a scheme beyond the grave

[naughtbutwits]

What I've learned about Valentine's Day so far:

everything is gradually replaced by a cheery pink and red version of itself

citizens of Midgard panic or despair preemptively for days

chocolates become a necessity (people have been hilariously notably desperate to obtain them at any cost)

on the day itself, a massive wave of “BE MY VALENTINE” escapes via dialogue, electronic messages, physical cards, and other creative but horrific methods

anyone who isn’t accepted as someone’s ‘Valentine’ is vulnerable and will likely be killed in the ensuing slaughter

a rain of arrows pierces the unprotected non-Valentines through their hearts, effectively incapacitating or killing them

And you continue to promote this holiday why, exactly?

[roskva]

….

That is not what happens in our universe, but given everything else I’ve heard about yours… do you have armor? 

[naughtbutwits]

I have a magpie, a dog, and a small witch-girl.

[naughtbutwits]

About Thor? No, unless I'm simply forgetting that I forgot. But to my knowledge, I haven't suffered any lapses in memory lately.

Good. Let's not change that.

Stick a note to your forehead, if you must.

[naughtbutwits]

-Shoves a big old box of chocolate at him.- Happy Valentines Day, Loki.

[ accepts it without suspicion at this point, since nothing from Jubilee could be worse than 'mildly strange'; he seems to mostly ignore the fact that she's actually intelligent ]

I'm still uncertain about the 'happy' part of it, but that's always in the greeting. What's happy about death-by-arrows?

[naughtbutwits]

lokiskywalker replied to your post: lokiskywalker replied to...

*note rewrites* “Most amusing, but I had wondered if you could guess my name. I apologize for the lack of clarity.”

You have a certain familiar cleverness to your words, and if I had to name you, that would lead me to skip the decision process because naturally your name could be nothing but some variation of 'Loki' if I believe you're that clever.

If I had to give your species a name, I would call you a note.

An indecisive note that can't decide which words to settle on.

A 'Mysterious but Clever Note of Indecision'.

[naughtbutwits]

Of course I remember him. Why would I not? Has something happened?

How recently did you start to remember?

Actually, different Sifs and different timelines-- did you ever forget?

[naughtbutwits]

And now I've found the perfect 'Valentine' offering for Thori as well.

[naughtbutwits]

Grounded? What do you mean that all of Asgard is grounded? And I was asking only for... Thor's benefit. I know that he would be quite upset if you got hurt... And, well, perhaps I was a little concerned. Though I don't know about "playing nice". It certainly varies depending on which Loki I'm talking to. There are quite a lot of you, you know.

[ the rest of that has lost relevance to him-- ]

You remember Thor?

[fireandfolly-deactivated2016021]

Do you mean you don’t have magic or you’re forbidden to use it?

[naughtbutwits]

A bit of both.

Any Loki is a skilled, clever magic user by nature, so obviously my existence requires some sort of magical relevance.

I’m sort of magically forbidden to use magic I don’t have, to make it simple but confusing. Power corrupts, like children’s card games or Jubilee’s blog on Saturdays.

[fireandfolly-deactivated2016021]

That would sound like an argument for preventing everyone from using magic, not just you. Assuming I understand what you’re saying.

[naughtbutwits]

You would think that, but apparently no one else has a previous life of destruction, deceit, and general mayhem hanging over their head like a wet ugly wig.

Who knew?

[iwatchedherfall-deactivated2013]

naughtbutwits:

Greetings, Kate. I’m Loki, but you can call me ‘Your Majesty’.

… Oh can I now?

[naughtbutwits]

Just thought I should offer. It's only polite, since you might not have heard that it's the appropriate way to address me.

[naughtbutwits]

I found a more appropriate Valentine's Day offering for Leah.

You can eat up to three small boys in one day!

And you won't even have to talk to them first.

[fireandfolly-deactivated2016021]

Do you mean you don’t have magic or you’re forbidden to use it?

[naughtbutwits]

A bit of both.

Any Loki is a skilled, clever magic user by nature, so obviously my existence requires some sort of magical relevance.

I'm sort of magically forbidden to use magic I don't have, to make it simple but confusing. Power corrupts, like children's card games or Jubilee's blog on Saturdays.

[naughtbutwits]

[naughtbutwits]

Aww, now I don't need to read it.

Kieron Gillen: Exiled Spoilers before I go:

Gillen: VOLSTAGG IS VERY FAT!

Gillen: THOR HAS A HAMMER!

Andy Lanning: The New Mutants are MUTANTS.

Lanning: And NEW!

Gillen: Loki is tricksy, Leah is snarky, and Thori is Bitey.

Gillen: And that's all. See you folks!

*****

By this point, Andy and myself were kinda wandering off.

[lilrenald]

[naughtbutwits]

What she doesn't know is that her straw is full of sedatives, so she'll be out like a light for the rest of the day.

... No, Leah isn't actually my 'Valentine', as those have still not been explained to me. I just enjoy the picture.

[fireandfolly-deactivated2016021]

Yes, although some people can do it far more easily than me. Can you travel between worlds?

[naughtbutwits]

I've got a few strict limits on things that are acceptable.

Hopping between worlds requires magic, so unless I just happen to be caught up in a crack between them (which has happened on multiple occasions), I'm pretty much stuck here.

[naughtbutwits]

What I've learned about Valentine's Day so far:

everything is gradually replaced by a cheery pink and red version of itself

citizens of Midgard panic or despair preemptively for days

chocolates become a necessity (people have been hilariously notably desperate to obtain them at any cost)

on the day itself, a massive wave of "BE MY VALENTINE" escapes via dialogue, electronic messages, physical cards, and other creative but horrific methods

anyone who isn't accepted as someone's 'Valentine' is vulnerable and will likely be killed in the ensuing slaughter

a rain of arrows pierces the unprotected non-Valentines through their hearts, effectively incapacitating or killing them

And you continue to promote this holiday why, exactly?

[fireandfolly-deactivated2016021]

I had to create a way in order to find Roskva. Sigyn helped, though, and it didn’t wind up quite where I meant it to go the first time.

[naughtbutwits]

That's all part of the fun, I suppose.

At least you discovered the technique in the process.