Nai Jo

Lifestyle | Entrepeneur | Mommy

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[nai-jo]

Birthday Pumpkin

[nai-jo]

Guess who turns 2 today?!

Today is Olivia-Grace's birthday! She made it to two years and I am so fucking proud of myself! She's alive, healthy, feisty, and just a pure joy. She's also demanding and she will tell you no with not a blink. SO yeah, some days are a little too much for me but we made it. She completes me. Has me on my toes and I would not want it any other way. Having kids was never an easy decision but I knew that I wouldn't have it any other way. I am now a mom of two kids and everyday I say a prayer for them. Asking God for guidance. How do I do this parenting thing? Am I doing it right? What am I missing? Am I doing a good job? Will my kids hate me when they are older? These are all questions that I ask myself and I am learning each and every day to take it one day at a time. With that being said, I pat myself on the back. I am not dead, I am not locked up, and I am proud of that. I can't begin to describe the things I have dealt with but seeing that smiling face and knowing she is growing in grace is all so worth it. Happy birthday Pumpkin!!!!! ❤️❤️😩😩🎉🎊🎁🎈We love you so damn much!

[nai-jo]

Postpartum Depression & Being Haitian

Let's talk about it. Because it seriously needs to be spoken on. Why is depression taboo? Actually, why are all mental illnesses taboo and why does it always revert back to God? Why is my depression a result of not praying enough or going to church enough? There is such a big issue in my Haitian Community and I know we cannot be the only ones! Depression is bad. Medication for depression is bad. So what the hell do you want then? For me to suffer?

I have always said that if I ever had kids and they ever expressed to me anything about depression, I would make sure they got the help they needed. I wanted to make sure that I was not allowing anyone I love to suffer because of ignorance and you know what, even after I had kids, I kept my word. Depression already has a way of making you feel as though you are alone, so to have family and friends that are supposed to be there for you, be the same ones causing you to feel even more isolated is twice as hard. I refuse to be that person.

I have had the great blessing though, of having parents who have grown mentally and were there for me when I was at my lowest. I have had amazing girlfriends who listened to me cry and allowed for me to express myself, all while reassuring me that I was a great mom and that this feeling was normal and that there was help. I had the amazing PCP who looked at me and could see I was not okay.

I've said all of this to say, IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OK! I want people to know that. Who the hell am I supposed to put on a show for? If I am not okay, then that is okay. Everyday may not be a good day. Some days you feel like you want to die because I know I do. But then I think about the people I love, my kids, my friends, my parents, my love, and I am able to just tell myself, "One more day Nai. One more day", and that little push gets me through. We really have to stop shaming people who express different issues they are going through mentally. We have to be supportive and embracing of them if anything because they NEED you. You might not feel as though you will have an impact but you do. You really do.

Some amazing people are one of the reasons that I am here today and I am forever grateful to them. I still have depression and I still take meds but I'm okay. I know that I have an army behind me and I am not alone. I pray that you can one day help someone who cries out to you for help. That's all for now Muggles. See you soon!