also this should go without saying but ace discourse is not “ace hate” or “ace discrimination”
homophobic, transphobic, and racist hatred doesn’t look like people arguing over what communities oppressed people can participate in. It looks like people mocking, harassing, disenfranchising, and assaulting said oppressed people. Where they belong isn’t a point of contention - or if it is, it’s secondary to the true point of contention, which is what they are and whether or not they deserve to live or participate in society as a whole
hospitals are for injured people. Being turned away from a hospital because you’re not hurt isn’t an injury in itself. Likewise, being excluded from a community for people who experience a specific form of oppression doesn’t constitute oppression itself.
If seeing people simply argue over whether or not you belong in a community is enough to constitute psychological self harm, then consider that you might be insecure about your standing in the LGBT community because you don’t believe it yourself. It could be cognitive dissonance. If it’s really that bad, please try reconsidering your stance. It could be good for you