Neiliyo Sucks

Neiliyo is a man, like all men, of many skills. Unfortunately, being able to create quality music and being an upstanding human being are not among them. Using primarily posts gleaned from Neiliyo's very own site, we will periodically discuss what Neiliyo *is* good at: sucking. Feel free to say "sup" or provide any offerings at [email protected]. var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-11998274-1"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}

[neiliyo-sucks]

It’s like what I do on my blog: Show them what you like to wear—show them *you.*

(The man himself, via Neiliyo's A.V. Club interview.  A brief note: italics not available for Tumblr quotes, so asterisks signify emphasis found in the interview.  Don't wanna be a liar here.)

I couldn't have put it any better than the electro-bard Neiliyo does so here.  This is *precisely* why this blog exists!  Because to this solo electro-funktionnaire, sunglasses = personality and iPhone gimmicks = showmanship.  And that's not okay.

By the way, I had no idea about the iPhone thing.  Are you serious?  Like, furreal?  Way to totally retroactively date those awesome Vimeo videos you have of your bitchin' live shows.  Epic cringing in T-minus three years.

[neiliyo-sucks]

Neiliyo A.V. Club Interview!

Helllll yeaaaaaah!  Neiliyo gets interviewed (and dissed) in an absolutely excellent A.V. Club interview!  Check out the scoop here.

We'll get into some of the more choice quotes from this deliciously scrumptious back-and-forth sooner or later, but for now, revel in this moment with me.  It's beautiful seeing a more-ironic-than-thou boat shoe enthusiast getting his comeuppance.  It really is.

In the meantime, major, major props to Sean O'Neal for putting together an excellent piece.  You'll be hearing from us, Mr. O'Neal!

[neiliyo-sucks]

Don't really have a whole lot new to share over here.  After all, we've established that Neiliyo sucks a whole bunch, and in the past couple of months, he's just kept on truckin' down that Superhighway of Sucknitude.

All I wanted to mention is that we're currently ranked #4 for "neiliyo" on Google.  That means anyone who searches for our favorite electro-funktionaire will no doubt see our own site as well.  Congrats to the tireless staff over at Neiliyo Sucks!

[neiliyo-sucks]

(photo via The Daily Texan)

Check out this candid, open pose by our boi Neiliyo.  It's a pose that says, "Hey, gurl.  This is me.  I'm poppin' out over here.  If you wanna get slurmed up by me, stop on by.  I'll be waitin'.  Gurl.  *WINK*  Haha, alright."

More or less, anyway.

[neiliyo-sucks]

What kind of name is neiliyo anyway? It sounds like an aol screeenname for a 12 year old. Is that his real name? Originz plz.

(Chris)

Good question!  It *is* an impossibly juvenile name.  Anyone got any ideas?

[neiliyo-sucks]

Lil’ Wayne - Tha’ Doc is Hot! H H Hot!

(Neiliyo, in reference to some completely unremarkable documentary about Lil Wayne)

Again--just gonna let this one sit here and fester.  Okay fine I'll just point out that "H H Hot" is, like, willfully idiotic, almost as if Neiliyo is doing his damndest to wring any excess IQ from all parties involved.

[neiliyo-sucks]

Vapid.

(Me, under my breath.  Video courtesy of Neiliyo.)

Boy, does he really know how to "bring it" by spouting hip, bored, (dis)affected nonsense while sweating an unhealthy amount (protip: don't wear goddamn sweaters when you're gonna be "performing") and gesturing in a studied way.

BTW, don't worry--the link's nofollow.

[neiliyo-sucks]

I’ll be right around the way from this place when I play tomorrow - sorry it’s priv show :( ___hollr friends if you want to go out!

(via Neiliyo)

Code for "I'm listening to myself on my iPod tonight."  :(

[neiliyo-sucks]

Says young Neil: "A bit of a rude awakening at the starbucks bulletin board."

Awful!  He goes to Starbucks?!

[neiliyo-sucks]

Quoth Sir Neiliyo, of the Day-Glo Knights of Xeroxelectro: STUSSY x N.M.U. Stealth! CRED: honeyee.com

Ah, yes.  The world-famous Stussy x N.M.U. Stealth glasses, completely and utterly different from all the other sunglasses Neiliyo has blogged about before.  You see, the difference is in the, uh, well, like, the lenses are maybe a little lighter, and, erm, they're made of a different polymer compound than the others, perhaps?

Whatever.  They'd be better if, maybe, they need to be a bit bigger vertically?

[neiliyo-sucks]

this is more neiliyo than neiliyo

(via Gentry)

Debatable!  Can you out-Neiliyo Neiliyo himself?  It would be a tall task and would likely involve talking about yourself in the third person in a painfully flattering way a whole bunch.  This hat might (just might) be an integral part of the equation, as well.  What other resources and skills would you need to out-Neiliyo Neiliyo?  Will we ever know?  Is this one of those intractable questions science may never discover the answer to, like the purpose of dark matter?  Or will we one day figure this out, like when we realized what caused Toxic Shock Syndrome?

[neiliyo-sucks]

HEY YO CHECK OUT THIS WACK CHAIR

(via Beth, in reference to the content on Neiliyo's blog)

Yeah, you basically got the long and the short of it right there.

[neiliyo-sucks]

MUST GIVE A MISPRINT / SMJ SHOUTOUT TO THIS: http://neiliyo-sucks.tumblr.com/

(via http://blog.shitmyjorts.com/, courtesy of roundobject)

Welp!  It's something the kids can agree on.

[neiliyo-sucks]

Q: HEY Y'ALL HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE? (via @neiliyo)

A: Ooh ooh me!  I got the answer to this one.  You know you're getting somewhere when DA HATERZ come and bring DA HATE.  You're not a success until some guy starts making fun of you on Tumblr.  Am I right?  Is that it?!

[neiliyo-sucks]

"So yeah rice u was offff tha chain - here’s the best dressed award!"

Huh?  Is that even you, Neiliyo?  I'm not sure if it is--I'm used to two-thirds of your face being obscured by asinine shades.  Either way, I'm pretty sure if you wore that jacket to one of your shows and shimmied during one of your derivative jams you'd send audience members into seizures.  And no, not the funktified kind.  The bad kind, Neiliyo.  The bad kind, understand?

[neiliyo-sucks]

to his credit, if he took out "vegan snacks" and inserted beer, and dropped the first two sentences [sic], that would be a pretty kwl time. i think i would do that.

(via my friend Chris, in reference to Neiliyo's perfect day)

Yeah, I think we can all agree getting drunk on a boat with friends sounds like a pretty solid time.  The lame funktatious whitedogg posturing is what, I would imagine, most take issue with.

[neiliyo-sucks]

Mismo M/S Weekend Bag. Gotta put my gear in this. CRED: Selectism.com

Even walking cliches need somewhere to stash their swag.  Neiliyo's swag-stasher of choice, however, is particularly remarkable.  Why, you ask?  Well, this "Mismo M/S Weekend Bag" happens to contain more douchery than is present in an entire Izod catalog.  And it's just one item!  Truly worth blogging about.