thank fucking god for music

[dorothylarouge]

[berryplusbears]

this already exists. it's called Deltron 3030, a supergroup between rapper Del the Funkee Homosapien (who most of y'all only know from the Gorillaz song "Clint Eastwood" but has a much larger and greater catalog), producer Dan the Automator, and DJ Kid Koala.

In 2000, they released a self-titled concept album set in the year 3030, about a former mech soldier and hacking master named Deltron Zero, who plans to use his skills to create a virus to shut down the corporate overlords suppressing hip-hop culture and human rights, all while he takes part in rap battles to become Galactic Rhyme Federation Champion.

Whole album is dope, and it's down below. A masterpiece in the scene of underground hip-hop.

[mytastessuck]

See Ya Later

As expected, I couldn't find an entire version of the album for free and I don't have funds to purchase it so...this marks the end of the blog.

Why did I start this blog...mostly to give me something to do and because I wanted to show a bunch of silly songs I have saved to my playlist. I've added hundreds more to it since I've started so I assure you...I'm prospering.

Thanks to everyone who indulged this simple hobby of mine and the only thing I can advise is to keep an open mind towards this medium. You'll be surprised where your favorite song can come from.

Before I leave this side-blog as an archive, I'll do a simple poll for my post-mortem action. Which would you prefer?

What should I do to close out the blog?

Review a song I missed from the Japanese Into The Spiderverse soundtrack

Review the two Doctor Dark songs I found.

One more album review: The River by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

A playlist based on any esoteric theme of your choice.

Voting ended onApr 29, 2025

Thanks for listening.

[mytastessuck]

Metal, Meat & Bone: The Songs Of Dyin' Dog

The bitches are back.

The album is actually a rock opera based on legendary blues singer Alvin Snow, also known as Dyin' Dog. An albino born to an interracial couple left on an orphanage with the note "I Calls Him Alvin". Why two people who abandoned have the right to name him is never described in detail. Struggling with his identity, Alvin grew up grifting before being inspired by Blues rocker Howlin' Wolf and starting a band called The Mongrels, sung about his dead crippled dog, and recorded demos with the band before disappearing in 1976.

Now, a blues aficionado might ask themselves "Why haven't I heard of Dyin' Dog?". That's because you aren't cool enough and Dyin' Dog was made up for this album. The Residents did a shocker and made something up. This album has sixteen tracks: The first ten are by Dyin' Dog and the next six are by The Residents.

Let's howl for one penultimate time.

Bury My Bone

Yup, this sure is a Residents---Alvin song covered by The Residents. Good for them giving a classic song their own touch of dementedness.

8/10

2. Hungry Hound

Picking up with this origin tale and wow, the guitar work in this era remains on point. Listen to those fingers plucking away...you'll never be able to unhear that.

9/10

3. Die! Die! Die!

Yup, still holds up. Never piss off a blues musician.

150,000/10

4. River Runs Dry

Damn...second best song on the album so far. This is really making me feel like I'm in the bog with the intensity and the nihilism.

11/10

5. The Dog's Dream

Classic Residents here, making you go in the head of an old man...whether you like it or not. And you won't. Until you do. And then you won't again.

9/10

6. I Know

Slow and contemplative...but yeah, you can tell it's not over. Not by a long shot for Alvin.

7/10

7. Pass For White

An albino struggling with his racial identity makes for good brooding music. Gotta give you a look into the mindscape of Dyin' Dog.

8/10

8. Tell Me

I sympathize with the singer on this song. Nobody tells me anything either. Let the guitars tell you...

8/10

9. Momma Don't Go

Arkansas is mentioned? Wild. Alvin talks about looking for his family with good violins playing throughout. Hopefully what he got is what he needs, even if it isn't what he wanted.

8/10

10. Dead Weight

Third best song on the album, industrial blues is best blues. Give it a listen in the factory and see how long it takes for you to throw someone.

10/10

11. Cold As A Corpse

Sounds like a marching band to Hell. I like it.

8/10

12. Blood Stains

I like the group singing here. Harmony is needed in more blues album. How hard is it to ask for that?

9/10

13. Cut To The Quick

Fourth best song on the album. Sounds like an actual blues song so that gives it bonus points and it has keys which gives it a few more.

10/10

14. She Called Me Doggy

Okay, this is an incredibly good album. I'm going to stop ranking the songs. The plinking on this one is godly and needs to be archived.

10/10

15. Evil Hides

Fuck, they should stick with the blues. This is clearly their niche. Look at how the guitar complements the singing, it makes me want to listen to Leadbelly. Get it, white boys.

10/10

16. Midnight Man

This song is already on my playlist. Tennessee Ernie Ford is a punk, this is the guy whose path I would stay out of. Fuck with this dude and get headlocked by the despair.

30/10

17. Bury My Bone (Demo)

Fuck it, let's do the demos too. I actually prefer this to the original and little known fact...did you know this song is about sex? Because that's what "bone" means. Naughty.

10/10

18. Hungry Hound (Demo)

So awesome. Loving the blues version of this blues song. I need more blues demo versions of songs starting now.

11/10

19. Die! Die! Die! (Demo)

Kill it, Francis! Not better than the refined version but fuck...you can howl this on the porch. This is how you died in the South back in the day.

11/10

20. River Runs Drive (Demo)

Is that a typo? Who cares? More bluesy goodness that outpaces the original. Try not to growl to this. I dare you.

11/10

21. The Dog's Dream (Demo)

The album is just beating the actual album's ass now. This is objectively better than the original in every way. Twangy for the win.

11/10

22. I Know (Demo)

Play this from a train and you'll become intangible. There's no way to disprove it!

9/10

23. Pass For White (Demo)

So angry! Try to confuse the albino for a white boy with this amount of screaming.

9/10

24. Tell Me (Demo)

Rock your head to this while people continue not to tell you anything. It'll take your mind off of it.

10/10

25. Momma Don't Go (Demo)

Sounds like what the song should have been, not gonna lie. This is why every demo is better than the finished version with no exceptions.

10/10

26. Dead Weight (Demo)

Feels like the universe is crashing on top of you like you're in a FIlthy Frank novel. Great way to end the bonus material.

10/10

Album Score: 578/10

Next time is the final studio album to date: Doctor Dark. I'll try to track it down and after that, the future of this blog.

[mytastessuck]

Happy 4/20

[mytastessuck]

Intruders

Apparently, this is a concept album focused on "the unseen and the uncontrollable spirits stuck in the seams of our minds". Fun. First post-Hardy Fox album who died shortly after its release, it never confirmed he contributed anything meaningful to the record. I've reviewed one song from this album already...but we'll get to that. Let's get started.

Bobbie's Burning Blue

Nice and twangy...a homesy way to start a Residents album. I've been loving their guitar work recently, I don't say that enough.

9/10

2. Voodoo Doll

Still as good as the last time I listened to it...a few weeks ago. Very dreary and sticky like good music should be. Oh and I didn't review this as I stated above so for a first time score...

1658/10

3. The Scarecrow

A bit peppier but that guitar, man...this album is good for putting hair in the ears. Give it a good listen and agree with me.

9/10

4. Frank's Lament

Second best song on the album. Seriously, the guitars here are fucking excellent! Hats off to the masked dudes with dreads on tour.

11/10

5. Missing Me

More spoken word! You can sew the mouth shut but you can't shut up the eyeball. Very nice and atmospheric.

8/10

6. Still Needy

Oh, you have angered the guitars. Shame on you, now they're out for blood. You're in trouble with them and the drums.

9/10

7. The Other

You can dance to this one...you know, if you're into military marches. Which is cool...I guess? You do you, if you stay off certain sites.

8/10

8. Good Vibes

More spoken word and so what if you're being followed by spirits? They're just you, right? Learn to love yourself.

8/10

9. Endless And Deep

Oh, now we're still with the ghosts. Pretty spooky...but hey, the guitars are still here. That's good, right?

8/10

10. Running Away

A little more spoken word and you're still being followed. Sorry but you can't escape yourself. Or the keyboards. They'll always be with you.

8/10

11. Shadows

Good way to close the album. Bombastic but ominous...perfect way for the spirits to kill you.

8/10

Album Score: 159/10

Next time is Metal, Meat & Bone...an album with a song I've actually reviewed. Let's make the penultimate one something to remember.

[mytastessuck]

The Ghost Of Hope

RIP Hardy Fox. This was his last album before his death seven years ago. It's about train wrecks...fitting.

Because train wrecks are horrifying and awesome.

Have you noticed how all the other albums after Bunny Boy has been mostly instrumentals? Well, The Residents were touring during that time doing shows at art installations and they were using their music to create an atmosphere for the performances. And Mush-Room, like I said, was created for a stage room.

According to Homer Flynn, the spokesperson, The Residents wanted to do a train album for years...fifty years, apparently, before they focused on a concept. A concept that came to them by searching for a book on Amazon called Death By Train that detailed trainwrecks from the late 1800s to the early 1900s via newspaper articles. They used 10-12 articles from the book to inspire lyrics from the album.

Hardy, while he was Charles, talked about creating album in 2014 but he was distracted by touring commitments. He was going to release it in 2015 but the Shadowland tour kept pushing it back so he left the group out of boredom. The album apparently now only has bits and pieces of what he wrote...he admitted he barely played on it.

Homer says the album is a throwback to Eskimo, given it having an overarching theme and narrative and needing the booklet to understand the crashes. I'll try to explain them as we go but if I can't find anything...you're on your own.

Let's get started.

Horrors Of The Night

Damn, this is creepy...who knew that an album about trainwrecks would be so spooky? Doing some research, I think this is about the Train Wreck of 1896 where the car slid back and killed one man and injured another. Several people saw it happen and...couldn't do anything. Yeesh.

8/10

2. The Crash At Crush

According to Wikipedia, the Crash at Crush was a publicity stunt in Texas where two trains were crashed into each other at high speed. There was no admission charged and train fares were lessened to get people to see the show. 40,000 people showed up, more than the second largest city in the United States had in 1896. Those who have any idea about how debris works knows why this was a stupid idea...two people died and there were numerous injuries. The song has a good part where the crowd cheers...and then they don't. It's effective.

9/10

3. Death Harvest

I don't know what this one is about but poor Winsor and...the train that did something to him. I dunno, I wanna focus on the music. I don't feel like looking up the lyrics.

8/10

4. Shroud of Flames

Also lost on this one but it's my favorite song on the album. Good imagery and good use of guitar with percussion. And the horns...almost makes you want to get in a wreck yourself.

10/10

5. The Great Circus Train Wreck of 1918

Okay, I heard of this one before I heard the album. Hammond Circus Train Wreck...one of the worst in US history. Killed eighty-six people when the engineer fell asleep, around the Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus. The show was cancelled. The perspective from the clown is haunting.

10/10

6. Train Vs. Elephant

Oh, I also knew this story before the album...but from another album entirely.

Ever hear of mewithoutyou? They're another art rock who started out in Evangelical Christian circles before moving on to broader work, although I'm not sure if they practice the religion themselves. Anyway, they have a concept album called Ten Stories that details a trainwreck of a circus caravan caused by an elephant who was trying to rescue the other animals from a life of servitude. There's a song in there that is one of my favorites from their discography that details the elephant's reasoning...and draws from two real life events.

In real life, there are two separate incidents in which an elephant was tried and hung. This real life story...isn't one of them. On September 17, 1894, an elephant stood on the tracks and defiantly refused to move. Because it was fucking big and really tough, it managed to derail the train by having it smash into it. It killed the elephant and destroyed the cars. Some say it did because to protect its herd from the "iron beast"...kind of like the elephant in the above song based on the crash of the Benjamin Wallace Circus in 1922 which inspired the above song. So why am I talking about here? When else can I do it?

8/10

7. Killed At A Crossing

If I had to guess what this about, I'll go with the Hatfield Train Wreck of 1900. It was a milk train that killed 13 people on the way to Philadelphia (Philly mention!). The song mentions how bodies flew from the wreck as described in the newspaper...so it is that wreck. I was right.

8/10

Album Score: 87/100

Next up is Intruders. See you then for the first of the final three.

[grapefruiters]

i love when a song is an acquired taste. you can listen to something once and go huh. there's something here even if im not quite ready for it yet. and you listen a couple more times. and then bam a couple weeks or months or years later you listen, youve finally worn the song in and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever heard

[clydecashed-deactivated20200313]

just remembered music is real

This post is for fans of MUSIC only

[mytastessuck]

Mushroom

Fun fact, every time I tried to listen to this album on my old laptop, it crashed. It's probably cursed. Anyway, this album is a composition for a performance piece by the theater group Needcompany. After this album, Hardy Fox would retire his Charles Bobuck persona and The Residents would begin their modern era...

So here's my thoughts.

Mush-Room

Creeping, ominous, refusing to be ignored...The Residents are back onstage, alright. Glad to have them return.

8/10

2. Musical Chairs In 3:4

I dare you not to play to this piece. It's so innocent and whimsical it'll make you want to tear your colon out.

8/10

3. Sticks And Logs

Music to build to. Good percussion for your toys.

8/10

4. Dung Beetles At Work

Don't disturb the dung beetles. They sound depressed. Maybe they're helping out the Moles?

7/10

5. Broken Brake

Definitely feels like something's coming to a stop...hope you don't go flying!

8/10

6. Yellow Marrow

Best track on the album. I'm sucker for discordant fiddles and this provides in full. Listen to it and eat the roots.

10/10

7. When The Wealthy Were Wise

Like a tune from a classic music hall...until it's not. Never let your guard down around the eyeballs.

9/10

8. Song For Grace

Sounds like a dirge so...RIP Grace, I guess? Hope your funeral has enough salads.

8/10

9. Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Did this start off with a rubber band? Who knows? All I know is ghosts wrote this.

9/10

10. The Birth Of Mush Room

Plinking and chanting? This is how mushrooms are grown? I've been way off my whole life.

8/10

11. The Dream I Almost Remember

Has an ethereal quality but where's the ol' circus charm? It walks without ever actually getting anyway.

7/10

12. Only Room For One More Mush

Well...maybe just one more mush...

Glad I had it. This track is a delightful closer. Wish I saw this onstage.

9/10

Album Score: 89/100

Next time is The Ghost Of Hope. We're closing in on the endgame...

[mytastessuck]

Bad Day On The Midway: Music From The Game Reconsidered

Everyone ready for the remastered version with remixes?

Prepare for disappointment.

This album contains no remixes but in fact new songs to accompany a sequel book to the game. Listen up: the game was successful but in the year this album was released (2012), it was unplayable on any computer. So The Residents put the story in a book and gave the album away with the book, to keep the tale alive.

So let's ponder the amusement...

Bad Day Reemerges

Definitely what you expect to hear when you have to fight a carnival boss monster in a video game. Get ready for a bad day...

8/10

2. Timmy Is Now An Adult

Timmy is older now...and he's going to hear weird ballet music for the rest of his life. Poor guy.

7/10

3. Bugs For Comma

I assume this is the point of the story where Timmy is bitten by the radioactive spider, forever reconfiguring his DNA. It's time for to take to the skies as the arachnid hero no one has ever seen before...

7/10

4. Marvelous Mayhem

Now this sounds like The Residents! Foreboding and circusy...like a trip through the forest at 3 AM.

8/10

5. Around The Midway We Go

Like they recorded this in a factory...or under the carnival, which where they keep the moles that operate everything. Did you know that? Now you do.

8/10

6. Stuck To My Eyelids

Don't let the music fool you. You WILL be working the popcorn stand to pay off the UFO ride you broke this summer.

8/10

7. Passing Time By Passing Gas

Weird music to fart to...but I'll try.

7/10

8. Lottie As An Old Lady

Damn...don't get old, ladies. All of your music will be depressing.

8/10

9. Bad Mood Day

Sounds like a bad mood. But also sounds like a noir...which fits!

8/10

10. March Of The Residents

Kind of gives me Jello Jack vibes...I like it! Nostalgic.

8/10

11. Twiddling Thumbs

Oh, I fucking dare you to not twiddle your thumbs to this. This is god-tier wasting time music. You will not overcome.

8/10

12. Falling In Love With Love

A love theme for the ages? At the carnival? It's more creepy than you think.

7/10

13. Introducing A Little Light

Hopeful and cheerful...until it's not. Good for it!

8/10

14. Dixie Brings It Home

Best song on the album. Thank you for bringing the rock, Dixie!

9/10

Album Score: 77/100

Next time is Mushroom! Let's hope it doesn't crash on my computer this time...

[mytastessuck]

Night Train To Nowhere!:

Still in the Talking Light era. This is a long one so let's get started.

Milton-The Melted Man

Damn...melted roommates are the worst roommates. I know from experience.

8/10

2. The Phantom Fingers

Great strings in this song about a surgeon. I'm sure he's entirely professional about his job.

9/10

3. The Fat Ghost

Ominous but it's always fun to be traumadumped on. Always fun.

8/10

4. Mother Love

Psychology with train tracks? How ghastly.

8/10

5. The Ghost Snake

A singing snake? Okay, this whole album is becoming weird.

8/10

6. The Talking Light

A cottage always makes things awkward. Always.

8/10

7. The Talking Light (Things To Come version)

More subtle and tinny...making it better.

9/10

Album Score: 83/100

Next time, if I can find it, is Bad Day On The Midway: Music From The Game Reconsidered. Hopefully a good transitional entry!

[mytastessuck]

Chuck's Ghost Music:

More Talking Light! Another short one so let's go.

Florence

Looks like we got some ads in with the ambience. Puts me in the mood to eat a whole cheese commercial.

8/10

2. Ghost Snake

Feels like being dragged down a long and winding road...the perfect music to drive to.

8/10

3. Perchance To Dream

Good percussion to remind you of the Sandman album. Let's see Elvis Costello outdo this.

8/10

4. Milton

Hm, a fire. Wonder if everybody made it out in time to record.

8/10

5. Pudding In Disguise

This whole album is giving me Memory Hole flashbacks. Here, I'm gonna link to the channel and you see what you think.

Memory Hole

Share your videos with friends, family, and the world

8/10

6. Sleepwalker

Dusty and dreary...very on brand for The Residents. It makes you know something's behind you.

8/10

7. Unseen Sister

But she can see you...with all of her keys...

8. Talking Light

The eponymous track is the best on the album, mixing the creepiness of the former songs with the bombasticness of threatening you directly. It's a good time to fall through a window.

9/10

Album Score: 81/100

Next time, Night Train To Nowhere! I feel like we're entering a new era...