naxxyy

formally naxesus / 23 / tw: €d, $h / vent + spam / minors and f3tishists dni / pro recovery ♡

[naxxx-y]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤTW, my blog contains:

mentions of €d , mentions of $h , mentions of su1

block don't report!!

꩜⋆°✮ haii, i'm NAXYY !! any/pronouns ↯

ㅤ↳  23, 5'4/163cms, intp ‧₊˚⊹

•‥ pan/ace !! - single? !!ㅤxp

< likes :: aesthetics/cores . shows and movies . musicㅤ:3

⊂ autism/adhd ++ cptsd ++ heds ⊃

𖥻 pro-recovery . anti-enablers 𖦹°‧✮

ılıl . DNI - minors, f3tishists/nsfw, anti-recovery  ..•﹑

꩜⋆°✮ STATS !! ↯

ㅤ↳  cw 148 ,

ㅤㅤlw 108 , hw 164 ,

ㅤcgw 135 , ugw 98 ‧₊˚⊹

⊂ 1 . month clean ⊃

#naxissus = general tag , #naxjournal = vents,, yapping , #naxdiary = wl diary , #naxfirmations = personal wl affirmations

[naxxx-y]

there exists so much cruelty and evil within humanity sometimes i just can't cope

[naxxx-y]

i just really don't understand why i had to be ugly, autistic, physically disabled, a victim of sexual abuse, a victim of emotional abuse, a victim of parental abuse, fatherless, sex-repulsed, gender nonforming, adhd, cptsd, poor, chronic pain sufferer, afab queer and poc, AND have a binge eating disorder

life really said actually fuck you in particular

[naxxx-y]

im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it im going to do it it will be over it will be over it will be over it will be over it will be over

[naxxx-y]

148.5

i've lost 15 lbs

but why do i feel like i still look exactly the same

[naxxx-y]

i lost 6lbs in a week

idek what i did tbh, i've felt just as much like a fat fucking chud as usual

but yayy

[naxxx-y]

me when i'm doing okay but then my brain reminds me of the time i tried to flirt with my friend by hugging him around the waist and the first thing that came out of his mouth was "yeah you werent exaggerating you really are bad at hugging" so i might as well blow my head o

[naxxx-y]

i will get back to this.

[naxxx-y]

you're not hungry

you're dehydrated

drink water.

you're not hungry

you're bored

drink water.

you're not hungry

you're sad

drink water.

dont eat. drink. dont eat. drink. dont eat. drink. dont eat. drink. dont eat. drink. dont eat. drink.

[naxxx-y]

i'm having trouble restricting bcus i just want to kms but i don't want to die fat but i don't want to die so stressed out but being fat makes me so unhappy but so does not being able to eat and i'll be dead soon anyway so why does it matter but

[naxxx-y]

can't wait for the day my plan falls into place and i can finally make my mother regret everything

[naxxx-y]

you want to lose weight to make a boy like you

i want to lose weight so that i can do quadrobics around my house

we are not the same

[naxxx-y]

can anyone tell me why i can 🗑️ge on mcdonalds and still lose a pound

like i cant be mad at it but also

???

[naxxx-y]

cw: lowkey a little horny posting but mostly just lonely lesbian rambling

i came off of my birth control and i think my body is readjusting to the hormones.. TT

i just want a girlfriend who will wear a scent because she knows i like it

i just want a girlfriend who will learn the drop pop candy choreo with me

i just want a girlfriend who will be the ashe to my angela

i just want a girlfriend who will play with my fingers when we hold hands

i just want a girlfriend who will fall asleep on call while we watch youtube videos together

i just want a girlfriend who will send me virtual kisses after we've already said our goodnights

i just want a girlfriend who will talk to me no matter how quiet i get

i just want a girlfriend who will hold me so tight in her arms, as though my insides would spill for she let go

i just want a girlfriend who notices the quiver in my voice when she does something that i like

i just want a girlfriend who will let me play with her hair while we listen to our music

i just want a girlfriend who will make me laugh so much my face hurts

i just want a girlfriend who let me mark her, in places known to others and places only i can see

i just want a girlfriend that my cat loves

i just want a girlfriend who will send shivers across my skin with featherlight touches

i just want a girlfriend who gets so flustered by me that she loses her words

i just want a girlfriend who will match outfits profile pictures and video game characters with me

i just want a girlfriend who will jump into my arms and bury her face into my neck when startled

i just want a girlfriend who doesnt even have to try to get me all hot and bothered, but she does still try

i just want a girlfriend who will never make me feel ugly or fat

i just want a girlfriend who inspires me to draw

i just want a girlfriend who will kiss my tears away

i just want a girlfriend that i can be bold with

i just want a girlfriend who will text me while we're in the same room

i just want a girlfriend who will make me feel safe

is that too much to ask?

[jiraisora]

oh look! a touch starved jirai in desperate need of love, too bad they're scared of intimacy!

[naxxx-y]

cw: disordered eating mention

i'm officially not hungry anymore!!!!

literally all it took was two weeks of discipline to get rid of my 🗑️ge ed <3 /hyperbole but /srs!!!

[naxxx-y]

cw: disordered eating mention

my mom literally listens to me count the calories on my one singular meal of the day and watches me weigh myself everyday and has the nerve to say that I don't care about HER