storm in a teacup

Please never call me Deborah. It's Dizzy to everyone that matters. 22 year old migrant just trying to find her place in this wild world. North Carolinian by blood, everywhere else by heart

[robininno]

[coffee rush || ROZZY]

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

robininno:

Honestly, he would have thrown that question to himself. Why would he given her the chance? He had begged over and over again for her to listen to what he had to say, but she always turned him down out of anger– anger that was warranted, but directed towards the wrong person. He had every right to turn the other cheek and leave the cafe without a single word to the Domme. Nonetheless, he followed her direction, sitting down across from her. 

Anyone even just a foot away would feel the tension between the two of them. Robin remained on guard, his brows furrowed, arms crossed with the coffee still tightly in hand, though that didn’t last because he was sure it would have crushed in his grip as the apology started. Robin leaned forward, eyes narrowed as though in disgust. “I was thrown in prison. I really don’t doubt that you can’t imagine how that made me feel,” he hissed. Yes, being put away for the alleged crime didn’t help his case in the beginning, but it still showed his argument from the beginning, how Lola got away with it all because she was a trusted Domme. It stung that at the time, Dizzy seemed to feel the same.

The coldness in Robin’s response made Dizzy flinch; it was as though he had been waiting for a moment to say those words to her and now he finally had his shot. Or at least that’s how Dizzy interpreted it, guilt filling her eyes in form of tears.

“That’s fair,” she murmured, avoiding his glance. “I mean, your anger, it’s fair. I should have been there for you and I wasn’t. I put someone else before you and that was a really shitty thing for me to do.” Her voice wavered a bit as she tried to regain her confidence, but she found it to be an overwhelmingly challenging feat.

“I know I can’t change anything now. I know I can’t go back and change the way I handled things, and I know you probably won’t care when I tell you I wish that I could. I wish I could go back and just change everything about how I reacted.”

[marcyandpeebles]

[robininno]

[coffee rush || ROZZY]

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

robininno:

He didn’t look up, thus his hair falling onto his face as he listened to Dizzy talk. What did she even want to talk about? Was she really going to bring up the past? Something that he did his best to push away? He really doubted that she was that desperate. 

Robin could have walked away, he knew that very well, but something made him pull back. He stood up straight, his throat clearing. “You have thirty,” he finally responded, his tone holding more demand than it ever had before. He always saw himself as a meek Sub; he had been practically trained to be the perfect servant to any Domme who wanted to claim him. He had grown out of that. 

“Wait, really?” The shock caused Dizzy’s dark eyes to widen, hesitating before she smiled haphazardly. This was happening. She was finally going to have a shot to make amends for all of the shit she put Robin through. In what universe would this ever be a thing? Dizzy only imagined it maybe once or twice, an unlikely scenario playing out in her mind like it was on a movie reel. Now the moment was right in front of her, and she’d be a fool not to snatch it.

“Okay,” she said, clumsily falling into the nearest seat, motioning for Robin to sit across from her. “Please.”

“It feels sort of serendipitous that I’d run into you here,” Dizzy continued, once he sat in front of her, “and I know you don’t share the sentiment at all but I need to just say how sorry I am, for everything.” Blinking back tears, her gaze darted away from him and fell towards her fingers, folded in her lap.

Dizzy felt her voice begin to break slightly, never being one to have stable emotional conversations. Her view affixed upon his once more as she continued, “I should have trusted you when you said you had nothing to do with Lola. I should have taken your side, and I didn’t, because I was too blinded or too proud. It wasn’t the right thing for me to do, and when I look back on it I’m sort of sick to my stomach. I can’t imagine how I made you feel.”

[robininno]

[coffee rush || ROZZY]

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

robininno:

Shit, shit! 

With each step forward Dizzy took, the more tense Robin became. Every, single muscle in Robin’s body clenched as she closed in on him– he was very hyper-aware of how long his coffee was taking. Why did it take long to make coffee?! He wanted to turn the other direction, pretend like he hadn’t seen her, but she spoke, causing for Robin to wordlessly stare down at her. What could he say? ‘Yes, sure am’? Oddly enough, that didn’t seem to be enough. They hadn’t talked in ages and he had removed her from every social media he knew he still followed her on. What the hell was he to say?

“Yeah,” was all he said at first, body turning to face the counter right at the moment his drink was finally prepared. Maybe the coffee would be his saviour, something to anchor him down from the anger and bitterness he still held. He took the warm cup in his hands and was pretty much ready to go. He didn’t want to talk to Dizzy. Truthfully, he wanted nothing to do with her, but something told him that he wasn’t going to get that wish. 

One could say that his anger was silly, and part of him figured the same thing, but could he really be blamed? Yes, Dizzy’s trust was fragile, he knew that, but shouldn’t being her Sub be an exception? Yes, Lola was manipulative, she even manipulated him into thinking that she was harmless, completely hiding her true colors from everyone around her, so it wouldn’t be hard to make someone believe that she was taken advantage of. Still, the betrayal from Dizzy and Lola were too much for him to handle; it was a betrayal that opened his eyes to the true nature of the society he lived in. 

“Good seeing you,” he grumbled, unsure why he even bothered to say anything, just before he stepped forward, ready to walk away and head to his apartment.

“Wait,” the word fell out of Dizzy’s mouth without much thought, with more urgency than she had intended. “I mean, I get it if you want nothing to do with me now, and I probably don’t even deserve a second of your time but I was hoping we could talk for a minute?”

Nerves were getting the better of her, causing her face to match the fiery-red shade of her hair. Her posture didn’t exactly exude confidence, her shoulders were tense and she felt as though she could crawl into some sudden hole and just stay there for a while.

“My next set isn’t for another thirty,” she continued, mostly to fill the awkward silence that existed in the space between them.

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

[frameandfocus]

[robininno]

[coffee rush || ROZZY]

@naturaldisasterdizzy

The days seemed to have gotten longer at work, though Robin really didn’t mind. Innergreen Robotics was the only place he truly felt like something more than just a Sub, or at least not like a re-established Sub. They looked more at what he was able to do rather than what mark he was forced to wear on his wrist. Still, he often left the job exhausted and ready to take a five hour catnap. However, despite how tired he was, he decided to stop by a nearby coffee shop.

The cafe was a locally owned place, it was small and with a stereotypical hipster vibe. It was oddly comforting, and the moment he opened the door, the rich aroma of coffee awoke his senses and relaxing music hit his ears. A small smile replaced the tired expression he wore before as he stepped towards the counter. He ordered his drink and stepped aside. He noticed his foot lightly tap to the beat of the music, thus causing him to look up to see who was playing it.

Shit….

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

Colony was Dizzy’s perfect fit. The coffee, the smokers lingering outside by the back door, the conversations surrounding complexities of the Dom/Sub dichotomy, everything about the place made her feel like she was at home. Not in New Bern, but somewhere else, somewhere she actually felt as though she belonged.

Her musical presence attracted city regulars; fans and supporters, if she could even call them fans. They weren’t really, they were normal people just as she was, but people who enjoyed her music. Sometimes she’d venture out and perform original pieces, but more often than not she played covers. People appreciated things they already knew, things that were familiar. So tonight, she finished off her first set with something she already knew quite well, something of a guilty pleasure for her but a favorite of many that frequented the shop.

Her voice finished off the final chorus, fingers strumming lightly on her acoustic guitar. “Thank you,” she spoke into the microphone after a moderate applause; while customers returned to their normal conversations she’d been congratulated by a few people who were eager to greet her as she came off stage. Their faces familiar, she couldn’t place names to them at the moment, mostly because of the all too familiar face that she’d spotted closer to the shop’s entrance.

Robin was the thorn in her side that would never leave, but largely because she made him that thorn. She was the one who had dramatized their fallout to such an inane extent. She should have just believed him, if she loved him as much as she claimed, but Lola was good at brainwashing; she had wedged herself between Dizzy and Robin so neatly that Dizzy hadn’t realized that Robin was telling the truth.

Somewhere along the past two years Dizzy had admitted to herself that she was wrong, but Robin wanted nothing to do with her then, and probably nothing to do with her now. He’d been through so much -- losing his title, his domme, his friends -- and she wasn’t the least bit supportive. Of course he didn’t want to be associated with her anymore. All of her worst traits -- her hot-headedness, eccentricity, judgement -- came out when Lola had named herself Dizzy’s best friend.

She rested the guitar against the wall, stepping off the small stage and coming out of spotlight’s view. It was easier for her to blend in this way, but a part of her wanted so badly for Robin to notice her, wanted so badly for her to stand out.

Dizzy had never been one to think before she acted, so it just made sense for her to approach him, cautiously, of course, but it was what she felt was right for her, in that moment.

“I didn’t know you were still around here,” Dizzy greeted, smile nervous. Her inner dialogue began to berate her. Duh, why would you know that? He blocked you on pretty much all social media...

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

PM: Hi Dizzy.

Hey, Chloe, how are you?

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

I need to get my muse back.

[louisatcavendish-blog]

You play guitar? That’s awesome! I… can’t… obviously, but I still think that’s awesome. You could like… mash songs up together while your muse is all sucky, then maybe it’ll trigger it ito making your own?

Ohh, and miss Dizzy?

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

...That’s actually a brilliant idea. I’ve tried mashups before, but only a couple of times and that was like years ago anyway, so I’ll definitely give it a shot.

Yeah, what’s up?

[quinn-of-clubs]

Perhaps next time, Miss.  Should you recount, let me know.  What was your most recent one?

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

I would love that! I got a lotus on my neck a couple of months ago. It’s all healed now!

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

I need to get my muse back.

I haven’t picked up my guitar in weeks. Maybe I should channel my energy into making music instead of engaging in arguably self-destructive behaviors? Although let’s be real, I can’t give up cigarettes.

Look at me trying to be all accountable for my mental health or whatever. What’s up, Cav, how goes it?

[domdamienpresley-blog]

Someone literally chased me down two packed hallways today just to tell me that they liked my eyes. I’m not quite sure how to process this.

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

That’s...thoughtful, if not creepy.

[jxkepuckerman]

Ok so, I’m not saying I pay attention to these celebrity things ( because I don’t ), but Beyonce looked amazing last night. I mean she always looks great, but you catch my drift.

In other words, I’m looking at stuff I don’t usually pay attention to in order to get away from studying. How is everyone else doing?

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

I have a huge crush on her, even though our aesthetics seriously clash. If you deny the awesomeness that is Bey you are delusional, no matter who you are.

I’ve been better. Coming down from a bad drug trip isn’t really the way I’d like to spend my weekend, but you know. Carpe diem, or whatever.

[straycatbrittany]

All packed for tomorrow!

Now time for my morning run.

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

Good for you for getting out of here for a little while. Wish I could do the same. Where are you headed?

[void-haileerichards]

Someone really needs to fucking remind me why the hell I watch such depressing shit on Netflix. 

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

Does it make you feel better about your own life? Or do you just get off on the pain?

[irishsubx-blog]

I cannot wait until Summer.

[irishsubx-blog]

How was it like back in your hometown? I don’t think I ever asked and I’m sorry about that, I want to know everything about you Miss Dizzy!

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

Please don’t apologize, it’s totally fine. Home was ... eh. I mean ... growing up there was good, I guess, I have two sisters and my sub at the time was ... from there too. I had people there that I liked. But it was so conventional too, you know? To the point that it got boring and predictable. I was sort of a black sheep and I stuck out like a sore thumb.

What was home like for you?

[louisatcavendish-blog]

Bored and bored and bored and bored and kinda horny and bored and bored…

[naturaldisasterdizzy-blog]

I know the feeling.