some random stuff i’ve seen through ig, for roleplay purposes. hope everyone enjoys them!
“one kiss burns around six calories. do you want to workout with me?”
“i’ll marry a man/woman who knows how i take my tea, coffee and alcohol and knows when to make which.”
“i’m the friend that gives you lectures about life, but does everything wrong.”
“i hope all of the 3 people i actually like in the world are having a great day.”
“imagine how much shit you could avoid if you knew someone’s true intentions from the start.”
“being left on ‘read’ is SO annoying. at least tell me to fuck off.”
“i am pretty much 3% human and 97% stress.”
“my ‘GIVE A FUCK’ is still broken, but my ‘GO FUCK YOURSELF’ is fully functional.”
“you’ll be sad for a while and then you’ll stop giving a shit and it’s the best feeling ever.”
“have the confidence to walk the fuck away if you’re not happy.”
“sometimes i look at people and think.. really? that’s the sperm that won?”
“fuck everyone who makes you feel like you aren’t good enough.”
“i used to be so nice and sweet. now i’m just like, fuck you, fuck that, fuck everybody.”
“always remember that if you fall, i will pick you up. …after i finish laughing.”
“who can show up at your house unannounced and is always welcome?”
“the only thing that has been consistent this year is what the fuck.”
“i don’t know how to flirt, but if you want to argue, i’m here.”
“we wanted to be adults so bad. now look at us. just fucking look.”
“the next person to walk out of my life, i’m going with them. i’m sick of my shit too.”
“have you ever met the human version of a headache?”
“adulting is a soup and i’m a fork.”
“my life is just a series of WTF moments, separated by snacks.”
“cuddling and falling asleep together is probably the best feeling in a relationship.”
“fuck Netflix and chill. lets travel the world and make memories on different hotel balconies.”
“yeah sex is nice, but when you haven’t been held in months, sex isn’t what you miss the most.”
“nap dates should be a thing, like fuck going to a fancy dinner. bring snacks, get under the blanket and lets cuddle.”
“we need to spend a day naked in bed watching movies, eating fatty food and having sex 2 or 9 times.”
“i don’t even have mental health anymore. i’m just mental.”
“getting horny from making someone else horny is so much more fun.”
“i want to be the reason you love life and the reason you absolutely fucking love sex.”
“maybe you weren’t the one for me, but deep down, i wanted you to be.”
“how do i sleep at night knowing people don’t like me? with no underwear in case they want to kiss my ass.”
“no matter how hard and rough things get, i will never leave your side. we’re in this together.”
“i see you on the days you move mountains, i see you on the days you don’t get out of bed. whichever day it is today, you are beautiful, strong and brave. and i am here with you.”
