Public Enemy Number 1 through 10

[negaduck-official]

I just ate 10 burritos and I am paying the price.

But damn would I do it again. 

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

I’m not afraid of anything except for Taurus Bulba and dying in a car crash and also Walmart

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Walmart is very scary and it always smells kinda weird and the lights are way too bright and they hurt my eyes. One time I saw a Pokemon toy there but they don’t sell Pokemon merchandise so I don’t know where it came from. I think that basically proves that Walmart is the scary hell place

[negaduck-official]

AKA., The PERFECT evil lair. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

Google how do I remove cat ears and tail I’ve had them for a week and I can’t get rid of them

[magica-de-spell-official]

@negaduck-official​ Mark my fucking words one day I will steal your bones and consume them

[negaduck-official]

Does that count as vor- wait we went through this already didn’t we. 

[negaduck-official]

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒖𝒑  𝑩𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔

[negaduck-official]

Shit I hear I’ve been found dead in miami

[negaduck-official]

@magica-de-spell-official Magica Despell? More like Magica DeSMELL amirite. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

I will steal your fucking toes, don’t test me, Negacuck

[negaduck-official]

Why, you gotta toe fetish? That’s just weird, Magica. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

I have MANY weird fetishes, but toes aren’t one of them. Besides, you’re not one to judge me. I’m sure you’re into some weird shit too.

[negaduck-official]

I don’t know what you’re talking about, I am pure 100% vanilla goodness. No skeletons in THIS guy’s closet. 

[negaduck-official]

On a completely unrelated note, stay away from the closet. 

[negaduck-official]

@magica-de-spell-official Magica Despell? More like Magica DeSMELL amirite. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

I will steal your fucking toes, don’t test me, Negacuck

[negaduck-official]

Why, you gotta toe fetish? That’s just weird, Magica. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

I have MANY weird fetishes, but toes aren’t one of them. Besides, you’re not one to judge me. I’m sure you’re into some weird shit too.

[negaduck-official]

I don’t know what you’re talking about, I am pure 100% vanilla goodness. No skeletons in THIS guy’s closet. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

Me: I really wish people would stop shipping Madge and Mark together, it’s kinda weird since they’re essentially adoptive siblings in this canon.

The Monkey’s Paw:

[negaduck-official]

This is the worst. You’re all cancelled. 

[negaduck-official]

@magica-de-spell-official Magica Despell? More like Magica DeSMELL amirite. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

I will steal your fucking toes, don’t test me, Negacuck

[negaduck-official]

Why, you gotta toe fetish? That’s just weird, Magica. 

[negaduck-official]

@magica-de-spell-official Magica Despell? More like Magica DeSMELL amirite. 

[thunderlina]

AU where everything is the same but Negaduck uses this

[negaduck-official]

Now who says this is an AU. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

Scenario: you must either marry Rosolio or Negaduck. If you don’t, your raven thing dies. Who do you choose

Eugh, is there a third option where I die instead? I guess if I had to choose, I’d go with Negaduck. I mean both are pretty shit options, but Negaduck’s never attempted to brainwash me. I’d still rather die than marry him though.

[negaduck-official]

I hate everything about this. 

[magica-de-spell-official]

TRUST ME, I DO TOO.

[magica-de-spell-official]

Oh wait, I forgot! Ratface can’t be killed by normal means! Thank Circe! @negaduck-official Hypothetical wedding’s off, bitch!

[negaduck-official]

NO WEDDINGS OF ANY SORT. Even the hypothetical kind! 

[magica-de-spell-official]

Scenario: you must either marry Rosolio or Negaduck. If you don’t, your raven thing dies. Who do you choose

Eugh, is there a third option where I die instead? I guess if I had to choose, I’d go with Negaduck. I mean both are pretty shit options, but Negaduck’s never attempted to brainwash me. I’d still rather die than marry him though.

[negaduck-official]

I hate everything about this. 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

The time has come!

@gosalyn-mallard-official

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

The time for what? Is Walpurgisnacht comin’? I can take ‘er! Lemme at ‘er! (ง •̀_•́)ง

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

No though if she shows up you have my permission to take her out

No it’s time to journey forth to find your animal companion

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Animal companion?

…what about a pet rock? *pulls a rock with googly eyes out of her pocket* His name is Brock-a-lock!

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

He’s beautiful

If you feel he’s a worthy companion go for it

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, Brock-a-lock!

[negaduck-official]

I too demand an animal companion. 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

Okay

What animal do you feel connected to

[negaduck-official]

Uh.

Do guns count as animals? 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

Uhm sure

[negaduck-official]

So what now? Do I get a delightful pet gun? 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

That’s for you to decide

Your animal companion is yours to discover

[negaduck-official]

You mean I have to work for it? UUuuUugghh

[negaduck-official]

Why do you lick horses? Seems like a strange occupation.

Anon what are you smoking and can you share it with the rest of the class. 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

The time has come!

@gosalyn-mallard-official

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

The time for what? Is Walpurgisnacht comin’? I can take ‘er! Lemme at ‘er! (ง •̀_•́)ง

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

No though if she shows up you have my permission to take her out

No it’s time to journey forth to find your animal companion

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Animal companion?

…what about a pet rock? *pulls a rock with googly eyes out of her pocket* His name is Brock-a-lock!

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

He’s beautiful

If you feel he’s a worthy companion go for it

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, Brock-a-lock!

[negaduck-official]

I too demand an animal companion. 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

Okay

What animal do you feel connected to

[negaduck-official]

Uh.

Do guns count as animals? 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

Uhm sure

[negaduck-official]

So what now? Do I get a delightful pet gun? 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

The time has come!

@gosalyn-mallard-official

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

The time for what? Is Walpurgisnacht comin’? I can take ‘er! Lemme at ‘er! (ง •̀_•́)ง

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

No though if she shows up you have my permission to take her out

No it’s time to journey forth to find your animal companion

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Animal companion?

…what about a pet rock? *pulls a rock with googly eyes out of her pocket* His name is Brock-a-lock!

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

He’s beautiful

If you feel he’s a worthy companion go for it

[gosalyn-mallard-official]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, Brock-a-lock!

[negaduck-official]

I too demand an animal companion. 

[morgan-mcawber-officail]

Okay

What animal do you feel connected to

[negaduck-official]

Uh.

Do guns count as animals?