A hand reached out, fingertips moving over blue sleeve and the woman could not help but pull away her arm a bit, brown eyes flitting to the side as stormy blues lingered upon her form. He had remained close, of course he had. Like m a g n e t s being pulled together. Neither one of them could deny the love they still shared for one another. They could not simply banish the years together, the love shared. But it did not do away with all that had happened from the moment HE had given up. The moment he had decided that perhaps it was better this way ( it hadn't been, for either of them ). Back on the ground, she had felt her heart burst, remembering that boy she had met six years ago. But he was no longer that boy, and she was no longer that girl.
" John, please... " came the quiet plea, her eyes finally landing upon his form, taking in the expression on his face, the way his eyes lingered on her for a second before he looked down, teeth grazing over his bottomlip. He had done her wrong, and he knew he had. There was no quick solution to the pain he had put her through. The things he had said to push her away. To make it stick. To deny both himself and her the love he felt for her. He had fucked up. For all the years stuck in space, this one good thing he had in his life he had messed up to the point of no return it almost seemed. And it terrified him.
" I know. " came the quiet reply, lips pulling up for a second, a shadow of a smirk before eyes fall to the ground. By all rights, they both understood that this was not the time, nor the place for it. Stuck between a war to reunite with the rest of their family. Four out of seven together, three still missing. It was safe to say that even he felt the absence of the little family created up in space. But in this moment, they had each other, didn't they? Trying to make it work, to understand that being in each other's vicinity didn't have to end with a verbal lashing out from him anymore, nor a bitter reply from her. Understanding still however that it was hard to be next to each other in such close proximity. Because more than anything did they want to feel the other's touch, but they shied away from it too. Knowing it was never that easy. That she had made a choice.
She couldn't go through that again. He couldn't let her go through that again, but he could make no promises on his own behaviour. On how he would spiral if ever were the case. His excuses felt flat on his tongue, drying out before he even had the chance to say them. Because there were no excuses to what he had put her through. The venom that festered inside of him, he had let touch her. The girl he had vowed to protect, he had been tearing apart. What could one possibly say to absolve all of that?
The silence that rang between the two of them made him anxious, made her shift a bit as she went through the plans for the coming war, her eyes focused once more upon that. And he wanted nothing but to hold her. To know they were still a team ( because in a sense, they were, they still worked miracles together ). " I'm not asking anything of you, Emori. I'm not asking for an answer to a question I never spoke outloud. I'm-- I'm not asking to be your boyfriend again, because I-- I know I fucked up. " he stammered, frustration welling up inside of him, causing his voice to raise for a second before he finally glanced to the side, ensuring attention wasn't drawn to them. " I'm just-- " Stormy hues flitted back to where she sat, landing on her face and--
He could get lost in those eyes... And she swore she could drown in his.
" Just what, John. " came the quiet reply, searching his face and letting her hands rest to her legs for a second. From all the arguements they had up in space. All the times she had walked out to prevent it from escalating even more. Up until the point where she had been so tired. Where her shoulders had sagged in defeat as she stared at the man she loved. Where tears had threatened to spill. After each arguement, they had came back together. Talked it out, promises of doing better. Only not that one time. And sometimes the break didn't happen in screams and shouts, but yet in the quiet whisper of defeat. And she couldn't fall back to that again...
" I don't want to go to war... Knowing there's a chance I might lose you... Knowing that there's-- That we... " he trailed off, a hand moving up to pluck at his earlobe for a second, eyes flitting to the side, avoiding her gaze. " That's were not... Atleast SLIGHTLY okay does... Does that make sense? " he finally breathed out, causing blue-clothed shoulders to slowly sag a bit, a soft sigh being given. Because she understood what he meant. She understood that fear he held. Despite the complications of their current relationship, she still cared for him, more deeply than she'd like to admit. And the thought of losing him...
A light shake of the head, a hand that finally reached up to touch a stubbled cheek. " We'll get through this war. " she finally spoke softly, thumb moving over his cheek once before she let her hand drop. " From that point on... After that... We-- "
Sentence spoken simultaneously, causing eyes to clash for a moment before a hesitant smile pulled at his lips. " Yes. " she agreed, allowing lips to curve upward for a second. " Yes we do. " Body shifted just slightly, making place for the other to sit aside her, instead of apart and a hand patted at the vacant spot. " Sit your ass down. You can help me prepare. " the comment is given with a light smirk, the other eager to take place and watch what she's doing.
" You sure I won't blow up anything? " came the usual quip of the male aside her, causing eyes to roll for a second, because it was such a JOHN thing to do and--
" I'll take my chances. "