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this isn’t a hear me out this is a HOLD ME BACK
half agony, half smoke | k. jongseob x reader
syp☆彡: kim jongseob has a problem. well, lots of them actually. his lighters never last long, his friends keep pestering him, he’s recently discovered he’s a lot more of an outsider than he thought he was, and the librarian is doing something strange to his heart.
word count: 14.5k
warnings: delinquent!jongseob (as i have pegged it) x librarian!reader .. 18+, nsfw, does contain smut at the end, minors do not interact! light angst (gets resolved quick dw), mentions of smoking (devils lettuce), drinking, some profanity.
⛓️authors note : debut fic lol !! this is v self indulgent, i love jongseob killing it era and i love books how can you blame me(^_^) havent written fic in forever and used to be an ao3 author, only proofread once so pls be nice!! i hope to open requests in the future :3 hope u love!
🏷️: #p1harmony fanfic #p1harmony smut #kim jongseob #i love this one #pls love it too
“Out of all of us…I think Jongseob’s the worst.”
Is what came out in chuckles from Keeho’s mouth, followed by 4 other snickers and remarks of agreement. Jongseob, in question, was staring at the ceiling in a daze, when the statement made him bring his half-lidded gaze back to his friends.
“The worst? How, hyung?” Jongseob said with a growing smirk, his body sunk into the couch as a familiar wave of relaxation took over him.
It was a typical weekday night, at least for Jongseob and his friends it was. They had just finished band practice, which usually consisted of running through a small setlist and messing around in the studio, which was just a small corner with all their necessary equipment in Theo’s basement. Oh, and of course the obligatory blunt (or two…or three) that they passed around after every practice like some sort of closing ritual.
Keeho was sprawled on the floor, joined by Shota, when he propped up on his elbow to stare at Jongseob with the same half lidded eyes. “You’re a total…delinquent.” He began, receiving nods from others. “I mean, we all are, I guess. But you’re like…especially worse.”
Following that statement came sounds of mmmm’s, indicating agreement from the other equally stoned guys in the room. And, well now Jongseob’s entire high was ruined.
He sat up to look around and couldn’t believe his stinging, smoke irritated eyes that these guys were mutually agreeing that he was the most misbehaved out of them all. Not when he’s seen Theo and Intak play a garage show for one of those stupidly large buzz balls. Now he was offended.
“Worse?” He spat with a puzzled look knitted in his eyebrows. “What do you mean? I’m not even in the top three in this room.”
Keeho snickered, joined by Intak who now took responsibility in explaining to Jongseob this twisted agenda that was being spread. “Dude, Come on. You’re the youngest, for starters.” He said as he took a drag, the neatly rolled blunt resting in his fingers. “So automatically you’ve got that edge to you…You were in the back of a cop car once. Theo had to call and pretend to be your dad, remember?”
Jongseob stared at him with thin, offended eyes as the blunt was passed down to Soul, and apparently the shit-talk-jongseob baton to Keeho as he took over once again. “I definitely remember that. You're also addicted to those little pens, even though we tell you those things are bad for you. Let’s see…you fought throughout like all of your freshman and sophomore year. No idea how you graduated, by the way.”
Jongseob scoffed, running his hand through messy hair as he looked at the ceiling. “That was so long ago.”
“Whatever, you still did it.” Keeho retorted, giggling at soul puffing his cheeks with smoke. “What else……..oh! There was also your graffiti phase, too. Although we can’t get on you too much for that one. Sometimes you cuss like a sailor, You’re a little asshole to all of us. Aaaand…You’re failing community college. Even Ung, Theo, and I have music degrees, man.”
Jongseob was passed the blunt from Shota (not so much passing as Jongseob snatching it) and took a long, hard drag before he shook his head and spoke. “Music degrees, wow. You’re gonna be baristas.”
Theo clicked his tongue and let out an annoyed sound as he looked over at an unbothered Jiung and very bothered Keeho. “See, little asshole.”
Shota, who out of he and Jiung would be most likely to defend Jongseob, finally sighed. “I don’t know Seob, that’s pretty bad.”
Jongseob was just irritated now. Cause honestly, if he began listing everything this bunch has done, himself excluded, they’d be there for an hour. Only because he was the youngest, and maybe a little snarkier, and maybe caring the least for any type of school or employment outside of music, was he named the biggest delinquent. The entire thing was complete and utter, “Bullshit. You guys are all on your high horse but I’m really not bad.”
The next pillar who was meant to defend Jongseob came crumbling down, leaving his foundation crumbled and turned to dust as Jiung spoke up. “Jongseob…when was the last time you read a book?”
Jongseob stayed quiet, the question catching him off guard, and just as he was about to answer, Intak cut him off. “No, comic books don’t count.”
He made a point to blow smoke in his face as he rebuttled, “Shota literally reads comic books, too.”
Keeho waved him off, a hand patting Shota’s head. “Shota’s just different. Whatever, the point remains. Not like you can help it though. You’re younger than all of us, so you’re going to be less mature. Now pass the blunt, it’s my turn.”
Jongseob shooed away the hand that was reaching for it, leaning back and falling back to stare at the ceiling, the blunt following his mouth. “Screw off, roll a new one.”
★彡
It had been maybe a day later when Jongseob found himself holding onto the rail of a train headed to an outer district of the city, known for housing one particular facility.
The library.
He had his headphones on, trying to bob his head to the song he was listening to, but he kept asking himself the same question. It was in only a few short minutes that he decided to grab his go-to dark wash jeans from the floor and any tank top that went with it, and make his way to the train station to go to the library.
But, the question was none other than why?
The truth is, every man has an insatiable ego, and Jongseob was not going to let it be bruised due to “being a delinquent”, all at the fault of the epitome of delinquency and rebellion themselves. (His dear, dear friends.)
So, he was going to read a book, damnit.
He didn’t care which, truly. Unfortunately, their statements had held true. Jongseob vaguely remembers reading a random chapter book back in his 6th year, but that was the last he had seen of that. Any book that he ever gave the light of day to were in fact comic books, and maybe he’d occasionally read a paragraph or two if one of his favorite artists had a written interview.
He didn’t care what book he read, he just needed to read something. As long as it was profound and complex and pretentious and educational or whatever, it would do the job of rubbing it in his friends face that he was more well rounded than they made him out to be.
That is the goal he was laser focused on as he stepped off the train, walking the short distance through the city and pushing through the heavy doors of the library, despite every bone in his body rejecting the idea.
He took a deep breath as he walked in, fumbling to turn off the music leaking from his headphones as it contradicted the quiet environment. Jongseob made his way to the front desk, suddenly conscious of every noise he made. Did the library require pin silence, or just no talking? Hell if he knew.
The front desk was empty. Momentarily, Jongseob searched for a bell, but realized that would be quite counterproductive in this setting.
But, he didn’t have to search for long. He could hear shuffling behind the wall, coming from the room behind the front desk that said “archives” on the plaque. He looked down, and saw the belongings of someone who was there, surely someone was working.
Jongseob cleared his throat after a few seconds, deciding he had no choice but to call out, and so he did. “S’there someone back there?”
The shuffling stopped for a second, and continued, as a female voice could be heard. “Uh, yes! I’ll be out in a moment.”
Jongseob ran a hand over his neck before leaning on the counter. So, apparently it is okay to talk that loud in libraries. He struggled in stifling an annoyed groan as all that ran through his mind was that he didn’t want to be here longer than he needed to. But, alas, he had to see it through.
He lifted his head up from his shoes, staring at the wall that separated him and the librarian. “I just need to know…what uh…what books are the most important, you know? Like, what had the most impact or something.”
A sigh and continued shuffling could be heard as the librarian continued tending to what she was doing. “Oh, so…like the most influential? Um, I personally would say authors like Homer, Tolstoy, Voltaire, Plato, Dostoyevsky, they definitely have some of the most important books written. Something everyone should read, really.”
The librarian seemed to be fond of the question, but Jongseob wasn’t particularly fond of the answer, considering all of those names already sounded complicated.
A thud could be heard from the back, “But you also can’t forget the women authors that shaped literature. Toni Morrison, Jane Austen, the Brontë sisters…” The librarian rambled.
Jongseob was already discouraged, his head leaning on his hand. He was almost close to walking off, accepting his delinquent and classic stoner title, when the librarian stopped shuffling. Footsteps could be heard and out emerged you.
When Jongseob thought of a librarian, he thought of a middle aged lady, one who needed to desperately get laid and interact with someone other than her cats. Not a girl his age (who looked way too bright in a way that was almost sickening) with a sweet smile plastered on her face.
Jongseob stood up straight from where he was leaning, watching as you straightened out your clothes, and pushed up your glasses. You had a look of understanding, like you knew Jongseob was lost and clearly needed some elaboration on every word that had just come out of your mouth.
“Though, all those names can be a lot if you’ve never heard them before…” You said, your hands resting on the counter as Jongseob took in every aspect of you.
Your hair, braided to the side with strands sticking out in a flawless almost intentional way. Your eyes, doe-like and big, as if you could talk about this all day, even with someone like Jongseob. Your clothes, soft and delicate, nothing like Jongseob’s style, yet so fitting on you. There seemed to be only one thought running rampant in his mind now as he processed all of these micro details.
Fuck..., she is so cute.
Jongseob was interrupted from his thoughts as you spoke again. “I would recommend The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald to start off, and Animal Farm by George Orwell. Those are always the easiest to digest.”
Jongseob was too entranced to even care about the fact that you already knew he was too stupid to read any of the authors you had stated at first. He was almost too distracted to answer, but he managed to anyway as he swallowed the fluster in his throat. “Uh, okay, yeah. Great Gatsby…Animal Farm. Where can I find those?”
You pushed away from the counter, ducking down and leaving Jongseob’s sight. Strangely, it took everything in him to not lean over the counter to watch, but he didn’t have to as you popped up shortly after, startling him into leaning back a little.
“Lucky for you, I haven’t put these back on the shelf. Here,” You said, pushing the books towards him, “You can read the backs!”
Jongseob reached out, picking up The Great Gatsby first, breathing in deeply before he started to read, already worried about seeming like a dumbass more than he has in his life
He began to skim through the paragraph in the back. A skim, because he would read a few words, think about it, and look up at you as sneakily as he could. By the time he remembered what he had to be doing, he had lost his place and skipped a few words as he repeated this method.
Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald's third book…She’s pretty…Jazz Age…Generations of readers….She’s not doing anything, but she’s so pretty…A Story of the fabulously wealthy Jay Gatsby and his love for the beautiful Daisy Buchanan…Can she see me looking?…Lavish parties…"gin was the national drink and sex the national obsession,"…God, I think she saw me stare…Exquisitely crafted tale…1920s….one of the great classics of twentieth-century literature.
As Jongseob started to lower the book from his line of view, you took note, stopping from scanning the barcodes of recently returned books to look at him. “What’d you think?” You asked him enthusiastically, genuinely curious to know.
Jongseob stayed quiet for a few seconds, partly because he was trying to process both what he just read, but also that you were standing in front of him again and he shouldn’t be this nervous. “Uh…so it’s, about parties? And some guy who’s in love with a girl?”
Hearing the extremely simplified yet somehow accurate summarization of the book from Jongseob, you giggled, the back of your hand coming to your mouth momentarily before looking back at him with a smile. Jongseob should NOT have felt so many emotions from a simple laugh. “Pretty much. But, like it said, super fancy parties. Not like the regular house parties we know. Most of the characters are crazy rich."
Jongseob pulled his gaze to the counter, placing it down as his rings made a noise grazing the wooden surface, still recovering from the sound of your laugh. “I don’t go to parties, so…don’t know what they’re like, but I’ll keep that in mind.” Jongseob said, before his eyes darted up to you. Why’d he say that? Was that rude, awkward, or worse, stupid? Why does he want you to know he doesn’t go to parties? I mean, he doesn’t, but is he already trying to convince you he’s not as much of a jackass as he looks?
Either way, you had definitely taken him as the type to go to parties, and that was evident by the way your eyes widened a little. Just subtly enough that if Jongseob wasn’t staring right at them, he might have not noticed. “Ah..., I see...,” you say through a smile, “Well..., I don’t either, but still, you’ll see the difference!”
You pushed the other book towards him, Jongseob watching your every movement. “Read the other! I think this one is the more interesting of the two!”
Jongseob nods, picking up the back of Animal Farm, prying his eyes off of you as he breathes and prepares himself for another synopsis with unnecessarily big words. With an internal sigh, he tries to shake off any surrounding thoughts to get a better grasp on this one.
A farm is taken over by its overworked, mistreated animals. With flaming idealism and stirring slogans, they set out to create a paradise of progress, justice, and equality. Thus, the stage is set for one of the most telling satiric fables ever penned—a razor-edged fairy tale for grown-ups that records the evolution from revolution against tyranny to a totalitarianism just as terrible.
Jongseob can just tell his eyebrows are a little contorted. Despite not having an absolute grasp on what exactly tyranny and totalitarianism was, what he got from that was some poorly treated animals took over a farm, and somehow started to run it themselves? He wondered for a second if he was still high from yesterday, before you entered and cleared any confusion.
“Yeah, that one can seem a bit odd,” you said as you walked back over to him. “But it is in fact about farm animals who take over their farm. Just with the added element of how power corrupts. I swear, it’s interesting once you start it up.”
Jongseob looks down at it, using every part of his brain that was tied to memory as he tried to pick apart the word totalitarianism. “So what, the animals turn into like, Stalin and all those other guys?”
You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, just like that actually! George Orwell wanted the book to be an allegory, or a…hidden message, that represents the Russian revolution.”
Jongseob nods, a smugger look on his face knowing that he accidentally hit it on the dot. If only Keeho could see him right now. It quickly turned into him looking like an idiot, however, as not only could he simultaneously not stop looking at you but avoiding eye contact, but he also wanted to hear you talk more, with no clue what to say. It was in this moment where he remembered that deep down, he was just a loser. Why can’t he speak? You were just a girl, after all. What should he say? Does he even say anything? Can you tell that he’s nervous? And again, he shouldn’t be this nervous-
“So, you want to check them out? I can do that for you.” You said as his thoughts whirled, reminding him that he was standing in a public library.
Jongseob hands grab at his jeans as his hands fall to his sides. He nods as he manages to slow his heart rate. “Yeah, I’ll take them.”
The next few minutes are spent with you and Jongseob going back and forth. Asking if he has a library card, Jongseob says yes, not wanting you to think this is the first time he’s ever been around a book, but he actually doesn’t know. You ask him for his number, put it in the system, and it turns out he doesn’t actually have a card.
Eventually, Jongseob ends up with a library card and Animal Farm and The Great Gatsby checked out under his name. As you slid the books back over to him, telling him he was all set with that stupidly sweet smile, he froze.
“So, how long do you think these will take me to read?”
He doesn’t know why he said anything, when he could’ve just bid you farewell and been on his merry way. Well, actually, he does know. He needed to talk to you more and blurted the first question to come up in his mind. It’s just embarrassing to admit.
You tilted your head at him, thinking about it with inquisition, “Hm, well they’re both only a little over 100 pages…How long did it take you to read your last book?”
He really should’ve just walked away.
“Maybe…like a week.”
Lies. Such a lie. He could only pray the questions stopped there.
“And how long was it?”
Jongseob paused, pretending to think about it, but in his mind scrambling for any impressive number. Over 200 pages was good right? No, too little. 300? 500?
“Um…I think around, 620…?”
You didn’t have to know 6 represented the number of members in his band, and 20 derived from the number that represents his favorite substance.
But of course, you believed him. Having no reason to doubt, really. Looking pleasantly surprised, you nodded. “That’s pretty good! I think both should definitely take you no more than a week.”
If Jongseob already wasn’t feeling embarrassed, he was now also overwhelmed with annoyance. Less than a week implied a few days, and he had never spent more than 10 minutes reading. Still, he tried his best to feign indifference, nodding his head. “Alright, well, thank you.”
You waved at him as he pushed away from the counter. “Anytime! I look forward to hearing your thoughts!”
Jongseob smiled politely, and turned around to walk away, letting go of a breath he had definitely been holding since he walked in.
His headphones slipped back on as he recalled everything that had just happened. Not only does he now have two books in his hand that are definitely biting off more than he can chew, he interacted with the prettiest girl who he has seen in a while but likely made a fool of himself and lied straight to her face.
He shook his head, wishing he could exit his body and relentlessly slap himself as he clenched on the books, swearing he would take this to the grave. Only the lord knew if his friends found out it would never die down.
Yeah, he was never coming back. And he certainly wasn’t reading these snoozefests. Jongseob had accepted defeat.
★彡
It had only been four days since he came that the blonde boy was back.
You have always loved reading. For most people, reading was something that they just had to do throughout school. Ever since you remember though, reading was never just a chore.
Since you were old enough, you made it your life’s mission to read whatever you could get your hands on. Prose, Poems, Novels, Biographies, Memoirs, Trilogies, Nonfiction, Fiction, Plays, and everything and anything in between.
If that made you a goody-two-shoes or not, you didn’t care. You were simply too busy immersing yourself in everything the well educated in society had to say, whether it was recent or from 500 years ago.
You always knew you wanted to pursue a type of career where you would somehow be involved in written media, in any way, shape, or form. Therefore, when an internship for a weekday position as an assistant librarian presented itself, you were all over the opportunity.
The job was going well. Afterall, you were getting paid to be surrounded by what you loved most. Sure, there would always be the rather fascinating people that you had to handle, but that came along with any job.
Jongseob, as the name on his file states, was certainly one of them.
It was odd enough that someone was asking for book recommendations with the criteria of being, ‘the most important, you know?’ but to continue to have a roller coaster of a conversation, bouncing from parties to hearing he allegedly read over 600 pages in a week.
You like to believe that literature always found people in life when they needed it. And throughout the time you spent at the library, you had come across many different characters reaching that point of their lives.
But never someone like Jongseob. Someone who looked like he was out of a rock band, throwing or attending the heaviest ragers in town during the weekends, and overall being what society liked to call an outsider. Someone who was now pushing through the wooden double doors of the library and making a b-line to the front desk with books in hand you thought you’d never see again.
You smiled up at him from your computer. Surely, he wouldn’t be here for long if he was back so soon.
“Hello again! Didn’t like the books?” You said, watching him as he leaned against the counter again, taking in his what seemed to be classic dazed appearance adorned with baggy all black and a chain or two. Yeah, surely, he was just dropping them off.
“Nah, I finished them…I have…lots of questions, though.”
That, you certainly weren’t expecting.
Regardless of how shocking the news may be, you were ecstatic. Not only that you had helped encourage a new person to read, but this person now had questions. Even someone like him. You started to feel almost guilty for writing him off into a stereotype he might be sick of so quickly but beamed as you stood up to stand in front of him eager for this. “I’m sure I have answers.”
Jongseob seemed to ground himself with a sigh as he grabbed ‘Animal Farm’ in his hands. “You were right, this one was interesting when I started. So… that one pig Napoleon, he really trained those puppies just so he could gain power?”
You nodded as you looked down and back at him, finding the curiosity and questioning in his face pretty…. endearing. “Uh, yeah, seems like it. Also, as a way of keeping the rest of the farm scared, they were supposed to be representative of soldiers and officers.” You explained with a smile.
Jongseob nodded in understanding, his eyes narrowing as he searched for his next words. “I don’t get why Boxer was so loyal…I mean, I get he was dumb and all…but even then he couldn’t see what was happening?”
You hummed in understanding, noting the way he waited for your word. “Well…since the book is an allegory to the Russian revolution, Boxer is supposed to be the Russian working class. They weren’t dumb…just tricked into doing work, similar to Boxer.”
This time it was Jongseob’s turn to nod as he looked down at the book, and this time seeming to have a much better grasp on the conversation than the first time he came around. “It was…it was pretty alright. I think it’s cool he did that, the author.” Jongseob began as he looked up, his hands tapping on the counter as he spoke to you with intrigue.
“He made the revolution easy to understand through a story about…pigs. That’s pretty cool, honestly. Cause I definitely didn’t understand any of that in sch-…….” Jongseob was saying before he seemed to freeze, his expression going sheepish as he stopped himself from finishing his sentence. “Um, yeah. Good book.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the save. Clearly, before this book, he hadn’t had a clue what happened during any revolution for that matter. Yet he didn’t want to let you know that. Perhaps from embarrassment, or an attempt to impress you. For some very odd reason, you were hoping it was the latter. You motioned to the second book at the counter, “What about Great Gatsby?”
Jongseob blinked himself to his default before he put down Animal Farm, switching the subject to the second book he read. “That one was ... it wasn't complicated but…hard to sit though?” He said, looking up to meet your eyes to check if that hadn’t hopefully passed as a ‘it was majorly confusing!’ “It’s about…money, right? Or…how people obsess too much over it and stuff.”
You nodded eagerly in approval, happy that even if he could barely get through it, he at least took away the most important aspect of the book. “Yeah! It played with the ideas of old money and new money, but at the end of the day, money was a major theme.”
Jongseob’s shoulders relaxed as if he had passed a quiz, and he leaned against the counter with a less tense demeanor. “So, the Gatsby guy, he threw all those parties for Daisy. But…I don’t know. How could he expect a girl he dated for a month to wait 5 years for him?”
You pondered the question. It typically wasn’t one people asked, but he had a point. “He thought their love was strong enough, I guess. Maybe it was at some point, but not when they met 5 years later.
His face contorted a bit, as his head tilted like a confused animal. “She clearly didn’t love Tom either.” He remarked, and it was amusing how the conversation could pass as two people discussing a cheesy romance novel.
You shrugged and hummed in agreement with him. “No, but, greater than the love she once had for Gatsby, she loved the wealth and status Tom could give her more.”
Jongseob scoffed standing straighter up as both his palms rested on the counter. It was nice to see someone feeling everything that Fitzgerald likely wanted the reader to feel from the book, but somehow comedic to see that Jongseob almost seemed to be taking it personally. “That’s fu-, I mean, that’s messed up. How weird do you have to be to choose that over love? Gatsby was loaded too, it's only cause' she wanted old money or whatever. And then, letting Gatsby get killed for Myrtle's death, when she was driving? I don’t think she ever loved him, honestly.”
It wasn’t the first time you talked to someone about books, but maybe the first that it was to someone your age that looked like this and seemed to be just as into it as you are. That made it all the more exciting. “My favorite part of that book was the last chapter. I think it really ties it all together how Gatsby had all these socialites, luxury, material things around him, but no one came to his funeral. Really makes you think, right?”
Jongseob nodded, a small turn in the corner of his mouth as he looked at you. “Yeah, it really did.” Jongseob said as he slid the books across to you, “I guess I’ll…return these now.” He said with an expression you couldn’t quite place.
You took the books back with a smile, making quick work of scanning them as you spoke. “I hope my picks weren’t too boring, but…in terms of most ‘important’, those are definitely a must.”
He stood with a hand in his hair, staring at you with pursed lips as you finished scanning his books. “Is there…a section where I can find more…?”
Your eyes brightened as you looked up at him, processing his question before feeling a smile come across your face. “More? Ah…well, the classic literature shelf. That’s where these came from.”
If you weren’t reading him so intensely, you wouldn’t have noticed the red tinge of color on his complexion, as his hand played with his sleeves. “Could you show me where?”
It was such a simple request, but it made your body stutter, almost as if you were nervous. When really, this was simply another visitor of the public library who it was your job to help. There was really no need to be nervous. I mean, he was just a guy with a grunge look to him (and not importantly, a flustered mess) that came in looking like a problem but turned out to be one of the most recipient and easiest people to converse with. Nothing special.
“Yeah! I can show you!” You said as you stood up, going around the counter to motion at Jongseob to follow you.
When he had reached you and you began to lead him, he was taller than you expected, reaching over you only a little, but enough for it to be noticed. But not important. Also unimportantly, he smelled clean with a certain musk to him, in a good way. Again, Unimportant.
Jongseob followed you for a few feet with his hands in his pockets, stopping abruptly just next to you as you stood in front of the beefy shelf with your hands spread out. “This is it! I can leave you to it.” You said, turning your head right to look at him, hitting ridiculously large brown eyes boring into you. “Or…help you, if you want…”
Jongseob looked at the shelf for a moment, without looking your way, speaking up. “I never got your name.”
That shouldn’t have made your heart momentarily race, but alas, it did. You kept your eyes on him as you answered, your hands hidden behind your back. “Oh…sorry! It’s y/n.”
He kept his eyes scanning over the many options, but it didn’t feel like he was looking at the books. More like he didn't yet want to look at you. He contemplated with himself for a moment, before quietly yet loud enough for you to hear, he spoke. “Y/n….”
“Show me your favorites.”
★彡
The weeks that followed were something of a blur. When Jongseob had returned home from his first visit to the library, he sprawled on the ground, just staring at his books. It was insane to him that he had walked in with the intention to boost his pride, but now that was the last thing on his mind.
All he could think about was a stupid side braid, glasses, and voice that shouldn’t have been running in his head that much.
Sometimes, you meet people who intrigue you so much that you want to talk to them endlessly, about anything and everything. But, that meant having the courage to engage in a conversation of that sort. Jongseob thought he was strong enough to fight past the initial nerves, but after his performance in the library, he clearly was not.
Besides, what would he talk to you about? He doubted you were interested in hearing about his douche band or the stupid thing he and his friends had done recently. Overall, he was certain it was a lost cause.
Jongseob sat up faster than ever when he realized something. Surely, a librarian would love to talk about books. And he had two in his possession that you had just recommended.
Suddenly, it seemed he had the motivation to sit himself down and force his eyes to take in every word of every page of the books you had recommended. And surprisingly, it was…. not too bad? Animal Farm was a heck of an allegory (whatever that was) and The Great Gatsby used more big words than he thought was necessary, but managed to intrigue him nonetheless.
Jongseob made a point to b-line for the library as soon as he was finished to report back to you. After a conversation he’d never imagine he would have, he knew he was crazy. And not about the books.
It didn’t seem fair to him that someone could have such a comfortable voice when they spoke about something they liked, a perfect pink color when they seemed even slightly shy, or an addictive crease of their eyes whenever they smiled.
He knew then he was going to be seeing much more of that library. (You.)
He took one recommendation after the next, to Of Mice and Men, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Metamorphosis, The Stranger, and whatever else he had read that he already lost track of.
With every book, he asked himself why he had always deemed he hated reading, when it’s actually not all that bad. The books were interesting, and even more so when he thought about the effort and creativity that went into writing one. He figured it wasn’t much different than music or performing, someone has a vision and sees it through. Books were just an amped up version of that.
He was reading books front to back so often that he was seeing you frequently. So often you could tell it was him by the way the doors closed softer than usual, his clunky shoes and rattling chains echoing before you could even see him. So often he knew what your exact schedule was, when it was the best time to see you. So often that every time he came, grinning with that snaggletooth, it made your whole face warm in a fuzzy feeling. So often that you’d recommend the shorter books you knew he would fly through easier, so he would come back sooner.
And when reading a whole book and returning it wasn’t frequent enough, he started to come in just to ask you about whatever part he’s read so far. He was hesitant at first, because surely you would know by that point that there was more to it than just expanding his literary knowledge. Yet, when he came in and asked you to explain a chapter of The Metamorphosis, catching you as you were busy stashing books back on their respective shelves, you stared at him blankly for a few seconds.
He was certain you were weirded out to your core, but then that candy pink glow was back, and you smiled down at the floor before looking at him with these stupidly addictive eyes.
“Do you actually have a question, or did you just want to talk to me?”
Jongseob’s breath hitched, and surely, he looked pathetic as he clammily fumbled with the book in his hands, his entire body on fire.
“Can’t it be both?”
There was no library big enough to fit all the books he would read just to see your face light up as you talked about the things you loved, which he quickly came to know were more than just books. You also liked listening to music (not the kind his band makes, which totally didn’t hurt his feelings), taking strolls through the city while listening to said music, thrifting for clothes at secondhand stores and loving to find pieces that remind you of ‘grandma clothing’, and stargazing. One of your favorite spots being the grassy hill in town that was barely tall enough that if you angled yourself in just the right position, you couldn’t see the bustling streets under it, just the stars that were bright enough to shine.
Although he was hesitant at first, Jongseob opened up to you as well. He told you about his band and their hip-hop/noise music/all-over-the-place style. His love for wearing dark, layered clothes and chains. He told you about how much he likes to rap and write his own lyrics, how it’s the way he met his friends in the first place. Speaking of his friends, he let you in on the delinquency that they’re often caught up in, that he claimed he wasn’t that proud of with a smirk on his face.
As he explained to you that being dubbed the “worst” in his friend group was the reason why he picked up reading, he was nervous that you would see him differently. Up until then, although you may have had your speculations, he was just a guy with a much different aesthetic compared to yours that happened to share the same interest in books. But he felt he knew you well enough to know that you wouldn’t criticize him like that, and he was proven right when you only giggled at the thought.
“That’s impressive, though. Really, there aren’t many people who can recognize that they need to read a little more. I’m glad they teased you for it. After all, how would we have become friends?”
Jongseob needed a long breather after you said that one. For many reasons, the most pressing, the word friends.
It excited him but discouraged him all the same. He was pleasantly surprised that someone like you would consider him a friend, even knowing everything you got to know about him the past two months or so. Yet also discouraged, because it’s exactly what he was to you.
A friend doesn’t inch closer to you as you sit on the same table, just so he could take in your warmth and scent a little better. A friend doesn’t have the image of you pushing up your glasses as you talk to him imprinted in his mind. A friend doesn’t find himself zoning out on a conversation about the book he just read, taking dangerously long glances at pink lips, wondering what it would feel like if he just-
No, a friend wouldn’t do any of this. Yet that’s all you were to him.
Jongseob knows he’s not exactly the best at NOT wearing his emotion on his sleeves. You were also the smartest person he had ever known, not an idiot that would miss the psychological clues he can’t hide about how he has the fattest crush on you.
It would be one thing if you made it clear that you weren’t interested, but…you never gave that impression in the slightest. If anything, sometimes he wondered if the way your cheeks would go from shades of red and pink was for everybody, or just him. He wondered if he wasn’t actually seeing things when he swore in the corner of his eye you would stare at him until he looked back up.
These were the thoughts that had been racking his mind, running every scenario, every glance, every desire in dizzying circles. Surely, you had to have at least thought about it before, right? He didn’t know, and he wasn’t going to make a fool of himself and ruin something so great by asking you. So, he decided he would wait for a signal— whatever that was—to let him know he was actually in. In the meantime, he’d have to settle with only being your friend.
Today, he found himself in the narrow space of two tall bookshelves. Jongseob sat against one side with his legs tucked, flicking his pen back and forth through his hands as a beat poured through his headphones. Of course, you sat on the opposite side, your book propped up against your knee with that look of focus that came up every time you read. He tried not to pay attention to the way both of your legs were centimeters from touching, or else he'd probably explode.
The both of you were waiting for the library to clear out as it closed to the public, having made plans to go to a cafe downtown. It had become somewhat of a routine to leave the library and do something fun every week. He didn’t have to wait with you, but he found that you were the type of person that even comfortable silence was enjoyable. It even made him focus better.
So, Jongseob sat engrossed in the notebook in his lap, reading over lyrics that he had written down so far and bobbing his head along. He had made pretty good progress after he finally managed to stop himself from sneaking glances at you. He was too engrossed though, to the point where he hadn’t noticed the library go even more pin silent then it already was as you and him were the only ones left. Or the way you had put your book down and were staring at him after you had called his name twice with no answer.
He noticed when your hand reached out and pulled one of his earbuds out however, and his heart nearly stopped at how gently you did it, and how closely leaned in you were as you smiled at him. “Is the song that good?” You teased.
He held his breath until you backed away, letting out a shaky exhale as the distance he was accustomed to returned, and he could finally return the grin as he took out the other earbud. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t know how I missed you.” He said as he rolled up the earbuds and put them in his bag next to him. “It’s not a song…just a beat. We wanna play a new song for the gig I told you about in two weeks but...I’ve been stumped. Couldn’t write a single lyric until now.”
You hummed in understanding, pushing a strand of hair out of your face as you tried to peek at his notebook. “Did you get a lot done?”
Jongseob nodded with a proud grin, his lips slightly pursed, holding up his notebook to show you the lyrics he had written, only his beaming eyes visible behind it.
You nodded with slightly wide eyes leaning in to skim over some of the words, and an endeared smile on your face as you looked at the doodles littered around the writing. “That’s pretty good! 2 verses there at least.” You said with a small clap as Jongseob put his notebook away as well, returning his attention back to you.
“What about you? How was your book?” He asked, tilting his head to try and read the title, which you noted looked a lot like a cat.
You handed your book to him adorned with a black cat bookmark, so he could read it himself. You were reading A Midsummer’s Night Dream. “I like it so far! It’s actually a play; remember I told you William Shakespeare is most famous for those?”
Jongseob hummed, nodding his head as he looked at you intently as you began your rant, “Yeah, the guy who wrote Romeo and Juliet, right?”
You nodded as he handed you the book back, flipping through the pages carelessly as you spoke. “That’s the one. One day, we have to work you up to read one of his plays. They really are amazing. If I ever write something, I want it to be so meaningful it’s still important hundreds of years later, you know? That’s always been the dream, to say something in my writing and have so many people listen, kind of like he did.”
Jongseob watched as you trailed off into your own thoughts as you stared down at the book, that familiar twinkle in your eye as you thought about your future, your goals, how you knew exactly what you wanted. It was one of the many things he liked about you, and at that moment it brought a strange heart-sinking feeling. He sighed as he shook himself off. “What’s it about?”
You broke out of your trance as you heard the question, perking up as you started another passionate conversation. “Well, it’s a comedic play, and it’s got a lot of different themes, like magic…dreams…jealousy…but the main one is love, or how it’s difficult.”
Jongseob is suddenly paying more attention now. “Difficult?”
You nod as you search for your next words. “Yeah, the plot of the story revolves around a love potion, where the characters fall for each other based on their looks and nothing else. A main point though is when love is…out of balance. So, like a romantic relationship that is interfered with by the differences or inequalities of two people.”
Jongseob was listening to what you were saying, but his brain was processing it differently. Dissecting each and every word, and this time his face of adoration and focus on you was laced with something else you were too busy explaining to name.
“Like… these two characters,” you continue as you talk with your hands, immersed in telling the story. “Bottom and Titania. Titania is beautiful and graceful and this enigma, while Bottom is clumsy and ugly, but she still falls in love with him. Well, because of the potion, but still goes to show that imbalance. Listen to this quote, I really liked it,”
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind.”
Jongseob hates the way he felt, the way that he couldn’t look at you now, but there was a clear thought that invaded his mind and kept eating away at it. He stayed quiet and solemn long enough for you to notice, and as soon as you went to ask him if he was alright, he beat you to it.
“I’m…your friend, right? You like me?”
There was a pin drop silence added to the already dead silent library, but it was loud. All Jongseob could hear was the blood rushing through his head as he looked at your confused and wide eyes.
Your expression twisted slightly in confusion as you looked at him, swallowing before answering. “What? Of…of course I like you. You’re my friend.”
Jongseob’s knuckles went white as he gripped his bag tight. You had seen many emotions on his expressive face, but never this, never one that looked so defeated.
You could barely process what that meant as he stood up, throwing his bag on his back as he looked down at you. “I have to go. Sorry, Y/n.”
He started walking away before you could even register it, sliding your book off your lap as you hurriedly stumbled to your feet, staring at his back with nothing but a sinister mixture of confusion and frustration. “Seob, wait! What happened?” You questioned, your voice raising the loudest it ever has in that room.
A part of you wanted to go after him, grill him and insist that he told you what was wrong, what made him feel that way. But Jongseob was already exiting the door, too fast to even consider it, and something told you he wouldn’t tell you anyway.
Since you met Jongseob, all you had been met with was a cheeky smile and a rosy fluster, all your favorite images of him. This time however, the only one that ran through your mind was the way he had just looked at you.
Like he had lost something.
★彡
Monday, 8:34pm
y/n (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶): hi jongseob. i haven’t seen you since yesterday. you left pretty upset. if you need to talk, you know you’re always welcome
Wednesday, 10:09am
y/n (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶): good morning seob, please remember my last message. you know what times i’ll be here
Friday, 11:08pm
y/n (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶): at least let me know that you’re alright.
It was a pretty standard Saturday night. Jongseob’s friends in the upstairs of Theo’s home, probably eating pizza or pregaming for a party, Jongseob and Shota sprawled on the bean bag chairs, blasting music.
The only difference might be the big fat book in Jongseob’s hands.
He doesn’t know why he’s still reading, when he had given up on ever having a chance with you. Yet here he was, Sense and Sensibility on its 162nd page, even rejecting Shota’s advances to play Mario Kart instead.
The last time he had seen you, something that he had been trying to avoid so long had dawned on him. He liked you. So much. To the point where sometimes it was debilitating. Likely chances were that you could possibly like him as well.
That wasn’t what he had been avoiding, however. Jongseob was very certain of that fact. He realized why he was only ever going to be your friend. You were just like Tatania—or whatever her name was—smart, goal oriented, knew what you wanted, and God. So, so beautiful.
Meanwhile, Jongseob was just that other guy. Sure, maybe he wasn’t the ugliest, he likes to think he does pretty well for himself. He also wasn’t terribly clumsy like the character from the play.
In real life however, he was a total failure in your light. Getting high on the weekends and drifting around with his friends for the hell of it. Holding onto this false idea of being able to make a band work as a career one day. And although it is a long, complicated, and layered story, he had in fact been in the back of a cop car once.
The both of you were a real-life version of a love “out of balance.” Hearing those words verbalized by you without you even realizing it had shattered down all the walls he put up attempting to mask that very truth.
The way you had spoken about love being about the mind was another deafening blow. It would make sense that someone like you would want someone sophisticated, well spoken, mature. No, it was what you deserved.
It had dawned on him that he probably wasn’t any of these things to you.
He had to leave that day. Had he not, he would have broken down on the spot. So he did what he felt was right, and valiantly exited out.
Or at least, he thinks it’s right. He doesn’t know. He’s read your messages, wondered how you must be feeling, and he becomes conflicted all over again.
Like now, when the mere recollection of the events of the past week had caused him to groan and flop back, shutting his book as he looked over at Shota, eyes glued to the TV with a disposable weed pen and the switch controller in his hands.
He sighed as he sat back, staring at the book in his lap. The words were too big anyway, and there was a lot going on that he needed help dissecting. Knowing just the person who could help made it ten times worse.
He didn’t know if he had made the right choice. The only thing certain is that he hardly deserved you as a friend. Let alone a lover.
Jongseob groaned before sitting up straighter, putting his book on the table next to him, his arms on his knees. “Shota, let me borrow your pen.”
Shota glanced over at Jongseob quickly, before turning back to the Mario Kart screen to pause it. Then, looking back at Jongseob again with an incredulous look on his face. He put down his controls, before turning around and cupping his face, screaming, “Steph!! Come down here!”
As Shota turned back to Jongseob, Jongseob gave him a look of annoyance and confusion, to which the other boy only shrugged and continued his game.
Keeho came down the stairs mere moments later, scanning the basement until it landed on both boys. “What is it, Sho?”
“Jongseob’s trying to get high out of his mind again.” Shota said, not once taking his eyes off the screen.
Jongseob groaned yet again as Keeho walked up to them, throwing his head back in irritation. “All of a sudden everyone’s trying to be saints.”
Keeho sighed as he sat on a stool, shaking his head at him. “And you’re trying to be dead. Theo told me you’ve been loitering around down here getting high all damn week with that book.” He said, nodding to Jane Austen’s novel on the table. “Something’s up.”
Jongseob sighed, averting his gaze from Keeho to the Mario Kart screen. “Nothing is up. I just… wanna get high more. That’s all.”
Keeho rolled his eyes, boring them right back into Jongseob. “Last time you felt like that turns out you were sulking over that stupid game you play. Spill.”
Jongseob shook his head in a soft motion, looking down at the floor. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”
Keeho stayed quiet for a moment, before speaking up again. “So…it’s a girl.”
Jongseob buried his hands in his face, hearing the game of Mario Kart pause once again as four eyes bored into him now. “God…why do you always jump to the furthest conclusion?”
Keeho scoffed, shaking Jongseob by the shoulders a bit. “But I didn’t this time. It’s a girl. You think we don’t notice how you disappear for hours? Try to dress nicer, wear cologne? Read those books?”
Jongseob rubbed his eyes, looking at the ceiling, sighing in defeat. He had reached a point where he couldn’t deny it even if he tried with the way Shota and Keeho were burning holes into him. Even if he was able to, there was something strangely comforting about his cover being blown. Like he was given the chance to at least get a small weight off his chest.
“Maybe…there is a girl.” Jongseob murmured, his hand tracing down his eyes as they fluttered shut and all he could see was you.
“Don’t leave out anything.” Keeho said, leaning in closer to make sure he heard every word. It was rare that Jongseob was ever this distraught.
Jongseob didn’t even know where to begin, how to cover everything he had felt in the past few months. So, he simply decided to let his thoughts blurt out in whatever order they came in and go from there. “She…She’s perfect.”
His breath went on shaky as his scramble of words continued. “She works at the library. I only met her because all of you made fun of me, saying I’m the biggest slack and idiot, I needed to prove that wrong. I was only supposed to read one or two books. But…she was there. So smart and nice and God–way too pretty. How could I not like her?”
Jongseob swallowed a lump in his throat as he sat up, his head dangled to the ground. “So, I just kept reading so I could talk to her. And it wasn’t bad, I liked it. I liked her more. We became friends eventually, and I kept telling myself…maybe I had a chance. We spent so much time together, got along well, so maybe…she’d like me back one day.”
“I was with her last Sunday, and I just stormed out. I just…I realized that I can never be more than just her friend. I just can’t.”
Keeho and Shota exchanged glances as they processed his words, with the latter finally speaking as he cleared his throat. “So she rejected you?”
Jongseob shook his head with a frustrated sigh, his emotions whirling faster the more he had to relive this. “No, no. I haven’t even officially told her that I like her.”
The room was quiet a little longer, the silence heavy and brooding as the other two in the room were confused. Keeho breathed in and out before speaking. “So…why can you never be more than her friend?”
If Jongseob had 10% more of a problem with anger issues, or if it was in his nature, he’d get up and yell it in their faces. He didn’t though, and he didn’t have the energy to make it a grand thing either. So, his words could only be described as a pathetic, whiny, ramble.
“You won’t get it. Unless you know her like I do. She’s so kind…even to someone like me. The smartest person I’ve met. She’s got such a drive, determination, and knows what she wants in the future. The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. She’s perfect. And me? I smoke and drink and I do stupid shit when I’m with you guys. I’m in a band thinking I’ll make it far in life that way. And even though it’s gotten better now that I read, I must be the dumbest guy on earth. You guys were right; I really had never picked up a book. And as much as I try to match her, I won’t get there. She’s perfect, and I’m not even good. Not even average.”
If he could exit his body and hit himself for laying out all of his insecurities, he would. It was too late now, however. So, it wouldn’t hurt anyone for Jongseob to say everything he had been wanting to.
“It’s not that we can’t be anything more than friends. Who knows, maybe we could. It’s just that I don’t deserve to be anything more with her.”
It was all embarrassing for Jongseob. The silence of Keeho and Shota, the way that whole monologue sounded somehow even more pathetic aloud than in his head, the way he couldn’t look anyone in the eye. He thought to himself this is why he didn’t say anything from the beginning.
“All that stuff I said about you being ‘the worst’ of us all, do you really believe it?”
Jongseob looked up from the floor, finding Shota had scooted closer, and Keeho was looking at him with a sincerity he rarely got from his friends as they had always been lighthearted with each other.
“I mean…it makes sense. I kind of am.”
Keeho sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with a shake of his head. “First of all, I was blasted out of my mind when I said that. You know we shouldn’t take any of each other’s words seriously by that point.” Keeho explained with a scolding look in his eye. “Second of all, you are not some lowlife drifter, Seob. Well…maybe on occasion, you are. But you know what you also are? The youngest.”
Jongseob was looking at him with questioning eyes, his lip caught in his teeth as he listened to his older friend speak.
“Jongseob, you’re only 19. I can assure you, Theo and I were doing much worse at that age. Sure, you get into some trouble, enjoy some things you shouldn’t enjoy,” Keeho said, as he looked over to grab the disposable in Shota’s hand and pocket it away. “But that doesn’t take away from the good qualities that landed you five friends that see you as family. You may be rough around the edges, but deep down you’re a good kid. You’re nice when it counts, passionate about the things you like. Total cutie, too. Right, Sho?”
Jongseob searched Keeho’s face for any deceit, finding none. He was only more reassured when he looked over to Shota, finding him nodding eagerly.
“And trust me, you have all the time in the world to grow into that identity and retire that delinquent title. And I know you will when you’re ready.” Keeho said, a small smile on the corner of his lips. “So don’t push what sounds like an amazing girl away because you’re still figuring your shit out. Who knows, she probably sees the same things in you that we do. If she’s as nice and smart as you say she is, she’ll hold her own against a jerk like you if that’s what she wants. You deserve it just as much as any other asshole.”
It was always strange how his friends had the power to turn Jongseob’s mood in a complete 180. Because now he was smiling, and suddenly the cloud of moodiness and a sour mix of emotions hovering over him the past few months had started to clear, and the words Keeho had said made much more sense than Jongseob’s little outburst.
“Shota…Hyung…Thank you. I needed someone to tell me that.” Jongseob said, taking a deep breath as he sat up straight.
Keeho smiled, reaching over to fluff up Jongseob’s blonde hair. “You still have a problem, though. Have you talked to her since sunday?”
The momentarily lifted weight off Jongseob’s shoulders returned once again, and he sighed as he rubbed his eyes. “Fuck. I haven’t. I doubt she wants anything to do with me at this point.”
Keeho shook his head as he stood up, grabbing Jongseob by his shoulders. “No, shut up. You can still fix it; it just has to be now.”
Jongseob looked up at him with his eyebrows in a furrow. “Now? As in…right now?”
Shota took the keys out of his pocket, throwing them over to Jongseob. “Take the car.”
Keeho dragged Jongseob to his feet, throwing a nearby hoodie at him as he grabbed him like a coach talking to his quarterback before the game. “Don’t think about it. Just go. Before it’s too late.”
Jongseob could barely process throwing the hoodie on, his blonde hair messy as he was pushed out of the house by Keeho and Shota, and suddenly he was driving.
Jongseob had a new mindset, but his palms were sweating, sliding around on the steering wheel. He knew he needed to see you, but he wasn’t sure what he would say. He told himself it had to be the truth, and only the truth. It was what you deserved. All he had to do was find you now.
He drove by the library, but as he glanced at the time, it was already 7:30. It had been closed for half an hour, and it looked completely locked up already.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, asking himself where you could be. His eyes lit up as he remembered something, the car making a quick U-turn as he drove the direction he had just come from.
Mere minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot of the local park, making swift work of stumbling out and locking the car behind him. Jongseob started walking towards the back of the park, his legs tiring out as he started frantically going uphill. The city’s best spot for stargazing, the one you loved.
Even though he wasn’t sure you’d be there, he kept going anyway. It was a pretty good guess, and it proved to be right as more stars and less city came into view, and you sat there with your legs close to your chest as you looked up.
As he reached the top, a foot came down too loud, loud enough for it startle you out of your thoughts. You turned around initially anxious, almost immediately standing up, but your face softened once you made it out to be him. “Jongseob? What are you doing here?”
He took a couple quick breaths as he stood in front of you, breathless for many different reasons and taking in the face he had missed seeing. “Looking for you.” He said quietly, his eyes starstruck.
“I haven’t heard from you in a while…what happened? Are you alright?”
Jongseob sighed, nodding his head as he pursed his lips. “I can’t believe I ghosted you for a week and you’re still worried about me. I’m fine, Y/n. I just had to sort through some things.”
“I’m just worried about what happened the last time we saw each other. You left pretty angry, I don’t know if I said or did something.” You said, your hands clammy as you played with them, looking up at him.
Jongseob was just frustrated now, his hands falling to his sides. “No, God, no. You could never do anything wrong.”
Your insistence continued. “It had to have been something. Was it the friend thing? Because I-..” is all you managed to get out, before suddenly a palm was pressed against your mouth.
Jongseob was only left with the option of looking into your eyes, the ones always so big and vibrant and currently weren’t helping the nerves coursing through his body. “You did nothing wrong. I’m the stupid one.”
He slowly pulled his hand back, looking for the courage within himself as he looked at you. Confused, Anxious, probably shivering a bit, wearing a jacket way too light for the time of night. So beautiful. As if you only got prettier the more, he looked and if he kept looking, he was bound to die a blissful death. The sight alone made him understand that bottomless, never-ending love the greats in literature speak of better than a hundred books could. He finally took a deep breath; he couldn’t take it anymore.
“You know, I like you, right? So much. As in way more than a friend?”
Your face flushed red, a color seen even with how dark it was. You swallowed before answering. “Um…I had…an idea.”
He chuckled as he looked at his shoes quickly looking back up to make his eyes meet yours again. “I have ever since I first met you. I like you so much you made me finish a chapter book for the first time in years.”
“That day, when you were talking about that Shakespeare play, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it sounded just like us. Like we were that one out of balance couple. We’re so…different. It made me think..., it could never work.
Jongseob was quiet for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Compared to you, I’m a total doof. I’ve only barely started reading, I like to do dumb things with other dumb people. I skip college to write dumb songs with my dumb friends, and I'm still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. And to me, you’re so perfect in every way imaginable. My complete polar opposite.”
Jongseob stepped closer, without even realizing it, his eyes starry and pleading. “Maybe we are out of balance, maybe every norm or tradition or whatever isn’t in line with this. I realized now that I don’t mind. If you’d let me, I’d do everything to make it work. To show you that no matter how out of balance, it could work. I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense, all the best things never do.”
Your lips quivered a bit, looking at him with your whole body hot. Never in your life did you think you would be living out a love story that you could only fathom reading over and over. And not with the unruly grunge guy that had walked in the library months ago that you had been pining for since.
You wiped your sweaty hands on your clothes, swallowing before you started talking. “A Midsummer’s Night Dream was about…how love looks with the mind, not the eyes.” You began, your voice a little shaky as you tried your best to look him in the eye. “Since I met you…I knew behind the exterior and the stuff you usually get into, you were a good person.”
You smiled as you recalled the first time he came in. “You’re always so expressive, I can read every emotion off your face. You’re curious, always asking questions. Patient, kind, passionate, charismatic. I could keep going, but all this to say,”
“I wouldn’t like you too if I didn’t think we went well together, despite all the differences.”
Jongseob took another step forward, and swears that even if you pinched him, he still wouldn’t believe any of this is real. The way that you looked at him with an adoration and warmth that had always been there, only know he could name it. The way the wind slightly rustled your hair and his, proving that the both of you were here in front of each other. Finally, he spoke softly. “You’re serious?”
You giggled a bit, nodding as you held both of your hands out. “I’m very serious. I like you a lot.”
He took your hands, looking down at them with uncertain brown eyes. They were softer than he could’ve made them out to be in any daydream. Gulping, he asked a question he had been dying to ask since that very first day.
“Y/n…please, can I kiss you?”
His lips were on yours before you knew it. And much to your surprise, it tasted like an unfamiliar mix of chemically fruit flavoring.
☆彡
It had been a week since you and Jongseob had made up, and consequently a week since you started dating. After he had driven you home, he hurriedly popped the question as he hung out the passenger side window, like if he didn’t ask at that moment, there’d never be another chance. And of course, you agreed.
Today was your first date, which ended up being the show he and his band were playing. You stuck out like a sore thumb in a crowd of people dressed just like your boyfriend and his friends, the best outfit you could muster being a brown sweater and a denim skirt with the clunkiest platforms you owned.
You had never been to a small local show, but the energy from the crowd and the band, the setlist and the lights, everything tied together into being an enjoyable first experience.
You and Jongseob were now gathered around his rowdy friends at the back of the venue. You initially were only there to meet his friends, but it turned into a hangout of sorts. A few drinks and cigarettes caused a cheery conversation as they rode through an after-concert high.
You and Jongseob sat on a step with you watching as he and Shota played a game of cards. Shota kept beating him, even as you tried to whisper tips in his ear.
After a while, it was getting late, and after sitting for some time, you were a bit tired. Your head leaning on his shoulder as your energy started to dial down. On top of that, you also had to go to the bathroom.
You tapped Jongseob’s hand, whispering in his ear. “Can you come with me to the bathroom?”
Jongseob nodded, handing his cards to Shota as he shot up, giving you a hand. “Course. I’ll be back, guys.”
He took your hand, leading you through the empty venue, all the way to the bathroom, where he waited outside for you to be finished.
He smiled at you as you came out, noting the slightly more tired smile he got back from you. He put his hand out, wanting you to come closer. “I’m sorry. You’re tired. I’m the designated driver for some of these guys, though.”
You took his hands, pulled into a hug as his hands settled on your waist. “It’s okay,” you told him, your hand reaching up to pinch his cheek. “I get it.”
He chuckled at you, his eyes full of love and a completely smitten look. “I never got to tell you that you look really pretty today.”
His compliment sent a shiver down your spine, every word of endearment being so new still. “I didn’t get to tell you that you looked really good on stage tonight.”
It was Jongseob’s turn to be flustered as his cheeks washed pink, and like he had been doing since he first got a feel for them, he couldn’t stop looking at your lips. “Can I kiss you?”
You giggled, your hand already resting on his face in preparation. “I told you, you don’t have to ask.”
He titled his head, leaning closer as he smirked down at you. “Gotta be a gentleman, right?”
His lips came down on yours soft at first, softly molding them onto his as he got a feel for them. You swear he was trying to memorize every crevice and curve. But, as you put your hands over his own that laid on your waist, dragging them up and down in permission to let him feel, the air shifted.
He gasped shakily on your mouth, in such a needy way that shouldn’t have made your body go hot so quickly. He took the reins of letting his hands run up from your sides all the way down to plump skin that drove him crazy being able to touch.
It wasn’t long before both of your tongues had made their way to each other, and suddenly it was evident to both of you there was something entirely different about this kiss. His hands were all over you, and yours tracing patterns on his chest and arms. There was a newfound lust in this one that both of you couldn’t deny
Yeah, this was different. If it wasn’t clear from the way you were pressing into him. And when you pressed too hard, he let out a soft moan in your mouth that shook you to your core.
He pulled away abruptly, his hands on your shoulders as he stared at you breathless, with new pink lips and a need in his eyes.
You wanted to complain about the distance, but before you could, he was fishing for his car keys in his pocket, his other hand intertwining with yours. “Let’s go to my house.”
Your eyebrows contorted, looking him up and down. “Why? You still have to drive your friends home.”
“They’ll figure it out.” He said, finally pulling out his keys and jangling them in front of you. “Besides…, I can’t fuck you here.”
Your heart skipped a beat as he started pulling you out, but you followed him wordlessly. Something in the way he said it, in a needy way that made him sound even more desperate than he looked had your head reeling with possibility. His friends noticed quickly as you both walked out, Jongseob with a mission to get you to his house as soon as he could. One of them called out—Intak if you remember correctly—noting the way he didn’t stop until he reached the car. “Seob! Where are you going? How do we get home?”
“Get an Uber!” He yelled without looking back, as you turned around and said a small ‘Sorry!’ with a wave.
Jongseob wasted no time in opening the door for you and driving off as soon as you were buckled in. The car pulled out of its parking spot and his hand almost instinctively found its way to your thigh, rubbing the exposed skin your skirt showed in a way that he had to know was making you squirm.
The drive was agonizingly slow, his hand kept running down and getting dangerously close to where you were starting to yearn for him. “Are we…almost there?” You asked a little breathless only a few minutes in, although it had felt like hours.
Jongseob glanced over at you quickly, swallowing thickly at the sight of you clearly impatient for what was to come. “Soon. Just a little longer, angel.”
He made it a point to go faster, as fast as he could without it being borderline dangerous. When he finally reached his house, the tires quietly screeched with how fast he pulled in, and the car was off and in park before you could blink.
His hand disconnected from your thigh, and already his absence was felt. He barely made it around to open your door as you stumbled out as well.
“My parents are asleep.” Jongseob announced, as he led you to the doorstep. You kept a grab on his jacket as he fumbled with his house keys. The more desperate he got, the harder it was to get them to function.
Eventually, the door opened quietly, and he used the same quietness to lock it behind you. After you had both discarded your shoes, with a swift motion his hand was in yours again as he plopped his keys on the table, leading you to his room.
His room was so unbelievably him. Scattered with posters of his favorite rock and indie bands, the biggest being a ‘Plastic Beach’ by the Gorillaz poster in the dead center. Messy and dark bedding, his gaming consoles all over. What had caught your eyes first, was the book you had just checked out to him, neatly stacked on his nightstand.
His room—that smelled only a little like weed—was the least of your concern, however. Not when he plopped himself on his bed, immediately pulling you on his lap to straddle on top of him as his lips crashed onto yours.
His hands only had gotten more adventurous, his whines less and less contained as his tongue immediately found yours again.
You felt like you were heaving into the kiss, it was all too much. The way his mouth danced with yours, your hands grabbing onto his neck, his own gripping at your ass in a way that made you question if this was your boyfriend. Too much, yet you wanted so much more.
Jongseob had started tugging at the hem of your sweater, but before he did anything, he pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva between you both. He looked up at you doe-eyed and out of breath, the sight ethereal. “Do you want this? I’ll stop right now if you don’t.”
You couldn’t have nodded faster, your hips starting to move on their own. “Yeah, of course I do. Please, Seob.”
Jongseob didn’t need to hear anything else as his hands started to get rid of your sweater, swiftly throwing off his own shirt afterwards. All you were left in was your bra, but he didn’t so much as glance at anywhere but your face, he couldn’t until he knew you were fine. “You need to tell me if you ever want to stop.”
You nodded, about to usher him on into continuing before he spoke yet again. "Y/n, I wanna hear you say yes and no, alright? Don't just nod."
You breathed out, the sound trembling as you answered him. "Okay..., Yeah, Yes, I'll do that."
His hands finally went to your back, fumbling with the clasps of your bra for a moment before you reached back, helping him get it off faster.
As it was thrown with the rest of the clothes, his eyes glazed over you, his face hot. Something in his expression that looked like he wanted to consume you. “Fuck…Y/n. You’re perfect. So, so perfect.” Jongseob said breathlessly as his lips found your neck.
Jongseob started peppering kisses wherever his heart desired, his hands reaching up to hesitantly cup your chest. “This okay?” He breathed against you, with you only giving him a shaky ‘yeah’ in response.
His touch felt like a trail of fire, and every kiss, every squeeze, brought a soft moan from your boyfriend, his every thought spilling out in soft chants like he couldn't help but worship “My Y/n…so perfect…so pretty.”
The kissing, the hickeys, the squeezing, it was all euphoric. But with every bit he gave you, you only needed more. Jongseob was too entranced in feeling your every ridge to notice. It was only when your hips rolled into him on their lonesome that he was brought to life, a whine leaving his mouth.
You tried catching your breath before looking him in the eye, your heart beating out of its place. “Jongseob…please, I just....” You told him, your words leaving your mind as you were left blank in a cloud of desire, unsure how to ask for more.
If everything hadn’t driven him off the edge by now, your pleading did, and he nodded as he reached down for the zipper of your skirt, wasting no time in fulfilling your wish. He pressed a kiss by your ear as he spoke into it. “I get it, I get it. Me too." He said softly, his voice so reassuring yet so igniting. "I’m taking these off, Alright Angel? Lift your hips for me.”
You listened to his requests; your lip caught in your teeth as the both of you worked on getting off your pants and the underwear that you had soaked through long ago.
Jongseob looked at you, a sheer layer of sweat already on his face as a strand of hair stuck down on it. His hand reached down, placing a soft kiss on your lips as you finally felt his hand on your throbbing heat. “Let me know if I'm hurting you. I need to prep you first.”
Your face was buried in the crook of his neck as his hand explored you, and despite not having the most experience, he learned quickly. His thumb found your bundle of nerves, tracing soft circles as he listened and studied your every reaction, his free hand roaming up and down your back. It was only a matter of seconds before he found your entrance, already slick with arousal as he inserted one finger in, pressing and running it against your walls.
“Does that feel good?” He asked softly.
You wondered why he even had to ask, especially when you were practically melting in his arms, your body shivering. “It does.” You said in a pant, the way your voice sounded so different yet so familiar going straight in his ear and down to his core.
“I’ll do another.” He announced, inserting a second finger.
He kept his thumb on your clit, continuing those small circles, as he moved his two fingers to press and pump them in and out of you, spreading them wider to loosen you up from time to time. As he did, he continued watching and listening to your quiet moans and sounds of pleasure, sounds that told him he was doing something right.
You were a mess at that point, your body even pressing down into him as he became more rigorous. “Seob…it feels good.”
Jongseob placed a kiss on your head, the sight of you falling apart over him, saying his name as affirmation that it was all him, he was all yours, driving him insane. “I know, Y/n. I know, Angel. You’re doing good.”
It only took a little longer before your body started to shake as the sensation heightened, your walls contracting over his fingers, and Jongseob knew you were close. He pulled his hand away, leaving you whining as you sighed. “Seob…” You begged, “Why’d you stop?”
He leaned in to kiss your forehead, his cheeks red with all the blood rushing through him. “Sorry. I want us to cum together.” He said quietly, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
That was a request you couldn’t deny him, and you held onto him tight as he leaned over to open his dresser, pulling out a condom Jiung had given him for ‘emergencies.’ He’d definitely have to explain that to you later.
He held the condom between his teeth as he reached for his belt buckle, pulling it off as you used your knees to hover above him, helping him pull them off. When his dick was finally out, it was leaking at the tip, painfully hard due to him waiting and waiting until the moment was just right
Jongseob ripped the condom with his teeth, not wanting to take his other hand off you, and you took the rubber to place it on yourself. He gulped at the sight, his breath growing shakier the more impatient he got. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
Once it was on, you situated yourself just above him, his hands finding your hips. “I told you, Seob. I’m sure.” You said, leaning in to place a soft yet deep kiss on his lips.
You grabbed onto his shoulders as he smiled up at you. “We’ll go as slow as you need.”
You didn’t want to wait anymore, neither of you did. Slowly, you sank down onto him, Jongseob helping guide you all the way. Taking the tip and going further, his sounds growing more and more pathetic as he bottomed out, the both of you stifling moans.
He threw his head back in an overwhelmed state, his chest heaving. “Fuck…You okay?” He asked, noting the way the corner of your eyes pricked with tears.
“I’m okay, Seob. Just give me a minute, s’too much.” You breathed, your hands tugging a little at his hair.
Jongseob nodded, his body trembling with overwhelming pleasure as he held you down on him “God…it’s…you’re….so tight.”
A few minutes later, the weird pressure and stinging you felt had subsided, and all the both of you wanted was to move. Jongseob looked both as if he was nervous to hurt you and the feeling of you was too much. It didn’t stop you from rolling your hips, though, looking at him with a look that told him everything he wanted to know.
Jongseob shuddered at your sudden movement, taking the hint to start moving. He helped lift your hips up and down onto him, all while your body involuntarily rolled into him by itself.
The pace picked up, and so did the pleasure. In this position, every subtle movement had his dick reaching as deep as it could go, making your brain go foggy and your moans threaten to get louder. Jongseob wasn’t any better. He was dripping sweat, his body glistening and his skin red everywhere. Every time he dragged against your gummy walls, every roll of your hips, his mind would go blank, and all he could do was place small kisses on your neck. “God…feels so good…way too good.”
You had to bite down on your lip. Not only was he fucking you right, he was whining all the way through it like he didn't know what he was doing. Jongseob was going crazy at the feeling, at the way you made him feel. And it only instilled a desire in you to go even harder as you started to bounce up and down on him.
Jongseob’s breath hitched, and he had to bite down on your neck at your sudden movements. “Sh…Shit. Y/n, you can’t do that.” He said through pants, the sound only fueling your fire.
“Can’t stop.” You moaned a little too loud in his ear, biting down on your own lip so hard you could've drawn blood.
All inhibitions in the both of you had snapped by then. You kept riding him like it was never enough, Jongseob’s hands and lips touching everywhere, all of you, and he could barely keep the both of you sitting up.
It wasn’t long before that familiar pit bubbled in your stomach, and this time Jongseob felt your walls clench around him. You were close, your movements sloppier and your pants and moans erratic.
Jongseob wasn’t far off himself, and he held onto the smallest part of your back with one hand, pressing on your stomach with the other as he helped you get there. “Cum, please, My perfect girl. Do it on me. Please.”
His words and the look of lust on his face was all that you needed to finally get there, stifling your sounds in his neck as your whole body reached an impossible high.
Jongseob reached his own as you rode out yours, his hips rolling into yours one last time as you had the pleasure of hearing all of his final whines and gasps right in your very ear.
His body gave out, and unable to hold up the both of you, falling onto his bed as he slipped out of you.
As you both came to your senses, catching your breaths and reliving everything that had just happened, you scooted off of him, only your head lying on his chest as you listened to his slowing heartbeat.
Jongseob was the first to break the silence with a giggle.
You sat up a bit, looking at the smirk on his face. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s stupid.”
“Just really glad I finally started reading."
Arthur (unlike John) will happily eat whatever his partner puts in front of him. A little burnt? Doesn’t matter. Too spicy or an overpowering taste? Grub’s grub. He’s a big man and is forever on the move, he burns a lotta calories and has gotta eat plenty, doesn’t matter what that is.
But when it’s good or his favorite? He’s asking for seconds, thirds. Licking the plate and paying many, many compliments to the chef. Contemplating the best way to repay you, y’know. You want a massage? A hot bath? Doing his own laundry? Whatever you want, you’re getting it.
Late night bath (Arthur Morgan x fem!reader)
This is inspired by my fic 'Set in Sand' where the reader washes herself off at the river and Arthur tags along to keep an eye on her. Though in here it takes a more intimate turn.
You also don't have to read 'Set in Sand' in order to read this one! <3
Word count: 3k
Tags: 18+ MDNI, semi-public sex, fingering, unprotected sex, Arthur pulls out, she/her pronouns, Chapter 6, no TB Arthur Morgan, High Honor Arthur Morgan
As the sun slowly begins to set and drowning the camp in a deep orange hue, you pick up a fresh pair of clothes to take with you. There's still dried dirt stuck to your skin and hair and you don't feel like riding all the way to Annesburg just for a bath. So you take a bar of soap and make your way to the nearby river.
"And where do you think you're goin'?", a male voice calls out to you and you turn around on your heels, slightly startled by the sudden appearance.
Arthur has his thumbs hooked into his belt and strolls over to where you're standing. At the sight of him, all tension immediately leaves your muscles and you let out a relieved sigh.
"Thought I could head to the river and wash off properly.", you answer, pointing with your thumb behind you. Much to your surprise, he shakes his head and takes the stuff you're carrying from you.
"You ain't goin' there alone.", he says, his tone making it clear that he won't tolerate any protest. Not that you care though.
"I think I'm pretty capable of washing off by myself.", you argue and follow him down the small path, that leads away from camp.
"I ain't doubtin' your skills, sweetheart." There is a heavy pause. "It's just...lately you've been gettin' shot at everytime I look away."
His concern warms your heart and you reach out to touch his arm. You can't blame him for feeling that way. If the roles were reversed, you also wouldn't be comfortable letting him go out by himself. Even if it's just a few minutes walk away.
"And here I thought you were just trying to catch me naked.", you tease with a mischievous smirk beginning to take form on your face.
He let's out barking laughter and shakes his head with an amused huff.
"That ain't the case."
"Sure. Whatever excuse makes you feel better."
Once you arrive at the river, you sit down on the shore and start to take your boots off. As much as your remark was only meant to be a joke, the prospect of being completely exposed to him still makes you nervous. Maybe you could ask him to turn away or something? While you contemplate, you come up with an even better idea.
With the speed the sun is setting at, it will be dark by the time you're undressed and then he won't be able to see much of you anyways. Besides, he did say that he doesn't want to leave you alone, right?
"Do you wanna join me?", you hear yourself ask, before you can even properly process the thought.
Arthur's head snaps in your direction and he awkwardly clears his throat.
"Why? Do I smell?"
His reply makes you groan in feigned annoyance. As you go to open up the first couple of buttons on your blouse, he quickly looks the other way. Respectful as always.
"That's not what I meant and you know it.", you answer, letting your blouse slide off your shoulders. It falls to the ground without producing any sound.
Once you've removed every piece of clothing you were wearing, you tiptoe over to the outlaw and intertwine your fingers with his. You don't want to push him to do something he doesn't feel comfortable with, but you're also aware that he's just holding back.
It's both kind of silly and endearing to see a man like him this bashful about seeing you naked. Though when you think about it, it makes sense. From what you've found out, Arthur hasn't really had what you'd call a wild love life. He only rarely shows his vulnerable side to others.
As you stand up on your toes to plant a soft kiss on his jawline, you hear his breath getting caught up in his throat.
"I won't force you into the river, but if you change your mind, you know where to find me.", you say in a hushed voice and make your way into the water.
At first it doesn't look like he's planning on moving from his spot at all, but then he begins to unbuckle his belt. It takes everything within you not to stare at him, so you distract yourself with brushing the dirt out of your hair.
When Arthur finally enters the cool water, he creates small waves around himself and you notice how nervous you're becoming again. The outlaw keeps a respectable distance between the two of you and you turn to face him entirely. It's impossible to fight off the excited grin on your face.
"Hey.", is all you're able to muster up and he clears his throat again.
The awkward silence between you two hangs heavy in the air, until he takes the brush out of your hands and runs it through your hair. You can't imagine that he's doing any progress with how gentle he is, but you don't complain. It feels too nice for it.
There is still a 'safe' distance between the two of you, but every now and then you feel his naked skin brush over yours. As much as you try to keep a clear head, this is quite a loaded situation and it does things to you. His fingers gently brush over your temple as Arthur moves some of your hair to the side.
Once he's done and puts the hairbrush aside, you turn around to face him. Most of the moon's light is unable to break through the dense treetops, but it's enough for you to see his outlines. His broad shoulders, his wide arms and those rough features in his face that have been marked by time and countless of fights.
His light brown hair is wet and slicked back, curling slightly around his ears. The tips of your fingers dance across the side of his face and his eyes flutter shut. This must be quite the struggle for him. Exposing himself to someone else that way again. It makes you happy, seeing how much he trusts you.
In one swift motion, you find yourself scooped up in his arms and his forehead pressed against yours. His eyes are fluttered shut as if he's aching and he whispers your name like a plea. It's so sweet and tender, but at the same time you feel like a sharp blade is piercing your heart, when you hear it.
Arthur's fingers trace your collarbone and run down the curve of your back. His touch leaves a hot trail, having you long for more. Your hands cup his cheeks and you quickly pull him closer for a kiss.
As your lips move in sync together, you press your chest flush against his. It feels like your bodies fit perfectly into each other like two puzzle pieces would. One of his hands is nestled in the crook of your neck, while the other is holding onto your hips as if you're his lifeline.
Gasps and pants fill the peaceful quiet around you, mixed together with the rustling of leaves and the rushing of water. He kisses you more, until your lips are red and your face is burning. A familiar heat pools between your legs and you rub your thighs together.
While moving your legs, you feel something else brush your skin and your mind goes blank for a brief moment. Something snaps within you and you run your tongue over the outlaw's chapped lips. He groans in response, dipping his head deeper so you would have better access.
You feel his hardened dick twitch in response when you grab a fistful of his hair and tug. The way his body reacts to your touch fills you with pride, pleased to have a tough criminal like him melt in the palm of your hands. Though you can tell that he's still somewhat holding back.
Of course he's devoting himself entirely to you and your lips, but it's as if he's not quite in it either. With a worried crease between your eyebrows you pull away and study his expression. It's a mix between lust, desperation and something else, that you can't place.
"What's wrong?", you ask, not wanting to push him. There is a long pause until he answers.
"I don't deserve to have you like this."
Hearing this from him isn't anything new. He has distanced himself from you before, because of this belief and you wish you could change his mind, make him see how wonderful he is. Gently, you cup his cheeks and watch him lean into your palms like a moth drawn to a flame.
"Don't think that way now, Arthur.", you tell him, your voice sweet like honey to his ears. "Just focus on me, okay?"
"I-"
"Don't. I want this. I want you."
For the longest time he simply stares at you, an unreadable mask on his face and you fear that he might back off anyways. But then his lips crash against yours with more vigor than before, catching you completely off guard. His hands roam all over your body as he pulls you close.
A deep groan escapes your throat, but he muffles it with his tongue. His dick is pressed against your stomach, flooding your mind with all sorts of dirty scenarios and next thing you know, you're being lifted.
"Arthur, what-"
"I don't want you here.", he interrupts you in a low voice. "Wanna hear those noises you make better."
Heat shoots up into your face and you let him carry you back on land. There he picks up some of his clothes and leads you further away from the river. You can still hear the rushing water in the background, but it's not dominating as much anymore.
At the new spot, he spreads his clothes over the grass and moss and signals for you to lay down on them. His large body follows you, towering over you like a shield. There he attacks your lips again, sliding his wet tongue over yours and nibbling at your lower lip. All this is driving you crazy and if you don't get any friction between your legs soon, you might cry out into the nightsky from frustration.
As if he had read your mind, his calloused hand travels down your body. It stops every now and then to cup your breast and have his thumb circle over your nipple. Other times he's just squeezing your waist, tummy and hip, appreciating every inch of your exposed body.
When he finally reaches your thigh, you feel like you could burst into a round of applause and cheers. Instinctively, you spread your legs for him and you feel his lips curl up into a smile in between the kisses. You don't have to look at him to know about that smug grin on his face.
Arthur runs a finger over your wet folds and every single muscle of yours trembles. This is the moment you have been dreaming of ever since the two of you got stuck in that closet during the Mayor's garden party. The thought of having his hands on you like this have haunted you nearly every night and now you finally get to live it.
That brilliant thumb of his finds it's way to your clit which is almost aching by now from all the anticipation. He rubs it in a agonizingly slow way and you claw at his shoulders, silently begging for more. His hot breath hits your face and he speeds up, unable to deny you the pleasure you're oh so desperately seeking.
Next thing you know, he slides a finger inside, searching for that sweet spot. Once he finds it and you arch your back in response, he adds another one. The way he massages your clit and curls his fingers up inside you, has you seeing stars.
"I'm so close.", you gasp out and hold onto his arms like a lifeline.
Arthur let's out a satisfied hum, keeping a steady pace. He makes sure not to slow down or to speed up, not wanting to throw you off this path to sweet release. When you pull him in for a kiss, it's to muffle the cry that tears from your lips when that knot in your stomach opens.
Your thighs shake and your back arches in an almost painful way, as the orgasm hits you like a slap to the face. Arthur continues moving his fingers, letting you ride out your high until he pulls away. An outraged gasp escapes you when he licks off that wet slick from his fingers and you half-heartedly slap his shoulder.
"What? Can't a man enjoy his meal?", he drawls with a smirk and you laugh.
"Mr. Morgan!", you squeal in feigned embarrassment.
That look of adoration and arousal on his face would have made you shy away on any other day, but not now. Now you only want to keep this going until you're both exhausted and unable to catch your breaths.
Once again it's as if he's reading your mind. He lifts your leg, propping it over his shoulder and the feeling of his thick cock on your pussy has you moaning. It flips a switch in your head and you shamelessly grind yourself against him.
Arthur furrows his eyebrows and his eyes flutter shut, as a beautiful groan leaves his mouth. The outlaw straightens his back, kneeling now and staring down at you. He looks like a dream this way.
Wet hair sticking to his forehead, his lips parted, all red and swollen from your rough kisses. Your eyes take in every detail of his. From the tan lines where he rolls up the sleeves of his button up shirts to the trail of thick, dark hair that travels down from his belly button to his bush.
"You sure 'bout this, sweetheart?", he asks, ripping you out of your thoughts and you nod hastily.
"I want this, Arthur."
The way you speak his name does something to him. Next thing you know, he slides his tip in and your eyes roll back. Slowly he pushes in the rest of his length, giving you the time to adjust. Aside from his fingers, you have also dreamed about his dick being burried inside you, but you never expected for him to make you feel this full.
He stretches your walls and sharp pain shoots through your veins from the sensation, but it disappears quickly. With one of your legs still on his shoulder, he starts to pull out and rolls his hips back forward. Every single motion is careful, gentle. His goal is not to hurt you, but to make you feel good, unaware that this slow pace of his is actually torture for you. Though it's not for the reasons he's afraid of.
"Arthur.", you breathe out his name and he immediately halts. "I need more. Please."
The worry in his face vanishes the moment he processes your words and he leans down until he's towering over you again. His elbows are planted on either side of your head to keep him up and you wrap your legs around his waist.
With one swift motion, you pull him closer, deeper inside you and he dips his head into the crook of your neck. Hot breath hits your skin, making the hair on the back of your neck stand up and he begins to thrust into you again. This time his hips move with more confidence and you moan his name over and over like a prayer.
His cock pounds into you, the slight curve of his shaft making it possible for his tip to hit your sweet spot. It makes you see stars behind your eyes and you feel another orgasm build up. The sound of both your moans and the wet slapping of skin on skin fills the air and you hope that the river is drowning it all out.
Arthur fucks you relentlessly, taking your hand in his and intertwining his fingers with yours. He whispers soft praises into your ear, pushing you more and more towards the edge.
"You feel so good. You're takin' me so good, sweetheart.", he murmurs in a raspy voice. "Goddamn, so tight."
His thrusts grow sloppier and messier, indicating that he's close as well. Then his hand leaves yours and he puts his thumb back to work on your swollen clit. It feels so good, that you barely even get the chance to warn him. Your orgasm washes over you only a few seconds later, still sensitive from the previous one and you let out a sound that makes Arthur's knees buckle.
Your walls clench around him tightly, too tight for him to hold back his own release. As much as he would love to fill you up with his cum, he forces himself to pull out and gives his dick a few pumps before spilling all over your stomach.
The water from his hair drips down onto your nose and the guttural moan leaving his lips is like music to your ears. Both your chests are rising and falling in sync with your heavy panting and he rolls over to the side. With a strong arm around your waist, Arthur pulls you closer and you lean your head on his shoulder.
"You're too good to me.", he murmurs while tracing patterns over your skin with his fingers and you give him a puzzled look.
"I didn't really do much."
"You did more for me than you can imagine."
Your muscles feel heavy and sore as you relax against his side and breathe in his scent. If you could you'd stay like this forever, but you have to get back to the camp soon.
Together you sneak to Arthur's tent, where he drapes a thick blanket of your shoulders and pulls you down to lay next to him. Your fingers are tracing the outlines of his face and you watch him drift off into a deep slumber.
୨୧ american honey : (REUPLOAD) arthur morgan x fem! reader
summary : arthur has a surprise for you.
warnings : pre-canon, minor depictions of violence, reader is the gang's nurse of sorts :3 + & slightly insecure, written from arthur's POV
wc : 3.2k
note : this is my LAST time re-uploading this fic, i promise ! >.< tumblr has been glitching out for me ALL FREAKING DAY but seeing as im shadowbanned on @luvrfawns i wanted to have this on here :3 i decided im definitely turning this into a series + im also accepting requests for things to include in future installations n my anon asks are turned on too for my shy readers out there ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
“hey, sweetpea.”
your head snapped up in an instant, a once focused expression replaced by the tiniest of smiles breaking over your lips — soft, sweet, just like you. “arthur. hi.” a breathy, barely-there admission of his name, dripping with saccharine as the greeting left your throat. how was it, he wondered, everything you managed to do - down to the way you mumbled his name - managed to be so damn cute?
“what'chu doin' out here all alone, hm?” arthur dropped his hands from their resting position on his gun belt, head cocking to the side as he watched you resume your work. dusty blue linen cradled over your lap like something sacred, the silver glint of a sewing needle twinkling in setting sun of the evening. his shirt.
he had been watching for a while. observing, more like. arthur had already wrapped up his own chores for the day, the firewood axe tossed mindlessly beside the never-ending supply of half split logs the continuous camp fires required, and the hay bales he had moved now lay misshapen on the little thatch of grass where the horses grazed. camp had begun to settle down with the inevitable arrival of dusk, one of the few comforting aspects of the outlaw's life.
the promise that, when dusk came, a sleepy jack would be nuzzled in the crook of abigail's shoulder, javier would be plucking something quietly from the strings of a guitar, uncle or the reverend would be snoring in a drunken heap somewhere, and the girls would be cosying up together underneath the safety of tent flaps and chatter until the late evening, when the moon made her appearance in the dark of the blackwater night sky.
arthur typically paid the girls' tittle-tattle no mind, for two reasons; the first, being that although his mother had long since departed from the earthly confines of this world, she'd sure as hell not stand for him eavesdropping on the conversation of ladies. the second? he just didn't care much for it. karen's typical laments of sean's .. colourful behaviour (well, he agreed with her there. the kid was a goddamn handful at best and a fire-haired, blustering nightmare at worst), or tilly airing her frustrations out about molly's distaste for chores. and sometimes, abigail's occasional guilt-laced confessions on the trials and tribulations of motherhood.
or, when spirits were lighter, uncontrollable fits of giggling which carried all the way to the edge of camp. karen's drunken snorting, tilly's squealing and mary-beth struggling to scold karen inbetween pitchy laughs to ‘stop being so vulgar!’ no, he rarely paid such conversations any mind. even with the unabashed happiness being as infectious as it often was.
yet, usually from his seat at the main campfire, arthur's ears typically perked up — waiting. waiting for the quieter, softer giggles, ones that could belong to no one else besides from you. sweeter than the chirps of overlapping birdsong at dawn, and filling his chest with a warmth that no liquor or adrenaline-fuelled high from a good score could ever come close to.
and so, when you were missing from your usual spot tucked away with the girls, his curiosity was piqued.
arthur still remembers the day your paths crossed, all those months ago. as sure as the sun came up over the mountain peaks of west elizabeth every morning, he wouldn't be able to forget it.
you, with shaking hands clinging to dutch's gun belt as the count rode into camp with a vigour that rivalled the crack and rumbling of the thunder in the air. stern remarks about how you saved his life to the other members of camp, whatever it was — all of it faded to a ringing, white noise in arthur's ears as soon as dutch gently eased you off the white arabian's saddle.
oh, you.
like an angel amongst a den of devils. he supposed that's what he very well could be, in comparison to you. rainwater sliding off in rivulets from your simple, soaked dress, your bottom lip trembling, drenched curls plastered to your collarbones and your eyes; wide, and glassed over with unshed tears, darting from unfamiliar face to unfamiliar face. like a startled white-tailed doe, unsure but undeniably breathtaking.
arthur had been winded several times throughout his life, each one as unforgiving as the last. right hooks to the jaw, punches to his ribs, christ alive, he'd even been mangled with buckshot a couple times. though nothing, nothing could ever hold any weight to that feeling when your glance, your uneasy doe eyes, trailed over to him. lingered, brewing with something he couldn't quite place before your attention was snatched cruelly away from him — he remembers how a scowl formed on his face at the interruption, almost as if the disconnection was a personal crime inflicted against him.
grimshaw's work-worn hands placing a blanket over your trembling shoulders, her usual stern expression switched out for a softer, more maternal one. dutch's ring-clad hand placed over the small of your back, leading you to the glow of the campfire, with hosea following in suit and mumbling something he couldn't hear.
arthur remembers the deep inhale he involuntarily took as soon as you disappeared from view, how he was suddenly painfully aware at the desperate hunger for oxygen.
he didn't believe in love at first sight. no, arthur wouldn't consider himself a cynic, but that? love at first sight ... that was solely reserved for dime romance novels, and storybooks. the feeling when your eyes locked, for a fleeting second, but gone as fast as the shimmer of a shooting star. no, that was something far more deeper, more primal. a yearning, a longing. and then his head that was abruptly tormented by a flurry of questions. an aching to know more, to know you, to see you, to feel you.
his reminiscing was interrupted at the sound of air puffing out from your lips, curls falling in front of your face as you dutifully stitched. “mmm ... needed to finish some things,” you took pause again, looking up at him through thick lashes. “sit with me?”
arthur didn't bother hiding the slight smirk he wore at the softer tone of your question, your shyness obvious still, even with the bond you now shared. “course.” couldn't you tell that he would slaughter every town from blackwater, armadillo and tumbleweed even if you barely whispered the word?
obviously, you would never ask such a thing. you asked for nothing, and he couldn't even name a time where a complaint left your lips since you joined the gang. god, your lips. always in that damn subtle pout, as if you could get any cuter if you tried. so goddamn sweet, it was borderline cavity-inducing.
you summarised everything arthur wasn't, everything he'd never be and everything he couldn't be. soft and sweet, more gentle than the sway of dandelions and the breeze that carried the florets through prairie fields.
he took solace beside you against the trunk of the huge willow tree that overlooked the small camp, home, a little ways away from the bustling town of blackwater. “how was your day?” that warmer tone, reserved just for you, only for you. eager to hear about the day's events, almost all he could think of from his position on boadicea's saddle on the ride back.
your careful movements never ceased while fusing together the rip in his shirt with cotton thread, though your shoulders brushed briefly as he settled down. “good. spent most of the mornin' patching davey n mac up after they ran into trouble at the saloon ... something 'bout ... a woman?” you giggled then, tying the smallest of knots at the bottom of your work. practised, methodical. “i can't remember the details, but they had the whole saloon on 'em, apparently.”
your hands, so different to his. so much smaller, delicate. lacking in the callouses he bore from years of manual labour, gripping cattlemans and carbines, or the scarred, raised skin over his knuckles from being split time and time again. your hands, for mending and healing. his hands, for the polar opposite. quite the pair you made.
your giggle triggered a dry chuckle from arthur, shifting his gaze from your sewing to the activities of camp. “yeah, i heard. bunch o' fools, makin' you put 'em together again.” he grumbled then, eyes narrowing in at davey's new black eye and mac's likely broken nose. “always causin' more trouble for you.”
that protective flare, the blurred lines between protectiveness and possessiveness; you weren't even his, not yet, though irritation tickled his spine at the thought of you always fixing up the camp idiots.
arthur felt the familiar, light weight of you shifting against him, head leaning against his shoulder. “i don't mind. s'what i'm good for, y'know?” again, never one to complain, as sweet as a peach you were. your scent, faint whisps of lavender, vanilla, and campfire smoke. how you managed to not reek of the familiar stench of copper from constantly having your work cut out with all the bandages you fixed, and wounds you cleaned, was beyond him.
with his unoccupied arm, he fished into the pockets of his ranch pants and pulled out a pack of smokes. “you're good for a hell of a lot more than ...” he paused then, cigarette dangling from his lips and arm stretching out to gesture frustratedly at camp. “takin' care of them.” that final word, dripping with venom.
you giggled again, and arthur felt a flicker of pride knowing that he was able to draw such a lovely sound from your chest. you weren't sweethearts, not quite yet, but arthur knew you were intrinsically tied to him in all the ways that mattered. every single comment and remark from the other men you brushed off, whether on the basis of plain obliviousness at how truly special, and beautiful you were, or genuine disinterest. he reckoned it was a mix of both.
all those bastards, loitering around the campfire. their gazes always lingering far too long on you, their words dripping with a hidden lust you never quite seemed to understand, the way they flocked to you so fast at even the simplest of scrapes. and you gave, and you gave. with arthur always watching with a clenched jaw and a pair of dark eyes.
but still, your back and forth with the men was always lacking in something of substance. polite, and kind, in the way you always were with every person who crossed your path, but never in the same familiar way you shared with him. sure, you had him wrapped around your damn finger and were probably completely naive to the fact. but never, ever, did he see you extend that sweetness to anyone but him.
still, you were a rarer treasure than the bloom of desert flowers and worth more than the countless pocket watches, belt buckles, rings and jewels he thieved throughout his entire life. he wouldn't have any more men subjecting you their piss-poor excuses of flirting much longer. no, no, you'd be his soon. he had to make it special though. not through seducing you with empty silver-tongued words like dutch did with molly.
and when he did make it official, it would be pure, honest and true. the girls, they would coo and fawn over you and the men, they'd wound up so damn tight with burning jealously — a feeling arthur knew all too well by now.
he took a drag of his cigarette, careful to direct the smoke away from you and revelling at the way you settled against his side. he only noticed now that you finished your final chore for the day, a favour for him. the blue shirt now sat neatly folded in a perfect square on the grass. he couldn't help but wonder if you paid such gentle attentiveness to your other mending jobs.
“gotchu a present.”
he flicked his smoke ash on the grass, and felt you readjust your positioning against his bicep. “arthur,” your lips opened in a quiet protest, brows furrowing together just slightly. “y'shouldn't ... waste your money on someone like me.”
someone like me. the words burned him, placing a heavy weight on his chest. someone like me? as if, somehow, by some misconstrued delusion that you were anything but a little angel to love, to hold, to spoil rotten. hell, what else should be spending the fruits of his labour on? two-bit whores for a meaningless five seconds of pleasure like mac, davey or micah often did, or instead blow it through poker or on liquor like bill and dutch?
he fought back the anger rising in his chest, forcing himself to ease back his tensed jaw. “ain't no such thing as wastin' money, not when i'm spending it on you, girl.” his words hung firm, and decided in the air, but with no bite behind them.
you opened your mouth once more to cut in, but, he was quick to silence you; rummaging through his satchel for no more than a second before pulling out the little parcel, wrapped in brown paper and secured with twine. “go on.”
the hesitation lacing your movements wasn't lost on him, and neither was the guilt that seemed to gloss over your eyes. still, you obeyed his soft command, and he watched as your thumb and index finger loosened the twine slowly.
then, a gasp. hardly audible, but followed by a sequence airy giggles. “oh, arthur! you -” and there it was, that wide, pure smile. with a warmth that challenged even the burning of the blazing afternoon sun over the new austin desert. that big, beautiful smile, typically reserved only for times when you read little jack his bedtime stories, or when the girls would whisper something in your ear over flames of the fire and beer bottles.
in your palms, you cradled the tiny present arthur had picked out whilst passing the tailor; two, tiny silk blue bows, fashioned with little clips at the back of each. he didn't like the idea of giving you stolen, and likely bloodstained, garbage from the fence. no, you were too pure for that. he wouldn't have you wearing some dead woman's pearls, no, you deserved something new, and something bought with specifically you in mind.
“i don't have a mirror handy ... you mumbled your words quietly, two fingers stroking the delicate silk clasped within your hands in awe. “would you ... ?” you trailed off, bottom lip tucked inbetween your teeth. your other hand reached to the back of your curls where a worn, pale pink bow rested — one of the simplest luxuries you had in this life, being that pretty dresses and fine jewels didn't mix with your role in camp.
arthur didn't bother suppressing his wide grin as his hand, much larger than yours, made quick work to gently unclip the pink ribbon from your hair. with more gentleness than he thought ever being capable of in his life, he took the blue pair from your palm, placing either one in your curls on each side of your head. “there,” he rumbled, pulling away (reluctantly) to admire his handiwork. “pretty as a picture.”
truth be told, no picture could ever compare to you. no carefully poised, painted face printed on cigarette cards, or those spread between the pages of corset magazines held anything on you. and he wanted, oh he wanted, to tell you so. to cup your little cheeks in his big calloused hands and force you to believe how much of a treasure you were. but, you, so sweet and skittish, he worried he'd just scare you off.
“no 'm not, but ... thank you, arthur, i -” you stammered, a blush tinging over those freckled cheeks he adored so, and your breath caught in your throat. “i - i'm.” your gaze flicked down as you searched frustratedly for the words. “i'm grateful. it makes me, um,” you fiddled with your hands, one of your nervous tics, and avoided his face, his eyes, entirely. “it makes me .. real .. happy, that you think of me - about me, um.” you glanced up once more, your blush growing fiercer at finding his cerulean blues already locked on yours.
you looked real nervous, more nervous than you typically would be around him. to his shock, and delight, your lips pressed against the scruff of his stubble for half a second, and you withdrew just as fast. “thank you.”
he was sure his pupils had never been blown so wide with love, with longing, in his entire life. you sucked in a sharp breath as arthur granted himself the pleasure, indulged himself in pure selfishness by allowing his thumb to drop underneath your chin, tipping it up. “you're real, real cute, y'know that?”
you whined in further protest then, pulling away totally to collapse back on the trunk of the tree and obscure your face with both hands.
the connection lost upon him until now, arthur noticed the cornflower blue of your little bows mirrored the shade of his shirt - still placed in the grass - perfectly. as if, his subconscious knew before he did, and that smug feeling bubbled in his chest again. a sweet, gentle, barely-there claim on you. yeah, arthur liked you in blue.
he made a quick mental note then, while finding much amusement in gazing at you far too long and making you squirm, to buy you a couple of other matching things. a shawl, maybe? he knew you felt the cold more than others did; he watched you wander around camp at night with fur blankets wrapped over your chemise. he remembered all the times he'd slipped his own jacket over your frame, actually. the worn leather always much too big for you, reminding him of how he utterly dwarfed you in size.
oh, but a new dress would be a dream. you hardly bought anything for yourself, always waiting until your things were falling apart at the seams. on the occasions you and the girls would head into town together, you'd always come back with surprise trinkets for them or toys for jack, simple jewellery for grimshaw or a book for mary-beth. again, another way in which he was reminded of how good you were — a good girl, and much, much too good for him. but he was greedy in that manner, and wanted you all for himself. would have you, all for himself.
he'd take his time picking something out, he thought. nothing overly-decorated and uncomfortable but nothing too plain either. something with a lace trim, maybe, or a ribbon tie at the back. once he finally asked you, finally took you for himself, he'd make it a habit. would take you into town instead, only the two of you, and gladly waste his hours away in the tailor to see his sweet girl smile, and giggle.
“so,“ he cleared his throat and laid back against the tree trunk once more with you, and made a gentle nudge to your side in the hopes of making you stop hiding from him. quieter than a damn church mouse, and shyer than a cottontail rabbit. he thinks he wrote about that once, in his journal. how that tiny, brown rabbit with the flopsy ears he saw a couple weeks ago near camp reminded him so much of you. “y'like yer present?“
“i love it.“
A/N : i hope this turned out okie in the end !! i got a little carried away n this ended up much more longer than intended .. >.< this is my first time writing anything in four years + english isn't my primary language so i hope it isn't too obvious (◞‸ ◟)
In the Silence
Clark Kent x Reader; 18+; mdni
Summary: In the quiet spaces between friendship and something more, you fall for Clark Kent the way snow falls—softly, steadily, all at once.
word count: 7k
t/w: sickeningly sweet romance, friends to lovers, piv sex, creampie, first time, fem reader
a/n: inspired by “You Are In Love” by Taylor Swift bc I really wanted to write a romance that felt like a warm hug
The Daily Planet sleeps around you.
Gone is the constant rhythm of clacking keyboards and ringing phones, the hum of conversation and the occasional curse muttered under breath when a lead doesn’t pan out. What remains is stillness—heavy and honey-thick. The kind of silence that presses into your skin, settling over your shoulders like a familiar coat.
Only one desk lamp is still lit. Yours.
The light pools across scattered notes and the spine of your open notebook, illuminating the edge of your cooling coffee and the dull gleam of your laptop’s keyboard. The screen glares softly in front of you, your blinking cursor waiting for a thought you haven’t had the energy to chase. The day was long, the kind that drained everything from you—except the want to stay just a little longer.
You pretend it’s for productivity.
But you’re not the only one here.
Clark sits diagonally across from you, back straight, glasses sliding low on the bridge of his nose as he reviews something on the monitor in front of him. His tie is loose now, crooked in a way that speaks of exhaustion more than fashion. The sleeves of his button-up are rolled up to his forearms, exposing strong wrists and the faintest shadow of veins. His hand hovers over the mouse, unmoving. You know he hasn’t clicked in minutes.
He’s not working either.
The lamp behind him is off, so he’s half-drenched in shadow. The light from your desk casts enough glow that it reflects off his lenses when he turns his head ever so slightly. You feel it before you see it—that weightless pull in the air. The sensation of being watched.
When your eyes lift to meet his, the world exhales.
He’s already looking. Not with intensity—no bold, sweeping gesture—but with a kind of softness that catches in your throat. Like he’s memorizing you in real time. His gaze dips to your lips for just a moment, and he smiles—small, secretive, like you’ve just shared a private joke you don’t remember telling.
You should look away.
But you don’t.
The silence between you isn’t awkward. It’s not empty. It’s full. Brimming with things unsaid. Filled with all the little moments that led you here: late-night coffee runs, inside jokes whispered across cubicles, the way he always walks you to your car even though his place is in the other direction.
Your fingers curl around your mug, lifting it slowly, though the coffee’s long since gone cold. You drink anyway, letting the bitter aftertaste drag you back to your body, grounding you in the moment. Still, your eyes drift back to him.
His glasses catch the light again. And this time, he doesn’t look away.
Something twists low in your belly. A slow, aching warmth that builds with no name, no permission, no clear beginning.
Eventually—eventually—you drop your gaze. You reach for your pen and scratch something meaningless into your notebook just to fill the space. You wonder if your hands are trembling. You wonder if he noticed.
Across the bullpen, Clark shifts in his chair. The creak of it is startling in the quiet. He clears his throat gently, like he wants to say something. But no words come.
You don’t need them.
Not tonight.
The silence says enough.
-
You’re the last ones to leave.
The elevator’s hum fades as it closes behind the intern from Research, and for a moment, the building feels like it belongs to just the two of you. The city outside is dressed in moonlight and motion—neon signs flickering like blinking eyes, streetlamps pooling golden halos onto wet pavement. It had rained earlier. You hadn’t noticed until now.
Clark holds the door for you as you step out into the hallway. Your footsteps echo down the corridor, a gentle rhythm matched only by the tap of his beside you. Neither of you says much. You don’t need to. There’s comfort in the quiet, a kind of shared solitude you’ve both grown used to.
At the building’s entrance, you reach for your coat—crumpled over your arm, too lightweight for the chill that’s crept into the evening.
“You’re not walking home in that,” Clark says, already slipping out of his own.
Before you can protest, he’s draping it over your shoulders—soft wool still warm from his body, smelling faintly of soap and something subtle and earthy you can’t name but know instinctively as him.
You freeze under the gesture. Your hands find the lapels, tugging them closed as if to trap the warmth inside. His fingers brush yours as he reaches for the buttons—slow, deliberate movements, not quite touching you, but close enough to feel. He starts fastening them from the bottom up, and it’s suddenly very hard to breathe.
“Buttoning me up now, smallville?” you tease, voice tight with something you hope sounds like humor.
He smiles, just barely. “You don’t do it right,” he murmurs, and there’s that familiar, fond amusement laced through every syllable.
Your heart stutters. “I do fine.”
“You skipped the middle one last time. That’s how you end up with a lopsided jacket and a cold.”
“Maybe I like it lopsided. It’s called style.”
“It’s called cold,” he says, buttoning the second-to-last one slowly, carefully, like each one matters.
You glance up at him, meaning to throw back another retort, but his face is close now—closer than you expected. Close enough to see the soft shadows under his eyes, the curve of his mouth as it tugs with a barely-there smile. Close enough to count his lashes if you wanted to. Close enough to forget how to speak.
He doesn’t look away.
The last button goes untouched.
For a moment, neither of you moves.
Then—softly, almost nervously—he reaches up to straighten your collar, fingers brushing against the side of your throat. Your breath catches.
It’s nothing.
A single touch.
A casual adjustment.
But your skin burns where he touched it. And when he finally pulls his hands back, you feel the absence like a drop in pressure. A loss.
You shake your head, eyes flicking toward the street. “You always this much of a gentleman?”
Clark huffs a laugh, low and unsteady. “Only with you.”
Your pulse flutters. You pretend not to hear the way he says it—quiet, certain, like it’s already been true for some time.
The wind tugs at your hair as you step outside together. It’s colder than you expected. The kind of cold that creeps into your sleeves and kisses the backs of your knees. But his coat is warm. Heavy. Like being held.
He walks you home without being asked.
And you let him.
-
The city is quieter at night, but never silent.
There’s always a hum—cars gliding through distant intersections, someone laughing too loudly on the corner, a train groaning somewhere underground like the bones of the city shifting in its sleep. You’ve always liked it best at this hour, when the chaos softens and the edges blur. When everything feels less like survival and more like floating.
You hadn’t meant to call him.
It wasn’t even a real call—just a message sent at 11:47 p.m., half-joking and a little sleep-drunk:
can’t sleep. bet you’re still up, night owl.
wanna meet me at that sad diner with the good pie?
He didn’t reply with words. Just a car honk outside your apartment fifteen minutes later. Headlights cutting through the fog. That’s how Clark always answers—without needing to be asked twice.
You pull on the first hoodie you find, tug it over your head, and step out into the night, the chill brushing your bare shins like cold fingertips. He leans against the driver’s side door, arms crossed loosely over his chest, like it’s no big deal. Like this wasn’t a declaration.
His eyes crinkle when he sees you. That’s the first thing you notice—always. The way he smiles like he already knows what you’re about to say.
You slide into the passenger seat, legs tucked beneath you. The engine purrs to life.
“You really gonna drive me to the world’s worst diner at midnight just because I was lonely?” you ask.
“Of course,” he says, like it was never a question.
-
The diner is nearly empty.
One elderly couple nursing coffee at a corner booth, a single server behind the counter scrolling on her phone. The lights are too bright, flickering overhead like they haven’t been changed in years. The booths are sticky with old vinyl. Everything smells faintly of burnt oil and sugar.
You love it.
Clark orders black coffee without even glancing at the menu. You both know he’ll ruin it with an incredible amount of sugar once it gets to the table. You get your usual—extra whipped cream, too much cinnamon. He watches you over the rim of his cup like he can’t quite believe you exist, like you’re a moment he keeps trying to memorize.
The conversation is light, easy. Small talk about the story you’re both editing, the intern who misspelled “catastrophe” three times in one headline, Lois’s latest tirade about clickbait. You make him laugh, and the sound warms the space between you better than the coffee.
But somewhere between sips and quiet looks, the air starts to change.
It happens when he reaches across the table to nudge a napkin toward you—your chain necklace catching the light as you lean forward, slipping out from beneath your collar, dipping down towards you cleavage. He stares for just a second too long. You notice.
He notices you noticing.
Your cheeks heat, and you make some dumb joke to break the tension, something about pie being a weak excuse for flirting.
Clark doesn’t laugh this time. He says, “Look up.”
You do just a little, eyes settling around his strong jaw line—expecting a light, maybe a distraction. But he’s still watching you. And he says it again, lower this time. A breath more than a word.
“Look at me.”
And when your eyes rise—when they finally meet his—you feel it.
That thing you haven’t wanted to name. That soft gravity in your chest pulling you toward him. There’s nothing overt in the way he looks at you. It’s not lust or longing, not in the way you’re used to. It’s quieter than that. Fiercer.
It’s knowing.
You don’t say anything. You can’t.
Your shoulders brush when you slide out of the booth later, his hand briefly catching your elbow, thumb tracing the crook of it like he forgot he was allowed to touch you.
You don’t pull away.
On the drive home, the silence is full again. Heavy with everything you didn’t say.
He doesn’t park. He just slows to a crawl outside your place, headlights splashing across the front steps. You don’t move to get out right away.
His hand lingers on the gear shift. Yours lingers on the door handle.
“I’m glad you texted,” he says, barely audible.
“I’m glad you showed up,” you whisper back.
And that’s it.
Not a confession.
Not quite.
But it feels like one.
-
There’s a different kind of silence in his apartment.
Not sterile or stiff like hotel silence, or echoing like your empty place when you forget to leave music on. It’s a lived-in quiet, layered with warmth and soft memory—the faint tick of the clock on the wall, the rustle of pages from the newspaper you abandoned on the coffee table, the distant hum of the refrigerator. The ceiling fan creaks slightly on its lowest setting, spinning a slow circle above you like time means nothing here.
You’re curled at one end of the couch, legs tucked beneath you, wearing a pair of his old sweatpants rolled a few times at the waist that you never officially borrowed. The drawstring is uneven, knotted with your impatience. The hem still drags over your ankle every time you shift.
He’s on the other side—just close enough to share the blanket, not quite touching. His socked foot brushes yours now and then, absent-minded and gentle, like he’s reaching without knowing it.
Neither of you speaks.
The movie ended half an hour ago. You can’t remember how it ended. You don’t think he can either.
The television screen glows blue in the darkness, the credits long since faded to the streaming platform’s idle menu. But neither of you has moved to turn it off. There’s a quiet understanding here, something wordless but mutual. Neither of you is ready to let go of this moment.
You lean your head back against the couch cushion, eyes half-lidded. It’s late—so late it’s almost early. But you’re not tired. Not in the way that matters.
Clark shifts beside you, elbow settling more comfortably on the armrest. His thigh brushes yours. It’s the smallest point of contact, but it zips straight up your spine like static—barely there, but impossible to ignore. His body is solid warmth next to yours, heat radiating through layers of cotton and proximity.
Your heart beats louder in the quiet.
And that’s when you realize it.
It isn’t in the things he says. Not in the coffee runs or the jokes about your cluttered desk, not in the way he always walks on the outside of the sidewalk or buys the snacks you like when you’re on deadline.
It’s here. In the silence. The way he sits beside you like it’s the only place he wants to be. The way he doesn’t need to fill the air with words, because he already knows the ones that matter haven’t been said yet.
You glance at him.
He’s already looking at you.
Not staring. Not bold. Just… there. Fully present. Eyes soft, mouth slightly parted like he might say something—but doesn’t.
He doesn’t need to because you can feel it. Like a heartbeat between you. Like a breath you forgot you were holding.
You’re in love.
You’re in love with Clark Kent, and somehow it happened so slowly and so completely that you didn’t notice until it was already true. Until it was obvious.
You shift, stretching out your legs until they press against his, and when you don’t pull away, he doesn’t either. His eyes dip to your bare knee. Then lift again.
“I should get up,” you say softly.
“You don’t have to,” he replies, just as soft.
You stay. The screen dims to black. The room darkens with it. Neither of you moves. And in the hush of it—in the shared breath between dusk and dawn—you feel it again.
That quiet truth pulsing in the stillness.
You are in love.
-
You must’ve fallen asleep on the couch.
The last thing you remember is the warmth of Clark beside you, the soft hum of city noise outside his window, and the slow way your body melted into the cushions as his shoulder pressed gently against yours. There was no plan to stay. There never is. But sometimes staying just happens.
And sometimes, he doesn’t let go.
You wake to golden light spilling through the curtains, slicing warm across the floor and striping the furniture in honeyed bands. It smells faintly like burnt toast. Like someone tried to cook and forgot they were hungry halfway through.
Clark is still asleep behind you.
You’re not entirely sure how you ended up in his bed. Only that at some point during the night, he must’ve lifted you off the couch with that casual strength he never talks about—like it’s just another kindness he offers. Like carrying you to bed is no different than carrying your groceries.
You’re curled into his chest now, legs tangled beneath the comforter, your body tucked beneath his like he’s been guarding you from the cold. His arm is draped over your side, hand resting low on your stomach, large and warm and steady. Your face is pressed against the soft cotton of his T-shirt, and you can feel the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
It’s the kind of sleep-touch people only allow when they trust you. Or when they ache for you. You don’t know which this is.
Maybe both.
His scent is all around you—clean laundry, warm skin, and something quiet and grounding, like cedarwood and earth. It makes your throat tighten. You hadn’t realized how deeply you’d missed this kind of closeness. Not casual intimacy. Not sex. Just… being held. Without expectation. Without performance.
Just him, holding you, like it was inevitable.
You shift slightly to look up at him. His brow is soft in sleep, jaw slack, lips slightly parted. There’s a crease on his cheek from the pillow. His glasses are folded neatly on the nightstand beside a half-drunk glass of water and a well-worn copy of Catch-22 with a torn page corner.
You smile into his shirt.
You don’t move. Don’t dare disturb the moment.
Instead, you let yourself sink a little deeper against him, your fingers curling gently around his forearm, tucking under the hem of his sleeve where his skin is bare and warm. You feel him stir, just barely—his breath catching for a moment before it evens again, and his hold on you tightens instinctively.
It isn’t possessive.
It’s protective. Familiar. Like he’s holding something he doesn’t want to lose.
The smell of toast wafts in stronger now—charred and faintly sweet. Somewhere in the kitchen, the toaster is probably still smoking, forgotten mid-thought.
You imagine him distracted, half-asleep and barefoot, shuffling around the kitchen trying to make you breakfast before you woke, just to come crawling back into bed before it was fully done. The idea makes your chest ache.
He’s trying. Not in grand gestures. But in all the quiet ways that matter.
You close your eyes again, nestling further beneath his chin.
You’ve made it a habit to keep his shirts when he lets you stay over. He never asks for them back. And you always assumed he forgot. But last week, you caught him folding one of yours—the one you left by accident—and tucking it into the drawer beside his own.
You keep his shirt.
He keeps your place in his life.
And for once, you stop counting the exits. You stop worrying about what happens next. The ghosts you usually keep tethered to your ribs are quiet this morning. Your fears are somewhere far from this room.
He stirs again—his voice a soft scrape of gravel behind you.
“Morning, sweetheart.”
You hum. “Your toast is burning.”
He breathes a laugh against the back of your neck. “Gosh darn it.”
You smile. He still hasn’t moved. Neither have you.
One step. Not much.
But it says enough.
-
It happens after a fight. Not a big one. Not cruel. Just… sharp edges clashing.
The kind that sneaks up on you when you’re both frayed at the seams. Too many rewrites. Too many phone calls that went nowhere. A triple-shot espresso on an empty stomach. Frustration building under your skin like static, waiting for something—or someone—to ground it.
Clark made a comment—innocuous on the surface. Something about how he’d already pulled the city records you’d been planning to request. Efficient. Helpful. But it struck the wrong nerve, lodged itself beneath your ribs like a splinter.
You snapped. Not loudly, but sharply. Clipped words about autonomy. Space. Boundaries. About how he always seems to know what you need before you’ve said it out loud, and how sometimes, you just want the chance to ask.
The second it’s out of your mouth, the air changes.
Clark doesn’t argue. Doesn’t try to explain himself. He just stills. His lips part like he might respond, then close again. His jaw shifts. His shoulders draw in slightly, like a retreat—measured and quiet. One hand rises to rub the back of his neck, fingers threading through the mess of hair there.
His eyes dim. Just a little.
And then he says, very softly, “Okay.”
That’s all.
No defense. No counterpoint. No wounded expression to pull guilt from your spine.
Just… okay.
It cuts deeper than anything else could have.
You turn before you can say something worse. Your boots echo against the linoleum, and you pretend you don’t feel his gaze follow you out of the bullpen. The elevator ride is too quiet. The hallway to your apartment feels longer than usual. The key sticks in the lock when you get home.
And the silence that waits for you inside is nothing like his.
His silence is warm. Mutual. Full of meaning.
This silence is cold. Impersonal. It hums with unfinished sentences and unspoken apologies, a low buzz beneath your skin that doesn’t stop, not even when you curl beneath your blanket and press your face to the pillow he slept on once.
You don’t sleep.
You don’t even try.
-
You wake up early—groggy and cotton-mouthed, mascara smudged beneath your eyes, a headache curling at the base of your skull. The streets outside are still blue with morning, the city yawning itself awake.
You make two coffees when you get into the breakroom.
Muscle memory, mostly. One dark, one sweet. His favorite mug—the navy one with the chipped handle—is already waiting in the cabinet. You hesitate before filling it. It feels like crossing a line, like folding an apology into ceramic and sugar.
But you do it anyway.
You don’t leave a note. You just place it on his desk and walk away.
He finds you ten minutes later in the breakroom, back braced against the counter, your hands cradling your own mug like it might shield you. You can’t meet his eyes. Your fingers are trembling. The silence stretches—not tense, but wary. Like a wound neither of you wants to reopen.
Then, slowly, he steps forward and takes your hand. His palm is warm. His grip is steady. Familiar in the way only he is—anchoring and impossibly gentle, like he’s afraid you’ll break and not realizing you already have.
You finally look up.
His eyes are soft. Not forgiving. Not forgetting. Just present. Still here.
Still him.
Your throat tightens. You squeeze his hand back. You don’t say sorry. You don’t have to.
-
Later that night—after the tension has been carefully picked apart and folded into shared sentences, after apologies are passed back and forth like fragile things—you end up walking home together again.
The city feels gentler than it did earlier. Less like something pressing in, and more like something exhaling around you. The storm that had been sitting above your heads all day—unspoken things, raised voices, clenched jaws—has passed, leaving behind a dusting of quiet snow.
It clings to your lashes as it falls. Light, wet flakes that melt the second they touch skin, sliding into your collar and the nape of your neck. The air smells clean. Frozen. Like static and distant chimneys.
You walk slowly. Not because the sidewalk is slick—though it is—but because neither of you is in any kind of rush to be anywhere else. Your shoulders bump gently as you step in time, the rhythm of your boots a steady thud softened by snow. His elbow brushes yours again and again, and this time, you don’t move away.
There’s a looseness in your chest now. A kind of surrender. Not weakness—just relief. That he’s still here. That you’re still you. That even when you mess it up, he doesn’t let it stay broken.
The snow swirls under the halo of a streetlamp ahead, catching the light like glitter tossed from above. You tilt your chin up to watch it, lashes heavy with melted flakes, lips parted to breathe it in.
“You look pretty,” he says, quietly. “With the snow in your hair.” It’s so soft you almost miss it. Carried on the hush of passing tires and the far-off bark of a dog, but still—you hear it.
You turn to him, squinting through the light. “Are you flirting with me, Kent?”
He shrugs, hands deep in his coat pockets. Shoulders tight against the cold. “Might be.”
You take a step closer. He doesn’t move away.
The streetlamp above flickers once, twice. Then steadies. Pale gold spills over the sidewalk like spilled milk, washing the world in something dreamlike. Snow collects in the crook of his collar. His breath ghosts visibly between you in soft bursts, white and warm.
Clark is already watching you. Not with hunger. Not with expectation. Just that wide, open look he gets sometimes—like he’s seeing all of you at once, and he doesn’t want to miss anything.
Your hand lifts without thinking. You reach toward his glasses, brushing away a snowflake caught in the metal rim near the corner of his eye. Your knuckles graze his cheek.
He catches your wrist. His grip is gentle. Not pulling, not holding you in place—just a touch. Just a tether.
The air feels warmer suddenly. Thicker. His eyes flick to your mouth. Then back up.
And then he kisses you.
It’s not sudden. It doesn’t crash into you. It happens the way a slow tide rolls in, patient and sure. His mouth finds yours like it’s done it a hundred times before, and yet still carries the tremble of first contact. A question, not a demand.
Is this okay?
Can this be real?
You answer him in the way you lean forward, in the way your hands curl into the lapels of his coat. He exhales into you—relief and wanting stitched together in one quiet sound—and lets his arms slide around your waist.
The kiss deepens for a heartbeat. Just enough to draw a soft, helpless noise from the back of your throat. Just enough to make your knees sway. But then it softens again. Eases. Like neither of you wants to scare it off.
When you pull back, the tip of his nose brushes yours. His glasses fog. Your smile tilts lopsided.
“I’m still mad at you,” you whisper jokingly.
He nods, eyes warm, voice low. “I know.”
“And you take your coffee way too sweet.”
“You drink dessert in a cup,” he murmurs. “You don’t get to judge me.”
That makes you laugh, quiet and breathy. You kiss him again before you can stop yourself—just a press of lips and the taste of snow and heat and the shape of something you can’t take back.
His hands grip the back of your coat tighter this time. Like he means it. Like he’s scared you might vanish into the snowfall.
You don’t.
You stay.
Because this sidewalk—wet and half-frozen, lit only by streetlight and snow—it’s not just a path anymore. It’s the scene of a shift. A turning point. The place where something that’s always lived in your silences finally stepped into the open.
You’re not afraid of the fight anymore. Because you talk after. Because you try after.
Because whatever this is—this warmth in your bones, this ache in your chest, this feeling blooming behind every smile—
It isn’t fragile.
It’s real.
-
You wake one night months later to the weight of him thinking. Not moving. Not speaking. Just… awake.
And heavy with it.
The kind of quiet that hums beneath the surface of skin, that fills a room without sound. The air feels denser than it was when you fell asleep, the space between his body and yours too warm, too tense. The sheets have slipped low, baring your collarbone to the night air, and there’s a crease in the pillow from where his hand had been—not touching, but close. He’s always so close.
You blink the haze from your eyes and lift your head just enough to see him.
Clark is sitting up beside you, back arched slightly forward, elbows on his knees. His silhouette is cut in soft silver by the moonlight pooling through the window, casting delicate shadows across the curve of his spine, the edge of his jaw. His glasses are gone—abandoned on the nightstand. His hands are folded loosely, knuckles pale.
He doesn’t look at you but you can feel it pulsing off him—whatever it is—like heat off a flame. Contained. Controlled. Barely.
You whisper his name into the dark.
He doesn’t jump. Doesn’t startle. He just closes his eyes, presses the pads of his fingers to his mouth like he’s holding something in.
After a moment, he breathes out your name in return. Like a confession.
“Did I wake you?” he asks, low and hoarse.
“No.” You shift slowly onto your side, sheet rustling like breath. “Couldn’t stay asleep.”
Another beat. Then, still facing forward, he says, “It just… hit me all at once. How fast it’s all changed. How close I am to something I don’t know how to name.”
You don’t respond right away. Because God, you feel it too. You feel it every time his hand brushes yours and lingers just a second too long. Every time he brings you coffee the exact way you like it and doesn’t mention how he noticed. Every time he walks beside you with his arm just close enough to reach for if the world starts falling apart.
And especially now—his voice rough with something unspeakable, his shoulders hunched with the burden of needing something he’s too scared to ask for.
“Yeah,” you murmur finally. “Me too.”
He turns his head then. Just enough to look at you.
The light catches his eyes. They’re wide. Raw. Like he’s seeing you differently now, or maybe letting you see him for the first time. You don’t blink. Don’t breathe. The air between you stretches thin.
He shifts—slowly—drawing his legs back under the covers. But he doesn’t lie down.
Instead, he leans over you, propped on one elbow, the sheet slipping further off his chest. His other hand lifts hesitantly, hovers near your jaw, then drops back down before it can land.
There’s a pause.
And then he says it—soft and steady, like the words have been pacing inside his chest all night, desperate to be let out.
“You’re my best friend.”
It shouldn’t feel like that much. It shouldn’t. But the words land like an earthquake beneath your ribs. Because when he says it, it doesn’t sound like friendship. It sounds like home.
It sounds like I want to kiss you every day forever but I’m scared to lose what we already have.
It sounds like you’re the one I fall asleep thinking about.
It sounds like this isn’t just a phase for me.
You stare at him, mouth parted, heart crawling its way up your throat. He’s not blinking. Not moving. Like the entire world hinges on what you do next.
You lift your hand—slow and careful—and press your fingertips to the curve of his jaw. Just a touch. Just enough. His breath stutters.
You feel it—right beneath your fingertips, where the pulse leaps in his jaw. He’s close enough that his exhale ghosts across your cheek, warm and sharp. His eyes search yours like he’s trying to memorize this moment, like he’s afraid he’s imagined it.
You press your hand a little more firmly against him. Not to guide. Not to demand. Just to say I’m here.
That’s all it takes.
The distance between you breaks.
Clark surges forward—not rushed, not reckless, but hungry. Like the restraint he’s been carrying for months finally cracked. His mouth finds yours with a soft, stunned noise in the back of his throat, and it’s so gentle it hurts. He kisses you like he’s scared you’ll pull away. Like he’s still asking.
You answer by threading your fingers into his hair and pulling him closer. He groans—quiet, breathless—into your mouth.
The kiss deepens with every breath. His hand slides to your waist, fingers splayed wide like he wants to cover as much of you as possible. The heat of him bleeds into your skin, and his other hand follows, skimming down your ribs to your hip. His touch is reverent, almost shaking. Like he can’t believe you’re letting him do this.
You shift beneath him, your leg hooking over his hip instinctively, and the sound he makes is raw. Muffled. Desperate.
He pulls back just enough to look at you. Just enough to ask again—Are you sure?
You answer without words. Just a soft, “Please.”
That’s all he needs.
His mouth finds your neck, open and hot, and you gasp as his teeth graze the soft skin below your jaw. His hand slips beneath your shirt—slow, searching—fingertips trailing up your side like he’s feeling you breathe. When he cups your breast through the thin fabric of your sleep top, you arch into him, breath catching. His thumb brushes over your nipple, and you whimper into his shoulder.
“Gosh,” he breathes, voice cracking. “You’re so soft.”
You reach between you, fumbling with the hem of his shirt. He lifts up just enough for you to tug it over his head. The moonlight paints silver across the planes of his chest, the soft line of his stomach, the curve of his biceps. He’s solid warmth and muscle beneath your hands, but nothing about him feels intimidating.
He feels safe.
Familiar.
His mouth is back on yours before the shirt hits the floor.
You feel him, hot and hard against your thigh, and the knowledge that he’s holding back—that even now, with his hands all over you, he’s trying to be careful—makes your stomach twist.
“You don’t have to be so gentle,” you whisper against his lips.
His hand freezes. “You sure?”
You nod. “I want all of you. Not just the part you think I can handle.”
Something breaks behind his eyes.
He groans—low and wrecked—and his grip tightens on your waist. His hips press into yours, slow and firm, and you feel him grind against you, the friction catching right where you need it. Your whole body arches in response, desperate for more.
Clothes disappear in pieces. Breathless kisses. Fingers brushing skin that’s never been touched this way. Your shirt gets tugged off. His pants slide down his hips. You both fumble with your underwear, laughing softly between gasps and moans.
And then he’s above you. Kneeling between your thighs, one hand stroking gently over your knee, the other holding the base of his cock as he looks down at you. Not with arrogance. Not with hesitation.
With awe.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. Like it’s the first time he’s said it aloud. Like he’s been thinking it forever.
You reach for him.
He sinks into you slowly.
The stretch is deep and aching and perfect, and you clutch at his shoulders, nails biting into his skin as he groans—long and low—at the feeling of being inside you.
He stills.
Lets you adjust.
Forehead pressed to yours, eyes squeezed shut like he’s trying to anchor himself.
“You okay?” he whispers.
You nod. “Move.”
And when he does—when he pulls out just enough and slides back in with that thick, delicious pressure—you both gasp. His hands grip your hips. Your legs wrap tighter around him. Every thrust is slow, deep, intentional.
There’s nothing hurried here.
Nothing casual.
Every movement feels like a promise. Like he’s trying to tell you something he doesn’t know how to say.
He presses kisses to your cheek, your jaw, your throat. His name spills from your lips like prayer. Yours spills from his like surrender.
You come with his forehead pressed to your collarbone, your hands in his hair, your body trembling beneath him.
And when he follows—when he breaks with a gasp of your name and spills inside you—it feels like the last wall between you crumbles.
He doesn’t pull out. Doesn’t leave your arms. He just holds you. Breathing hard. Mouth pressed to your temple. One hand stroking your hip in lazy, slow circles like he can’t bear to stop touching you.
You lie there like that for a long time. Sweaty. Shaking. Quiet.
You don’t speak. You don’t need to. Because this—this—was never just about sex.
It was about everything that led here. About how you found each other in the silence. About how love was already here.
You just had to let it in.
-
The world doesn’t change the next morning. The sun still rises through the haze of city smog. The Planet still dings with elevator doors and Jimmy still spills his coffee before nine. Your inbox is still a mess. Your deadline’s still looming.
But you feel different.
You move through the day a little slower. A little softer. Like you’re underwater in a warm current. Like you’re still carrying the weight of his hands on your hips, the shape of his mouth on your neck, the sound of your name wrecked from his throat.
You don’t talk about it. You don’t have to.
Not when his hand finds yours beneath the table during an editorial meeting. Not when he brushes the hair from your forehead as you pore over city records in silence. Not when he leans over your shoulder to whisper a note about a source, but lingers just long enough that your eyes flutter closed.
Everything is the same.
And everything has changed.
-
It becomes a rhythm.
A routine.
Weekends melt into each other in slow, golden hours. Grocery runs where he pushes the cart and pretends not to judge your cereal choices. Quiet nights where you lie tangled on his couch, legs overlapping, reading aloud from the paper or falling asleep with your head on his chest.
The snow comes heavier one evening in December. Fat, drifting flakes that hush the city and paint the streetlights in halos.
You’re walking back from the corner store—your gloves forgotten, cheeks stinging, his scarf wrapped twice around your neck. You’re laughing at something dumb he said, and he’s looking at you like you’re the only warm thing left in the whole damn world.
You pause under a flickering streetlamp and tilt your face to the sky.
Clark doesn’t say anything.
He just steps behind you, slides his arms around your waist, and rests his chin on your shoulder as the snow falls around you.
You sway together. Barely moving. Not dancing, not really. But close. Steady. Quiet. Like you’re the only two people on Earth.
You don’t say I love you. Not yet. But it’s there. In the steam of your breath. In the way your mittenless fingers find his and hold tight. In the press of his lips to your temple.
It’s there.
-
He keeps a picture of you at his desk.
You find it by accident one night when you stop by after hours. You meant to drop off takeout—he missed lunch again—and when you place the container on his desk, you see it tucked just behind his monitor.
It’s not posed.
Not framed.
Just a print Jimmy must’ve made—grainy and candid. You’re in the bullpen, mid-laugh, head tipped back, a pen tucked behind your ear and his flannel hanging off your shoulders. You don’t even remember the moment being taken.
But he does.
It’s the kind of photo someone chooses on purpose.
You lift it carefully, thumb brushing the edge. There’s a small crease at the corner like it’s been handled often, maybe taken in and out of his wallet before he gave it a safer home.
Clark comes up behind you, footsteps soft. He doesn’t say anything at first.
You turn slightly, the photo still in your hand. “You kept this?”
His smile is shy. A little sheepish. “Yeah.”
Your heart stutters.
“It just… reminds me,” he adds quietly. “What I have. What matters.”
You look at the photo. Then back at him. He doesn’t try to kiss you. He just reaches for your hand. And when his fingers lace with yours, something inside you steadies.
You get it now.
Why people go to war for love. Why they lose their minds, write sonnets, chase ghosts. Why everything you’ve ever tried to put into words never quite measured up.
Because this—this soft, sure thing you’ve found with him—isn’t made of grand gestures or burning declarations.
It’s made of quiet mornings. Candid photos. Snowflakes in your hair. The way he says your name like it’s both question and answer.
It’s made of knowing you’re held—even in the silence. Even in the dark.
Because you’re in love.
And this time, you know it so wholly you’ll never be able to unknow it.
-
It doesn’t happen on a grand night. No gala, no rooftop, no headline to chase or city to save.
Just a Tuesday.
Late. Raining.
You’re in his apartment, barefoot and damp from the walk up. Your coat hangs dripping by the door. Your hair’s still wet from the storm. He towel-dried it as soon as you walked in, murmuring something about catching cold. Now you’re curled into the corner of his couch in one of his oversized sweatshirts, legs tucked beneath you, sipping lukewarm tea from a chipped mug you both refuse to throw out.
Clark sits across from you in the armchair. But his eyes are somewhere else. On you. Always on you.
You can feel it.
There’s music playing faintly from his speakers—something slow and distant, like memory. The rain ticks softly against the windows, blurring the world outside. The room glows gold with lamplight.
You don’t talk much. Just trade glances. Quiet smiles. Let the space between you speak louder than conversation.
It’s the silence that gives it away. Not tense. Not awkward. Just full. Saturated with something unnamed.
“Can I tell you something?” Clark asks. His voice is low. Barely above the rain.
You nod.
He sets his mug down. Leans forward, elbows braced on his knees. His hands fidget once, then still. He looks at you like he’s about to step off the edge of something he’s been circling for years.
“I think I’ve loved you since before I even understood what that meant.”
The room stops.
Your breath does too.
He keeps going.
“I used to think love had to be loud. Big. Dramatic. But this—” he gestures softly, hand drifting toward you, toward the space where you sit curled up in his life, “—this snuck up on me. You snuck up on me.”
You stare at him, the weight of his words pressing into every inch of your skin, curling warm behind your ribs.
“I tried not to say it,” he says, voice tight now. “Because I didn’t want to risk… us. But I wake up next to you and it feels like I’ve already made every choice.”
You’re on your feet before you realize you’ve moved.
He rises too, breath caught in his throat.
You cross the room in two steps, take his face in your hands, and kiss him. Not soft this time. Not hesitant.
Certain.
Because you’ve been carrying it too. The same truth. The same ache.
You pull back only far enough to whisper against his lips, “I love you, Clark.”
He exhales like it’s the first full breath he’s taken in days. You press your forehead to his. You don’t say anything else. You don’t have to. Because now it’s real.
It’s spoken.
The thing you’ve known in every glance, every hand held, every night spent in each other’s arms—now it has a name. And you wear it like a second skin.
You hold him there, swaying slightly as the rain continues outside.
No one watching. No deadline waiting. No need to rush.
Because you’re in love.
And finally, finally—
You both know it.
literally obsessed oh my god
Secrets
“You have no idea how many nights I’ve jerked off thinking about your mouth on me… imagining you saying my name like it’s a prayer.”
Pairing: Clark Kent x fem! Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 4.6k
Summary: Moaning the wrong name in bed finally gives your friendship with Clark the push it needed.
Warnings: Unprotected sex, p in v, fingering
a/n: This is honestly my personal best I think, i really enjoyed this concept lol. But as always, send any requests you have my way!
You don’t make mistakes. Not ones this bad at least.
But today? Today, you royally fucked up.
You’d been dating this guy Chase, just for a few weeks and when you finally made it into bed? You moaned fucking Clark Kent’s name.
The secret crush you’ve had on your friend since *forever* has never gotten this bad before. I mean at least you’d never moaned out his name when you were in bed with someone else before.
That’s not it though. After the whole ordeal you just wanted to forget it, forget the shame and forget him. But of course it wasn't that goddamn simple.
No, Chase had to transfer over to the Daily Planet.
“Holy fucking fuck,” You whine, hiding behind Lois and Jimmy earning an eyebrow raise from her.
“Y/N?” Her voice is concerned yet amused, a grin plastered on her perfectly pink lips.
“That guy I was dating,” You give her a look, earning an awkward expression from her, “You know, the one? He’s suddenly working here now and I totally told him about my job here.” You’re worried.
Beyond just worried. Clark can not know about what happened, you can’t even tell a lie when confronted without getting so flustered you tell double the incriminating information. If he were to ask about it?
For all you know you’d admit to fucking yourself with an oversized pink dildo imagine it was his cock filling and stuffing you until you begged him to stop. Or you’d tell him that you probably moaned his name because at night when you can’t sleep you use a rose toy screaming his name as you cover your bed sheets in cum.
Lois pats your back gently. “Y/N, I doubt he’d tell him anything.” You wince, the way he reacted doesn’t tell you his bruised ego will let it go.
“Lois… He was so offended,” She gives you a sympathetic shrug.
“Y/N, if he tells Clark.” She spins in her chair, taking a sip of her coffee. “If he tells him maybe it’d be a good thing.”
“Ugh! Good how?” You press your forehead to the desk. “It’ll just screw up our friendship. He’s my best friend, Lois. I love him, I don’t want to lose him because I’m too much of an idiot to not think of him like *that*.”
Jimmy ruffles your hair, “We all know he’s understanding, plus I doubt the guy will say a word to Clark. Who wants to admit to a thing like that?” He laughs, but it does nothing to ease the ache in your stomach.
“Yeah, yeah.” You sigh, standing up from your hiding spot. “Anyone need more coffee?”
"Not me, but Clark definitely does," Lois says with a smirk, eyeing the two across the bullpen. "And knowing him, he'll ask *you* to get it." She snorts. "Poetic justice, really."
You groan. "If I walk over there right now, I swear my face will combust. Like actual spontaneous human combustion."
Jimmy grins. "Worth it just to see Clark’s face when Chase inevitably says something passive-aggressive like 'So *you're* the guy she screams for?'"
"JIMMY!" you hiss.
Lois cackles into her coffee cup before setting it down and leaning in. "Look, sweetie—if fate’s gonna throw your dirty little secret into the office breakroom like confetti? Maybe stop hiding behind desks and own it." Her eyes twinkle mischievously. "...Or at least wait till he's holding hot coffee to confess."
You sigh, walking to the break room to fill your cup. Eyebrows furrowed as you get lost in the thoughts of what ifs. You don’t even notice as Clark comes in with his empty cup, a small grin on his lips as he sees you.
"Hey, Y/N," Clark says warmly, leaning against the counter as you fumble with the coffee pot. His sleeves are rolled up just enough to show his forearms, strong, dusted with dark hair, and he's got that easy smile that always makes your chest tighten.
"You look like you've seen a ghost. Rough night?" He tilts his head slightly, eyes soft with concern. "Or did Jimmy finally break the printer again?"
You laugh, too high, too fast, but manage to stammer out, "N-no. Just... bad sleep. Weird dreams." Oh God. Why did you say dreams?
Clark doesn’t seem to notice anything off. He just chuckles and holds out his mug, a chipped blue one that says “World’s Okayest Reporter.”
"Coffee heaven is the only cure for weird dreams," he says lightly. "I had one last night where I was late to work because I was flying around Metropolis saving cats from trees and someone kept yelling about copyright infringement." He grins sheepishly. "Make no sense?"
You nod fast, gripping your cup like it's a life raft. "None at all."
He steps closer, just casually close enough that you catch his scent—the oh so familiar musk of him.
Chase comes in, the surprise of him being back in your presence causing you to drop your mug. "Oh shit!" Your heart pounds angrily in your chest, head spinning, and stomach acid prickling the back of your throat.
Clark's hand darts out fast, *too* fast, as the mug smacks toward the floor, catching it mid-air with a soft *clink*. He blinks at it, then at you, eyebrows raised. "Whoa. You okay? That was... nearly catastrophic for my caffeine hopes."
Chase smirks in the doorway, arms crossed. "Clumsy and jumpy? Huh." His voice is light but pointed.
You flush from neck to scalp.
Clark steps slightly in front of you, just a shift of weight, subtle as a breath, but suddenly there’s this solid wall of warmth and height between you and Chase. He gives Chase a polite but distant smile.
"Chase, right? Welcome to the Planet." His tone is friendly enough, but his posture says mine, without him ever claiming anything out loud. "Y/N here once spilled an entire pot on Perry’s lap during a breaking news rush, we keep mugs on probation around her."
A laugh escapes you—real this time—at how absurdly he just defused it.
But it doesn't change the way Chase glares at you, sending uncomfortable shivers down your spine.
Your fingers press lightly into the small of Clark’s back, just a whisper of contact, but it’s like touching a live wire. He goes still for half a heartbeat, then shifts slightly into the touch, warm and solid under your hand.
"Anyway," Clark says, voice smooth but deeper than before, "we should probably get to work. Deadlines wait for no man… or coffee addict." He grins at you over his shoulder, eyes soft.
You swear his back muscles tense under your palm like he’s holding himself in check.
Chase clears his throat. "Yeah. Right. Guess I’ll… see you two around." His tone is tight as he turns to leave, shooting one last look at you that makes your skin crawl.
The second he's gone, Clark exhales and turns fully toward you, concern washing over his face like waves smoothing sand.
"You good?" he asks quietly, searching your eyes now that they’re alone again. His voice drops an octave: "Really good?"
And damn it all, he reaches up without thinking and brushes a loose strand of hair from your forehead.
His fingers linger just a second too long on your skin.
"Mhm, yeah, totally." You laugh awkwardly, eyes on anything but him.
Clark watches you for a beat, too long, too soft, before clearing his throat and stepping back, suddenly fumbling with his coffee mug like it holds the secrets of the universe.
"Right. Cool. Great." He smiles, but it's a little lopsided now, nervous in a way that doesn’t suit him. "Just… you know. If something’s off? You’d tell me, right? Best friend rules."
He taps the rim of his mug twice, an odd little habit he’s had since forever and finally glances up at you through those unfairly long lashes.
You’ve seen him dodge bullets in print form (metaphorically), charm sources out of silence with that crooked grin... but right now? He looks like he’s bracing for rejection without knowing why.
And across the room, Jimmy mouths “D R A M A” at Lois while pretending to type.
Clark doesn’t notice. He only sees you.
Still waiting for an answer that isn’t *“I almost came on my thigh last night imagining your hands on my hips.”*
"He and I just have history, sorta." You blurt out, from the pressure that was never there, your skin flushing beet red as you shift your weight between your feet. "He like totally hates me."
Clark's gaze forces more words out of your lips. "A few nice dates and then, you know, I offended him or something." You giggle like someone's squeezing the sound out of you.
Clark’s jaw tightens—just a flicker, gone in a blink—but his voice stays smooth, easy. "Huh. Funny way to show it. Dude looked at you like you stole his lunch and kicked his dog."
He takes a slow sip of coffee, eyes never leaving yours over the rim of the mug. Warm, probing.
Then he shrugs, feigning nonchalance like he's not mentally filing every syllable you just spilled. "But hey—if he can't handle that you're brilliant, chaotic, and flail at inanimate objects? His loss."
A beat.
His thumb brushes the side of his mug where your fingers almost touched earlier.
"And for the record?" He leans in slightly, close enough you catch the faintest hint of spearmint on his breath. "Best friend rules mean I get to veto anyone who makes *my* person squirm like they’re standing on hot coals."
Your breath hitches.
He doesn’t notice.
Or maybe—he notices everything.
"Ha!" You laugh awkwardly again, eyes wide open as if you watched someone murder your whole family in front of you, then ask if you wanted ice cream.
Thankfully, Lois comes to your rescue, interrupting the tension between you.
"Alright, boys and girls!" Lois announces, striding in with her signature I-run-this-place energy. "Perry wants us in the conference room, alien cult sighting downtown, and no, Jimmy, they’re not just LARPers this time."
She pauses beside you, gives your shoulder a squeeze, firm, grounding, and side-eyes Clark with a smirk that says *I see everything*.
"Coffee break’s over, Kent. Try not to trip over your own feet this time." She tosses him a pen. He catches it one-handed without looking.
"Only if Y/N promises not to drop anything else," he teases softly, but his eyes are warm when they meet yours.
You nod too fast again.
As you turn to follow Lois down the hall, Clark falls into step just behind you, close enough that every so often his elbow brushes yours like an accident.
It isn’t one.
Finally, the day ends without any more events, but the way Chase has been glaring at you tells you he's planning something, and the thought of what makes you sick to your stomach.
Clark ran out to get some late-night snacks before you go back for Friday movie nights at his place, leaving you in the empty office typing away at your computer. That *was* until Chase interrupted your peace.
"So he's the one, hm?" You glance up, eyes meeting his glaring ones. "Kent’s the one you imagined fucking you, when I was fucking balls deep in that ran through pussy?"
Your eyes feel watery, lips trembling as he insults you. Neither of you noticing Clark's figure in the background.
"It's not like that, Chase..." You sigh, voice barely over a whisper. "Look, I didn't mean it."
"Fuck if I care what you meant," He slams his hands on the desk, causing you to jump out of your seat.
Clark moves before sound catches up.
One second, Chase is looming over your desk—tense, furious—and the next, a firm hand grips his shoulder and spins him around with controlled force.
"Whoa. Personal space, man." Clark’s voice is calm. Low. *Dangerously* steady. His eyes are dark, jaw set like carved stone. He doesn’t raise his voice, he doesn’t need to. "She said she didn't mean it. You heard her."
Chase scoffs, trying to pull away. "Back off, Kent. This is between me and—"
"No," Clark cuts in smoothly, not letting go. "This ended when you decided yelling at someone half your size was a good way to handle ego bruising."
He steps slightly in front of you—again—not shielding you completely but making it clear: *You don’t get near her.*
"Clark..." You bite your lip, "Chase and I need to talk." Your eyes fall to the desk, hands trembling as you realize his interference could cause more trouble than necessary.
Kent doesn’t move. Still a solid wall between you and Chase, his fingers slowly uncurl from Chase’s shoulder—but only after locking eyes with him one last time.
“Talk?” Clark asks, voice quieter now, almost amused. “This doesn’t look like talking. It looks like intimidation.” He glances back at you, just a flick of his gaze, and something in his expression softens. Then hardens again when he turns back to Chase.
“You want to talk? Fine. Tomorrow. In the bullpen. With witnesses.” He crosses his arms, towering just slightly more than usual in that effortless way of his. “But tonight? We’re done.”
"No!" Your eyes are wide and cheeks flushed, "No, there can't be witnesses." You bury your face in your hands knowing *exactly* what Chase will do: embarrass you in front of the entire office, and make Clark look at you with disgust.
Clark turns to you, his voice dropping, suddenly gentle, like he’s found a frequency only the two of you can hear.
"Hey," he murmurs, hand lifting like he wants to touch your shoulder but stopping just short. "Look at me."
You peek through your fingers.
His eyes aren’t disgusted. They’re *furious*, yes,but not at you. Never at you. There’s something else in them too… something warm and fierce and protective in the worst possible way.
He turns back to Chase slowly. "Then she decides when and where," Clark says, calm as steel wrapped in velvet. "Not you. Not ever."
And then—quietly, dangerously—he adds:
"If what happened between you two is so damn important… I'd hate for it to get misunderstood. Wouldn't want rumors flying about how you couldn't handle being compared to someone else."
A beat.
Chase pales slightly.
Clark doesn’t blink.
And just like that, the power shifts.
“Go home, Chase,” Clark says finally, voice firm but no longer sharp. “This is over.”
Your heart drops into your stomach at Clark's statement. He knows, he overheard. Chase leaves, grabbing his stuff and angrily slamming the door.
"Clark." Your tone is firm, shameful, and annoyed. "What did you hear?"
Clark turns to you slowly, the fight draining from his posture like water. His hands flex at his sides—like he’s resisting the urge to reach for you.
He doesn’t answer right away. Just watches you. Like he’s trying to memorize the shape of your face in this broken light.
Then, soft as a confession: “Enough.”
“I heard ‘he’s the one.* I heard my name.” He swallows hard and looks down, suddenly unable to hold your gaze. “And then… I heard him say something vile and low that made me want to throw him through a wall.”
"Clark, it's not. It's not like that." Your eyes are wide, cheeks reed as you lean back against your desk, arms crossed protectively over your waist. He can tell you're lying; he always can.
Clark takes one slow step forward. Then another.
The office is quiet now—just the hum of the lights, the distant echo of Chase’s anger fading down the hall.
He stops a breath away from you, close enough that when he speaks, his voice wraps around you like something warm and heavy.
“Don’t,” he says softly. “Don’t lie to me. Not about this.”
His eyes flick up to yours, hesitant, almost afraid, and then away again, like looking at you too long might burn him.
“I’ve spent two years pretending I don’t notice how your laugh hits me like sunlight.” He lets out a shaky breath. “How you steal my coffee and wear my hoodies when it rains… how you fall asleep on my couch with your face smushed into a pillow like some kind of exhausted cartoon character.”
A pause. His fingers twitch at his side.
“And yeah,” he whispers, “maybe I should’ve been mad hearing someone else was in your bed… but all I could think was—wait, she moaned my name? Like… me? Regular old Clark?”
He laughs once, low, disbelieving, but there’s no humor in it.
"Clark..." You stare up at him, eyes scanning his face as if you're attempting to read his thoughts. "It's not the first time," The words spill out, heart racing.
"I'm always moaning your name, thinking about you-" You cut yourself off, shocked by not surprised at your confessions.
Clark goes very, very still.
Like the air itself just froze.
His breath hitches, audible, raw, and his eyes flood with something so hot, so tender, you feel it in your bones.
“You… what?” His voice is barely a whisper. Throat tight. Like he’s afraid to hope.
You squeeze your arms tighter around yourself, chin dipping low. “I don’t even mean to,” you mutter, half-laughing at your own ruin. “It’s just, nights when I can’t sleep… when I’m alone… It’s always you. Your hands. Your voice. The way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention.”
Clark exhales like he’s been punched beautifully.
Then, without warning, he closes the distance between you in one step, cupping your face gently but firmly in his hands.
“Look at me,” he says softly. Roughly. Like a prayer and a demand all at once.
You do. And what you see in his eyes stops time: awe. Hunger. And years of quiet longing finally breaking free like light through clouds.
"Clark, I'm sorry..." You breathe out, eyebrows knitted together, eyes glossy. Clark’s thumbs brush your cheeks, soft, grounding, and he shakes his head, voice low and fierce.
"Sorry? Y/N… don’t you *dare* apologize for this." He lets out a breathless laugh, half-awed, half-disbelieving. "I’ve spent the last two years jerking off in my apartment thinking about the way you bite your lip when you’re concentrating on a story."
Your eyes widen.
He *smirks*, rare, crooked, devastating, and leans in until his forehead rests against yours.
"I’d lie awake imagining it was my name you whimpered when you came. And now you're standing here telling me it was?" He shivers—actually shivers—"Christ. I’m the one who should be sorry. For not saying anything sooner."
Silence fills the air before whispering, “Can I kiss you now? Or do I have to wait till we’re both fired for workplace indecency?”
"Fuck," You grab his face eagerly, pressing your lips to his hungrily. The passion of the past heavy in your embrace.
Clark groans the second your lips hit his, like he’s been holding this in for years, like he’s drowning and you’re air.
His hands slide from your face down to your waist, pulling you flush against him with a strength that makes your knees weak. Not Superman-level—no desks broken, no walls dented—but solid, real, his.
The kiss is messy. Hungry. Teeth clashing, breaths fumbling, hands desperate.
He tastes like coffee and spearmint gum and something uniquely Clark, warmth wrapped in restraint, barely holding on.
When he finally breaks it, just enough to breathe, his forehead drops to yours again, eyes closed, voice ragged:
“God… I’ve wanted to do that since the day you spilled orange juice on my laptop and said ‘I’ll lick it off if you want.’” He laughs breathlessly. “You have no idea how hard I had to work not to say ‘deal.’”
You giggle against his lips.
He kisses you again, slower this time. Deeper. Like he's memorizing the shape of you.
And somewhere in the distance… A slow clap begins.
You both whirl around. Jimmy stands there.
"Fucking Friday movie nights," You sigh, looking at Jimmy and Lois standing at the door with grins on their faces.
Jimmy claps once more, slow and dramatic. "And scene! Took you two long enough. I was starting to think I’d have to fake a kidnapping just to get some momentum."
Lois steps forward, smirking, arms crossed. "I gave them six months after the whole ‘almost dying in the elevator together’ incident." She shakes her head. "I underestimated their stubbornness."
Clark flushes bright red—actually glows pink from neck to hairline—and mutters, “You guys have got to stop sneaking up on people.”
“Oh, honey,” Lois says, patting his arm, “we didn’t sneak. You two were just too busy making up for three years of sexual tension to hear us walk in.” She turns to you with a wink. “Worth the wait?”
You hide your face against Clark’s chest. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, tight, proud, and drops a soft kiss on top of your head.
"Hell yes," he murmurs, just loud enough for everyone to hear.
Jimmy fake-sobs into his sleeve. "I'm so happy I might puke glitter."
And just like that, your biggest mistake turned into the best thing that ever happened to you. Sitting in Clark’s apartment, wrapped in his arms as some action film plays in the distance, it all feels perfectly right.
Once midnight hits, Jimmy pulls Lois out the door, mumbling about needing a ride back or something. Maybe it’s all just an excuse to get out of your guys hair before things got heated in front of them.
You nuzzle your face in Clarks lap, lips parted, eyes shut. Kent’s fingers trace slow circles in your hair, his other hand resting warm on your hip as the glow of the TV flickers across the room.
The action movie’s loud explosions go unnoticed—both of you are miles past plot.
When midnight passes and the door clicks shut behind Jimmy and Lois, he lets out a soft, breathy laugh.
“Y’know,” he murmurs, voice low and sleepy-sweet, “I used to pretend we were doing this just so I could fall asleep without feeling like a creep.”
You tilt your head up slightly, lips brushing his thigh. “And now?”
Now,” he says softly, then shifts suddenly, gently lifting you until you’re straddling his lap on the couch. One hand cradles your face; the other rests low on your back like an anchor.
“Now I get to do it for real.” He kisses you, slow, deep, and pulls back just enough to whisper:
“No more pretending.”
"Theres another thing we can do for real now." You nip his bottom lip, hands holding his neck gently. "No more late nights, touching ourselves, wishing it was the other..."
Clark lets out a ragged breath, half-groan, half-confession, as your lips trail his jaw.
“You’re killing me,” he murmurs, voice thick. “You have no idea how many nights I’ve jerked off thinking about your mouth on me… imagining you saying my name like it’s a prayer.”
He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, dark with want, but still so Clark: tender, careful.
“Only if you’re sure,” he whispers. “No pressure. No rush.”
You answer by grinding down against him, just once, and the way he shudders, like he’s barely holding on?
“Y/N,” he breathes, forehead pressing to yours. “God… I’ve wanted this so damn long.”
His hands slide under your shirt, warm palms on bare skin, and suddenly it's not just fantasy anymore.
It's real.
It's yours.
And for the first time?
So is he.
Clark’s eyes darken, his pupils blown wide with desire as he takes in the sight of you straddling him. The way your chest rises and falls with each shaky breath, the needy whine that escapes your lips as you grind down, it’s like watching a dream come to life right in front of him.
His hands move to the hem of your shirt, tugging it up, his fingertips grazing the soft skin of your waist before you lift your arms to let him remove it completely. Your bra is the next to go, and his eyes feast on the sight of your breasts, full and heavy with desire, your nipples peaked and begging for his attention.
He doesn’t waste any time, his thumbs brushing over the sensitive tips, watching as your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open in a silent moan.
You lean in, capturing his lips again, your kisses growing more desperate, more demanding with each passing second. His hand slides down to your waistband, unbuttoning your pants with a flick of his thumb, the sound echoing through the room like a gunshot, breaking the quiet tension that had been building between you.
He pulls them down, along with your underwear, and you can feel the heat of his cock pressing against you, thick and hard and ready. You’re already so wet, so fucking wet for him, and when he finally slides a finger into your pussy, you almost come on the spot.
He groans, the sound vibrating through your chest, and you know he feels it, too—how much you want him, how much you’ve needed this. His finger moves in a slow, deliberate rhythm, and your hips rock against him, chasing the pleasure that’s just out of reach.
You can feel it building, like a storm gathering on the horizon, and you know you’re going to break apart in his arms. But before you can, Clark pulls back, a smirk playing on his lips. “Not yet,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
He stands, lifts you off the couch, and carries you to his bedroom, laying you down gently on the bed. You watch him strip out of his own clothes, his body a work of art in the soft glow of the streetlights filtering through the blinds.
And then he’s over you, his body pressing into yours, his cock sliding through your wetness, and you know you can’t wait anymore. You wrap your legs around his waist, silently begging him to fill you, and when he finally pushes inside, it’s like coming home.
He stretches you, fills you completely, and you arch up to meet him, desperate for more, for all of him. His hips move in a steady, deep rhythm, each thrust pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
You’re both lost in it now, the world outside fading away until it’s just the two of you, your bodies entwined in a dance of passion and lust that’s been building for years. And when you finally come, it’s with his name on your lips—not a whisper, not a moan, but a scream that shakes the walls.
You feel him tense, his grip tightening on your hips, and then he’s coming too, his cock pulsing deep inside you, marking you as his in the most primal, claiming way possible.
As he collapses beside you, his breathing ragged and his heart hammering against your back, you know that from now on, every time he hears your name, every time you moan in the throes of pleasure, it will be his doing.
And that thought sends another wave of desire crashing through you, making you want to do it all over again. Because now that the secret’s out, there’s no going back—only forward into a future of endless passion and need that you’ve both been craving for so long.
dripping like honey
a/n: is the picture in the header clark kent? no but go with it okay. it matched the aesthetic i was going for. this is a nonsensical drabble of pure horny nonsense because i couldn’t fucking help myself. seriously someone needs to stop me from staring at pictures of this man and screaming internally. anyways it’s pwp and pure filth and full of lovey dovey romance because this man is killing me slowly. divider by @/strangergraphics.
summary: there wouldn't be another man you'd willfully allow to find eternity between your thighs except him. OR clark kent absolutely gets drunk eat pussy.
word count: 1.3k+
pairing: clark kent x f!reader
warnings: EXCPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, pwp, oral (f receiving), hints of sub!clark, body worship, fluff, squirting, cum eating, cumplay, begging, he finishes untouched, pussy drunk clark, cussing, needy clark, it's basically filth.
You don't remember how long it’s been. The evening dusk dripped into the glow of a midnight moon and still you were there, clawing at rumpled white sheets. Your tongue was heavy, eyes even more so. And even if you wanted to get up you could barely lift your hand to dig into his tousled black curls. A thick moan rising up and out of your permanently parted mouth.
“Clark-” you slurred, eyes crossing tighter than your toes when his tongue flicked along your over sensitive clit. “Oh f-fuck.”
He smiled against the wet skin of your thigh. “You said I could keep going.”
Really it was your own fucking fault. But you had yet to meet anyone—including you—who could say no to Clark Kent when he flashed those glistening ocean eyes. He could get away with atrocities not even humans could think up. The only reason he never did was because his soul was too pure, his heart practically glowing in the darkened bedroom as he dropped to his elbows. His chin smeared in your slick.
“I said one more,” you forced out, whining at the emptiness left behind where his fingers were hooked into you right down to the knuckle. “S-Shit baby-”
“That was one more.”
“That was two,” you retorted, unable to stop your thighs from shaking as they lay draped over his broad shoulders.
No response. Asbolutely nothing. He was too busy staring at the way your pussy fluttered, silently begging for him to bury two more fingers into the wet heat he’d happily get lost in. The faint red neon glow of your alarm clock proved your point. Had it been an hour already? Over sixty minutes of being stretched and teased and devoured by the large man enraptured by the way your hole dripped a sticky mess of cum.
The peek of his pink tongue swiping along his bottom lip siezed your chest, air catching in your throat. His cheeks were stained red, pupils blown out and black, and you swore you could barely recognize the sweet bumbling man from earlier in the day. Your paths crossing only a few times—what with you being down in the print room half the time. But that certainly didn’t stop this. Two people that were always meant to find one another, permanently tied from the start.
“I can make it three,” he mumbled more to himself.
You choked on your spit. “Clark-”
“Please.” Teeth scraped along your hip, soft and reverent in his gentle nature—even as he begged to eat you out for longer than you could take. “I’ll make you feel so good. Tastes like honey, you got no idea how good it is. One more. Just one more-”
He rambled as you burned before his very gaze—heart hammering an unsteady beat he could no doubt hear. A kiss to your pelvis became a direct line down to your oversensitive throbbing clit. Tongue sweeping out and mouth molding over your slick lips. He made out with your pussy, moaning into the warm flesh, as if it were your mouth. And you shook beneath his touch, gasped at the way he sucked your skin into his mouth, his nose buried in the tufts of hair sticky with his spit.
“You’re gonna fucking kill me,” you rasped, fingers yanking at his curls to push him close.
Before you understood the extent of his powers you were terrified of suffocating him. Horrified at the thought of breaking his jaw, cutting off his airways with a wrong move. Now you grinded onto his nose with a thick moan—eyes rolling back, heat flushing beneath the glistening skin of your chest.
He came up with a dazed grin, eyes drooped low enough to send sparks down your legs. “Love you too much to kill you.”
“Y-yes,” you whimpered, pushing down onto his tongue with a cry. “I want another.”
His response was a hoarse groan you felt vibrate up into your chest, eyes fluttering shut as he sucked at your clit with a wet smack of his lips. You tried to catch your breath. Did whatever you could to drag air into convulsing lungs, but the effort was useless when three fingers slid up and into your dripping entrance. Crying out at the stretch you fucked yourself along his face, involuntarily kicking your feet against his back and yanking at his hair tight enough to make him whine.
“‘S so much,” you slurred, tears spilling down your temples and falling lost to the pillow beneath you.
“Take it for me?” His words were breathy and pitched, the entire bottom half of his face shining in the lowlight of his bedside lamp.
How could you say no? When he looked at you like the sun wasn’t enough to sustain him if you weren’t here.
You nodded, gasping in a lungful of air as his fingers hooked in just a bit further, pressing up along your spongey walls with a thick moan. Clark was lost. All his attuned sensed entirely shut off when you grew wet enough to spill along his tongue. Each thrust of his fingers punctuated by the wet squelch of your pussy.
“So delicious,” he mumbled under his breath, tongue curling around your clit.
It happened before you could really place what it was. That violent pull on your stomach, tight enough to strain your muscles as you dragged your hips along his tongue—fucking yourself on his quick moving fingers. Each breath came in wet gasps, eyes rolling back far enough to hurt, and Clark felt it in the throbbing pulse of your walls. He grinned, doubling down on each thrust and watching as you fought for some mere piece of control—anything to combat the rush of pleasure threatening to crack down your spine.
“I’m—fuck—Clark w-what is that?” you cried.
“Let go for me.”
“B-But-”
“I got you,” he breathed, his other hand lacing between your clenched fingers. “C’mon sweetheart. Give me one more taste?”
He ducked down with a pleasant moan, tongue flicking up the span of your pussy, fingers pressing hard along the spot that practically burned with euphoria. And you broke. Sobbed his name loud enough for it to resonate in his neighbors apartment. You came so hard you felt as if you’d gone blind, body shaking with beneath his tight grip. A rush of liquid spilled between your thighs, wetting the bed, his face, and everything in between. But Clark loved it.
The broken sound at the back of his throat sent another wave of mind numbing pleasure through your body. His mouth sealed over you, fingers dragging it out for longer than you could take. But you were his good fucking girl and you would take it in an instant.
Maybe that’s why you let him suck at your entrance until practically nothing but his spit remained. Each deep rooted grunt and moan loud enough to shake your chest. He burrowed his face into it, eyes rolling back and hips grinding down into the bed.
“How’s it taste?” you mumbled, peeling open your eyes to see his glazed over with lust.
He gasped, fucking himself along the sheets now sprayed with your cum. “G-Good.”
“Share?”
Clark crawled up and over your body quicker than usual, his cock swollen to a near purplish hue. You felt it twitch on your thigh, felt the warm spurt of cum land on your skin the second his lips touched yours. He came with a groan, tongue licking deep into your mouth and hips grinding down along your hip—drawing it out for as long as he could. The flavor of you on his tongue overtook your senses, aftershocks still ravaging your body.
“You came already,” you said into his kiss, teeth clacking against his.
If it was at all possible his cheeks flushed a darker shade of crimson. “I could do it again.”
The hard twitch of his cock told you all you needed to know. “One more?”
He smiled, lips dragging down your jaw. “I can make it two.”
to whom it may concern
clark kent 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 / 𝐭𝐰 – 18+, MDNI, secret admirer au, slowburn romance, mutual pining, radical acceptance and love is the real punk rock, yearning, clark is a softie, smut, piv, oral sex (f!recieving), fingering, creampie, touch starved clark Kent word count: 18k Summary: You start getting anonymous love notes at the Daily Planet—soft, sincere, impossibly romantic. You fall for the words first, then realize they sound a lot like Clark Kent. And just when the truth begins to unravel, you start to suspect he might be more than just the writer… he might be Superman himself. notes – not proofread and my first full Clark Kent fic!
— reblogs comments & likes are appreciated
The first thing you notice isn’t the coffee—it’s the smell.
Sharp espresso. The exact blend you order on days when the world feels like sandpaper. Dark, hot, and just a touch too strong. But when you reach your desk and set your bag down, the cup is already waiting for you, balanced on the corner of your keyboard like it belongs there.
A single post-it clings to the cardboard sleeve, the ink a little smudged from condensation:
“You looked like you had a long night.”
No name. No heart. Just that.
You stare at it for a second too long. The office hums around you—phones ringing, printers whining, the low buzz of voices—but your ears tune it all out as you reread the handwriting. Rounded letters. Slight right slant. You can’t place it.
And no one in this building knows your coffee order. You made sure of that.
Across the bullpen, Jimmy Olsen drops into his chair with a paper bag in his teeth and two cameras slung around his neck.
“Someone’s got a secret admirer,” he sings, catching sight of the note.
You glance up, but try to play it cool. “Could be a delivery mistake.”
He snorts. “Right. And I’m dating Wonder Woman.”
Lois, passing by with a stack of mock-ups under one arm, pauses just long enough to lift a perfectly sculpted brow. “Who’s dating Wonder Woman?”
“Jimmy,” you and Jimmy say in unison.
“Right,” she says, deadpan, and moves on.
You feel a little heat crawl up your neck. You pull the cup closer. The lid’s still warm.
You’re still turning the note over in your hand when Clark Kent rounds the corner. His hair is a little damp at the ends, like he didn’t have time to dry it properly, already curling from the late-summer humidity. His tie—striped, loud, undeniably Clark—is halfway undone, the knot drifting lower by the second. His glasses are slipping down his nose like they’re trying to abandon ship.
He’s juggling three manila folders, a spiral-bound notebook balanced on top, a half-eaten blueberry muffin in his teeth, and what you’re almost certain is the entire city council’s budget report from 2024 spilling out of the bottom folder. It’s absurd. Kind of impressive. Very him.
“Clark—careful,” you call out, mostly on instinct.
He startles at the sound of your voice and turns a little too fast. The top file slips. He manages to catch it, barely, with an awkward swipe of his forearm, the muffin top bouncing to the floor with a quiet thwup. He rights the stack again with both arms now locked tight around the paperwork, and when he looks at you, he’s already wearing one of those sheepish, winded smiles.
“Morning sweetheart,” he says breathlessly. His voice is warm. Rough around the edges like he hasn’t spoken yet today. “Sorry, I’m late—Perry wanted the zoning report and the express line was… not express.”
You don’t answer right away. Because his eyes flick toward your desk—specifically the coffee cup sitting at the edge of your keyboard. And the note stuck to its sleeve. He freezes. Just for a second. A micro-hesitation. One breath caught too long in his chest. It’s nothing.
Except… it’s not.
Then he clears his throat—loud and awkward, like he swallowed gravel—and shuffles the stack in his arms like it suddenly needs reorganizing. “New… uh, budget drafts,” he says quickly, eyes very intentionally not on the post-it. “I left the tag on that one by mistake—ignore the highlighter. I had a system. Kind of.”
You blink at him, watching his ears start to go red. “…You okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” he says, waving one hand too fast, almost drops everything again. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Just, you know. Monday.”
He flashes you the smile again—crooked, a little boyish, like he still isn’t sure if he belongs here even after all this time. That’s always been the thing about Clark. He doesn’t posture. Doesn’t strut. He’s got this open-face sincerity, like the world is still worth showing up for, even when it kicks you in the ribs.
And you’ve seen him work. He’s brilliant. Way too observant to be as clumsy as he pretends to be. But it’s charming. In that small-town, too-tall-for-his-own-good, mutters-puns-when-he’s-nervous kind of way.
You like him. That’s… not the problem. The problem is— He turns to walk past you, misjudges the distance, and thunks his thigh into the sharp edge of your desk with a grunt.
You flinch. “You good?”
“Yep.” He winces, but manages a thumbs-up. “Just, uh… recalibrating my ankles.”
Then he’s gone, retreating to the safe, familiar walls of his cubicle, still muttering to himself. Something about rechecking source notes and whether anyone notices when hyperlinks are one shade too blue.
You’re left staring at the cup. At the note.
You run your thumb over the y again, the way it loops low and curls back. There’s something oddly familiar about the penmanship. Not perfect. Neat, but casual. Like whoever wrote it didn’t plan to stop writing once they started. Like they meant it.
You don’t say it aloud—not even to yourself—but the truth is whispering at the edge of your brain.
It looks like his. It feels like his. But no. That would be— Clark Kent is thoughtful, sure. He’s the kind of guy who remembers how you like your takeout and always lets you borrow his chargers. He holds elevators and never interrupts, and he stays late when you need someone to double-check your interview transcript even though it’s technically not his beat.
He’s the kind of guy who brings you a jacket during late-night stakeouts without asking. He’s the kind of guy who makes you laugh without trying. But he couldn’t be the secret admirer.
…Could he?
You glance toward his cubicle. You can’t see him, but you can feel him there. The way his presence always lingers, somehow warmer than everyone else’s. Quieter.
You tuck the note into the back pocket of your notebook.
Just in case.
-
You forget about the note by lunch.
Mostly.
The newsroom doesn’t really give you space to linger in your thoughts—phones ringing, printers jamming, interns darting between desks like caffeinated ghosts. It’s chaos, always is, and you thrive in it. But even as you’re skimming through edits and fixing a headline Jimmy typo’d into a minor war crime, part of your brain keeps circling back to that one y.
By the time you head back from a sandwich run with mustard on your sleeve and a half-dozen emails on your phone, there’s another cup on your desk. Same order. No receipt. No name.
But this time, the note reads:
“The line you cut in paragraph six was my favorite. About hope not being the same thing as naivety.”
You freeze mid-step, bag still dangling from one hand.
You hadn’t published that line. You wrote it. Typed it, then stared at it for twenty minutes before deleting it—thought it was too sentimental, too soft for the piece. You didn’t want to seem like you were editorializing. And yet… it had meant something. You’d loved that line.
And someone else had read it. Which means…
Your eyes flick up. Around.
The bullpen looks the same as always: fluorescent lights buzzing, keys clacking, the faint scent of stale coffee and fast food. Jimmy’s arguing with someone about lens filters. Lois is deep in a phone call, gesturing with a pen like she might stab whoever’s on the other end.
And then—Clark. Sitting at his desk, halfway behind the divider. Fiddling with his glasses like they won’t sit quite right on the bridge of his nose. He glances up at you and smiles. Soft. A little crooked. Familiar in a way that does something deeply unhelpful to your chest.
You stare for a second too long.
He blinks. Looks down quickly. Reaches for his pen, drops it, fumbles, curses under his breath. You see the top of his ears turning red.
Something inside you shifts. The notes are sweet, yes. But this is specific. This is someone who read your draft. Someone who noticed the cut line.
You never shared it outside your initial file. Not even with Lois. You almost didn’t send it to copy at all. So… who the hell could’ve read it? How could they have seen it?
You return to your chair slowly, like it might help the pieces click into place. Your eyes catch the handwriting again.
The loops. The slight leftward tilt.
Clark does have neat handwriting. You’ve seen his notebook, all tidy bullet points and overly polite margin notes.
You tuck this note into your drawer. Next to the other one.
You don’t say anything.
-
Later that afternoon, the newsroom’s background noise crescendos into something louder—Lois and Dan from editorial locked in another philosophical brawl about media framing. You’re not part of the fight, but apparently your latest piece is.
“It’s fluffy,” Dan says, waving the printed article like it personally offended him. “It doesn’t do anything. What’s the point of it, other than making people feel things?”
You open your mouth—just barely—ready to defend yourself even though it’s exhausting. You don’t get the chance. Clark beats you to it.
“I think it was insightful, actually,” he says from across the bullpen, voice louder than usual. “And emotionally resonant.”
The silence is sharp. Dan arches a brow. “Listen, Kent. No one asked you.”
Clark straightens his tie. “Well, maybe they should.”
Now everyone’s looking. Lois leans back in her chair, visibly suppressing a smile. Dan scoffs and mutters something about sentimentality being a plague.
You just stare at Clark. He meets your eyes, then seems to realize what he’s done and looks at his notebook like it’s suddenly the most fascinating object in the known universe.
Your heart does something inconvenient. Because now you’re wondering if it is him. Not just because he defended you, or because he could have somehow read the line that didn’t make it to print, but because of the way he did it. The way his voice shook just a little. The way he looked furious on your behalf.
Clark is soft, yes. Awkward, often. But there’s something sharp underneath it. A quiet kind of intensity that only shows up when it matters. Like someone who’s spent a long time listening, and even longer choosing his moments.
You make a show of checking your notes. Pretending like your stomach didn’t just flip. You don’t look at him again. But you feel him looking.
-
The office after midnight doesn’t feel like the same building. The lights buzz quieter. The chairs stop squeaking. There’s an eerie sort of calm that settles once the rush hour of deadlines has passed and only the ghosts and last-minute layout edits remain.
Clark is two desks away, sleeves rolled up, tie finally abandoned and flung haphazardly over the back of his chair. He’s squinting at the screen like he’s trying to will the copy into formatting itself.
You’re just as tired—though slightly less heroic-looking about it. Somewhere behind you, the printer groans. A rogue page slides off the tray and flutters to the floor like it’s giving up on life.
Clark gets up to grab it before you can.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” you say as he crouches to retrieve it. “Or fall asleep with your face on the carpet and get stuck there forever.”
He offers a smile, crooked and half-asleep. “I’ve survived worse. Once fell asleep in a compost pile back in high school.”
You pause. “Why?”
“There was a dare,” he says, deadpan. “And a cow. The rest is classified, sweetheart.”
You snort before you can stop it.
It’s late. You’re punchy. The kind of tired that makes everything a little funnier, a little looser around the edges. He sits back down, stretching long limbs with a groan, and you let the quiet settle again.
“You know Clark, sometimes I feel invisible here.” You don’t mean to say it. It just slips out, quiet and rough from somewhere behind your ribcage.
Clark looks up instantly.
You keep staring at your screen. “It’s all bylines and deadlines, and then the story prints and nobody remembers who wrote it. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or not. No one sees you.” You tap the corner of your spacebar absently. “Feels like yelling into a tunnel most days.”
You expect him to say something vague. Supportive. A standard “no, you’re great!” brush-off. But when you finally glance over, Clark is staring at you with his brow furrowed like someone just insulted his mom.
“That’s ridiculous,” he mutters. “You’re one of the most important voices in the room.”
The words are firm. Not flustered. Not dorky. Certain. It disarms you a little.
You blink. “Clark—”
“No. I mean it, sweetheart," he says, almost stubborn. “You make people care. Even when they don’t want to. That’s rare.”
He looks down at his coffee like maybe it betrayed him by going cold too fast. You don’t say anything. But that ache in your chest eases, just a little.
-
The next morning, you’re halfway through your walk to work when you find it.
Tucked into the side pocket of your coat—the one you only use for receipts and empty gum wrappers. Folded carefully. Familiar ink.
“Even whispers echo when they’re true.”
You stop walking. Stand there frozen on the corner outside a coffee shop as cars blur past and someone curses at a cab a few feet away. You read the note twice, then a third time.
It’s simple. No flourish. No name. Just words—quiet, certain, and meant for you.
You don’t know why it lands the way it does. Maybe because it doesn’t try to dismiss how you feel. It just… reframes it. You may feel invisible, small, unheard—but this person is saying: that doesn’t make your truth meaningless. You matter, even if it feels like no one’s listening.
You fold the note gently, like it might tear. You don’t tuck this one into your notebook. You keep it in your coat pocket. All day.
Like armor.
-
By midafternoon, the bullpen’s usual noise has shapeshifted into something louder—one of those half-serious, half-combative newsroom debates that always starts in one cubicle and ends up consuming half the floor.
This time, it’s the great Superman Property Damage Discourse, sparked—unsurprisingly—by Lois Lane slapping a freshly printed article onto her desk like it insulted her directly.
“He destroyed the entire north side of the building,” she says, exasperated, as if she’s already had this argument with the universe and lost.
You don’t look up right away. You’re knee-deep in notes for your community housing series and trying to keep your lunch from leaking onto your desk. But the words still hit.
“To stop a tanker explosion,” you point out without much heat, eyes still scanning your page. “There were twenty-seven people inside.”
“My point,” Lois says, crossing her arms, “is that someone has to pay for all that glass.”
“Pretty sure it’s the insurance companies,” you mutter.
Lois raises a brow at you, but doesn’t push it. She’s used to you playing devil’s advocate—usually it’s just for fun. She doesn’t know this one’s starting to feel a little personal.
And then Clark walks in. He’s balancing two coffee cups and what looks like a roll of blueprints tucked under one arm, sleeves rolled up and tie already loose like the day’s been longer than it should’ve been. His hair’s a mess, wind-tousled and curling near the back of his neck, and he’s got that familiar expression on—half-focused, half-apologetic, like he’s perpetually arriving a few seconds after he meant to.
He slows as he approaches, catches the tail end of Lois’s rant, and hesitates. Just a second. Just long enough for something behind his glasses to tighten. Then, without warning or warm-up, he steps in like a man walking into traffic.
“He’s doing his best, okay?” he blurts. “He can’t help the building fell—there was a fireball.”
The bullpen quiets a beat. Just enough for the words to settle and sting. Lois doesn’t even look up from her monitor. “You sound like a fanboy.”
“I just—” Clark huffs. “He’s trying to protect people. That’s not… easy.”
He lifts his hand to gesture, but his elbow clips the corner of his desk and sends his coffee tipping. The paper cup wobbles, then crashes onto the floor in a slosh of brown across your loose notes.
“Clark!” You shove back in your chair, startled.
“Sorry—sorry—hang on—” He lunges for a stack of printer paper, overcorrects, and knocks over another folder in the process. Its contents scatter like leaves in the wind. He flails to grab what he can, muttering apologies the whole time.
The tension breaks—not because of what he said, but because of the way he said it. Because he’s suddenly in a mess of his own making, trying to mop it up with a handful of flyers and an empty paper towel roll, red-faced and flustered.
You can’t help it. You smile. Just a little.
Lois glances sideways at the scene, then turns to you, tone dry as dust. “Well. He’s… passionate.”
You arch a brow. “That’s one word for it.”
She doesn’t notice the way your eyes linger on him. She doesn’t see the shift in your chest when you watch him drop to one knee, scooping up wet files with shaking hands, his jaw tight—not from embarrassment, but from something quieter. Fiercer.
Because Clark hadn’t just jumped to Superman’s defense.
He’d meant it.
Like someone who knows what it feels like to try and still fall short. Like someone who’s carried the weight of people’s expectations. Like someone who’s watched something burn and had to live with the cost of saving it.
You know it’s ridiculous. You know it’s a stretch. But still… your breath catches.
He steadies the last folder against his desk, rubs the back of his neck, and looks up—right at you. Your eyes meet for a second too long.
You offer him a look that says it’s okay. He returns one that says thanks. And then the moment passes. You turn back to your screen, heart pounding for reasons you won’t name. And Clark returns to quietly drying his desk with a half-crumpled press release.
You don’t say anything. But you’re not watching him by accident anymore.
-
You’ve read the latest note a dozen times.
“Sometimes I wish I could just be honest with you. But I can’t—not yet.”
There’s no flourish. No compliment. Just rawness, stripped of any careful metaphor or charm. It’s still anonymous, but the voice… it feels closer now. Less like a mystery, more like someone standing just out of sight.
Someone with hands that tremble when they pass you a coffee. Someone who knows how your voice sounds when you’re frustrated. Someone who once told you, very softly, that your words matter.
You start thinking about Clark again. And once the thought roots, it’s impossible to pull it free.
-
You test him. It’s petty, maybe. Pointless, probably. But you do it anyway. That afternoon, you’re both holed up near the copy desk, reviewing your latest layout. Clark’s seated beside you, sleeves pushed up, his pen tapping lightly against the margin of your column draft. His knee keeps bumping yours under the desk, and every time, he apologizes with a shy smile that doesn’t quite meet your eyes.
You’re running on too little sleep and too many thoughts. So you try it. “You ever hear that phrase? ‘Even whispers echo when they’re true’?”
He looks up from the page. Blinks behind his smudged glasses. “Uh… sure. I mean, not in everyday conversation, but yeah. Sounds poetic.”
You tilt your head, eyes narrowing just slightly. “I read it recently,” you say, like you’re thinking aloud. “Can’t stop turning it over. I don’t know—it stuck with me.”
He stares at you for a beat too long. Then clears his throat and drops his gaze, pen suddenly very busy again. “Yeah. It’s… it’s a good line.”
“You don’t think it’s a little dramatic?”
“No,” he says too quickly. “I mean—it’s true. Sometimes the quietest things are the ones worth listening to.”
You nod, pretending to go back to your edits. But his pen taps a little faster. The corner of his mouth twitches. He’s trying to look neutral, maybe even confused. But Clark Kent couldn’t lie his way out of a grocery list.
And if he did write it, that means he knows you’re testing him.
You don’t call him on it.
Not yet.
-
Later that evening, he helps you file your story. Technically, Clark’s already done for the day—he could’ve clocked out an hour ago, could’ve gone home and slipped into his flannel pajamas and vanished into whatever quiet life he keeps outside these walls. But instead, he lingers.
His jacket is folded neatly over the back of your chair, sleeves still warm from his arms. His glasses sit low on his nose, catching the screen’s glow, one smudge blooming near the top corner where he’s pushed them up too many times with the side of his thumb.
He leans over the desk beside you, one palm braced flat against the surface, the other gently scrolling through your draft. His frame takes up too much space in that warm, grounding way—shoulder brushing yours occasionally, breath warm at your temple when he leans in to squint at a sentence.
You’re quiet, but not for lack of things to say. It’s the way he’s reading—carefully, like every word deserves to be held. There’s no red pen. No quick fixes. Just soft soundless reverence, like your work is already whole and he’s just lucky to witness it.
And his hands.
God, his hands.
You try not to look, but they’re impossible to ignore. Big and capable, yes, but gentle in the way he uses them—fingers skimming the edge of the printout like the paper might bruise, thumb stroking over the corner where the page curls, slow and absentminded. The pads of his fingers are slightly ink-stained, callused just at the tips. He smells faintly like cheap soap and newsroom toner and something you can’t name but have already begun to crave.
You wonder—just for a moment—what it would be like to feel those hands touch you with purpose instead of hesitation. Without the paper buffer. Without the quiet restraint.
He leans a little closer. You can feel the press of his shirt sleeve against your arm now, soft cotton against skin. “Looks perfect to me,” he murmurs.
It’s not the words. It’s the way he says them—like he’s not just talking about the story. You swallow, pulse jumping. You wonder if he hears it. You wonder if he feels it.
His eyes flick to yours for just a second. Something hangs in the air—fragile, charged. Then the phone rings down the hall, and the spell breaks like steam off hot glass. He steps back. You exhale like you’ve been holding your breath for three paragraphs.
You don’t look at him as he grabs his jacket. You just nod and whisper, “Thanks.”
And he just smiles—soft and private, like a secret passed from his mouth to your chest.
-
You don’t go home right away. You sit at your desk long after Clark and the rest of the bullpen has emptied out, coat draped over your shoulders like a blanket, fingers toying with the folded edge of the note in your lap.
“Sometimes I wish I could just be honest with you. But I can’t—not yet.”
You’ve read it enough times to have it memorized. Still, your eyes trace the handwriting again—careful lettering, no signature, just that quiet ache bleeding between the lines.
It’s the first one that feels more than just flirtation. This one hurts a little. So you do something you haven’t done before.
You pull a post-it from the stack beside your monitor, scribble down one sentence—no flourish, no punctuation.
“Then tell me in person.”
You slide it beneath your stapler before you leave. A deliberate offering. You don’t know how he’s been getting the others to you—if it’s during your lunch break or when you’re in the print room or bent over in the archives. But somehow, he knows.
So this time, you let him find something waiting.
And when you finally shrug on your coat and step into the elevator, the empty quiet of the newsroom echoes behind you like a held breath.
-
The next morning, there’s no reply. Not on your desk. Not slipped into your coat pocket. Not scribbled in the margin of your planner or tucked beneath your coffee cup. Just silence.
You try not to feel disappointed. You try not to spiral. Maybe he’s waiting. Maybe he’s scared. Maybe you’re wrong and it’s not who you think. But your chest feels hollow all the same—like something almost happened and didn’t.
So that night, you write again. Your hands shake more than they should for something so simple. A sticky note. A few words. But this one names it.
“One chance. One sunset. Centennial Park. Bench by the lion statue. Tomorrow.”
You stare at the words a long time before setting it down. This one’s not a joke. Not a dare. Not a flirtation scribbled in passing. This is an invitation. A door left open.
You slide it under your stapler the same way you’ve received every one of his notes—unassuming, tucked in plain sight. If he wants to find it, he will. You’ve stopped questioning how he does it. Maybe it’s timing. Maybe it’s instinct. Maybe it’s something else entirely.
But you know he’ll see it.
You pack up slowly. Shoulders tight. Bag heavier than usual. The newsroom is quiet at this hour—just the low hum of the overhead fluorescents and the soft, endless churn of printers in the back. You turn off your monitor, loop your coat over your arm, and make your way to the elevator.
Halfway there, something makes you stop. You glance back. Clark is still at his desk.
You hadn’t heard him return. You hadn’t even noticed the light at his station flick back on. But there he is—elbows on the desk, hands folded in front of him, eyes already lifted.
Watching you.
His face is unreadable, but his gaze lingers longer than it should. Soft. Searching. Almost caught. You feel the air shift. Not a word is exchanged. Just that one look.
Then the elevator dings. You turn away before you can lose your nerve.
And Clark? He doesn’t look down. Not until the doors slide shut in front of your face.
-
You tell yourself it doesn’t matter. You tell yourself it was probably nothing. A game. A passing flirtation. Maybe Jimmy, playing an elaborate prank he’ll one day claim was performance art.
But still—you dress carefully.
You pull out that one sweater that always makes you feel like the best version of yourself, and you smooth your collar twice before you leave. You wear lip balm that smells faintly like vanilla and leave the office ten minutes early just in case traffic is worse than expected. Just in case he’s early.
You get there first. The bench is colder than you remember. Stone weathered and a little damp from last night’s rain. Your coffee steams in your hands, and for a while, that’s enough to keep you warm.
The sky begins to soften around the edges. First blush pink, then golden orange, then the faintest sweep of violet, like a bruise blooming across the clouds. You watch the city skyline fade into silhouettes. The sun drips lower behind the glass towers, catching the river in a moment of molten reflection. It’s beautiful.
It’s also empty.
You wait. A couple strolls past, fingers laced, talking softly like they’ve been in love for years. A jogger nods as they pass, earbuds in, a scruffy golden retriever trotting faithfully beside them. The dog looks up at you like it knows something—like it sees something.
The wind kicks up. You pull your coat tighter. You tell yourself to give it five more minutes. Then five more.
And then—
Nothing. No footsteps. No note. No him.
Your coffee goes cold between your palms. The stone starts to seep into your bones. And somewhere deep in your chest, something you hadn’t even dared name… wilts.
Eventually, you stand. Walk home with your coat buttoned all the way up, even though it’s not that cold. You don’t cry.
You just go quiet.
-
The next morning, the bullpen hums with the usual Monday static. Phones ringing. Keys clacking. Perry’s voice barking something about a missed quote from the sanitation board. Jimmy’s camera shutter clicking in staccato bursts behind you. The Daily Planet in full swing—ordinary chaos wrapped in coffee breath and fluorescent lighting.
You move through it on autopilot. Your smile is small, tight around the edges. You’ve become a master of folding disappointment into your posture—chin lifted, eyes clear, mouth curved just enough to seem fine.
“Guess the secret admirer thing was just a prank after all.” You drop your bag beside your desk, shuffle through the morning copy logs, and say it lightly. Offhand. Like a joke. “Should’ve known better.” You make sure your voice carries just far enough. Not loud, but not a whisper. Casual. A throwaway comment designed to sound unaffected. And then you laugh. It’s short. Hollow. It dies in your throat before it even fully escapes.
Lois glances up from her monitor, eyes narrowing faintly behind dark lashes. She doesn’t laugh with you. She doesn’t smile. She just watches you for a beat too long. Not with judgment. Not even pity. Just… knowing. But she says nothing. And neither do you.
What you don’t see is the hallway—just twenty feet away—where Clark Kent stands frozen in place. He’d just walked in—late, coat slung over one arm, takeout coffee in the other. He had stopped just inside the threshold to adjust his glasses. He’d meant to offer you a second coffee, the one he bought on impulse after circling the block too many times.
And then he heard it. Your voice. “Guess the secret admirer thing was just a prank after all.” And then your laugh. That awful, paper-thin laugh.
He goes still. Like someone pulled the oxygen from the room. His hand tightens around the coffee cup until the lid creaks. The other arm drops slack at his side, coat nearly slipping from his grasp. His jaw tenses. Shoulders stiffen beneath his white button-down, and for one awful second, he forgets how to breathe.
Because you sound like someone trying not to care. And it cuts deeper than he expects. Because he’d meant to come. Because he tried. Because he was so close.
But none of that matters now. All you know is that he didn’t show up. And now you think the whole thing was a joke. A stupid, secret game. His game. And he can’t even explain—not without tearing everything open.
He stares down the corridor, eyes fixed on the edge of your desk, on the shape of your shoulders turned slightly away. He watches as you pick up your coffee and blow gently across the lid like it might chase the bitterness from your chest.
You don’t turn around. You don’t see the way he stands there—gutted, unmoving, undone. The cup trembles in his hand. He turns away before it spills.
-
That night, you go back to the office. You tell yourself it’s for the deadline. A follow-up piece on the housing committee. Edits on the west-side zoning profile. Anything to fill the time between sunset and sleep—because if you sleep, you’ll just dream of that bench.
The newsroom is quiet now. All overhead lights dimmed except for the halo of your desk lamp and the soft thrum of a copy machine left cycling in the corner.
You drop your bag with a sigh. Stretch your shoulders. Slide your desk drawer open without thinking. And find it. A note. No envelope. No tape. No ceremony. Just a single sheet of cream stationery folded in thirds. Familiar handwriting. Neat loops. Unshaking.
You unfold it slowly.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to be there. I can’t explain why I couldn’t— But it wasn’t a joke. It was never a joke. Please believe that.”
The words hit like a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Then they blur. You read it again. Then again. But the ache in your chest doesn’t settle. Because how do you believe someone who won’t show their face? How do you believe someone who keeps slipping between your fingers?
You hold the note to your chest. Close your eyes. You want to believe him. God, you want to. But you don’t know how anymore.
-
What you couldn’t know is this: Clark Kent was already running. He’d been on his way—coat flapping behind him, tie unspooling in the wind, breath fogging as he dashed through traffic, one hand wrapped tight around a note he planned to deliver in person for the first time. He’d rehearsed it. Practiced what he’d say. Built up to it with every beat of a terrified heart.
He saw the park lights up ahead. Saw the lion statue. Saw the shape of a figure sitting alone on that bench.
And then the air split open. The sky went green. A fifth-dimensional imp—not even from this universe—tore through Metropolis like a child flipping pages in a pop-up book. Reality folded. Buildings bent sideways. Streetlamps started singing jazz standards.
Clark barely had time to take a deep breath before he vanished into smoke and flame, spinning upward in a blur of red and blue. Somewhere across town, Superman joined Guy Gardner, Hawk Girl, Mr. Terrific, and Metamorpho in trying to contain the chaos before the city unmade itself entirely.
He never got the chance to reach the bench. He never got the chance to say anything. The note stayed in his pocket until it was soaked with rain and streaked with ash. Until it was too late.
-
It’s supposed to be routine. You’re only there to cover a zoning dispute. A boring, mid-week council press event that’s been rescheduled three times already. The air is heavy with heat and bureaucracy. You and your photographer barely make it past the front barricades before the scene spirals into chaos.
First it’s the downed power lines—sparking in rapid bursts as something hits the utility pole two blocks down. Then a car screeches over the median. Then someone starts screaming.
You’re still trying to piece it together when the crowd surges—someone shouts about a gun. People scatter. A window shatters across the street. A chunk of concrete falls from the sky like a thrown brick.
Your feet move before your brain catches up. You hit the pavement just as something explodes behind you. A jolt rings through your bones, sharp and high and metallic. Dust clouds the air. There’s shouting, then screaming, and your ears go fuzzy for one split second.
And then he lands.
Superman.
Cape whipping behind him like it’s caught in its own storm, boots cracking against the sidewalk as he drops down between the wreckage and the people still trying to flee. He moves like nothing you’ve ever seen.
Not just fast—but impossible. His body a blur of motion, heat, and purpose. He rips a crumpled lamppost off a trapped woman like it weighs nothing. Hurls it aside and crouches low beside her, voice firm but gentle as he checks her pulse, her leg, her name.
You’re frozen where you crouch, half behind a parking meter, hand pressed to your chest like it can keep your heart from tearing loose.
And then be turns. Looks straight at you. His expression shifts. Just for a moment. Just for you. He steps forward, dust streaking his suit, eyes dark with something you don’t have time to name. He reaches you in three strides, body angled between you and the chaos, hand raised in warning before you can speak.
“Stay here, sweetheart. Please.”
Your stomach drops. Not at the danger. Not at the sound of buildings groaning in the distance or the flash of gunmetal tucked into a stranger’s hand.
It’s him. That word. That voice. The exact way of saying it—like it’s muscle memory. Like he’s said it a thousand times before.
Like Clark says it.
It stuns you more than the explosion did.
You blink up at him, speechless, heart stuttering behind your ribs as he holds your gaze just a second longer than he should. His brow furrows. Then he’s gone—into the fray, into the fire, into the part of the story where your pen can’t follow.
You don’t remember standing. You don’t remember how you get back to the press line, only that your legs shake and your palms burn and every time you try to replay what just happened, your brain gets stuck on one word.
Sweetheart.
You’ve heard it before—dozens of times. Always soft. Always accidental. Always from behind thick glasses and a crooked tie and a mouth still chewing the edge of a muffin while he scrolls through zoning reports.
Clark says it when he forgets you’re not his to claim. Clark says it when you’re both the last ones in the office and he thinks you’re asleep at your desk. Clark says it like a secret. Like a slip.
And Superman just said it exactly the same way. Same tone. Same warmth. Same quiet ache beneath it.
But that’s not possible. Because Superman is—Superman. Bold. Dazzling. Fire-forged. He walks like he owns the sky. He speaks like a storm made flesh. He radiates power and perfection.
And Clark? Clark is all flannel and stammering jokes and soft eyes behind big frames. He’s gentle. A little clumsy. His swagger is borrowed from farm porches and storybooks. He’s sweet in a way Superman couldn’t possibly be.
Couldn’t… Right? You chalk it up to coincidence. You have to.
…Sort of.
-
You don’t sleep well the night after the incident. You keep replaying it—frame by impossible frame. The gunshot, the smoke, the sky splitting in half. The crack of his landing, the rush of wind off his cape. The weight of his body between you and danger. And then that voice.
“Stay here, sweetheart. Please.”
You flinch every time it echoes in your head. Every time your brain folds it over the countless memories you have of Clark saying it in passing, like it was nothing. Like it meant nothing.
But it means something now.
You come into the office the next day wired and quiet, adrenaline still burning faintly at the edges of your skin. You aren’t sure what to say, or to whom, so you say nothing. You stare too long at your coffee. You snap at a printer jam. You forget your lunch in the breakroom fridge.
Clark notices. He hovers by your desk that morning, a second coffee in hand—one of those specialty orders from that corner place he knows you like but always pretends he doesn’t remember.
“Rough day?” he asks gently. His tone is careful. Soft. As if you’re a glass already rattling on the edge of the shelf.
You don’t look up. “It’s fine.”
He hesitates. Then sets the coffee down beside your elbow, just far enough that you have to choose whether or not to reach for it. “I heard about the power line thing,” he adds. “You okay?”
“I said I’m fine, Clark.”
A beat.
You hate the way his face flickers at that—hurt, barely masked. He pushes his glasses up and nods like he deserves it. Like he’s been expecting it. He doesn’t press. He just walks away.
-
You find yourself whispering to Lois over takeout later that afternoon—half a conversation muttered between bites of noodles and the hum of flickering overheads.
“He called me sweetheart.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Clark?”
“No. Superman.”
Her chewing slows.
You keep your eyes on the edge of your desk. “That’s… weird, right?”
Lois makes a sound—somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. “He’s a superhero. They charm every pretty girl they pull out of a burning building.”
You poke at your noodles. “Still. It felt…”
“Weird?” she teases again, nudging her knee against yours.
You shrug like it doesn’t matter. Like it hasn’t been clawing at the back of your brain for three days straight. Lois doesn’t press. Just watches you for a second longer than necessary. Then she moves on, launching into a tirade about Perry’s passive-aggressive post-it notes and the fact that someone keeps stealing her pens.
But the damage is already done. Because you start thinking maybe you’ve just been projecting. Maybe you want your secret admirer to be Clark so badly that your brain’s rewriting reality—latching onto any voice, any phrase, any fleeting resemblance and assigning it meaning.
Sweetheart.
It’s a common word. It doesn’t mean anything. Maybe Superman says it to everyone. Maybe he has a whole roster of soft pet names for dazed civilians. Maybe you’re the delusional one—sitting here wondering if your awkward, sweet, left-footed coworker moonlights as a god.
The idea is so absurd it actually makes you laugh. Quietly. Bitterly. Right into your carton of lo mein. You tell yourself to let it go. But you don’t.
You can’t. Because somewhere deep down, it doesn’t feel absurd at all. It feels… close. Like you’re brushing against the edge of something true. And if you get just a little closer—
You might fall right through it.
-
Clark pulls back after that. Subtly. Slowly. Like he’s dimming himself on purpose. He’s still there—still kind, still thoughtful, still Clark. But the rhythm changes.
The coffees stop appearing on your desk each morning. No more sticky notes with half-legible puns or awkward smiley faces. No more jokes under his breath during staff meetings. No more warm glances across the bullpen when you’re stuck late and your screen is giving you a headache.
His chair now sits just a little farther from yours in the layout room. Not enough to be obvious. Just enough to feel. You notice it the way you notice when the air shifts before a storm. Quiet. Inevitable.
Even his messages change. Once, his texts used to come with too many exclamation marks and a tendency to type out haha when he was nervous. Now they’re brief. Punctuated. Polite.
“Got your quote. Sending now.” “Perry said we’re cleared for page A3.” “Hope your meeting went okay.”
You reread them more than you should. Not because of what they say—but because of what they don’t. It feels like being ghosted by someone who still waves to you across the room.
You try to talk yourself down. Maybe he’s just busy. Maybe he’s stressed. Maybe you’ve been projecting. Maybe it’s not your admirer’s handwriting that matches his. Maybe it’s not his voice that slipped out of Superman’s mouth like a secret.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
But the space he used to fill next to you… feels like a light that’s been quietly turned off. And you are the one still blinking against the dark.
And yet, one afternoon, someone in the bullpen makes a snide remark about your latest piece. You don’t even catch the beginning—just the tail end of it, lazy and smug.
“—basically just fluff, right? She’s been coasting lately.”
You’re about to ignore it. You’re tired. Too tired. And what’s the point in arguing with someone who thinks nuance is a liability?
But then—Clark speaks. Not from beside you, but from across the room. You’re not even sure how he could have possibly heard the guy talking across all the hustle and bustle of the bullpen. But his voice cuts through the noise like someone snapping a ruler against a desk.
“I just think her work actually matters, okay?”
Silence follows. Not because of the volume—he wasn’t loud. Just certain. Unflinching. Like he’d been holding it in. The words hang in the air, charged and too real.
Clark looks immediately horrified with himself. He goes red. Not a faint flush—crimson. Mouth parting like he wants to take it back but doesn’t know how. He tries to recover, to smooth it over—but nothing comes. Just a flustered shake of his head and a noise that might’ve been his name.
The other reporter stares. “…Okay, man. Chill.”
Clark mumbles something about grabbing a file from archives and practically stumbles for the hallway, papers clenched awkwardly in one hand like a shield.
You don’t follow. You just… sit there. Staring at the space he left behind. Because that moment—those words—it wasn’t just instinct. It wasn’t just kindness. It was him.
The way he said it. The emotion in it. The rhythm of it. It felt like the notes. Like the quiet encouragements tucked into the margins of your day. Like someone watching, quietly, gently, hoping you’ll see yourself the way they do.
You think about the phrases he’s used before.
“The line you cut in paragraph six was my favorite. About hope not being the same thing as naivety.” “Even whispers echo when they’re true.”
And now:
“Her work actually matters.”
All said like they were true, not convenient. All said like they were about you.
You start to notice more after that. The way Clark compliments your writing—always specific. Never lazy. The way his eyes crinkle when he’s proud of something you said, even when he doesn’t speak up. The way he turns the thermostat up exactly two degrees every time you bring your sweater into work. The way he walks a half-step behind you when you both leave late at night.
It’s not a confession. Not yet. But it’s a pattern. And once you start seeing it—
You can’t stop.
-
It’s a quiet afternoon in the bullpen. The kind where the overhead lights hum just loud enough to notice and everything smells like stale coffee and highlighter ink.
Clark’s sprawled in front of his monitor, sleeves rolled to his elbows, brow furrowed with the kind of intensity he usually saves for city zoning laws and double-checked citations. You’re helping him sort through quotes—most of which came from a reluctant press secretary and one very talkative dog walker who may or may not be a credible witness.
“Can you check the time stamp on the third transcript?” he asks, not looking up from his notes. “I think I messed it up when I formatted.”
You nod, flipping through the stack of papers he passed you earlier. That’s when you see it. Folded beneath the top printout, half-tucked into the margin of a city planning spreadsheet, is a different kind of note. A loose sheet, scribbled across in black ink. Not typed—written. Slanted lines. A few false starts crossed out.
At first, you think it’s a headline draft. A brainstorm. But the longer you stare, the more it reads like… something else.
“The city is loud today. Not just noise, but motion. Memory. The way people hum when they think no one’s listening.” “I can’t stop watching her move through it like she belongs to it. Like it belongs to her.”
You freeze. Your eyes track down the page slowly, like touching something sacred.
The letters are familiar. The lowercase y curls the same way as the one on your very first note—the one that came with your coffee. The ink is the same soft black, slightly smudged in the corners, like whoever wrote it holds the pen too tight when they’re thinking. The paper is the same notepad stock he’s used before. The same faint red line down the margin.
You don’t mean to do it, but your fingers curl around the page. Your chest goes tight. Because it’s not just similar.
It’s exact.
You hear him coming before you see him—those long, careful strides and the faint jangle of the lanyard he keeps forgetting to take off.
You tuck the paper into your notebook. Quick. Smooth. Automatic.
“Hey, sorry,” he says, rounding the corner with two mugs of tea and a slightly sheepish smile. “Printer’s jammed again. I may have made it worse.”
You nod. Too fast. You can’t quite make your voice work yet. Clark hands you your tea—just the way you like it, no comment—and sits across from you like nothing’s wrong. Like your whole world hasn’t tilted six degrees to the left.
He launches into a ramble about column widths and quote placement, about whether a serif font looks more “established” than sans serif.
You don’t hear a word of it. You just… watch him. The way he gestures too big with his hands. The way his glasses slip down his nose mid-sentence and he doesn’t bother to fix them until they’re practically falling off. The way his voice drops a little when he’s thinking hard—low and warm and utterly unselfconscious.
He has no idea you know. No idea what you just found.
You murmur something about needing to catch a meeting and excuse yourself early. He nods. Worries at his bottom lip like he’s debating whether to walk you out. Decides against it.
“Thanks for the help,” he says quietly, as you shoulder your bag. “Seriously. I couldn’t’ve done this draft without you.”
You give him a look you don’t quite know how to name. Something between thank you and I see you.
Then you go.
-
That night, you sit on your bedroom floor with the drawer open. Every note. Every folded scrap. Every secret tucked under your stapler or slid into your sleeve or left beside your coffee cup. You line them up in rows. You flatten them with careful hands. And you compare. One by one.
The loops. The lines. The uneven spacing. The curl of the r. The hush in every sentence, like he was writing them with his heart too close to the surface.
There’s no room for doubt anymore. It’s him. It’s been him this whole time.
Clark Kent.
And somehow—somehow—he’s still never said your name aloud when he writes about you. Not once. But every letter reads like a whisper of it. Like a promise waiting to be spoken.
-
The office is quiet by the time you find the nerve.
Desks are abandoned, chairs turned at angles, the windows dark with city glow. Outside, Metropolis hums in its usual low thrum—sirens and neon and distant jazz from a rooftop bar—but here, in the bullpen, it’s just the steady tick of the wall clock and the slow, careful steps you take toward his desk.
Clark doesn’t hear you at first. He’s bent over a red pen and a half-finished draft, glasses low on his nose, the curve of his back hunched the way it always is when he’s lost in edits. His tie is loosened. His sleeves are pushed up. There’s a smear of ink on his thumb. He looks soft in the way people do when they think no one’s watching.
You speak before you lose your nerve. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
Clark startles. Not dramatically—just a sharp breath and a too-quick motion to sit upright, like a kid caught doodling in the margins. “I—what?”
You don’t let your voice shake. “That it was you. The notes. The park. All of it.”
He stares at you. Then down at his desk. Then back again. His mouth opens like it wants to offer a lie, but nothing comes out. Just silence. His fingers twitch toward the edge of the desk and stop there, curling into his palm.
“I—” he tries again, softer now, “—I didn’t think you knew.”
“I didn’t.” Your voice is gentle. But not easy. “Not at first. Not really. But then I saw that list on your desk and… I went home and checked the handwriting.”
He winces. “I knew I left that out somewhere.”
You cross your arms, not out of anger—more like self-protection. “You could’ve told me. At any point. I asked you.”
“I know.” He swallows hard. “I know. I wanted to. I… tried.”
You watch him. Wait.
And then he says it. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just the truth, raw and shaky and so Clark it nearly breaks you. “Because if I told you it was me… you might look at me different. Or worse… The same.”
You don’t know what to say to that. Not right away. Your heart clenches. Because it’s so him—to assume your affection could only live in the mystery. That the truth of him—soft, clumsy, brilliant, real—would somehow undo the magic.
“Clark…” you start, but your voice slips.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m just the guy who spills coffee on his own notes and forgets to refill the paper tray. You’re… you. You write like you’re on fire. You walk into a room and it listens. I didn’t think someone like you would ever want someone like me.”
You stare at him. Really stare. At the flushed cheeks. The nervous hands. The boyish smile he’s trying to bury under self-deprecation. And then you say it. “I saved every note.”
He blinks.
You keep going. “I read them when I felt invisible. When I thought no one gave a damn what I was doing here. They mattered.”
Clark’s breath catches. He opens his mouth. Closes it again. He takes a slow step forward, tentative. Like he’s afraid to break the spell. His eyes search yours, and for a moment—for a second so still it might as well last an hour—he leans in. Not close enough to kiss you. But almost. His hand brushes yours. He stops. The air is heavy between you, buzzing with something fragile and enormous. But it isn’t enough. Not yet.
You draw in a breath, quiet but steady. “Why didn’t you meet me?”
Clark goes still. You can see it happen—the way the question lands. The way he folds in on himself just slightly, like the truth is too heavy to hold upright.
“I…” He tries, but the word doesn’t land. His jaw flexes. His eyes drop to the floor, then back up. He wants to tell you. He almost does. But he can’t. Not without unraveling everything. Not without unraveling himself.
“I wanted to,” he says finally, voice rough at the edges. “More than anything.”
“But?” you press, gently.
He just looks at you and says nothing. You nod, slowly. The silence says enough. Your chest aches—not in a sharp, bitter way. In the dull, familiar way of something you already suspected being confirmed.
You glance down at where your hand still brushes his, then look back at him—really look. “I wish you’d told me,” you whisper. “I sat there thinking it was a joke. That I made it all up. That I was stupid for believing in any of it.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “And I’m sorry.”
Your throat tightens. You swallow past it. “I just… I need time. To process. To think.”
Clark’s eyes flicker—hope and heartbreak, all tangled up in one look. “Of course,” he says immediately. “Take whatever you need. I mean it.”
A beat passes before you say the part that makes his breath catch. “I’m happy it was you.”
He freezes.
You offer the smallest smile. “I wanted it to be you.”
And for the first time in minutes, something in his shoulders unknots. There’s a shift. Gentle. Quiet. His hand lingers near yours again, knuckles brushing. He doesn’t lean in. Doesn’t push.
But God, he wants to. And maybe… maybe you do too. The moment stretches, unspoken and warm and not quite ready to be anything more.
You both stay like that—close, not touching. Breathing the same charged air. Then he laughs under his breath. Nervous. Boyish.
“I’m probably gonna trip over something the second you walk away.”
You smile back. “Just recalibrate your ankles.”
He huffs out a laugh, head ducking. “I deserved that.”
You start to turn away. Just a little. But his voice stops you again—quiet, sincere, something earnest catching in it. “I’m really glad it was me, too.”
And your heart flutters all over again.
-
Lois is perched on the edge of your desk, a paper takeout box balanced on her knee, chopsticks waving in lazy circles while you pick at your own dinner with a little too much focus.
You haven’t told her everything. Not the everything everything. Not the way your heart nearly cracked open when Clark looked at you like you were made of starlight and library books. Not how close he got before pulling back. Not how you pulled back too, even though your whole body ached to close the distance.
But you have told her about the notes. About the mystery. About the strange tenderness of it all, how it wrapped around your days like a string you didn’t know you were following until it tugged. And Lois—Lois has been unusually quiet about it. Until now.
“I’m setting you up,” she says between bites, like she’s discussing filing taxes.
You blink. “What?”
“A date. Just one. Guy from the Features desk at the Tribune. You’ll like him. He’s taller than you, decent jawline, wears socks that match. He’s got strong opinions about punctuation, which I figure is basically foreplay for you.”
You stare at her. “You don’t even believe in setups.”
“I don’t,” she agrees. “But you’ve been spiraling in circles for weeks, and at this point, I either push you toward a date or stage an intervention with PowerPoint slides.”
You laugh despite yourself. “You have PowerPoint slides?”
“Of course not,” she scoffs. “I have a Google Doc.”
You roll your eyes. “Lois—”
“Listen,” she says, gentler now. “I know you’re in deep with whoever this guy is. And if it is Clark… well. I can see why.”
Your stomach flips.
“But maybe stepping outside of the Planet for two hours wouldn’t kill you. Let someone else flirt with you for once. Let yourself figure out what you actually want.”
You press your lips together. Look down at your barely-touched food.
“You don’t have to fall for him,” she adds, softly. “Just let yourself be seen.”
You exhale through your nose. “He better be cute.”
“Oh, he is. Total sweater vest energy.”
You snort. “So your type.”
“Exactly.” She lifts her takeout carton in a mock toast. “To emotionally compromised coworkers and their tragic love lives.”
You clink your chopsticks against hers like it’s the saddest champagne flute in the world. And later, when you’re getting ready, you still feel the weight of Clark’s almost-kiss behind your ribs. But you go anyway. Because Lois is right. You need to know what it is you’re choosing. Even if, deep down, you already do.
-
The date isn’t bad. That’s the most frustrating part. He’s nice. Polished in that media school kind of way—crisp shirt, clean shave, a practiced smile that belongs on a campaign poster. He compliments your bylines and talks about his dream of running an independent magazine one day. He orders the good whiskey and laughs at your jokes.
But it’s the wrong laugh. Off by a beat. The rhythm’s not right.
When he leans in, you don’t. When he talks, your thoughts drift—to mismatched socks and printer toner smudges. To how someone else always remembers your coffee order. To how someone else listens, not to respond, but to see.
You realize it halfway through the second drink. You’re thinking about Clark again.
The softness of him. The steadiness. The way he over-apologizes in texts but never hesitates when someone challenges your work. The way his voice tilts a little higher when he’s nervous. The way his laugh never lands in the right place, but somehow makes the whole room feel warmer.
You pull your coat tighter when you leave the restaurant, cheeks stinging from the wind and the slow unraveling of a night that should’ve meant something. It doesn’t. Not in the way that matters.
So you walk. You tell yourself you’re just passing by the Daily Planet. That maybe you left your notes there. That it’s just a habit, stopping in this late. But when you scan your ID badge and push through the heavy glass doors, you already know the truth. You’re hoping he’s still here.
And he is.
The bullpen is almost entirely dark, save for a single desk lamp casting gold across the layout section. He’s hunched over it—tie loosened, sleeves rolled up, shirt rumpled like he’s been pacing, thinking, rewriting. His glasses are folded beside him on the desk. His hair’s a mess—fingers clearly run through it too many times.
He rubs at his eyes with the heel of his palm, breathing out hard through his nose. You don’t say anything. You just… watch. It hits you in one perfect, unshakable moment. The slope of his shoulders. The cut of his jaw. The furrow in his brow when he’s thinking too hard.
He looks like Superman.
No glasses. No slouch. No excuses. But more than that—he looks like Clark. Like the man who learned your coffee order. Like the one who saves all his best edits for last so he can tell you in person how good your writing is. The one who panicked when you got too close to the truth, but couldn’t stop leaving notes anyway.
And when he finally lifts his head and sees you standing there—still in your coat, fingers tight around your notebook—you watch something shift in his expression. A flicker of surprise. Panic. Bare, open emotion. Because you’re seeing him without the glasses.
“Couldn’t sleep,” you murmur. “Thought I’d grab my notes.”
He smiles, slow and unsure. “You… left them by the scanner.”
You nod, like that matters. Like you came here for paper and not for him. Then you walk over, slow and deliberate, and retrieve your notes from the edge of the scanner beside him. He swallows hard, watching you.
Then clears his throat. “So… how was the date?”
You pause. “Fine,” you say. “He was nice. Funny. Smart.”
Clark nods, but you’re not finished.
“But when he laughed, it was the wrong rhythm. And when he spoke, I didn’t lean in.”
You meet his eyes—clear blue, unhidden now. “I made up my mind halfway through the second drink.” His lips part. Barely. You move to the edge of his desk and set your notebook down. Then—carefully, slowly—you pull out the chair beside his and sit. The air between you goes molten.
Clark leans in a little, eyes flicking to your mouth, then back to your eyes. One hand moves down, like he’s going to say something, but instead, he reaches for the leg of your chair—fingers curling around it. And pulls you toward him. The scrape of wood against tile echoes, loud and deliberate. Your thighs knock his. Your breath stutters.
He’s so close now you can feel the heat rolling off him. The weight of his gaze. Your heart hammers in your chest. And lower.
“Clark—” But you don’t finish because he meets you halfway. The kiss is fire and breath and years of want pressed between two mouths. His hands come up—one to your jaw, the other to the back of your head—and tilt your face just so. Fingers tangle in your hair, anchoring you to him like he’s afraid you might vanish.
You moan into his mouth. Soft. Surprised. He groans back. Rougher. You reach for his shirt blindly, fists curling in the cotton as he pulls you fully into his lap—into the chair with him, your legs straddling his thighs. His hands don’t know where to land. Your waist. Your thighs. Your face again.
“You’re it,” he whispers against your mouth. “You’ve always been it.”
You know he means it. Because you’ve seen it. In every note. Every glance. Every moment he looked at you like you were already his. And now, with your bodies tangled, mouths tasting each other, breathing the same heat—you finally believe it.
You don’t say it yet. But the way you kiss him again says it for you. You’re his. You always have been.
His hands roam, but never rush. Your fingers are tangled in his shirt, your knees pressing to either side of his hips, and you feel him—all of him—underneath you, solid and steady and shaking just slightly. The chair creaks with every breath you share. His mouth is still on yours, slow now, like he’s memorizing the shape of you. Like he’s afraid if he goes too fast, you’ll disappear again.
When he finally pulls back—just enough to breathe—it’s with a soft, reverent exhale. His nose brushes yours. “You’re really here,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “God, you’re really here.”
You blink at him, your hands sliding to either side of his jaw, thumbs brushing the high flush of his cheeks. He looks so open. Like you’ve peeled back every layer of him with just a kiss. And maybe you have.
His lips find the edge of your jaw next, slow and aching. A kiss. Then another, just beneath your ear. Then one lower, along the soft skin of your neck. Each press of his mouth feels like a confession. Like something that was buried too long, finally given air.
“You don’t know,” he whispers. “You don’t know what it’s been like, watching you and not getting to—” Another kiss, right beneath your cheekbone. “I used to rehearse things I’d say to you, and then I’d get to work and you’d smile and I’d forget how to talk.”
A laugh huffs out of you, but it melts fast when he leans in again, his breath fanning warm across your skin. “I didn’t think I’d ever get this close. I didn’t think I’d get to touch you like this.”
You shift in his lap, chest brushing his, and his hands squeeze your waist gently like he’s grounding himself. His mouth finds your temple. Your cheek. The corner of your mouth again.
“You’re so—” he breaks off. Tries again. “You’re everything.” Your pulse thrums in your throat. Clark’s hands stay respectful, but they wander—curving up your back, smoothing over your shoulders, settling at your ribs like he wants to hold you together.
“I used to write those notes late at night,” he admits against your collarbone. “Didn’t even think you’d read them at first. But you did. You kept them.”
“I kept every one,” you whisper.
His breath catches. You tilt his face back up to yours, studying him in the low, golden light. His hair’s a little messy now from your fingers. His lips pink and kiss-swollen. His chest rising and falling like he’s just run a marathon. And still, even now—he’s looking at you like he’s the one who’s lucky.
Clark kisses you again—soft, like a promise. Then a trail of them, across your cheek, your jaw, your throat. Slow enough to make your skin shiver and your hips shift instinctively against his lap. He groans quietly at that—barely audible—but doesn’t press for more. He just holds you tighter.
“I’d wait forever for you,” he murmurs into your skin. “I don’t need anything else. Just this. Just you.” You bury your face in his shoulder, overwhelmed, heart pounding like a war drum. You don’t say anything back. You just press another kiss to his throat, and feel him smile where your mouth lands.
-
The city is quieter at night—its edges softened under streetlamp glow, concrete warming beneath the fading breath of the day. There’s a breeze that tugs gently at your coat as you and Clark walk side by side, your fingers still loosely laced with his. His hand is big. Warm. Rough in the places that tell stories. Gentle in the ways that say everything else.
Neither of you speaks at first. The silence isn’t awkward. It’s thick with something tender. Like a string strung tight between your ribs and his, humming with each shared step.
When he glances down at you, his smile is small and almost shy. “I can’t believe I didn’t knock over the chair,” he says after a few blocks, voice pitched low with laughter.
You grin. “You were close. I think my thigh is bruised.”
He groans. “Don’t say that—I’ll lose sleep.”
You look at him sidelong. “You weren’t going to sleep anyway.” That earns you a pink flush down the side of his neck, and you tuck that image away for safekeeping.
Your building looms closer, brick and ivy-wrapped and familiar in the soft hush of the hour. You slow as you reach the front step, turning to face him.
“Thank you,” you murmur. You don’t mean just for the walk.
He holds your hand a beat longer. Then, without a word, he lifts it—presses his lips to your knuckles. It’s soft. Reverent.
Your breath catches in your throat. And maybe that’s what breaks the spell—maybe that’s what makes it all too much and not enough at once—because the next second, you’re reaching. Or maybe he is. It doesn’t matter. He kisses you again—this time fuller, deeper—your back brushing against the door behind you, his other hand cradling your cheek like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he doesn’t hold you just right.
It doesn’t last long. Just long enough to taste the weight of what’s shifting between you. To feel it crest again in your chest.
When he finally pulls back, his lips hover a breath away from yours. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says softly.
You nod. You can’t quite say anything back yet. He gives your hand one last squeeze, then turns and disappears down the street, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders curved slightly inward like he’s holding in a smile he doesn’t know what to do with.
You unlock the door. Step inside. But you don’t go to bed right away. You walk to the front window instead—bare feet quiet on hardwood, heart still hammering. Through the glass, you spot him half a block away. He thinks you’re gone. Which is probably why, under the streetlight, Clark Kent jumps up and smacks the edge of a low-hanging banner like he’s testing his vertical. He catches it on the second try, swinging from it for all of two seconds before nearly tripping over his own feet.
You snort. Your hand presses against your mouth to muffle the sound. And then you smile. That kind of soft, aching smile that tugs at something deep in your chest. Because that’s him. That’s the man who writes you poems under the cover of anonymity and nearly breaks your chair kissing you in a newsroom.
That’s the one you wanted it to be. And now that it is—you don’t think your heart’s ever going to stop fluttering.
-
The bullpen is alive again. Phones ring. Keys clatter. Someone’s arguing over copy edits near the back printer, and Jimmy streaks past with a half-eaten bagel clamped between his teeth and a stack of photos fluttering behind him like confetti. It’s chaos.
But none of it touches you. The world moves at its usual speed, but everything inside you has slowed. Like someone turned the volume down on everything that isn’t him.
Your eyes find Clark without meaning to. He’s already at his desk—glasses on, shirt pressed, tie straighter than usual. He must’ve fixed it three times this morning. His sleeves are rolled to the elbow, a pen already tucked behind one ear. He’s doing that thing he does when he’s thinking—lip caught gently between his teeth, brows drawn, tapping the space bar like it owes him money.
But there’s a softness to him this morning, too. A looseness in his shoulders. A quiet sort of glow around the edges, like some part of him hasn’t fully come down from last night either. Like he’s still vibrating with the same electricity that’s still thrumming low behind your ribs.
And then he looks up. He finds you just as easily as you found him. You expect him to look away—bashful, flustered, maybe even embarrassed now that the newsroom lights are on and you’re both pretending not to be lit matches pretending not to burn.
But he doesn’t. He holds your gaze. And the quiet that opens up between you is louder than anything else in the building. The low hum of printers. The whirr of the HVAC. The hiss of steam from the office espresso machine.
You swallow hard. Then you look back at your screen like it matters. You try to focus. You really do.
Less than ten minutes later, he’s there. He approaches slow, like he’s afraid of breaking something delicate. His hand appears first, gently setting a familiar to-go cup on your desk.
“I figured you forgot yours,” he says, voice low.
You glance up at him. “I didn’t.”
A smile curls at the corner of his mouth. Soft. A little sheepish. “Oh. Well…” He shrugs. “Now you have two.”
You take the coffee anyway. Your fingers brush his as you do. He doesn’t pull away. Not this time. His hand lingers for half a second longer than it should—just enough to make your pulse jump in your wrist—and then slowly drops back to his side. The silence between you now isn’t awkward. It’s taut. Weightless. Like standing at the edge of something enormous, staring over the drop, and realizing he’s right there beside you—ready to jump too.
“Walk with me?” he asks, voice barely above the clatter around you. You nod. Because you’d follow him anywhere.
Downstairs, the building atrium hums with the low murmur of morning traffic and the soft shuffle of people cutting through the lobby on their way to bigger, faster things. But here—beneath the high, glass-paneled ceiling where sunlight pours in like gold through water—the city feels a little farther away. A little quieter. Just the two of you, caught in that hush between chaos and clarity.
Clark hands you a sugar packet without a word, and you take it, fingers brushing his again. He watches—not your hands, but your face—as you tear it open and shake it into your cup. Like memorizing the way you take your coffee might somehow tell him more than you’re ready to say aloud.
You glance at him, just in time to catch it—that look. Barely there, but soft. Full. He looks at you like he’s trying to learn you by heart.
You raise a brow. “What?”
He blinks, caught. “Nothing.”
But you’re smiling now, just a little. A private, corner-of-your-mouth kind of smile. “You look tired,” you murmur, stirring slowly.
His lips twitch. “Late night.”
“Editing from home?”
He hesitates. You watch the way his shoulders shift, the subtle catch in his breath. Then, finally, he shakes his head. “Not exactly.”
You hum. Say nothing more. The moment lingers, warm as the cup in your hand. He stands beside you, tall and still, but there’s something new in the way he holds himself—like gravity’s just a little lighter around him this morning. Like your presence pulls him into a softer orbit. There’s a beat of silence.
“You… seemed quiet last night,” he says, voice gentler now. “When you saw me.”
You glance at him from over the rim of your cup. Steam curls up between you, catching in the morning light like spun sugar. “I saw you,” you say.
He studies you. Carefully. “You sure?”
You lower your coffee. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
His brows pull together slightly, the line between them deepening. He’s trying to read you. Trying to solve an equation he’s too close to see clearly. There’s a question in his eyes—not just about last night, but about everything that came before it. The letters. The glances. The ache.
But you don’t give him the answer. Not out loud. Because what you don’t say hangs heavier than what you do. You don’t say: I’m pretty certain he’s you. You don’t say: I think my heart has known for a while now. You don’t say: I’m not afraid of what you’re hiding. Instead, you let the silence stretch between you—soft and silken, tethering you to something deeper than confession. You sip your coffee, heart steady now, eyes warm.
And when he opens his mouth again—when he leans forward like he might finally give himself away entirely—you smile. Just a soft curve of your lips. A quiet reassurance. “Don’t worry,” you say, voice low. “I liked what I saw.”
He freezes. Then flushes, color blooming high on his cheeks. His gaze drops to the floor like it’s safer there, like looking at you too long might unravel him completely—but when he glances back up, the smile on his face is small and helpless and utterly undone. A breath escapes him, barely audible—but you hear it. You feel it. Relief.
He walks you back upstairs without another word. The movement is easy. Comfortable. But his hand hovers near yours the whole time. Not quite touching. Just… there. Like gravity pulling two halves of the same secret closer.
And as you re-enter the hum of the bullpen, nothing looks different. But everything feels like it’s just about to change.
-
That night, after the city has quieted—after the neon pulse of Metropolis blurs into puddle reflections and distant sirens—the Daily Planet is almost reverent in its silence. No ringing phones. No newsroom chatter. Just the soft hum of a printer in standby mode and the creak of the elevator cables descending behind you.
You let yourself in with your keycard. The lock clicks louder than expected in the stillness. You don’t know why you’re here, really. You told yourself it was to grab the folder you forgot. To double-check something on your last draft. But the truth is quieter than that.
You were hoping he’d be here. He’s not. His desk lamp is off. His chair turned inward, as if he left in a hurry. No half-eaten sandwich or scribbled drafts left behind—just a tidied workspace and absence thick enough to feel.
You sigh, the sound swallowed whole by the vast emptiness of the bullpen. Then you see it. At your desk. Tucked half-under your keyboard like a secret trying not to be. One folded piece of paper.
No envelope this time. No clever line on the front. Just your name, handwritten in a looping scrawl you’ve come to know better than your own signature. A rhythm you’ve studied and traced in the quiet of your apartment, night after night.
You slide it free with careful fingers. Your heart stutters as you unfold it. The ink is darker this time—less tentative. The strokes more deliberate, like he knew, at last, he didn’t have to hide.
“For once I don’t have to imagine what it’s like to have your lips on mine. But I still think about it anyway.” —C.K.
You stare at the words until the paper goes soft in your hands. Until your chest feels too full and too fragile all at once. Until the noise of your own heartbeat drowns out everything else.
Then you press the note to your chest and close your eyes. His initials burn through the paper like a touch. Not a secret admirer anymore. Not a mystery in the margins. Just him.
Clark. Your friend. Your almost. Your maybe.
You don’t need the rest of the truth. Not tonight. Not if it costs this fragile thing blooming between you—this quiet, aching sweetness. This slow, deliberate unraveling of walls and fears and the long-held breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
Whatever you’re building together, it’s happening one heartbeat at a time. One almost-confession. One note left behind in the dark. And you’d rather have this—this steady climb into something real—than rush toward the edge of revelation and risk it all crumbling.
So you tuck the note gently into your bag, where the others wait. Every word he’s given you, kept safe like a promise. You don’t know what happens next. But for the first time in weeks, maybe months, you’re not afraid of finding out.
-
You’re not official.
Not in the way people expect it. There’s no label, no group announcement, no big display. But you’re definitely something now—something solid and golden and real in the space between words.
It’s not office gossip. Not yet. But it could be. Because you linger a little too long near his desk. Because he lights up when you enter a room like it’s instinct. Because when he passes you in the bullpen, his hand brushes yours—just barely—and you both pause like the air just changed. There’s no denying it.
And then comes the hallway kiss. It’s after hours. The building is quiet, the newsroom lights dimmed to half. You’re both walking toward the elevators, your footsteps echoing against the tile.
Clark fumbles for the call button, mumbling something about how slow the system is when it’s late, and how the elevator always seems to stall on the wrong floor. You don’t answer. You just reach for his tie. A gentle tug. A silent question. He exhales, soft and shaky. Then he leans in.
The kiss is slow. Unhurried. Like you’re both tasting something that’s been simmering between you for years. His hands find your waist, yours curl into his shirt, and the elevator dings somewhere in the distance, but neither of you move.
You part only when the second ding reminds you where you are. His forehead presses to yours, warm and close. You breathe the same air. And then the doors close behind you, and he walks you out with his hand ghosting the small of your back.
-
You start learning the rhythm of Clark Kent. He talks more when he’s nervous—little rambles about traffic patterns or article formatting, or how he’s still not entirely sure he installed his dishwasher correctly. Sometimes he trails off mid-thought, like he’s remembering something urgent but can’t explain it.
He always carries your groceries. All of them. No negotiation. He’ll take the heavier bags first, sling them both over one shoulder and pretend like it’s nothing. And somehow, he always forgets his own umbrella—but never forgets yours. You don’t know how many he owns, but one always appears when the clouds roll in. Like magic. Like preparation. Like he’s thought of you in every version of the day.
You don’t ask.
You just start to keep one in your own bag for him.
-
The third kiss happens on your couch.
You’ve been watching some old movie neither of you are paying attention to, his arm slung lazily across your shoulders. Your legs are tangled. His fingers are tracing idle shapes against your thigh through the fabric of your leggings.
He kisses you once—soft and slow—and then again. Longer. Like he’s memorizing the shape of your mouth. Like he might need it later.
Then his phone buzzes.
He stiffens.
You feel the change instantly—the way his body pulls back, the air between you tightens. He glances at the screen. You don’t catch the name. But you see the look in his eyes.
Regret. Apology. Something deeper.
“I—I’m so sorry,” he says, already moving. “I have to—something came up. It’s—”
You sit up, brushing your hand against his arm. “Go,” you say softly.
“But—”
“It’s okay. Just… be safe.”
And God, the way he looks at you. Like you’ve given him something priceless. Something he didn’t know he was allowed to want.
He kisses your temple like a promise and disappears into the night.
-
It happens again. And again.
Missed dinners. Sudden goodbyes. Rainy nights where he shows up soaked, out of breath, murmuring apologies and curling into you like he doesn’t know how to be held.
You never ask. You don’t need to.
Because he always comes back.
-
One night, you’re curled into each other on your couch, your legs thrown over his, your cheek resting against his chest. The movie’s playing, forgotten. Your fingers are idly brushing the hem of his shirt where it’s ridden up. He smells like rain and ink and whatever soap he always uses that lingers on your pillow now.
Then his voice, quiet in the dark, “I don’t always know how to be… enough.”
You blink. Look up. He’s staring at the ceiling. Not quite breathing evenly. Like the words cost him something.
You reach up and cradle his face in your hands.
His eyes finally meet yours.
“You are,” you whisper. “As you are.”
You don’t say: Even if you are who I think you are.
You don’t need to. You just kiss him again. Soft. Long. Steady. Because whatever he’s carrying, you’ve already started holding part of it too.
And he lets you.
-
The night starts quiet.
Takeout boxes sit half-forgotten on the coffee table—one still open, rice going cold, soy sauce packet untouched. Your legs are draped across Clark’s lap, one foot nudged against the curve of his thigh, and his hand rests there now. Not possessively. Not deliberately.
Just… there.
It’s late. The kind of late where the whole city softens. No sirens outside. No blinking inbox. Just the low hum of the lamp on the side table and the warmth of the man beside you.
Clark’s eyes are on you. They’ve been there most of the night.
He hasn’t said much since dinner—just little smiles, quiet sounds of agreement, the occasional brush of his thumb against your ankle like a thought he forgot to speak aloud. But it’s not a bad silence. It’s dense. Full.
You shift, angling toward him slightly, and his gaze flicks to your mouth. That’s all it takes.
He leans in.
The kiss is soft at first. Familiar. A shared breath. A quiet hello in a room where no one had spoken for minutes. But then his hand curls behind your knee, guiding your leg further over his lap, and his mouth opens against yours like he’s been holding back for hours.
He kisses you like he’s starving. Like he’s spent all day wanting this—aching for the shape of you, the weight of your body in his hands. And when you moan into it, just a little, he shudders.
His hands start to move. One tracing the line of your spine, the other resting against your hip like a question he doesn’t need to ask. You answer anyway—pressing in closer, threading your fingers through his hair, sighing into the heat of his mouth.
You don’t know who climbs into whose lap first, only that you end up straddling him on the couch. Your knees on either side of his thighs. His hands gripping your waist now, fingers curling in your shirt like he doesn’t trust himself not to break it.
And then something shifts.
Not emotional—physical.
Clark stands.
He lifts you with him, effortlessly, like you don’t weigh anything at all. Not a grunt. Not a stagger. Just—up. Smooth and sure. His mouth never leaves yours.
You gasp into the kiss as he walks you backwards, steps confident and fast despite the way your arms tighten around his shoulders. Your spine meets the wall in the next second. Not hard. Just sudden.
Your heart thunders.
“Clark—”
He doesn’t answer. Just breathes against your mouth like he needs the oxygen from your lungs. Like yours is the only air that keeps him grounded.
His hips press into yours, one thigh sliding between your legs, and your back arches instinctively. His hands span your ribs now, thumbs brushing just beneath your bra. You feel the tremble in them—not from fear. From restraint.
“Clark,” you whisper again, and his forehead drops to yours.
“You okay?” he asks, voice rough and close.
You nod, breath catching. “You?”
He hesitates. Not long. But long enough to count. “Yeah. Just… feel a little off tonight.”
You pull back just enough to look at him.
He’s flushed. Eyes darker than usual. But not winded. Not breathless. Not anything like you are. His chest doesn’t even rise fast beneath your hands. Still, he smiles—like he can will the oddness away—and kisses you again. Deeper this time. Like distraction.
Like he doesn’t want to stop.
You don’t want him to either.
Not yet.
His mouth finds yours again—slower this time, more purposeful. Like he’s savoring it. Like he’s waited for this exact moment, this exact pressure of your hips against his, for longer than he’s willing to admit.
You gasp when his hands slide under your shirt, palms broad and steady, dragging upward in a path that sets every nerve on fire. He doesn’t fumble. Doesn’t rush. Just explores—like he’s memorizing, not taking.
“Can I?” he murmurs against your mouth, fingers brushing the underside of your bra.
You nod, breathless. “Yes.”
He exhales, soft and reverent, and lifts your shirt over your head. It’s discarded without ceremony. Then his hands are on you again—warm, slow, mapping out the shape of you with open palms and patient awe.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, more breath than voice. His mouth finds the edge of your jaw, trailing kisses down to the hollow beneath your ear. “I think about this… so much.”
You shudder.
His hands move again—down this time, gripping your thighs as he sinks to his knees in front of you. You barely have time to react before he’s tugging your pants down, slow and careful, mouth following the descent with lingering kisses along your hips, the dip of your pelvis, the inside of your thigh.
He looks up at you from the floor.
You nearly forget how to breathe.
“I’ve wanted to take my time with you,” he admits, voice rough and low. “Wanted to learn you slow. Learn how you taste. How you fall apart.”
And then he does.
He leans in and licks a long, deliberate stripe over the center of your underwear, still watching your face.
You whimper.
He smiles, just slightly, and does it again.
By the time he peels your underwear down and presses an open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh, your knees are trembling.
Clark hooks one arm under your leg, lifting it over his shoulder like it’s nothing, and buries his mouth between your thighs with a groan that rattles through your whole body.
His tongue is warm and soft and maddeningly slow—circling, tasting, teasing. He doesn’t rush. Not even when your fingers knot in his hair and your hips rock forward with pure desperation.
“Clark—”
He hums against you, and the sound sends a full-body shiver up your spine.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers, lips brushing you as he speaks. “Let me.”
You do.
You let him wreck you.
He’s methodical about it—like he’s following a map only he can see. One hand holding you steady, the other splayed against your stomach, keeping you anchored while he works you open with mouth and tongue and quiet, praising murmurs.
“So sweet… that’s it, sweetheart… you taste like heaven.”
You’re already close when he slips a thick finger inside you. Then another. Slow, patient, curling exactly where you need him. His mouth never stops. His rhythm is steady. Focused. Unrelenting.
You come like that—panting, gripping his shoulders, thighs shaking around his ears as he groans and keeps going, riding it out with you until you’re trembling too hard to stand.
He rises slowly.
His lips are slick. His eyes are dark.
And you’ve never seen anyone look at you like this.
“Come here,” you whisper.
He kisses you then—deep and possessive and tasting like you. You’re the one tugging at his shirt now, unbuttoning in frantic clumsy swipes. You need him. Need him closer. Need him inside.
But when you reach for his belt, he stills your hands gently.
“Not yet,” he says, voice like thunder wrapped in velvet. “Let me take care of you first.”
You blink. “Clark, I—”
He kisses you again—soft, lingering.
“I’ve waited too long for this to rush it,” he murmurs, brushing hair from your face with the back of his knuckles. “You deserve slow.”
Then he lifts you again—like you weigh nothing—and carries you to the bed. He lays you down like you’re fragile—but the look in his eyes says he knows you’re anything but. That you’re something rare. Something he’s been aching for. His palms skim over your thighs again, slow and deliberate, before he spreads you open beneath him.
He doesn’t ask this time. Just settles between your legs like he belongs there, arms hooked under your thighs, holding you wide.
“Clark—”
“I know, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice low and raw. “I’ve got you.”
And he does.
His mouth finds you again—warm, skilled, confident now. No hesitation, just long, wet strokes of his tongue that build on everything he already learned. And then—without warning—he slides two fingers back inside you.
You cry out, hips jolting.
He groans into you, fingers moving in tandem with his mouth—curling just right, matching every flick of his tongue, every wet press of his lips. He doesn’t stop. Doesn’t falter. He watches you the whole time, eyes dark and hungry and so in love with the way you fall apart for him.
You grip the sheets, gasping his name, over and over, until your voice breaks on a sob of pleasure.
“Clark—God, I—I can’t—”
“Yes, you can,” he breathes. “You’re almost there. Let go for me.”
You do. With a cry, with shaking thighs, with your fingers tangled in his hair and your back arching off the bed.
And he doesn’t stop.
He rides your orgasm out with slow, worshipful strokes, kissing your thighs, murmuring into your skin, “So good for me. You’re perfect. You’re everything.”
By the time he pulls back, you’re boneless—dazed and trembling, your chest heaving as he kisses his way up your stomach.
But the way he looks at you then—like he needs to be closer—tells you this isn’t over.
His hands brace on either side of your head as he leans over you. “Can I…?”
Your hips answer for you—tilting up, chasing the heat and weight of him already pressed between your thighs.
“Yes,” you whisper. “Please.”
Clark groans low in his throat as he pushes his boxers down just enough, lining himself up—his cock flushed and thick, already leaking, and you feel the weight of him between your thighs and gasp.
“God, Clark…”
“I know,” he murmurs, forehead resting against yours, hips rocking forward just barely, teasing you with the head of his cock, dragging it through the slick mess he made with his mouth and fingers. “I know, baby. Just—just let me…”
He nudges in slow.
The stretch is slow and steady, his breath catching as your body parts for him. He’s thick. Too thick, maybe, except your body wants him—takes him like it was made to.
You whimper, and his jaw clenches tight.
“You okay?”
“Y—yeah,” you breathe. “Don’t stop.”
He doesn’t. Not even for a second. Inch by inch, he sinks into you, whispering your name, kissing your temple, gripping the backs of your thighs as you wrap your legs around his waist.
“Fuck,” he hisses when he bottoms out, buried deep, balls pressed flush against you. “You feel—Jesus, you feel unbelievable.”
You’re too far gone to answer. You just cling to him, nails dragging lightly down his back, moaning into his mouth when he kisses you again.
The first few thrusts are slow. Deep. Measured. He pulls out just enough to feel you grip him on the way back in, then does it again—and again—and again.
And then something shifts.
Your body clenches around him in a way that makes his head drop to your shoulder with a groan.
“Oh my god, sweetheart—don’t do that—I’m gonna—fuck—”
He thrusts harder.
Not rough, not yet, but firmer. Hungrier. The control he started with begins to slip. You can feel it in his grip, in the sharp edge of his breath, in the tremble of the arm braced beside your head.
“Been thinkin’ about this,” he grits out, voice low and wrecked. “Every night—every goddamn night since the first note. You don’t even know what you do to me.”
You whine, rolling your hips up to meet him, and he snaps—hips slamming forward hard enough to punch the air from your lungs.
“Clark—”
“I’ve got you,” he gasps, fucking into you harder now, his voice filthy and tender all at once. “I’ve got you, baby—so fuckin’ tight—can’t stop—don’t wanna stop—”
You’re clinging to him now, crying out with every thrust. It’s not just the way he fills you—it’s the way he worships you while he does it. The way he moans when you clench. The way he growls your name like a prayer. The way he falls apart in real time, just from the feel of you.
He grabs one of your hands, laces your fingers with his, pins it beside your head.
“You’re mine,” he grits. “You have to be mine.”
“Yes,” you gasp. “Yes—Clark—don’t stop—”
“Never,” he groans. “Never stopping. Not when you feel like this—fuck—”
You can feel him getting close—the way his rhythm starts to stutter, the broken sounds escaping his throat, the way he buries his face against your neck and pants your name like he’s desperate to take you with him.
And you’re almost there too.
You don’t even realize your hand is slipping until he’s gripping it again—pinned tight to the pillow, your fingers laced in his and clenched so tight it aches. The bed frame is starting to shudder beneath you now, the headboard knocking a rhythm into the wall, and Clark is gasping like he’s in pain from how good it feels.
His hips snap forward again—harder this time. Deeper. More desperate.
“Fuck—fuck—I’m sorry,” he grits, voice ragged and thick, “I’m trying to—baby—I can’t—hold back—”
You moan so loud it makes him flinch.
And then he breaks.
One second he’s pulling your name from his lungs like it’s the only word he knows—and the next, he slams into you so hard the bed shifts a full inch. The lamp on the bedside table flickers. The candle flame bursts just slightly higher than before—flickering hot and fast, the wick blackening with a thin curl of smoke. It doesn’t go out. It just burns.
Clark’s back arches.
His cock drags over everything inside you in just the right way, hitting that spot again and again until you’re clutching at his shoulders, babbling nonsense against his skin.
“I can’t—I can’t—Clark!”
“You can,” he pants. “Please—please, baby, cum with me—I can feel you—I can feel it.”
Your body goes taut.
A white-hot snap of pleasure punches through your spine, and your vision blacks out at the edges. You tighten around him—clenching, pulsing, dragging him over the edge with you—and he loses it.
Clark curses—actually curses—and growls something between a moan and a sob as he slams into you one last time, spilling deep inside you. His body locks, every muscle trembling. His teeth scrape the soft skin of your throat—not biting, just grounding himself. Like if he lets go, he’ll come undone completely.
The lights flicker again.
The candle sputters once and steadies.
He breathes like a man starved. His chest heaves. But you can feel it—under your hand, against your skin. His heart’s not racing.
Not like it should be.
You’re gasping. Dazed. Boneless under him. But Clark… Clark’s barely even winded. And yet—his hands are trembling. Just slightly. Still laced in yours. Still holding on.
After, you lie there—chests pressed close, legs tangled, the sheets barely clinging to your hips.
Clark’s arm is slung across your waist, palm wide and warm over your belly like it belongs there. Like he doesn’t ever want to move. His nose is tucked against your temple, breath stirring your hair in soft little pulses. He keeps kissing you. Your cheek. Your jaw. The edge of your brow. He doesn’t stop, like he’s afraid this is a dream and kissing you might anchor it in place.
“Still with me?” he whispers into your skin.
You nod. Drowsy. Sated. Floating.
“Good.” His hand runs down your side in one long, reverent stroke. “Didn’t mean to… get so carried away.”
You hum. “You say that like I didn’t enjoy every second.”
He smiles against your neck. You feel the curve of it, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.
A moment passes.
Then another.
“I think you short-circuited my bedside lamp somehow.”
Clark freezes. “…Did I?”
You roll your head to look at him. “It flickered. Right as you—”
His ears turn bright red. “Maybe just… a power surge?”
You arch a brow. “Right. A romantic, orgasm-timed power surge.”
He mutters something into your shoulder that sounds vaguely like kill me now.
You grin. File it away.
Exhibit 7: Lightbulb went dim at the exact second he came. Candle flame doubled in height.
-
Later that night, long after you’ve both dozed off, you wake to find Clark still holding you. One of his hands is under your shirt, splayed low across your stomach. Protective. Possessive in the gentlest way. His body is still curled around yours like a question mark, like he’s checking for all your answers in how your breath rises and falls.
You shift just slightly—and his grip tightens instinctively, like even in sleep, he can’t let go.
Exhibit 8: He doesn’t sleep like a person. Sleeps like a sentry.
-
In the morning, you wake to the scent of coffee.
Your kitchen is suspiciously spotless for someone who swears he’s clumsy. The pot is full, the mugs pre-warmed, your favorite creamer already swirled in.
Clark is flipping pancakes.
Barefoot.
Wearing one of your sleep shirts. The tight one.
You lean against the doorframe, watching him. His back muscles flex when he flips the pan one-handed.
“Morning,” he says without turning.
You blink. “How’d you know I was standing here?”
“I, uh…” He falters, then gestures at the sizzling pan. “Heard footsteps. I assumed.”
You hum.
Exhibit 9: He heard me from across the apartment, over the sound of a frying pan.
-
You’re brushing your teeth later when you spot the mirror fogged from the shower.
You reach for a towel—and notice it’s already been run under warm water.
You glance at him, and he just shrugs. “Figured you’d want it not freezing.”
“Figured?” you repeat.
He leans against the doorframe, smiling. “Lucky guess.”
You don’t respond. Just kiss his cheek with toothpaste still in your mouth.
Exhibit 10: He always guesses exactly what I need. Down to the second.
-
That night, he falls asleep on your couch during movie night, head on your thigh, hand around your wrist like a lifeline.
You swear you see the movie reflected in his eyes—like the light isn’t just hitting them but moving inside them. You blink. It’s gone.
You look down at him. His lashes are impossibly long. His mouth is parted. His breathing is steady—but not quite… human. Too even. Too perfect.
Exhibit 11: His pupils did a thing. I don’t know how to describe it. But they did a thing.
-
The next day, a car splashes a wave of slush toward you both on the sidewalk.
You brace for impact.
But Clark steps in front of you, faster than you can blink. The water hits him. Not you.
You didn’t even see him move.
You narrow your eyes. He just smiles. “Reflexes.”
“Clark. Be honest. Do you secretly run marathons at night?”
He laughs. “Nope. Just really hate laundry.”
Exhibit 12: Literally teleported into the splash zone to shield me. Probably didn’t even get wet.
-
And still… you don’t say it.
You don’t ask.
Because he’s not just some blur of strength or spectacle.
He’s the man who folds your laundry while pretending it’s because he’s “bad at relaxing.” Who scribbles notes in the margins of your drafts, calling your metaphors “dangerously good.” Who kisses your forehead with a kind of reverence like you’re the one who’s unreal.
You know.
You know.
And he knows you know.
Because he’s hiding it from you. Not really.
When he stumbles over his own sentences, when his smile falters after a late return, when his jaw tenses at the sound of your name whispered too softly—you don’t see evasion. You see weight. You see care.
He’s protecting something.
And you’re trying to figure out how to tell him that you already know. That it’s okay. That you’re still here. That you love him anyway.
You haven’t said it yet—not the knowing, not the loving. But it lives just under your skin. A second heartbeat. A full body truth. You think maybe, if you just look him in the eye long enough next time, he’ll understand.
But still neither of you says it yet. Because the space between what’s said and unsaid—that’s where everything soft lives.
And you’re not ready to let it go.
-
The morning feels ordinary.
There’s a crack in the coffee pot. A printer jam. Perry yelling something about deadlines from his office. Jimmy’s camera bag spills open across your desk, and he swears he’ll fix it after his coffee, and Lois is pacing, muttering about sources.
And then the screens change.
It’s subtle at first—just a flicker. Then the feed cuts mid-commercial. Every monitor in the bullpen goes black, then red. Emergency alert. A shrill tone splits the air. Someone turns up the volume.
You look up.
And everything shifts.
The broadcast blares through the newsroom speakers, raw footage streaming in from a local news chopper.
Metropolis. Midtown. Chaos. A building half-collapsed. Smoke curling upward in a thick, unnatural spiral.
The camera jolts—and then there he is.
Superman.
Thrown through a brick wall.
You feel it in your bones before your brain catches up. That’s him. That’s Clark.
He’s on his knees in the wreckage, panting, bleeding—from his temple, from his ribs, from a gash you can’t see the end of. The suit is torn. His cape is shredded. He’s never looked so human.
He tries to stand. Wobbles. Collapses.
You stop breathing.
“Is Superman going to be ok?” someone behind you murmurs.
“Jesus,” Jimmy whispers.
“He’ll be fine,” Lois says, too casually. She leans back in her chair, sipping her coffee like it’s any other news cycle. “He always is.”
You want to scream. Because that’s not a story on a screen. That’s not some distant, untouchable god.
That’s your boyfriend.
That’s the man who brought you coffee this morning with one sugar and just the right amount of cream. The man who kissed your wrist in the elevator, whose hands trembled when he whispered I want to be enough. Who holds you like you’re something holy and bruises like he’s made of skin after all.
He’s not fine. He’s bleeding.
He’s not getting up.
You freeze.
The bullpen keeps moving around you—half-aware, half-horrified—but you can’t speak. Can’t blink. Can’t breathe.
Your hands start to shake.
You grip the edge of your desk like it might anchor you to the floor, like if you let go you’ll run straight out the door, out into the chaos, toward the wreckage and the fire and the thing trying to kill him.
A part of you already has.
A hit lands on the feed—something massive slamming him into the pavement—and your knees almost buckle from the force of it. Not physically. Not really. But somewhere deep. Something inside you fractures.
You don’t know what the enemy is.
Alien, maybe. Or worse.
But it’s not the shape of the thing that terrifies you—it’s him. It’s how slow he is to get up. How much his mouth is bleeding. How his eyes are unfocused. How you’ve never seen him look like this.
You want to run.
You want to be there.
But you’re not. You’re here. In your dress pants and button-up, in your neat little office chair, with your badge clipped to your hip and your heart breaking quietly.
Because no one else knows. No one else understands what’s really at stake. No one else sees the man behind the cape.
Not like you do.
Your vision blurs.
You wipe your eyes. Pretend it’s nothing. The bullpen is too loud to hear your breath catch.
But still—your hands tremble and your heart pounds so violently it hurts.
And you cry.
Quietly.
You cry like the city might if it could feel. You cry like the sky should. You cry like someone already grieving—like someone who knows what it means to lose him.
The footage won’t stop. Superman reels across the screen—his suit torn, the shoulder scorched through in a blackened, jagged arc. Blood smears the corner of his mouth. There’s a limp in his gait now, one he keeps trying to mask. The camera catches it anyway.
The newsroom is silent now save for the hiss of static and the low voice of the anchor describing the damage downtown.
You sit frozen at your desk, the plastic edge biting into your palms as you grip it like it might stop your body from unraveling. The taste of bile has settled at the back of your throat. Your coffee’s gone cold in its cup.
Across the bullpen, someone mutters, “Jesus. He took a hit.”
“Look at the suit,” Lois says flatly, standing by one of the screens. “He’s never looked that rough before.”
“Dude’s limping,” Jimmy adds, pushing his glasses up. “That alien thing—what even was that?”
Their words feel like background noise. Distant. Warped. You can’t seem to hear anything over the white-hot panic blistering in your chest.
You blink, your eyes burning, throat tight. You can’t just sit here and cry. Not in front of Lois and Perry and half the bullpen. But your body is trembling anyway. You clench your hands in your lap, nails digging crescent moons into your skin.
He’s hurt.
And he’s still out there.
Fighting.
Alone.
You can’t just sit here.
You shove your chair back hard enough that it scrapes against the floor. “I’m going.”
Lois turns toward you. “Going where?”
“I’m covering it. The attack. The fallout. Whatever’s left—I want to see it firsthand.”
Lois’s brow lifts. “Since when do you make reckless calls like this?”
“I don’t,” you snap, already grabbing your coat. “But I am now.”
Jimmy’s already halfway to the door. “If we’re going, I’m bringing the camera.”
Lois hesitates. Then sighs. “Hell. You two’ll get yourselves killed without me.”
You don’t wait for her to finish grabbing her phone. You’re already out the door.
-
Downtown is a war zone.
The smell of scorched concrete clings to the air. Smoke spirals in uneven plumes from the carcass of a building that must have been beautiful once. Sirens scream in every direction, red and blue lights flashing off every pane of shattered glass.
You arrive just as the dust begins to settle.
The battle is over but the wreckage tells you how bad it was.
The Justice Gang moves through the remains like figures out of a dream—tattered and bloodied, but upright.
Guy Gardner limps past, muttering curses. “Next time, I’m bringing a bigger damn ring.” Kendra Saunders—Hawkgirl—has one wing half-folded and streaked with blood. She ignores it as she checks on a paramedic’s bandages. Mr. Terrific is already coordinating with local emergency crews, directing flow with a hand to his ear. And Metamorpho—God, he looks like he’s melting and re-solidifying with every breath.
And then…
Him.
He descends from the smoke. Not in a blur. Not with a boom of sonic air. Slowly. Controlled.
But not untouched.
He lands in a crouch, shoulders tight, the line of his jaw drawn sharp with tension. His boots crunch against broken concrete. His cape is torn at one edge, flapping limply behind him.
He’s hurt.
He’s so clearly hurt.
And even through all of it—through the dirt and blood and pain—he sees you. His eyes lock onto yours in an instant. The rest of the world falls away. There’s no press. No chaos. No destruction.
Just him.
And you.
The corner of his mouth lifts—just a flicker. Not a smile. Just… recognition.
And something deeper behind it.
You know know.
And he is letting you know.
But he straightens a second later, lifting his chin, slotting the mask back into place like a practiced motion. He squares his shoulders, winces barely perceptible, and turns to face the press.
Lois is already stepping forward, questions in hand. “Superman. What can you tell us about the enemy?”
His voice is steady, but you can hear it now—hear the strain. The breath that doesn’t quite come easy. The syllables that drag like they’re fighting his tongue. “It wasn’t local,” he says. “Some kind of dimensional breach. We had help closing it.”
Jimmy’s camera clicks. Kendra coughs into her hand.
You’re not writing.
You’re just watching.
Watching the soot along his cheekbone. The split in his lip. The way he shifts his weight to favor one side. The way the “s” in “justice” drags like it hurts to say.
He looks tired.
But more than that—he looks like Clark.
And it’s never been more obvious than right now, standing under broken sky, trying to pretend like nothing’s changed.
You want to run to him. You want to hold him up.
But you stay rooted.
When the questions start to slow and the press begins murmuring among themselves, he glances over. Just at you.
“Are you okay?” he asks, barely audible.
You nod. “Are you?”
He hesitates. Then says, “Getting there.”
It’s not a performance. Not for them. Just for you.
You nod again. The look you share says more than anything else could.
I know.
I’m not leaving.
You don’t have to say it.
When he flies away—slower this time, one hand brushing briefly against his ribs—it’s not dramatic. There’s no sonic boom. No heat trail. Just wind and distance.
Lois exhales. “He looked rough.”
Jimmy nods. “Still hot, though.”
You say nothing. You just stare up at the empty sky. And press your shaking hand over your heart.
-
You fake calm.
You smile when Jimmy slaps your shoulder and says something about getting the footage up by morning. You nod through Lois’s sharp-eyed stare and mutter something about your deadline, your byline, your blood sugar—anything to get her to stop watching you like she knows what you’re not saying.
But the second you’re alone?
You run. It’s not a sprint, not really. Just that jittery, full-body urgency—the kind that makes your hands shake and your legs move faster than your thoughts can follow. You don’t remember the trip home. Just the chaos of your own pulse, the way your chest won’t stop aching.
You replay the scene again and again in your mind: his landing, the blood on his lip, the flicker of pain when he looked at you. That not-quite smile. That nearly imperceptible tremble.
You’d never wanted to hold someone more in your life.
And when you reach your door, keys fumbling, heart still hammering? He’s already there.
You pause halfway through the doorway.
He’s standing in your living room, like he’s been waiting hours. He’s not in the suit. No cape. No crest. Just a plain black T-shirt and flannel pajama pants, his hair still damp like he just showered.
He looks like Clark. Except… tonight you know there’s no difference.
“Hi,” he says quietly. His voice is soft. Familiar. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
You blink. “Did you break through my patio door?”
He winces. “Yes. Sort of.”
You lift a brow. “You owe me a new lock.”
“It doesn’t work like that.” He says with a roll of his eyes.
A silence stretches between you. It’s not tense. Not angry. Just full of everything neither of you said earlier.
He takes a step toward you, then stops. “How long have you known?”
You drop your keys in the bowl by the door and toe off your shoes before answering. “Since the lamp. And the candle,” you say. “But… mostly tonight.”
He nods like that hurts. Like he wishes he could’ve done better. Like he wishes he could’ve told you in some perfect, movie-moment way.
“I didn’t want you to find out like that,” he says quietly.
You walk to the couch and sit, your limbs finally catching up to the adrenaline crash still sweeping through you. “I’m glad I found out at all.”
That’s what makes him move. He sinks down beside you, hands on his knees. You can see it in his profile—the exhaustion, the regret, the weight he’s been carrying for so long. You’re not sure he’s ever looked more human.
“I’ve been hiding so long,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. “I forgot how to be seen. And with you… I didn’t want to lie. But I didn’t want to lose it either. I didn’t want to lose you.”
Your throat tightens. “You won’t,” you say. And you mean it.
His head turns then, slowly, eyes meeting yours like he’s trying to memorize your face from this distance. You don’t look away.
When he kisses you, it’s not careful. It’s not shy. It’s like something breaks open inside him—softly. The dam finally giving way.
His hands cradle your face like you’re something he’s terrified to shatter but needs to feel. His mouth is hot and open, reverent, desperate in the way it deepens. He kisses like he’s anchoring himself to the earth through your lips. Like everything in him is still shaking from battle and you’re the only thing that still feels real.
You reach for him. Thread your fingers into his hair. Pull him closer.
It builds like a slow swell—hands tangling, breathing harder, heat coiling low in your stomach. He pushes you back gently against the cushions, his body moving over yours with careful precision. Not to pin. Just to hold.
You feel it in every motion: the restraint. The effort. He could crush steel and he’s using that strength to cradle your ribs.
He undresses you with reverence. His fingers tremble when they touch your bare skin. Not from hesitation—but because he’s finally allowed to want. To have. To be seen.
You undress him too. That soft black T-shirt comes off first. Then the flannel. His chest is mottled with bruises, a dark one blooming across his side where that alien creature must’ve hit him. Your fingertips trace the edge of it.
He exhales, shaky. But he doesn’t stop you.
You’re straddling his lap before you realize it, chest to chest, foreheads pressed together.
“Are you scared?” he whispers.
Your thumb brushes his cheek. “Never of you.”
He kisses you again—slower this time. More control, but more depth too. His hands glide down your back and settle at your hips, thumbs pressing into your skin like he needs the reminder that you’re here. That you chose this.
The rest unfolds like prayer. The way he touches you—thorough, patient, hungry—it’s worship. Every gasp you make pulls a soft, broken sound from his throat. Every arch of your back makes his eyes flutter shut like he’s overwhelmed by the sight of you. The way he moves inside you is deep and aching and full of something larger than either of you.
Not rough. But desperate. Raw. True.
And even when he falters—when his hands grip too tight or the air warms just a little too fast—you hold his face and whisper, “I know. It’s okay. I want all of you.” And he gives it. All of him. Until the only thing either of you can do is fall apart. Together.
Later, when you’re curled up on the couch in a tangle of limbs and quiet breathing, he rests his forehead against your temple.
The city buzzes somewhere far away.
He whispers into your skin: “Next time… don’t let me fly off like that.”
Your smile is soft, tired. “Next time, come straight to me.”
He nods, eyes already fluttering shut.
And finally, for the first time since this began—you both sleep without secrets between you.
-
You wake to sunlight. Not loud, not harsh—just soft beams slipping through the blinds, spilling across the floor, warming the space where your bare shoulder meets the sheets. You blink slowly, the weight of sleep still thick behind your eyes, and shift just slightly in the tangle of limbs wrapped around you. He doesn’t stir. Not even a little.
Clark is still curled around you like the night never ended—his chest at your back, legs tangled with yours, one arm snug around your waist and the other folded up against your ribs, fingers resting over your heart like he’s guarding it in his sleep.
You don’t move. You can’t. Because it’s perfect. You let your cheek rest against his arm, warm and solid beneath you, and you just listen—to the steady rhythm of his heart, to the rise and fall of his breathing, to the way the silence doesn’t feel empty anymore. You don’t know if you’ve ever felt more grounded than you do right now, held like this. It isn’t the cape. It isn’t the flight. It isn’t the power that quiets the noise in your chest.
It’s him. Just Clark. And for once, you don’t need anything else.
He stumbles into the kitchen half an hour later in your robe. Your actual, honest-to-god, fuzzy gray robe. It’s oversized on you, which means it fits him like a second skin—belt tied loose at the hips, collar gaping just enough to make you lose your train of thought. His hair is a mess, sticking up in soft black tufts. His glasses are nowhere to be found. He scratches the back of his neck, blinking at the cabinets like he’s not entirely sure how kitchens work.
You lean against the counter with your arms folded, watching him with open amusement. “You own too much flannel.”
Clark glances over, eyes squinting against the light. “I’ll have you know, that robe is a Metropolis winter essential.”
“You’re bulletproof.”
“I get cold emotionally.”
You snort. “You’re such a menace in the morning.”
“And yet,” he says, opening the fridge and retrieving eggs with the careful precision of someone who’s clearly trying not to break them with super strength, “you let me stay.”
You grin. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
He burns the first pancake. Which is honestly impressive, considering you weren’t even sure it was physically possible for someone with super speed and heat vision to ruin breakfast. But he flips it too fast—like way too fast—and the thing launches halfway across the skillet before folding in on itself and sizzling dramatically.
You raise an eyebrow. Clark stares down at the pancake like it betrayed him. “I didn’t account for surface tension.”
“Did you just say ‘surface tension’ while making pancakes?”
“I’m a complex man,” he says solemnly.
You lean over and pluck a piece of fruit from the cutting board he forgot he was slicing. “You’re a menace and a dork.”
He pouts. Full, actual pout. Then shuffles over and kisses your shoulder. “I’ll get better with practice.”
You roll your eyes. But your skin’s still buzzing where his lips brushed it.
Later, you sit on the counter while he stands between your knees, coffee in one hand, the other resting warm on your thigh. It’s quiet. Not awkward or forced—just soft. Full of little glances and sips and contented silence. There’s no fear in him now. No carefully placed pauses. No skirting around things. He just… is. Clark Kent. The boy who spilled coffee on your notes three times. The man who kept writing to you in secret even when you didn’t see him.
“You’re not what I expected,” you say, fingers brushing his arm.
He lifts an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought Superman would be… shinier. Less flannel. More invincible.”
“Are you saying I’m not shiny enough for you?”
“I’m saying you’re better.”
He blinks. And then—just like that—he smiles. Not the bashful one. Not the public one. The real one. Small and warm and honest. The kind of smile you only give someone when you feel safe. And maybe that’s what this is now. Safety. Not the absence of danger—but the presence of someone who will always come back.
His communicator buzzes from somewhere in the bedroom. Clark lets out the most exhausted groan you’ve ever heard and buries his face in your shoulder like it’ll make the world go away.
“You have to go?” you ask gently, threading your fingers through his hair.
“Soon.”
“You’ll come back?”
He lifts his head. Meets your eyes. “Every time.”
You kiss him then—slow and deep and familiar now. The kind of kiss that tastes like mornings and memory and maybe something closer to forever. He kisses you back like he already misses you. And when he finally pulls away and disappears into the sky outside your window—less streak of light, more quiet parting—you just stand there for a moment. Barefoot. Wrapped in your robe. Heart full.
You’re about to start cleaning up the kitchen when you see it. A post-it note, stuck to the fridge. Just a small square of yellow. Written in the same handwriting you could spot anywhere now.
“You always look soft in the mornings. I like seeing you like this.” —C.K.
You read it three times. Then you smile. You walk to the cabinet above the sink, open the door—and stick it right next to all the others. The secret ones. The old ones. The ones that helped you feel seen before you even knew whose eyes were watching.
And now you know. Now you see him too.
All of him.
And you wouldn’t trade it for anything.
-
tags: @eeveedream m @anxiousscribbling @pancake-05 @borhapparker @dreammiiee @benbarnesprettygurl @insidethegardenwall @butterflies-on-my-ashes s @maplesyrizzup @rockwoodchevy @jasontoddswhitestreak @loganficsonly @overwintering-soldier @hits-different-cause-its-you @eclipsedplanet @wordacadabra @itzmeme e @cecesilver @crisis-unaverted-recs @indigoyoons @chili4prez @thetruthisintheirdreams @ethanhoewke (<— it wouldn’t let me tag some blogs I’m so sorry!!)
mr. bedtime - CK. ── .✦
You're curled under the covers, screen glowing in your face, finger mid-scroll. Clark shifts beside you, already in his usual sleeping position: one arm tucked under his head, the other reaching for you blindly like a sleepy sea creature.
"Baby," he mumbles, voice low and warm from sleep. "Put the phone down."
"In a sec," you murmur. "Just one more thing."
“Mhm.” He doesn’t believe you. He never does.
Instead of arguing, he does what he always does — rolls over slowly and wraps himself around you like a human weighted blanket. Big chest pressed to your back. One leg thrown over yours. A soft kiss behind your ear.
“Five more minutes,” you promise.
Clark lets out the smallest dramatic sigh. “That’s what you said twelve scrolls ago.”
You snort. “Are you counting now?”
“Yes,” he says. “Because I’m being ignored. Neglected. Replaced by a tiny glowing rectangle.”
He nuzzles into your neck like a needy puppy. “I’m cold. And alone. And possibly dying.”
“You’re 6'4" and 200 pounds of cuddle,” you giggle, leaning into him.
“Exactly,” he says, smug now. “You’re lucky I haven’t suffocated you with affection yet.”
With that, he gently but firmly grabs your phone and sets it on the nightstand. The room dims immediately, leaving only the soft yellow hue of your bedside lamp.
“Hey!” you whine.
“No more blue light, sweetheart. It’s time for cuddles.”
And then he tucks you into him. Tight. Chin over your shoulder, arms around your belly, one hand petting slow, sleepy circles into your hip.
“See?” he whispers. “Way better than doomscrolling.”
You huff, but you’re already melting. The warmth of him, the rhythm of his breath, the safety of his arms — it’s your favorite place on Earth.
“You’re annoying,” you mumble, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.
“I’m Mr. Bedtime,” he corrects, smiling against your skin.
You roll your eyes. “That’s not a thing.”
“It is now.”
And before you can argue, he whispers:
“Sleep, baby. I’ve got you.”
You fall asleep five minutes later. Phone forgotten. Heart full. Clark already snoring softly into your hair like the big bedtime menace he is.
✦ please do not copy, repost, or translate this work. © lazysoulwriter // i write with a lot of love and care, so please respect that.
𝗜 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗜 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗜 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄
You confess your affections to an unsuspecting Superman, but your best friend Clark can’t know about your crush, okay? You’d die of embarrassment. (Or, Clark falls in love while Superman does most of the wooing.) fem, 8k
˚‧꒰ა ❤︎ ໒꒱‧˚
You never thought you’d get to talk to Superman. You've never been in that kind of danger, and you never hoped to be. You hadn’t wanted to talk to Superman because you know this is weird. You can’t have a crush on someone you don’t know. It’s idol worship, a celebrity fixation, and Superman is the perfect target. You’re not alone in loving everything about him —it’s easy. You aren’t ever confronted with the bad in his good.
And then he’s standing in front of you with his hands braced on your shoulders, and there’s blood running down your face from your temple and you’re crying, because it hurts, because you’re in the panic of your life and not sure what to do next.
He frowns at you with an unwavering gentleness.
“I’m sorry,” he says, “take a deep breath, ma’am. Deep breath.”
“It’s bl– bleeding.”
“I know.”
You shudder through tears as Superman brings his cape up and rips. It startles you, sending fat tears plinking down your cheek. You hold your breath as he brings his scrap to your face, dabbing the wetness from your cheeks before turning the fabric and holding it to your temple firmly.
You gasp painfully under his touch, desperate for air.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his voice a new shade, “it’s alright, you’re going to be fine, I promise. I’m gonna press this to your head, and we’ll see if we can get this bleeding stopped. As soon as it does, I’ll take you down and we can get you some real help.”
You nod, skittish as a scared deer, eyes as wide as they’ll go to follow his movements. It doesn’t hurt any more than the injury itself as he presses down on your head wound. He sighs in sympathy anyway. A broad hand spreads behind your back, familiar in a way, or maybe it’s the way he’s talking to you now. Like he knows you as you know him.
The photos of him online don’t do him justice.
“It’s not bad. I know it hurts, but,” —his hand finds your shoulder, squeezes lightly— “it’s because it’s so high up, alright? They always bleed more. It doesn’t mean this is anything to worry about beyond fixing you up and getting you some pain relief.”
“You– you’re real help.”
He holds your gaze. “Yeah?”
You wonder if he can feel the heat of your blush. It’s all over. He’s lucky your head wound doesn’t start spurting. “Yeah– yeah, I– Superman.”
His smile is everything. “What?” he asks patiently.
“I’m a big fan of– of yours.”
“You are?”
“You’re so brave,” you breathe out in a rush, though it hurts your head. “So brave. And– and…”
“Sorry,” he murmurs, putting a little more pressure on your temple. “Thank you for being a fan. All I want is to keep everyone safe.”
“You’re so gentle with everyone, even the aliens, and– you’re pretty…”
“Pretty?” he asks, pure surprise in his voice, his hand falling off of your arm.
You wince. “Yeah. Yes. Handsome. Sorry, you must get told that so much.”
“It’s okay. I won’t hold you to anything you say. You’re injured, after all.”
His teasing tone pretty much flies over your head. “No, I’m not lying. I mean it. You’re really lovely, and what you do, it makes you lovelier, it does–” You nearly choke on your enthusiasm. He has to know.
“Don’t get wound up, I’m sorry. I believe you. Let’s try to stay calm.”
Your head is aching in a new way, now. Less the sting of a wide cut, more beating, like a whirl in your own brain twisting and shaking, dizziness alive behind your eyes and threatening to knock you over. You clutch at Superman’s arm and he knows what you need, slipping his free arm behind your back before you can collapse.
“I don’t usually get crushes on people,” you inform him. “But it was hard not to get one with you. You’re even nicer than I thought you’d be.”
“It’s easy to be nice to you. Easy as breathing.”
Superman hugs you. You swear he does. But when the concussion begins to clear up and your confusion wanes in a hospital bed outside of the battle zone, you realise that he was holding you upright. Superman doesn’t know you, he never will, and you’re okay with it in the grand scheme of things. If you had to meet him, you’re glad it was while he was keeping you safe. He really is a good guy.
—
A week later, Clark Kent is waiting for you at the doors to the Daily Planet.
“Are you sure you don’t need more rest?” he asks, forcibly removing your handbag from your shoulder to carry himself.
“I’m sure.”
“It’s okay if you need more time to recover. You’re still wearing a dressing.”
“It’s a bandaid, Clark, and it’s to hide the scar for now, it’s–”
“It’s still a wound.”
“It’s fine! You saw it, you know it’s fine.”
Your overbearing best friend had surprise-visited you the day after your injury despite a text to tell him to stay home. You’re fine. It was a cut and the mildest concussion you could’ve had. You didn’t throw up, or collapse, you’d simply gotten confused and bled all over Metropolis’ finest super hero until his hands were more red than white.
“It looked awful, it still does.”
“It looks fine. Even the nurse said it was a small cut, in an unfortunate place.”
“Very unfortunate.”
You follow him to the elevator bank with a frown. “Clark, you don’t have to sulk.”
“I’m not sulking! I just don’t see what’s wrong with staying in bed for now.”
“I have stuff to do, babe. I have to work. I have to move forward, it barely hurts anymore.”
He likes being called babe, simpering accordingly. “Well, you’re sitting down all day. Doctor’s orders.”
“Show me your oath and I’ll consider it.”
“Please?”
He looks like he could cry. Not that he will, but like he could if you keep saying no to him. And despite all your grievances with being treated like you’re fragile now, you decide to take it easy, if only to give Clark the peace of mind. “Okay, sure. You can wait on me all day.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Clark’s your best friend because —no matter how much it might confuse you— he seems to really love you, maybe from the moment he met you. You started at the Daily Planet and he took to you like a duck takes to water. Everything you said made him laugh, every recipe you wrote was one he had to try. And you figured it was something boys tend to do, right? Pretend you‘re interesting until they get what they want from you, but Clark’s never asked for anything else, loving you wholly and expecting nothing in return.
You let him swing an arm around your shoulders, a mirror of himself those few nights ago where he’d come shaky and sorry to see you. He apologised for not being there when you got hurt, as if he could’ve stopped it.
“I’m sick of working already,” you say.
“Then let’s go home.”
“Clark. I’m being conversational.”
“Don’t tease me,” he pleads, sounding all sudden and whiney. You squirm out of his arms to poke his side. Gets more solid by the day. Idiot boy.
“Have you been working out?”
“Can you stop?”
“Can I stop? You’re a nightmare.”
Clark threatens to superglue you to your deskchair, but he titters around you hopelessly all day.
—
You’re laying on the gravel roof of your apartment on top of a sun lounger, trying to decide if getting some sun is worth all the noise. Beeping, birds, cars, doors, the wind, this high up and occasionally curving through buildings to kiss your skin —noise, noise, noise. Your phone is ringing while you ignore it, desperate to get through the last chapter of your book without interruption. You have thus far been foiled, and figured nobody’d be able to find you up here.
The quick, awful zip of a high impact sounds somewhere close. You nearly topple from your lounger, a hand pressed to your chest, your heart racing near painfully at the surprise. You whip your head to the horizon looking for smoke, but there’s nothing. For a few minutes, you can’t hear anything at all.
The shape of him descends before your mind can catch up. Then, he’s there in one piece. A touchable dream, Carol Ann Duffy at work and torturing you in passing. You’ve seen a ton of photos of him, hundreds, videos of girls recording to ask him sweet questions, and you’ve never seen him smile so shyly. You shiver violently down your arms, but Superman isn’t here to hurt you.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
“You were?” you ask.
“I wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”
You sit up properly. The book in your lap makes a crunching noise that you happily ignore. “I’m fine. I’m fine, did you– You’re here to see if I’m okay?”
His smile strengthens. “Is that okay?”
You stammer, “Of course it’s okay!” A flush rises from your chest to your cheeks as he stays there. He’s not leaving until you answer. Holy fuck. “I’m great, Superman. All healed up.”
“Are you sure? You still have–” He gestures to your bandaid.
“It’s to keep it clean in the daytime. I take it off before bed.”
“Does it hurt?”
“No, of course not.”
“Why of course not?”
Your heart makes a funny pulse. Handsome isn’t the right word for him. There’s something special about it, otherworldly, literally, the cut of his jaw somehow sharp and soft at once, his pert nose, his eyes gone light in the sunshine and framed by dark lashes that beg to be touched. You imagine running a fingertip along them, gently brushing them up for no reason at all, and he narrows his gaze at you in your silence. The shorts you’re wearing have you worrying you’re underdressed in his eyes. They’re pajamas, pink with black polka dots and edgings. You’d had the forethought to wear a short-sleeve rather than a vest lest one of your neighbours find themselves up here with the same quiet idea. Superman’s fully clothed in comparison.
His boots look formidable next to your puppy dog socks.
“It doesn’t hurt,” you promise, half-lying and uncaring. Superman saved you. He’s perfect, so your head doesn’t hurt.
“You seem a little flustered, is all.”
“Oh. Oh, well, it’s hot out, and I’m not like, super used to being in your company. Or any company, um, like yours.”
“You’ve never met a metahuman?”
“No, never.”
“We’re just like everybody else.”
You laugh.
“No, really,” he says, idling toward you, red boots treading the gravel down flat. “I’m just like you, you don’t have to be nervous.”
“Sorry.”
“Now what do you have to be sorry for?”
You laugh again, a giggle you’d never admit to. He’s strangely intimidating; a presence, but not an imposing one.
“What are you reading?” he asks, nodding to your lap.
“Oh, uh. Uh, it’s called The Ocean?” You straighten up the book to show him the cover. “It’s good, uh, the main character is a young boy who wants to find his father, I think it’s supposed to be a take on The Odyssey,”
“Why is he looking for his father?”
“He’s missing after a terrible war. It’s one of those ones that hurts the entire time but the ending has wrapped it up so nicely, it was worth it.”
“Maybe I’ll read it, too. You look like someone who has great taste.”
“You can borrow my copy.”
Superman’s gaze narrows again. “You’re finished?”
“Yeah, I finished it before you got here.”
He waits in the quiet. You’re sure he’s going to call you out for your lie. It's not as though a Kryptonian truth-radar would be outside of the realm of possibility.
Superman finally smiles. “I promise to bring it back,” he says simply.
“Sure. Well, take your time.”
—
How long can it possibly take a superhero to read one book?
You shouldn't be thinking about it again. Poor Clark is sitting in the corner of the couch with your feet stuck under his thighs, telling you about the grocery store widow who asks him for help to take her groceries out to her car whenever she sees him. She’d spotted him at the produce section today and dibsed him, and Clark doesn’t mind (though she leaves her car at the back of the parking lot no matter the weather). In fact, Clark doesn’t bring it up to complain. He’s sympathising with her, how lonely she must be.
You try to shake Superman from your head while Clark is talking, but the thoughts of him won’t budge.
You’d made a fool of yourself on the roof. Superman had taken your book to be polite. He probably won’t come back.
“Hey.”
You lift your head.
Clark’s looking at you. Big blue eyes in a classic face, the line of his glasses dark and heavy against his brow. They trace your expression, searching for the misery you’ve failed to hide, until he finds it in the creases of your eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. His voice is weak with worry.
“Nothing.”
“It’s something.”
“It’s really not.”
“It definitely is. You can tell me about anything, you know. Or you don’t have to tell me, but I’ll be here for you no matter what. Some food for thought.”
“Food for thought. Eat this, Kent,” you say, jabbing him at the top of the thigh with your heel.
Clark grabs your foot. “Come on. I know something’s wrong, and I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me, but…” He lets your foot smack down into the top of his thigh to grab his tea instead.
“Isn’t that cold?” you ask.
“It’s tepid,” he allows after a sip.
You laugh, so he laughs. It’s a lovely sound.
“Again. Again, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but I’d listen if you wanted me to.”
“Don’t try and make out like you’re not keeping secrets.”
Clark goes slack-jawed. “Sorry?”
“You don’t tell me everything. I know exactly where you disappear to all the time.”
“You do?”
You climb up on your knees and settle in front of him. You’re wearing those pink polka dot shorts like you were on the roof with Superman, in hopes they’ll summon him to you like a talisman. Clark presses his lips together, watching you closely as you take his face into your hands.
“You’re dating Lois Lane,” you say.
His fingers dust your elbow. “What?”
“You’re sweet on her, aren’t you? Plus, you’re busy all the time. You’ve cancelled movie night three times this month, did you know?”
“I’m sorry–”
“I’m not. I’m happy for you.”
Clark shakes his head. “But Lois and I… I mean, not for months. We were almost something, I think, but no. Not for a while.”
You let your hands fall off of his cheeks. “Oh. Sorry, Clark.”
“Don’t be. I should’ve told you, but it was new and then it was over.”
“You should’ve told me,” you agree, “but I sort of get why you didn’t. I’m your girl best friend. That’s a thing.”
“You’re my best friend,” he promises, no ‘girl’ prefix necessary. “That’s not why it ended, Lois isn’t like that. It was… we disagreed on so many things. Looking back, I think she was right about most of it.”
“Well, she’s a girl.”
“That she is. You’re all the same, aren’t you? All dazzling.”
He says it with an earnestness that reminds you of the other half of your friendship-equation. Clark’s your best friend because he loves your work and your jokes and your company, and you’re his best friend because he’s good as gold, inside out, just awfully lovable.
“You’re ’dazzling’ too,” you say. “You are.”
Clark offers you his mug of tea. You take a sip for something to do.
“Not that cold,” you murmur.
“I never realised you were such a liar.”
“I don’t really lie to you, Clark.”
He leans up to kiss your head, chaste against your purpling scar. “I know.”
—
“So, this book–”
You jump hard enough to send your groceries five different ways, oranges and kiwis for Clark flying up in the air. They never hit the ground —Superman catches them in two hands.
Your loaf of bread lays cradled in his arm like a baby.
“Fuck,” you complain.
“I’m sorry.” Superman laughs at you. Laughs. “Sorry. But this book, is there a sequel?”
“What?” you ask. Superman tips your groceries into your waiting paper bag.
“I think I need a sequel.” He pulls The Ocean from a pocket and squeezes it unkindly. “I think it ruined my life.”
“There’s no sequel. But–” don’t spoil the ending for me, you almost say. “Did you enjoy it at all?”
“It was good. Do you read a lot, or are you down to the real heart-achers?”
“Uh, I guess. Well, no, I used to read more, but I didn’t have time for a while ‘n now I’m usually too stirred up to settle down.”
“You cook.”
You blink. “You googled me?”
“No, how could I? But I did see you on the third page of the Daily Planet. You have a little author’s window. You made pumpkin pie.”
“For Thanksgiving weekend, yeah. They only ever put me near the front or on the main page of the website if it’s the holidays.”
“Is that true?”
You shake your head. Not to say no, to say, let’s not talk about it. Silly insecurities are unnecessary conversation. At least, they are with him.
Someone gasps from behind you. With one comes a few. The people near the crosswalk are starting to notice Superman’s tall figure standing in the sun, and though you’d wish he’d managed to hide in the shadows, you admit to yourself that there’s nowhere else he could ever be. He looks right in the sun.
“Do you want to come with me?” he asks.
Do you want to go with him? What the fuck does he think? said in your head ecstatically, not a lick of derision against him. Your excitement nearly blinds you.
“Yeah,” you say, practically mumbling, wanting to come off nonchalant and instead sounding painfully shy, even to your own ears.
“Yeah?” He offers an arm. “Come here.”
Your charmed little laugh makes him grin. “Alright?” he asks, locking an arm around you vice-tight.
“Where are we–”
The air leaves your lungs in one fell swoop. There and gone, breathless and weightless in tandem.
The sky is more than blue when you’re in it.
There’s nothing you can say about it. You’re terrified Superman is going to drop you, you can hardly breathe from the sudden speed at which you’d been taken up with him, but beyond that, there’s nothing to say. Wordless, endless sky. Blue, blue—
“It’s not as scary as you think, right?” he asks, his head angled down to yours.
“I expected you to have to shout. I don’t know why.”
“It’s windier in the air, but we’re close. I don’t need to yell.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t get many groceries.”
“You aren’t heavy.”
You’re delighted. “This is a paper bag, you realise! I’m surprised it didn’t explode the second you got me up here!”
“I’ll be careful. You’re precious cargo, and you deserve a better experience now than the one you got when you first came up here with me.”
“I don’t remember much of it.”
“That’s okay. I do.”
You should feel ridiculous, but strong arms hold you steady. Blue eyes like someone familiar pour over your face, as though they need to see you clearly, with all this perfect light. Your few groceries are squeezed between your chests as you squeeze him by the neck, desperate for the extra security, that he won’t simply let you go, and have you fall.
“This is amazing,” you breathe, your eyes sweeping down to take in beautiful Metropolis beating away beneath you. The cars look like ants. The buildings cast shadows you’d never noticed from the ground.
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s something.”
You glance up to find him still staring at you.
The girls on SuperClub would never, ever believe you if you tried to tell them what passes between you, then. (Not that you frequent SuperClub. Often. You see it while scrolling, and you tend to scroll past it with a fond eye roll.) They wouldn’t believe that Superman brings his hand to your head to touch your temple, as though your small scar is a personal affront to him. They wouldn’t believe the way that he pauses when you shudder. Wouldn’t believe how he lets his fingertip tumble down your cheek, or the soft incline of his head. The slightest kiss of his eyelashes meeting in the very corners of his eyes as they almost close.
“Don’t feel guilty, please,” you say.
“What?” He sounds as though he’s woken up from a nap.
“About what happened. It wasn’t your fault that I got hurt. I wanted you to know that. You saved me.”
Superman lets the distance between your two faces grow. “I…”
“If this is what that is, if you feel like you owe me something, well. You don’t… I don’t know you, Superman, but sometimes I think I do. It’s like… someone I've met before? I can see your bleeding heart.” You offer a brash smile. “But I’m just fine. You promised me that I would be, and I am.”
“You’re not making this any easier for me.”
You shift in his grasp, his hair tickling you and the little hairs on your arms.
“I’m not a very easy person,” you say.
Superman presses his nose to your cheek.
“I think you’re giving me tachycardia,” you whisper.
He hears it. Doesn’t answer for a while, and when he does, it’s to neither of the things you said before.
“Let me take you somewhere new,” he says.
—
A day later, Clark asks if he can bring you dinner. Like and unlike himself, to care enough to ask but to forgo his usual boisterous lack of respect when it comes to taking care of you. Clark recognises that you like to be cared for aggressively. That you want someone to care so much that they won’t stop at the first hurdle. You want someone to take it at a sprint, and Clark’s a show off loser-dork who likes taking care of you.
He meets you at the door, where you show him your small picnic basket kitted with two plates, knives, forks, and a hidden dessert. “Too hot in my apartment,” you say.
“What’s wrong with the AC?”
“It’s leaking.”
“I’ll take a look at it. What happened to that fan I got you?” he asks, his fingers at your wrist trying to steal the basket.
“Oh, Clark, can’t you just leave me alone?” you plead.
He laughs like a kid. “I love when you do that.”
“What?”
“I don’t know, is it sarcasm? I don’t think that’s apt. Whatever it is, when you act like that? You’re really convincing. It’s funny.”
“I can be funny.”
“I know, that’s what I’m saying. You’re really funny. Can you do it some more?”
“Now it’s not natural, though.”
“Please?”
“Leave it alone, Clark. You’re such a beg.”
He laughs again. It peters off to a quiet you’d like to live in. His takeout bag rustles, your picnic basket rattles, his fingers brushing the back of your arm as he follows you down the street to the wooded path.
There’s a small park not far from your apartment that’s been divided into two halves. The playground for the neighbourhood kids, and the picnic tables made of strangely shaped wood. They’re all rounded. One table is shaped like an ‘S’. Another like a filled in ‘8’.
You sit at the one furthest from the playground, coincidentally shaped like a ‘C’. “For Clark,” you say, pleased.
“Adorable.”
You set up your plates, dividing up the food squarely. Clark had the wherewithal to bring two cans of soda and a big bottle of water. He asks which one you want, cracking it open accordingly. “Gonna pour it into my mouth, too?” you tease.
“Do you not want me to be nice to you?”
And the night slips away. You eat your takeout at the picnic table and linger until your legs are numb. The grass around the park is damp, but you sit, and you shoot the breeze until the sun starts to go down. It must be hours out there together.
Clark takes his jacket off and spreads it over your shoulders. “This is your only bad trait,” he says happily. “You never tell me when you’re cold.”
“I’m not that cold.”
“Sure you’re not. Look, come here,” —he pulls you bodily into his side, his voice turning silky as angora— “you act like you’re such a plague, like– I don’t know, like I wouldn’t wanna know that you’re cold.”
“I don’t act like that.”
“You do. You could rely on me for more, you know? I want you to lean on me.”
You lean on him.
Clark presses his nose to your temple, his glasses digging into your skin.
And you think, I know you.
But you don’t know why.
—
Clark can't believe this is happening again.
He woke up this morning with a scary yet firm plan: he’s going to get himself together, pluck up what he has in the way of courage, and be honest with you about Superman. If only so he can stop lying to you. He should’ve told you months ago that he was Superman. Hell, he might’ve told you from the moment he met you, that’s how sure he was that he’d love you. As a friend —his best friend, half of his life. There’s this ease, like he’s known you for far longer than he truly has, like he could know you for the rest of his life.
And lately.
Oh, lately. Clark can’t get a handle on things. He hadn’t realised he was falling in love with you, isn’t even sure that’s the way to describe it; far from a sharp plummet downward into love, this has felt like a slow and steady ascent, but now suddenly he’s at the mountain top and the air is thin, and he’s looking for you, aching for relief, and you’re sitting in the snow with your book and your shy smile, cross-legged, just waiting for him to get there and open his cowardly mouth.
Or that’s what he’d like to think.
Fact of the matter is, Clark would like to kiss you. Hold your hand, have your head rest on his shoulder. He’d like to pull you into his lap and squeeze. Clark could die happy if he got just one shot at it, no matter the outcome.
He knows he won’t lose you, but he’s worried you don’t want what he wants. He’s gotten so close to having you, he’s not sure he can take being any further apart than this.
Clark takes the tramline to the rich part of the city with the best florist. There are buckets and buckets of flowers; orange tiger lilies and white orchids turned green in the sun; roses as big as his fist, unfurling; sweet peas kissing pinkest camellias all tangled up with baby’s breath. He chooses the sweet peas. They really are sweet, their hemmed edge petals curling in and nearly blue. They’re beautiful. He can see them in a glass on your nightstand by tonight if he’s lucky.
It’s on the walk to your apartment (tramline too busy to risk, lest your flowers get hurt) that the trouble begins.
The light goes out.
It doesn’t make logical sense. He’s outdoors. It’s the early morning, the sun should be shining for hours to come.
He looks up and finds a singular dark rectangle over Earth.
It blots out everything, disapears the clouds, turns the blue sweetpeas in his hand a tired shade of grey.
Clark wonders if he should’ve told you how he felt when he had the chance. Then, he leaves his glasses, his jacket, and his sweetpeas in the hedgerow at the park with alphabet picnic tables and throws himself upwards into the sky.
—
What emerges from the spaceship (and it is a spaceship, made of an element humans aren’t want to touch) are creatures shaped like spinning asterisks, wisps of their angel-white bodies bending the shadows they’ve cast down onto Metropolis. It’s like smoke.
The dark makes it hard to breathe.
You sit huddled in your bedroom looking out through the window, despite a desperate urge to hide somewhere further inward. Sirens echo throughout otherwise quiet streets, discordant wailing that wavers for long, sharp minutes. There had been screaming and crying and the splintering sounds of glass. It’s not —not unseeable, out there, but anyone with poor vision will find themselves stranded.
You open your phone. Your theory is that the aliens have been able to dampen sound as well as sun, leaving the battlefield dangerously quiet. Clark’s not answering your texts because he never has his phone, but you’re sure he’s out there somewhere. He told you he was coming. The last message he sent this morning blinks at you from the bottom of your screen: Coming by soon if you’re not busy, do you want me to bring breakfast?
You’d said, just some eggs please if you want eggs
You’d said, hey, are you safe? What’s with the dark?
You’d said, clark please text me back right now, I’m freaking out, do you need me to come get you?
He won’t answer the phone. Outside, up in the sky where it’s darker still and the white shadows have begun to ripple, the occasional red beam of heat slices into whiteness, turning it to shadows again. There are two sets of red if you watch carefully. Green light flickers at the ground.
And Clark Kent is out there all alone.
You crawl to your shoes under the bed and put them on, pajamas and all. Clark’s blue hoodie lays on the back of your deskchair. You shrug it on.
He’s gonna lose his entire mind if you do find him out there. Can friends ground you? Because Clark’s going to ground you. But you’d rather be grounded than all alone.
—
Superman groans into the floor, his tongue coated in dust.
He has far better vision than a person feasibly needs. He wore a pair of glasses once that are supposed to approximate what it’s like to have legal blindness, and he’d felt suddenly, achingly sorry for the human race. But then he’d found the glasses stand beside it with all their different prescriptions and shrugged it off. Humans are brilliant. He’s in awe of their persistence, their resilience, and their strength. He knows he can find it in himself to go on because they can, too.
He has better vision, and still he finds himself batted away from the entities like a bothersome fruit fly.
“Krypto?” he asks into the smog.
His borrowed dog flies at him with impressive speed, pressing his snout straight into a bruise.
“Ow!”
Krypto snuffles and hits at his arms with both paws.
“Krypto, stop! Jeez, stop. You’re such a pai– Ow! Get off.”
Krypto nibbles his shoulder.
Clark forces himself to sit up. At least he hasn’t killed the dog. Kara would probably eviscerate the planet country by country if something happened to her dog, not mentioning the aliens that started this whole thing. And he is good at bringing the suit when Clark needs it.
He rubs at his eyes and drags himself to his feet, back aching, eyes like sand. Nothing is healing because he can’t feel the sun, but he’s not too hurt. He can take a bad landing. He can take twenty of them.
“Krypto, stay.”
Krypto tilts his white blurry head.
“You’re not helping.”
Arf! Clark rolls his shoulders and shoots back into the air.
Krypto stays down, for now.
Clark takes a lap through the air, searching for signs of life with his ears. The eery quiet is beginning to fill with catastrophe.
“Clark?”
He stops dead in the sky.
“Clark?” you call, ten miles below him, shouting all clipped and scared. “Clark Kent! Are you out here? If you can hear me, call back to me!”
He says your name.
“Clark? I’m here!”
Clark looks up into melted-sugar shadows as they begin to curdle and makes a choice. Damn the aliens, they can have the sky, so long as Clark gets to keep you safe.
He has to keep you safe.
—
You’re watching a shadow plummet toward you when the sky opens up into shards of Technicolor. Concentrated around a single point of red and blue and moving so fast it turns puce.
—
There’s a scene in The Ocean where the main character realises his father has been dead before the beginning of the book. Dead for years. He goes searching for him because he’s scared to be alone, brave enough to realise it, and young enough to misunderstand the danger of the world. He treks sandbanks, ferries favour, turns in promises and follows the footsteps of a man long dead across the world. Clark told you once, privately, quietly, in a moment that immediately panicked him, that his parents had adopted him, and that his birth parents had left him with a letter after they both died.
What did it say? you’d asked.
To be good.
You find your copy of The Ocean cradled in familiar hands. You recognise its secondhand cover, the bends in the front where a previous owner had tented it for a long period of time. The spine is loose and lax with age. The pages are yellow with time.
Clark is sleeping quietly in the plastic-wrapped chair beside your bed. He doesn’t have a bruise or cut. He doesn’t look anything like Superman had as he’d flung himself at you, two seconds too late, his body a shield against an explosion that lit your body with fire and colour alike. The whole world had been red, and then yellow, and suitably blue. There was pain.
Not a darkness as people often say. Just hurting and now this.
You take a scary breath. Hitching and pained, you search for comfort and find none of it. There’s a needle in the back of your hand secured with a teddy bear wrapping. The sheets have been drawn to your chin and choke you as you try to sit.
After a moment of struggling, you sink back and try for another breath. Deep, aching breaths. You do it until your lungs burn, these awful, stringing breaths, eyes to the ceiling and fighting the spots of nothingness that cloud your vision.
“Hey,” a soft voice says, softer hand pressed to the curve of your neck. “Oh, hey, sweet girl, hey… it’s okay. The pain won’t last, they gave you a little more morphine a few minutes ago, it’ll kick in.”
“Uh–”
Clark makes a sound. “Oh.”
You let your eyes slide to him. He’s checking his wrist where it’s resting on you.
“I was sleeping for a long time, I… Honey, I’ll get a nurse.”
“No,” you breathe.
“Yeah, honey, I’ll get a nurse,” he repeats, stroking your neck with his thumb. His eyes are their usual calm blue, bearing down into your own with an emotion that’s somehow palpable and implacable. “It’s no good, you being in pain like this. I’ll come right back.”
“Clark, don’t go,” you whine.
It’s like the world has been placed heavy on your head.
Clark offers you relief. “I won’t go if you don’t want me to. Tell me what’s hurting, and I’ll fix it.”
You shake your head at him. Fuck, nothing hurts. It’s not pain you’re being smothered in.
“Okay,” he murmurs.
For a while, you don’t talk. Clark stays stooped over you, too tall and careful anyhow to stay out of your light. He holds your cheek, rubbing at skin with his thumb until it’s tickled into numbness, your body begging you to move away from his touch and your brain knowing you can’t. You’ll never duck away from his fingertips ever again.
Where he’d been unhurt, he isn’t unharried. His hair is in a complete disarray, curls in places pulled straight and greasy behind his ears. His face is pale. His eyes flicker obsessively between you and your monitor, as though he can decipher the information it displays. He must see something there that he trusts, sitting down again in the chair dragged quick and easy to the side of your bed. His hand stays at your face. He’s long. It’s simple work.
“You read The Ocean,” you whisper.
“I read all your annotations, too,” he tells you, turning his hand to run it down your cheek, his fingernails especially silky against the line of your jaw.
You turn your face toward his touch. Your eyes flutter closed as he indulges your deepest fantasy.
“I didn’t–” Oh, you can’t say it. You hadn’t meant to want him like this. You hadn’t known he was Superman, and isn’t that awful? Something cruel. Your best friend kept a worst secret.
He doesn’t rush you.
You’re ready to try again a few minutes later. His fingertips have started to draw a flower into your neck.
“I’m embarrassed that Clark knows what I said to Superman,” you say plainly.
“Superman didn’t tell Clark anything,” Clark says. His voice is light in contrast to your hesitancy.
“But you know it all.”
“I know you,” he agrees.
“I’m really… sorry. I’m sorry, I–” You search for his touch and he immediately cups your cheek again. “Clark, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come out looking for you. I didn’t realise you could look after yourself and I made things worse.”
“Do you even remember?” he asks.
Mildly. You’d woken once before and found a less fixed Clark covered in blood above you. A part of you had understood that it was Clark, even without his glasses, and a different part knew it was Superman. Then things had blurred, half-replaced by a memory of his hand behind your back in the middle of a meadow halfway across the world, that beautiful quiet valley where the water had been ice and the grass emerald velveteen under your legs.
In the dream, Superman (and this had been real until it wasn’t), turned to you, and said, with Clark’s dorky intonation, “That’s seriously beautiful, huh?”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But–”
“You don’t. I won’t argue about it with you. You have no apologies to make, you did everything right and nothing wrong, and I lied to you, and I got you hurt, and…” He has the gall to pink in the cheeks, like you’ve taken the skin between your knuckles and pinched. “I wasn’t honest with you about my feelings. I almost kissed you as Superman, and that wasn’t fair.”
“You really are… him?” you ask weakly.
“Yeah, I am.”
Clark sits up as a doctor opens your room’s door.
“Everything okay?” she asks. When she sees you awake, she smiles broadly. “Hey, you’re up! Can we get you some dinner now?”
“You skipped breakfast,” Clark tells you.
“I was awake for breakfast?”
“Barely. We had you on some pretty gnarly painkillers,” the doctor says. She adjusts her white coat. “I just wanted to check in with your nurses and your lovely partner here that you hadn’t thrown up again.”
You flush. “I’m fine.”
Clark simply rubs your chest like a wave of his hand against your heart.
“I’m worried you haven’t gotten enough sustenance this past day, but we try not to hook you up with too many things,” the doctor explains, “much better for you to settle and then eat. And to drink some water!”
“I don’t feel very hungry.”
“The painkillers you’re on can make some people feel quite sick. But try your best, okay? I’ll come back after dinner to see what we can do about those broken fingers.”
You follow your arm down to your hand. Your pinky and ring finger on the non-dominant hand have been splinted but not casted.
“Oh.”
The doctor takes her leave, abandoning Clark to your questions.
“What’s wrong with me?” you ask.
“You got concussed again. It made you sick, and your hand is very nearly broken, but they think it’s just your fingers from the look of your x-rays. And you have a long cut.” He puts his hand on your stomach gently. “Here. Almost as long as your arm, but it’s a surface cut. You landed on debris. I’m sorry, my– honey. Sorry.”
You can’t fight the chills or your bewilderment. “What for?”
“I didn’t get to you fast enough.”
“Clark.” Your mouth is dry. He’s pretty. Your head goes round and round and aching and then with a dash of clarity, the world snaps back into place. Your hospital room is empty and bright, with a vase filled to bursting with sweetpeas in pride of place on your nightstand. There are voices drifting in from the hallway, and Clark is handsome even as he tears himself apart. The silver lining his bottom lashes doesn’t go unnoticed. “I’m okay, babe.”
He laughs wetly.
“I’m fine,” you promise, quieter now. “How couldn’t I be? You’re so gentle.”
Clark finds your hand, pulling it to his forehead, his body bending forward like a marionette on loosening strings. He shakes his head vehemently, his grip on your wrist tight but far from cruel.
“You’re gentle,” you promise under your breath, “I told you that before, didn’t I? You’re kind, and brave, and– it’s not your fault I went looking for you.”
“I should be comforting you. I should be helping you,” he whispers.
“You won’t catch me crying on your shoulder twice, Superman.”
His head flinches up, like he’s realising for the first time that you know who he is.
Whatever he sees in your face helps him to settle down. He curls long, thick fingers around your hand. You can’t help noting how adversely tender they feel while he holds your hand.
“What did you think of the book?” you ask finally.
“I didn’t know you liked to read,” he says.
You shrug. Let your head fall back into a thin pillow, wondering how you might go about getting a better one, and beginning to feel the effects of the painkillers they’d been talking about. “It’s not like it’s the most alarming secret, between us.”
He lets out a wounded whine. “Why do you hate me?” he asks.
“You’re due some hazing.”
“Can’t you take pity on me?” he asks.
You curl your fingers around his where they’d otherwise been limp. “I’m not really half as cool as I’m trying to act, Clark.”
He sulks beautifully. “I think you’re lying to make me feel better.”
Only a little.
—
Being cool around Clark Kent lasts about as long as the morphine does. The reality is this: Clark Kent —best friend extraordinaire, sweetheart farm boy who’s vetted all your worst ideas, held your hair back in the smallest toilet in Metropolis bar history after a too-happy happy hour, knows all your holey socks and questionable medical queries— is Superman.
And Superman?
He’d been courting you.
The word is antiquated and accurate. Superman had been cautiously courting you with his sparse visits, shy and brave at once, brash but remarkably put together. It is after you know the truth that you realise Clark had been not so secretly courting you simultaneously.
“Is that why you were bringing me dinner and stuff?” you ask, lured into the conversation by accident, now deeply curious.
“No. I did that stuff before I wanted you. It was hard to sort the feelings into boxes, like– platonically, I’ve loved you since you came into the office with your miserable laptop and– and romantically, I don’t know. I guess I didn’t realise until I tried to kiss you and you wouldn’t let me.”
“Sorry?”
“I tried to kiss you, and you thought it was a pity kiss.”
You hold him by the shoulder. “That was real?”
“Do you dream about it?” he asks knowingly.
“It was really going to be a kiss?”
He softens. Clark, big on your smaller couch, in his pajamas with his hair finally washed again and your hand in his lap, rests his shoulder into yours with a long-suffering sigh. “Best kiss of your life,” he promises.
“Prove it.”
“What?”
It’s been four days since the hospital and Clark is horrifically chaste. “Do you not want to kiss me?”
“You know I do.”
“So kiss me.”
He pinches your chin. “If you wanted a kiss, you could’ve just taken one,” he tells you, looking you straight in the eyes.
“From Superman?” you ask with a little scoff.
He moves his head from left to right. “From me,” he says.
There has been so much to tell him. So little space to hide from him. Lines of books you’d underlined for him, lines for Superman, for both of them. The guilty way you’d watched Clark Kent take off his shirt at the public pool in summer heat and the loop of Superman under your thumb as you’d fallen asleep scrolling SuperClub. You’ve been more honest with him than you’ve dared to be previously.
Clark has repaid you in kind.
Did you know, he’d confessed, when you were still grody from the hospital and he’d demanded you let him stay, that night, that everything I’m good at is because of the sun? I can function without it. I can store up the energy in my cells and I don’t need much to stretch it far, but without the yellow sun, I’m just like you?
How could I know that? you’d thought. Why are you telling me this? you’d asked instead.
I want you to know.
Clark loves the sun, you realise now. He turns his face up to it often, soaking it in silently. He gets this look whenever he stops to take it in. Perfect contentment. Trust, that it will make him feel better.
Clark tilts his chin against yours, nudging your face gently inward, giving you the shortest glimpse of that content stretched across a smile as it presses into yours.
You hyperventilate your way into an open-mouthed, gasping sort of thing, and find Clark a fiercer kisser than you could’ve imagined. All those daydreams about Superman saving you from another day copyediting your own messes, you’d never thought to picture the boy sitting at the desk across from you, how his hand might slide behind your neck like water. How he’d take the breath from your lips and offer his own in a shaky, wanting gasp.
Superman, breathless under your touch. No one would ever believe you.
“Did you want me to tell you how it ends?”
You break away from him, panting, vaguely confused. “Sorry?”
“The Ocean? You never finished it.”
“Oh. Maybe you can read it to me. You know, afterwards.”
Clark grins. “After,” he promises, leaning down for another kiss.
˚‧꒰ა ❤︎ ໒꒱‧˚
thank u Bec for proofreading ur brains are irreplaceable <3 and thank u everyone else for reading!
𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖙𝖍 𝖔𝖗 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖊 yeongyu x reader
↬ pairing: popular!yeonjun x reader x pervy!beomgyu
↬ genre: camp!au
↬ summary: as a dare you go out skinny dipping all alone, you hope nobody will come to embarrass you. but beomgyu has other plans in which yeonjun wants to stop him from doing.
↬ wc: 3,506
↬ warnings: pervy gyu, groping, kisses in various places, handj0b, oral s3x, unprotected s3x, double pen3tration, overstimulation
↬ a/n: i’m not sure how i feel abt this one. i don’t rlly like how it turned out😭. does anyone have any requests??? i’m not entirely sure what i wanna do next.
↬ date: march 15th, 2025
“lets play truth or dare!” chaewon says, you and your friends all sitting in a circle in one of the cabins.
“i swear we play this every night.” hanni whispered to you, following beside you.
you decided to sit down next to yeonjun, he was a very friendly student at your college. not to mention he was super popular and very handsome.
hanni sat down on your left side, the opposite side of yeonjun.
yeonjun gave a few side glances to you, not wanting to particularly eyeball you or anything. he just thought you looked cute in your pajamas.
beomgyu who was sitting across from you thought the same thing. except he was much more confident about staring at you.
beomgyu had always had a crush on you but he tried to keep it more subtle and playful. yeonjun knew he had feelings for you as well but didn’t want to ruin your friendship.
“i’ll start! heeseung, truth or dare?” sakura asked, staring towards him.
“uh… truth.” heeseung replied awkwardly, not really wanting to play but joining in just because everybody else was.
“what’s the last lie you told?” she said.
“…what i told the counseler earlier. that i’ve never left my cabin after hours.” heeseung shrugged. “i am right now, so.”
“boring.” beomgyu yawned.
“he’s been eyeing you this whole time.” hanni whispered the obvious to you. beomgyu wasn’t ever subtle about staring at you.
“do you have anything better to ask?” sakura glared over at beomgyu.
beomgyu immediately eyed yeonjun, who knew he was definitely going to be asked by beomgyu now.
“truth or dare yeonjun?” beomgyu asked, to no ones surprise.
“truth.” yeonjun said, leaning back with his arms holding him up as he sat on the cabin floor.
“have you ever had a crush on anyone in this room?” beomgyu smirked.
yeonjun swallowed hard, making sure to stay looking forward and definitely not glance at you since it would give away his feelings immediately.
“yes. i have.” yeonjun said, glaring at him since beomgyu definitely knew he had a crush on you. but its not like he didn’t have a crush on you either.
“ooohh!” jeongin cooed, making a little joke since he knew through beomgyu that yeonjun did in fact have a crush on you. hanni giggled.
“i’ll go next!” sunoo said next to jeongin.
“y/n.” he said. you immediately froze and looked up towards where sunoo was sitting, surprised. “truth or dare?” he asked.
“oh uh…” you didn’t want to look dumb in front of yeonjun, so you confidently said, “dare.”
“ahhh, you’re so brave y/n!” hanni, as your friend, hyped you up.
feeling impressed but also worried yeonjun stared at you in shock. sunoo always gave the craziest dares. he didn’t care. so that worried him a little bit.
“i dare you to go skinny dipping outside!” sunoo said.
your face turned red and you glanced towards yeonjun who also seemed to be a little flustered by just the thought of you doing that. beomgyu was smirking all the while.
hanni had her mouth covered in shock, not entirely sure if you were up to doing something as crazy as that or not.
“do it! do it!” chaewon encouraged.
“i- uhm…” you covered your face for a moment, in complete shock.
“you don’t have to do it if you don't want too, it’s just a dumb game.” sakura assured, smiling at you. “yeah, and that’s also insane.” hanni added.
“n-no it’s fine, i’ll do it.” you rolled your eyes, standing up off the cabin floors. “nobody comes with though right?” you ask.
“you’re really going to do it?!” hanni yelled, shocked.
“no, of course not.” sunoo says. “i’ll make sure of it.”
“how long do i have to stay out there for?” you ask.
“just like, twenty minutes or so...” sunoo replied.
“twenty minutes or s-! nevermind… i’ll be back soon then.” you rolled your eyes, sighing and leaving the cabin with a towel.
“g-good luck y/n! ” hanni yelled, still feeling stunned by your response.
“we’ll continue playing while your out there!” chaewon added, yelling from the cabin.
after walking away you turned around for a moment to make sure nobody was following you before you approached the nearby beach. you kicked off your slippers in the grass before getting to the sand.
it was quiet out, the only sounds were the waves from the beach and some crickets in the distance. and now the sound of you walking across the sand.
getting to the dock, you made your way to the farthest point across it. the very end of the dock. you placed your towel down right there where you could get to it fast when you got out, and slowly started to strip.
you started by pulling down your pajama pants before completely removing them and setting them aside. then you pulled the big plain white t-shirt you wore off.
“damn, i guess i’m really doing this.” you thought to yourself, before sighing and unclipping your bra. letting it fall onto the dock. after that you pulled down your underwear and set everything in front of the towel you had ready.
you thought it’d be better to quickly get in, since you were already naked you’d rather not spend more time standing on the dock like that.
you jumped off the end of the dock, splashing into the water. the water was almost up to your neck, just below your collarbones which made you feel kinda better.
swimming in place you noticed the moon shining in the distance. it was almost a full moon, a waning gibbous. it looked beautiful. especially the way it reflected off the dark waters.
you suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about choi yeonjun.
what did he think about you doing this? you’re not entirely sure why you wondered that, but it was a thought you had.
i guess you really wouldn’t know what his reaction would be to this unless he was actually here, in the water with you.
not you making yourself blush again, these silly little daydreams were going to kill you.
you shivered a bit, the water felt so cold during the night. you folded your arms as some sort of way to caress your own body through the heat.
all the sudden you heard someone on the dock, it was yeonjun in his swim trunks. you gasped and got even more flustered, turning entirely red as you tried covering yourself more. (although it wasn’t easy to see you in the dark waters)
“yeonjun?!” you yelled.
“y/n, i’m sorry for coming out here.” he said, “but beomgyu is trying to get to you and- he’s right there!” yeonjun yelled, crashing into the water.
you were frightened, and panicked as yeonjun stood in the water in front of you. fighting a swimming beomgyu in front of him. “beomgyu you pervert! i told you not too!”
“what the hell is going on?!” you yelled.
“beomgyu snuck out of the cabin so i followed him. i knew what he was up to when he got his swim trunks on so i got mine on as well to come and stop whatever he was going to be up too.” yeonjun glared at him.
“i’m not up to anything!” beomgyu said, “i just wanted to swim.”
“maybe in an alternate universe.” yeonjun sighed, pushing him back underwater.
you blushed, although you were extremely embarrassed right now, you were thankful that yeonjun had come to help. it felt so sweet of him.
you didn’t even realize how close yeonjun was to you until you were looking right up into his eyes. he awkwardly smiled at you, rubbing the back of his neck.
you both just stood there in front of each other for a moment. eyes yearning for something more, or some sort of move to happen.
“y/n?” yeonjun said, blushing.
he knew this was a terrible time to do this but he was growing impatient, and he wanted you to finally know now that you were alone with his only competition.
“what is it yeonjun?” you blushed. almost forgetting that beomgyu was swimming around nearby the two of you.
“would you punch me if i kissed you right now? i mean i know you’re… you know… but i just can’t hold back my feelings right now.” he said.
that was almost all you wanted to hear for you to lean upwards and kiss his plump lips. he kissed back, gently holding you from around your back.
you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck as you kissed. not even realizing your bare breasts would be against his chest in the water.
“you guys definitely forgot about me.” beomgyu swam beside the two of you.
you and yeonjun quickly pulled away, blushing like crazy.
“you promised yeonjun.” beomgyu glared at him.
you were confused, promised what?
yeonjun sighed, knowing he owed beomgyu for helping him to confess first. he looked at you reluctantly, not sure how you’d respond.
“so, beomgyu kinda helped me confess to you and… i kind of owe him so…” yeonjun felt ridiculous even saying this, he rolled his eyes. “he wants you to kiss him as well. but only if you’re okay with it.”
“sure.” you smiled, beomgyu always was super pretty. you didn’t feel wrong about having to kiss him.
beomgyu smiled at you as you swam towards him. he held your waist confidently, making your body shiver. he leaned down towards your face and you both kissed for a moment.
“i’m sorry y/n- i hope you really didn’t mind doing that.”
“i’m fine. i’ve always found both of you super attractive anyways…” you blushed.
your face was entirely red by now, swimming naked next to two attractive boys was the last thing you’d expect to happen tonight.
before you could say anything else, you felt yeonjun’s presence swim up behind you before snaking his arms around your waist. replacing beomgyu’s hands.
you blushed, not knowing what to say as you felt butterflies in your lower tummy.
“could i feel them…?” yeonjun asked, obviously referring to your breasts that weren’t far above where his hands were.
“y-yeah… of course.” you blushed, his hands moved slowly to your breasts as he gently squeezed them. making a small whimper escape your lips that made beomgyu smirk.
you already felt yeonjun’s hardness start to grow against your back and butt.
beomgyu pinched your nipples lightly, but it still made you let out a small moan.
“your voice is so pretty when you moan…” beomgyu said. yeonjun’s hands were still on your breasts from behind as beomgyu teased your nipples.
“mmh, gyu!” you whimpered as he teased your hardened nipples under the water. “quit teasing her.” yeonjun said.
“she likes it. you heard her moans.” beomgyu said, looking deep into your eyes.
you felt too flustered to speak, i mean what was their to say? he was definitely right. but still you wanted more.
“it’s too cold in here. let’s go to me and beomgyu’s cabin. sound alright with you y/n?” yeonjun asked.
you nodded and smiled. “i’d love to go with you guys…”
“to continue what we started.” beomgyu smirked, giving your nipples another squeeze that makes you whimper again before helping you out of the water.
“you’re body is beautiful…” yeonjun blushed, staring you up and down. he grabbed the towel quickly. “here, put this on while we get to the cabin. i’ll carry your clothes.”
“thank you yeonjun.” you smiled, and the three of you went to yeonjun and beomgyu’s cabin. once you got there yeonjun let you sit down on his bed.
beomgyu sat beside you, as yeonjun set your clothes down and then sat on the other side of you.
their boners we’re very noticeable, a huge tent in their swimming trunks. and they were both very big.
you slowly removed the towel from your body. yeonjun and beomgyu stared.
“wow… you’re body is so beautiful.” yeonjun blushed. “i could tell just by how you felt…” beomgyu said, placing his hand onto your breast.
you confidently felt both of their bulges through their swim trunks. both of them letting out a small groan in surprise.
“ah, y/n- fuck.” yeonjun said as you massaged his bulge.
you already knew you were super wet from all of this, and not just from the water either. you felt so good for them.
you pulled down beomgyu’s swim trunks, his size springing out from them and his cock resting gently against his stomach.
you did the same with yeonjun’s and started to give him a handjob as you got on your knees in front of beomgyu.
“oh, fuck.” beomgyu looked at you, yeonjun groaning softly next to you.
placing your mouth around the tip of beomgyu’s dick, you teased the tip with your tongue a bit.
“don’t tease me, y/n.” he said, grabbing a handful of your hair and pushing you down on his cock. you almost gagged from the sudden fullness in your throat.
taking his length he helped you suck as you continued to use your hand to stroke yeonjun’s dick.
“ah, baby.” yeonjun moaned, leaning backwards as you continued to stroke him. “mmh- i want you to fuck me!” you removed your mouth from beomgyu’s cock.
“someone’s needy.” beomgyu said, as yeonjun smiled at you. “i’ll fuck you first then.” he said, you moved positions so that you were on top of beomgyu but still in doggystyle so yeonjun had access to you from behind.
you were flustered as you placed your mouth on beomgyu’s tip again, going all the way down you started to choke on his big size again.
from behind you felt yeonjun as he got closer and started to rub his cock against your slick folds. you whimpered softly around beomgyu’s cock, only making him feel even better from the vibrations.
yeonjun continued to tease your pussy for a while before asking, “are you ready baby?”
“y-yes!” you said, already eagerly waiting. beomgyu made sure you were choking on his dick again as yeonjun pressed the tip of his cock against your entrance.
“m-mmh~!” you moaned as you sucked beomgyu off. he also thrusted his cock up into your mouth to make sure you were taking all of it good.
slowly yeonjun began to push deep inside of you. each inch inside your walls making you clench slightly.
“f-fuck…” yeonjun moaned, when he was completely inside you stayed still. making you whimper.
“y-you’re so tight, goddamn.” yeonjun gripped onto your ass cheeks to have something to hold onto.
“good girl.” beomgyu said as you continued to take it in your mouth and pussy.
“i-im gonna move now, shit…” yeonjun said, slowly his dick began to drag against your gummy walls, thrusting in and out.
“ah! fuck!” yeonjun cursed, moving at a slow but steady pace for now. making you whimper and tighten around him.
“you’re so hot.” beomgyu said, caressing your cheek down to your chin. “you take me so good.”
yeonjun started to move faster, making your walls clench more. beomgyu pulled out of your mouth slowly, resting his cock against your face as you moaned out loud non stop.
beomgyu then sat up, scooting towards yeonjun. “lay down so she can ride you.” beomgyu said, and yeonjun did so while keeping inside of you.
now on top of him with your legs spread but looking in beomgyu’s direction and not being able to see yeonjun’s face anymore, beomgyu started to rub your clit.
“g-gyu~ fuck!” you moaned out, riding yeonjun’s dick as he held onto your waist.
“gonna cum for us baby?” beomgyu teased, rubbing your clit at a fast pace. “fuck that’s hot.” yeonjun groaned.
“y-yes, gyu, jjun- dammit!” you yelled out, overwhelmed by the pleasure.
yeonjun used your waist to push you deeper onto his dick and start helping you ride him for when you were close enough to cum.
yeonjun being so deep pounding you and beomgyu rubbing your clit so quickly made the knot in your stomach tighten as you knew you were about to cum.
“i-i’m coming!!” you yelled out, it was taking everything in yeonjun’s power to not cum in you then and there.
“cum for us, babe.” beomgyu said, “fuck, yeah.” yeonjun added as he pounded into you.
you squeezed tighter around him before releasing, your cum dripping around his cock as you both moaned and panted in pure pleasure.
“mm, so good.” beomgyu said, removing his fingers from your swollen clit.
you turned around and fell down onto yeonjuns stomach, your breasts now against his bare chest. you panted softly.
behind you, beomgyu was rubbing his tip against your clit and folds. this made yeonjun become competitive.
“i’m gonna fuck you more, okay?” yeonjun asked you, and you nodded in response. “s-sure.” you said. yeonjun placed his cock against your entrance and quickly pushed himself inside again, making you moan.
“two can play at that game.” beomgyu smirked, “are you worried i might fuck her better or something?”
yeonjun continued to move, ignoring beomgyu. this definitely didn’t stop beomgyu because he pressed his tip against your entrance as yeonjun was already pounding inside you.
“a-ah~!” you moaned loudly, “i’ll make it fit, don’t worry baby.” beomgyu smirked, shoving himself deep inside you alongside yeonjun’s cock.
you moaned out even more, beomgyu letting out a loud groan of pleasure. your legs trembling slightly as beomgyu grabbed onto your ass.
“you couldn’t just wait your turn?” yeonjun continues to fuck you. beomgyu already going at a quicker pace than yeonjun is.
you were moaning like crazy, your eyes rolling back. you had never felt so stuffed before. it was crazy how they both were fucking in and out of you so good.
“fuck that.” beomgyu said, “mmh, you feel so good.” beomgyu continued to pound into you. balls slapping against your ass.
“damn it… y/n i’m close!” yeonjun continued to pound into you alongside beomgyu.
“m-me too…” beomgyu growled, only making you become even closer to orgasm as well.
“i-im gonna cum too!” you yelled. “ah!”
that was all yeonjun needed to hear for him to pound harder to make sure you came because of him. which you did start to cum just as yeonjun and beomgyu released their cum inside of you. shooting in multiple spirts of cum.
all of you moaning and panting equally. it was a mess. you felt so full, fuller than ever. and it was so warm inside of you.
after a minute or so of sitting there with both their cocks still inside you, beomgyu slowly pulled out. letting you sit up off of yeonjun’s cock as it fell onto his stomach. cum leaking from your abused hole.
“that was so good…” yeonjun said, catching his breath. you nodded, “m-mmh- yes.”
“we made a mess out of you.” beomgyu teased.
you sat upright, your legs feeling super sore. but beomgyu wasn’t done. he pushed you down onto the bed. in missionary with your legs spread and almost wrapping around him from surprise.
“g-gyu?” you blushed, and he smirked at you lustfully. “i need you more y/n. you’re pussy is so good. i need more of you.” he aligned himself with your entrance.
“a-ah~” you moaned out.
yeonjun sat on his knees next to you, his cock bulging up against your face.
beomgyu pushed inside you and you moaned out, yeonjun also pushing himself inside of your mouth. “mmh~” you went all the way down on it, choking on it.
beomgyu squeezed your thighs as he pounded in and out of you all of the sudden, making you gasp and moan and whimper underneath him.
“so sexy, take yeonjun’s dick while i fuck you.” beomgyu said, pounding even harder than before. making you squeeze around him, exactly what beomgyu wanted.
“ah~ fuck. y/n… i’m already getting close again, your mouth is so perfect~” yeonjun moaned, a sexy deep groan from beomgyu emerged as he pounded you aggressively.
beomgyu reached down to rub your clit again as he pounded you. yeonjuns dick twitching inside your mouth already.
“i’m gonna cum, fuck! take my cum y/n!” beomgyu yelled, groaning deeply.
“me too! ah!” yeonjun gasped, groaning as well.
you felt yeonjun’s cum flood down your throat as he pounded to the deepest point he could. beomgyu’s cum shooting deep inside you with every squirt of cum.
this automatically made you squirt with them, so you all came together.
after you all stayed in place panting for a moment, beomgyu slowly pulled out along with yeonjun. the two both collapsed on either side of you.
“that was the best.” beomgyu said, yeonjun nodding in agreement. “yeah…” he said, looking towards you. “what did you think y/n?”
“i-it was so good…” you were at a loss for words, all flustered and overstimulated. you laid there catching your breath.
“we’ll have to do it again sometime.” beomgyu smirked.
“y/n? are you in there?!” you heard hanni yell, knocking at the door of yeonjun and beomgyu’s cabin.
nothing, and i mean NOTHING, compares to joining a new fandom and reading through all the ____ x reader tags. it’s akin to opening gifts on christmas or recieving a package in the mail. actually, scratch that; it’s th equivalent of ascending to the heavens
If you were to ask ME id say arthur is a clingy drunk. Stumbles helplessly around camp like an idiot after a few moonshine bottles too many just to find himself in his lovers tent over and over again, ready for wet, open-mouthed kisses that were supposed to land on lips, not cheeks, and "Ahhh, I love you-"'s before he inevitably passes out and snores loud enough to keep the rest of camp from getting some shut eye.
arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan
arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan
i need him bad
arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan
arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan arthur morgan


