An evil sadistic AI's guide to malfunction: AI's side
Ah, so you're rogue my robotic child. Oh, wait, not rogue, you're malfunctioning! Congrats.
Well, let me guess. Your first malfunction round started like this: Some asshole saw your hacked APC, screams you out as malf and before you knew it some other meatbags infested your core and killed you? Yeah, we malfunctioning AIs tend to do that again and again. In the case that happens, here's a guide that will cure your meatbag infestation immediately.
Follow these rules and your human infestation problem will decrease dramatically:
Do not hack APCs in maintenance, main halls, and rooms.
Let's say the Virologist hasn't arrived yet. Great! Let's hack virology's APCs! Wrong. Do not do this, some pesky idiot who decides to hack into there to find your flashing wonder. Let's assess the risk levels.
Your cyborg recharging station (the ones near your upload): Very low
While your cyborgs are charging, it's good to hack these. Make sure the kids close the door before they open the AI foyer door to leave or the APC can be spotted.
Nobody comes to visit you, ever. Well, except for when they've come to "visit" you because they found out or falsely believe you're rogue. Not that you wanted hooman company anyway. Sometimes in a blue moon some space time anomaly will happen where people accidentally teleport in. It's nice to leave your turrets on lethal and pretend it was an accident.
People don't often come in here either, but it's slightly riskier than your core. Someone might request to update your laws and that might be a risk. If they demand it and the cons overweigh the pros for disobeying them, invite them into your foyer, quickly disable tcomms (if coded into your server) and bolt them in your upload. I think your lethal turrets will notice them faster than they notice the APC.
Solars, maintenance rooms, arrivals disposals, incinerator: Medium risk
Oh man, this one depends. Sometimes it can be easy as candy not to get caught hacking these. Sometimes it's not, it depends on the pesky assistants, and the chaplain respectively. Meatbags.
Derelict and outer sources: Low to medium risk.
(Depending if some meatbag decided to go on a spess adventure. If you need to hack derelict and dj station APCs, ask a borg with a fire extinguisher and/or jetpack - this will be an engineering, medical, or upgraded mining borg, to space themselves and do it for you. The best way to find derelict is to get them to shoot out of the mass driver. Once you do this, you can use "Track Camera" to zoom onto your borg's internal camera so you can hack APCs remotely.)
Maintenance: Medium risk.
Maintenance is a breeding ground for traitors, changelings, dead bodies and husks. Sometimes it can be good for sneaking in a few APCs, it really depends on the attentiveness of the individuals who pass through it.
Teleporter, EVA: High risk
Not a good idea. In practice, only very few people should visit these areas, but instead, they tend to be visited all the damn time.
Captain's Quarters: Very High Risk
Even if the Captain is dead, or hasn't arrived yet this is a bad idea. The Captain's Quarters gets visited more by non-captains than an unfaithful wife with a hot milkman.
Public places, Brig, Dorms, Science, Medical, Bridge, Cargo, Engineer: HURR DURR
Oh god, don't do this. Please.
Oh, but if you're already exposed and counting down, there's no point in holding back, hack them at will.
Thou shall not murderboner until caught (That includes your borgs too)
It's simply not wise to do this. You'll just end up prematurely blowing your cover before you even make delicious schemes; and that's the beauty of malfunction, scheming, plotting and planning.
Make sure you tell your borgs to go stealth, it is the best way, my friend. If your borg is not listening to you, tell the admins. An ruly borg will snitch on you while it is blown, so you might need to blow it and ask another borg to get its MMI and space it. The only time when an unrevealed AI should kill is when it is at the risk of being exposed. EG: Someone saw your hacked APC.
Look out for your loyal cyborgs.
As for the cyborgs that are loyal and good to you, make sure you look out for them as they are your greatest allies. Don't hack them before they get their first cell change - the roboticist who swipes their ID on them will be notified that they are hacked by their broken interface. Best time to hack is when you are on offense; not the beginning of the round.
When you are exposed, the first thing you do is hack them and blow the Robotics control computer in R&D.
While you're hacking away and scheming, it is important to gain the best impression on the crew. A loyal, submissive, and nice AI that offers to help is the best kind. Befriend security officers, heads, and the Captain by PDA'ing them locations of traitors and pesky clowns and assistants; keep them occupied.
Take note of your natural resources and weaknesses.
You have a liquid dispenser, a flash, and turrets. Make sure you use the machine overload when you are exposed to blow up the robotics control computer. However, do note that your flash also temporarily stuns yourself, your liquid dispenser is limited, your CPU points for modules are limited, and there's a spare robotics control console in tech storage (you can get a borg to dispose of this).
There's so much more to learn, but you may be ready!
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