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One of the signs mama is in a good mood is the sight of stackable empty laundry baskets. It simply means mama had summited Mount Kinabaju that day!

I had not folded laundry for more than 7 days during recent school holidays. Imagine the hassle and trouble of digging up the big pile just to look for a tiny pair of socks.

There were 5 basketful of laundry and we tried our best avoiding the sight whenever we caught a glimpse of them. Just a sore to the eyes.

One day fathi came to me and said. Mama why don’t u fold one basket at a time. U don’t have to do it all at once. One basket, take a break. And fold another basket.

Haha that was exactly what I said to him when he dread doing so many pages of homework 😅 not expecting those words will be used against me.

I read so many times before that our words become our kids’ inner voice. And today is a testament for that.

And yes finally I summited Mount Kinabaju today, thanks to fathi 😁

#forkeepsakes #lestiforget

I saw F1 the movie with Amru the other day, during his long weekend break. It was my 3rd time watching 😅 the previous two were with different people. As usual watching technical movies like this is always fun with amru.

Mama do you know that..

1. Verstappen got his F1 license way before he got his real drivers license

2. If you ever blink during your F1 race you will lose 20 meters. Every blink will cost you 20meters visual loss.

3. See the tires aren’t ridged so they have maximum contact with the track.

Ok thank you Mr Encyclopedia 😆

While mama only taught how to pronounce Verstappen correctly. It pronounces feghshtapen.

#lestiforget #forkeepsakes

19 March 2025

Today marks Amru’s first monthversary of boarding school!

I didn’t realize it at first but when amru called just now he mentioned mama do you remember 1 month ago today was the first day I went to this school.

And then I was like ehh aah lah! Sooo how do you find the place. Is it like anything you had imagined before.

A: hmm ok lah, alhamdulillah.

M: how would u rate it?

A: hmm 7-8 kot. Out of 10.

Banyak la tuh 7-8/10. With boys you always have to say in figures.

I pray that your decision to go here will open up more doors for you. And that you’ll have fun learning, I know you will thrive in places like this.

reviverofislam

Fathi was hospitalised last week due to his asthma. It was the first time we do hospital stays without daddy.

Thankfully Amru agreed to stay with Fathi during the night, while mama had to be with Reem at home. And in the morning Amru went to school from the hospital to sit for his year end exam. May Allah bless you and answer all your prayers son 🥹

The boys enjoyed their 2-night “sleepover” albeit in the least expected place. Good food, too 😁

Life has been pretty mundane lately. A couple of months ago I took a course about becoming a green building index facilitator. It had 2 parts: MCQ and an oral presentation. We were divided into groups of 6 to work on a project. It was an intense month that I literally slept and woke up in front of the computer. But when it’s time for mcq test day, I messed up the date. I thought it was on Sunday. But it was on Saturday instead. Long story short, I failed my mcq. But I passed my presentation. I didn’t feel terrible to begin with as it was expected. But this one of my team mates really made my day, coming from a professional engineer. I felt worthy again.

Rare conversations always happen at the dining table.

A: mama, if I got accepted into Harvard, would you let me go?

M: Well do you want to go?

A: Yes

M: Then by all means just go. But first, study and get good grades lah kan

A: but you said grades don’t matter.

M: well they do if you want to compete with the rest of the world that applied into Harvard

Keeping here for memory sakes and to put into record. 10 years from now let’s hope and let’s see if Amru really got accepted into Harvard 😆 watch this space 😂

Picture: right when amru suddenly feels like being a vegan. He just ate a bowlful of green corals and lettuces

Education (tarbiyah) really starts at home. I’m so grateful to get to become my kids first school (madrasah)

Feel privileged to be involved in my kids quranic journey first hand. I witnessed progress in each of their milestones. I’m proud to become their ustazah. Semoga jadi pemberat amalku di akhirat nanti. I hope they will also teach their kids quran, just like what our parents did to us, just like we did (do) to them.

We talked about seerah too, and Islamic civilisations. I’m surprised we don’t need syllabus for this. Seerah is usually covered during bedtime. Since there no syllabus, some might have been left out. Islamic civilisation is covered during their scrolling my ig and saw some Muslim influencers talk about the current issues.

Earlier last year we bought them a globe from Costco. Boy were they excited to explore all the countries and continents. I mean they already did it when they were preschool but somehow they forgot about it and now doing it all over again but more thoroughly.

I am their science teacher too. We did explorations together, sought answers together, asked questions together. The world is our classroom, I never confined their learning to just mere sheets of workbooks.

I am their chitchatting buddies, I answer all their curious questions. We googled for answers for questions I’m not familiar about. We talk about everything under the sun.

I am their emotion coach. Although I may struggle with my emotions sometimes too, we coach each other too.

While this may sound like I am a too good mother, believe me when I say that this journey witnessed me falling and stumbling a lot of times too. The difference is I just get back up and do it all over again. And it’s all so worth it.

This journey, this path is hard. And I can certainly do hard things.

Fridays are the days yg fathi solat zohor sorg2 (kena baca kuat2 utk mama dengar) sbb amru solat kat sekolah sebab dia habis lambat. Glad to see his bacaan improving, surah2 makin banyak choice selain 3-qul. Practice really makes progress.

If at some point in life I feel belittled because of my choice to stay at home with my kids, at least I can take pride in raising my kids to feel ease at prayers. That I don’t have to scold or bribe them to pray, to read Quran or Iqra. That I draw clear boundaries what is right and what is not. All of this while being a gentle mother who validates her kids emotions and feelings. Hopefully they will grow up to be comfortable being practising Muslims anywhere. And not just practising, but also upholding Deen with pride. I hope I can be that mother.

Elon musk is not perfect. You can quote him, disagree with him, glorify him or vilify him. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore him. Because he changes things. He pushes human race forward.

So when Amru picks up this book the things I hope he’d learn off the book is grit and perseverance, dare to dream big and crazy, and not bothering of what other people say. Fly high Amru!

During the summer days, subuh comes early. During the peak hot days it’s at 330am. Nowadays the weather is starting to get less warm, and subuh comes at 430. Maghrib and isya starting to get earlier too.. the days are getting shorter. Fall is coming.

A couple of days ago Amru came to our room just right after azan subuh. He woke us up for solat 🥹 selalunya kitorg yg kejut dia subuh, so this rare moment I have to write down lah

A: mama daddy jom solat subuh. Dah azan.

M: thank u Amru sbb kejut. Bagusnya amru denga eh azan.

A: aah, memula Amru nak tido balik, tp bila azan tu cakap assolatu khairu minannaum, amru jd takut nak tido balik.

M: Amru tau ke maksud dia apa tu

A: tau, solat is better than sleeping. Mama yg ckp dulu kan.

Ah this warms my heart ❤️

For memory keepsakes.

Tonight before bedtime Amru came to my room and asked,

A: mama how’s the baligh process? What will happen first to me?

M: This is my favorite topic. I’m glad you ask me first Amru.

M: I also need to check balik from google. But I think, I think your physical body will change first. First maybe your voice. You will have a husky voice like Abg Luqman and Abg Iqbal. And then you will start to grow other body hair. Maybe you will grow your moustache. And beard. And then your legs and hands hair will grow thicker than usual. And also your armpit. Maybe some will have chest hair too. Around your genital too.

A: Ewww mama I can’t imagine there will be hair growing in that area too. How??

M: Yes but all the hairs won’t grow overnight. It will be in phases. And then kan you will start to have body odour. That’s where you have to put on deodorant, like mama and daddy always do. That’s why we always ask you to keep your body hygiene tiptop. Like brushing teeth, gargling, short nails.. because after your baligh phase, there will be a lot more to take care of. Your body odour, your body hairs.. on top of the usual care.

A: Ook and then what mama?

M: And then, along the way, your emotions will be like roller coaster too, maybe you’ll always have something that ticks you off, always have someone that annoys you, and maybe you’ll be aggressive too. Ok yg ni mama pun tak ingat lah.. but I always think teenagers have this rebellious attitude😂

A: Haa yeke mama? Takutnya if I will always end up hurting my family.

Then daddy pun keluar toilet. Takde lah Amru. Maybe tu symptoms utk girls je kot macam mama. Daddy dulu ok je. I was emotionally stable.

A: Phew. Ok problem solved 😂

M: And then, lepas awak dah baligh nanti, you are like an adult la kan. So all the things that you do will be your responsibility. Buat baik, dapat banyak pahala. Buat jahat, dah kene tanggung dosa sendiri. So awak pilih la nak jadi macamana nanti.

A: Haaa takutnya! Susahnya nak jd adult mama. Ok mama I’m going. I’m so glad we have this conversation.

M: Thank you Amru. We can have more conversations like this again if you want 😊

Huuu I have a preteen in the house. I wish I can raise a happy, healthy and emotionally stable children who can be beneficial to the ummah, Amin..

Fathi: Amru ni asik bagi order je kat fathi! Mcm fathi ni slave Amru. Padahal fathi slave Allah!

Picture: we went to the beach, and fathi forgot to bring his spare pants. And good thing daddy had extra boxer and made fathi wear it. Of kos mama had to pin the waist otherwise terlucut la 🙈.

Fathi: mama, nanti mama belajar lah tau bahasa korea masa fathi pegi sekolah. Guna buku fathi ni.

(Padahal dalam tu dia dah habis buat semua)

Fathi has been an angel today!

Well he always has but today is extra special that I need to write it here.

Firstly he woke up early and willingly to go shower first with first ask. I mean I don’t have to repeat my instruction and that’s already a wonder. And then I found out that he already prepared his shirts and pants on his bed; and towel already hung in the toilet; before he was asleep. Probably lepas subuh tadi n sebelum tidur balik because it’s too early. (Our subuh at 330am)

Strike 2: I was frying pancakes for breakfast but he decided he wanted to eat oatmeal instead this morning and off he went climbing the stool to reach for the oatmeal packets on the high shelf, so he can make his own.

Strike 3: He sorted his own lunchbox. He washed the bekas and wiped dry (he usually dreaded this part and asked mama to do for him) and took 2 pancakes and 1 karipap for his lunch at school. Don’t ask me if that’s enough because they are enough. The boys don’t like heavy meals to eat for lunch so I usually prepared something easy for the fingers.

Strike 4: While eating his oatmeal he even feed some to reem whom was wailing for her brother’s oatmeal.

Strike 5: And when everything is done he said, ok baru la boleh baca buku bila semua dah ready. And picked up the book he chose during our visit to the bookshop last week (photo above) Awww I think this is cutest. Because Amru has always been dreading to follow the morning routine properly. He would shower much later because he wants to read his book first and everything else gets dragged. And fathi was always nagging him to palli palli! I always told him bila dah ready semua baru la boleh baca buku. Which of course he replied, “mama don’t you like me reading books. It shouldn’t be the last thing to do”. This is why fathi said the above.

Before they were off to school I told fathi how pleasing I am to see him so autonomous this morning. I asked him can you be like this forever? To which he replied OK mama! This is so heartwarming. Considering how he is during his bad days….hmmmmm 😆😆

Something to add: while waiting for Amru to be ready, fathi and mama browsed thru my story feeds..and he found this reel.

F: Mama ni gambar apa?

M: Ohh ni gambar ayah die tgh jaga anak dia.

F: Lah kenapa jaga anak pun kena ambik gambar. Daddy selalu jaga kitorg mama tak pernah buat reel pun. Dah la dalam ni ayah dia bg tengok screen je memang la senang.

M: Kan? Maybe it’s too rare nowadays 😂😂

Btw this is the reel screenshot 👇

One evening after solat isya, fathi came into my room, looking in hurry as if he can’t contain his curiosity anymore, with all his serious frowns.

“Mama? Is Islam the truest religion? Mcmana mama tau religion yang lain2 tu salah?”

Mama: oh thank you fathi for asking. Mama suka fathi tanya soalan mcmni. This is my favorite question. Tapi sebelum tu nak mama nak tanya, mcmana fathi boleh rasa nak tanya tu?

Fathi: sebab fathi takut kalau kita salah mama. Kalau ada religion lain yg lagi betul.

Mama: Oo.. ok mama faham. So utk soalan fathi tu, yes! Islam is the truest religion. Mcmana mama tau? Sebab kita kan ada quran. Dalam quran translation tu, mama baca, memang ada cakap psl ni. (Dalam hati dah prepare je kalau soalan next dia, mcmana mama tau quran ni betul?)

Fathi: Oh ok mama. (Terus walks away and goes to his room. Not sure if my answer satiates his curiosity)

And suddenly Amru chipped in..

Amru: Mama, sebenarnya Amru pun pernah terfikir the same thing. Especially when I’m sad, betul ke islam ni..

Mama: Oo yeke. Ok macam mama ckp tadi lah. Kita kan ada quran kan. So kalau ada apa2 curiosity kita boleh je terus refer quran. Amru tau tak ada a few scientist yang study psl quran ni dia terus masuk islam. Sbb dalam quran ada Allah cerita kan tentang baby formation dlm womb org perempuan. Zaman dulu2 mana ada microscope ke apa utk study pasal ni. So bila dia baca dlm quran dah terangkan in detail sama mcm apa yg dia belajar kat university, terus dia amazed and rasa this book is not written by some people.

Amru: Ohh. Ok that makes sense. Betul lah kan mama. Dlm quran kan ada surah psl bees, ants.. ok thank you mama.

#mamaswinningmoments

Ok I think I’m gonna start this hashtag just so when I’m motherly down I have entries with this hashtag to look back and be grateful.

We were having our supper (just french fries and chicken wings) when Amru asked me

Amru: Mama, when is Mother’s Day?

Mama: everyday lah

Amru: You know what I mean..

Mama: ok i think maybe second Sunday of May/April kot. Nape Amru tanya

Amru: I’m just thinking that not everyone has a mom like you..

Mama: you mean you’re lucky? Or they’re lucky?

Amru: I’m the lucky one..

Mama: aww..so glad you feel this way. Nape amru rasa mcmtu?

Amru: ntah maybe some mothers don’t care about their children like you do

And the conversation went on…

I’m just grateful for the moment that Amru is feeling good about his mother😅

As for fathi.. I’m just proud that his random thoughts for today was something about seerah. I wonder how long has this been running on his mind😂

Fathi: Mama. Abu bakr jadi caliph 2 tahun je.

Mama: aah betul fathi. Lepas abu bakar sape jd caliph?

Fathi: Umar. Pastu Uthman pastu Ali

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it's a one-way street, still.