For anyone having trouble getting your parents to let you sign up for GISHWHES, I have the solution! It’s Guaranteed* 100% effective! Just fill in the blanks on the letter below, forge my signature in blue pen (t looks like this):
and give it to your parents! They will definitely think it came from me*** and will have to let you participate!
(When you’re done, do me a favor and post a photo to social media of your parents reading the finished letter with the hashtag #MyParentsAreSuckers & #GISHWHES.)
Dear Parent(s) of _______________,
I’m writing this letter because ___________ recently told me how much they would love to join my scavenger hunt, GISHWHES, this summer. Now, I know what you’re thinking: What is this “GISHWHES” thing, anyway? (Kids these days find all kinds of questionable stuff on the Interwebs, after all.)
As a parent and a licensed*** parenting coach, I’m here to tell you all about GISHWHES and exactly why letting your progeny**** join GISHWHES is the best parenting decision you’ve made since you decided to potty train them (good call, by the way).
GISHWHES is “The Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen.” It’s a week-long global scavenger hunt that encourages participants from all over the world to engage in acts of art, creativity, silliness, and kindness in their homes and communities. But GISHWHES is so much more than a mere “scavenger hunt."
GISHWHES is a chance to step outside your comfort zone, redefining your perception of what’s possible and learning that you’re capable of more than you’ve ever imagined. It’s an event even NASA couldn’t resist being a part of.******
As an excellent parent, I know you want your child**** to flourish. You want them to discover that they are extraordinary and capable of making a difference in the world. You don’t want them to go passively through life— you want them to actively engage with the world and be excited about making their mark, like that time that you let them ________________________________ with no training wheels and they _____________________________________ all over the pet shop!
That’s GISHWHES.
With GISHWHES, your child**** will never forget the thrill of _______________________________ at the _________________________ while dressed as a _______________________ or the way they were able to _______________________ with only cotton candy, a harmonica, and dental floss.
Think of GISHWHES like a sending them to the world’s best summer camp— but without the hassle of having to pack! They can participate in GISHWHES from anywhere— even from the comfort of the basement where you’re keeping them locked up this summer (another good call).
Best of all (and don’t tell them I told you this), but you can use GISHWHES as a sneaky way to reconnect with your child.**** Anyone over 14 is welcome to join the Hunt— and that includes you. Countless families have told us that creating a GISHWHES team help them share amazing memories that they’ll cherish forever. You can participate as much or as little as you like, so it won’t interfere with other obligations and you don’t have to worry about expenses. Imagine the joy of watching them suffer through a whole week of family bonding with you!
Oh, and did I mention that the winning team gets to go on an all-expenses-paid adventure with me to Iceland? So, the two of you may win an extraordinary adventure with me. We’ll be going dog sledding on a glacier, partying in a volcano, and hanging out in hot springs. Seriously. It’s going to be awesome.
Finally, many of the items on the list will encourage your child* to contribute to their community through acts of kindness and charitable endeavors. A portion of GISHWHES proceeds help support charity, too, so you can feel great knowing that you’re giving your kid* something awesome that they want, reinforcing some great values, and making the world a better place- all at the same time. Talk about efficient!
And because they want it so badly, you can probably negotiate a few extra chores in exchange for letting them join. For instance, they’d totally be willing to take _____________________ out on _______________________ and ____________________ your car with _____________________. It just doesn’t get any better than this. So be a sneaky, clever parent and let them think you’re the coolest parent on the planet**** by letting ________________ join GISHWHES (and join with them)! You’ll never regret this incredibly sound decision. "Letting them” join GISHWHES is like tricking them into eating their vegetables by hiding them in their peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches. You’re giving them something awesome, which they don’t have to know that you know it’s good for them, too. It’ll be our little secret.
If you have any questions, please check out our website at www.gishwhes.com. I hope to hang out with you in Iceland soon!
Your friend and parenting coach,
Misha
*By “guaranteed effective,” i mean, “may possibly work.”
** Based on empirical evidence and clinical tests in which I forged my own name and showed it to my mom. She totally believed it was from me.
***Not actually licensed
****Who is over 14 years of age.
*****In some major metropolitan areas.
******No, really. We got a mountain on Mars named after GISHWHES in 2014!
*******aside from me, obviously.
