That is the least sexy word of all time, isn’t it? Maintenance sex. Maintenance spanking. It sucks the sexy out of everything it touches. Maintenance is for cars, as notnumbersix pointed out. And maybe HVAC systems. But not for sexy things…
And yet, relationship maintenance can be downright magical. It’s about taking time out of a busy life to look at your partner and say, “Oh right, that’s why I love you.” Because honestly, sometimes we forget. Work. Kids. Soul-crushing exhaustion. And when you are exhausted and have 700 other things on your mind, it is so easy to put your relationship off until tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next. Because your partner will be there. So you can just wait for that rare, magical day when the stars align and you aren’t exhausted and everything is just right. But how often does that happen?Â
Long-term relationships require maintenance. Anyone who says otherwise is either a damn liar or is doing maintenance without realizing it. Maintenance is the rebuilding of intimacy. It requires deep communication, in whatever way you find meaningful. I am a fan of meals where husband-wife conversation is possible and no one is putting marinara in their hair. But the most obvious way is sex. I have always been a big proponent of maintenance sex. When you drift apart, sex can pull you back together. Rather than waiting for the intimacy to spark the sex, you use the sex to spark the intimacy. Sometimes just doing it can work wonders.
For me, I also crave the intimacy that comes with spanking. A few weeks ago, my husband and I discussed having two small maintenance spankings each week: one on Friday and another on Sunday (usually 5 swats or so). We don’t call them maintenance spankings, but that’s what they are. I prefer to think of them as “hello” spankings and “I’ll miss you” spankings. When I first considered asking for them, I wondered how it would feel, knowing they were scheduled. It’s not the same as my husband spanking me because he spontaneously had an urge to do so. And I know it’s coming, so there’s no surprise.
But that is part of the magic: I know it’s coming. I can count on it to be there. Maybe not every time, but most times. Spanking has become important to me as an expression of our D/s—more than I ever thought it would. There is something about spanking that immediately makes me feel softer, calmer, and more his. Before the maintenance spankings, I was just aching for it all the time. But the dependability of it is absolutely magical. It is both exhilarating and comforting. This was only the third weekend since we discussed it, but it is amazing how much these two small spankings calm me and bring me closer to him. I think each one has been a little different. I’ve already written about one, but here’s a sampling of the others:Â
Laying in bed on a Friday night. Just holding each other and reconnecting. Then he whispers, “Have you been a good girl this week?” My ears perk up. I say yes but outline a couple of times I faltered on the rules. He strokes my hair for a minute, then says, “Lay over my lap.” My upper body is basically hanging off the bed, and I am working to maintain my balance while he spanks me. I secretly love the awkwardness of the position, relying more on him to hold me steady.Â
He comes home on Friday, and I am rambling about work stuff. He sits down and pulls me over his lap. “You are with your husband now. No more work.” Then he spanks me over my jeans. Hard. There is a self-assurance in these swats that feels new, and it is powerful.
Laying in bed snuggling. I feel like we are about to drift off to sleep. He leans over to kiss me. Soft and sweet. Then I feel him pull his hand off my back under the covers, then bring it down on my ass. A few more swats for good measure. He is holding me while spanking me, and I love it.
I feel like I am learning new things about him. Like, he seems to really enjoy the contrast between spanking and very light touches. He trails his fingertips along my back or thighs, then SMACK, then more light touches. Maybe it’s because we are new, or maybe he just likes the contrast of sensations, heightening my senses with light touches and then giving me the swat. Or maybe he likes to surprise me with the exact timing of his swats. Either way, it feels like he is with me, and I love it. I also see a greater confidence in him that goes beyond spanking. After he spanks me, I feel softer and more submissive. But I think he also feels more dominant. I love when we can sneak a spanking on Friday afternoon. For me, it sets the tone for the rest of the evening, from serving dinner to sitting at his feet with his hands on my neck. And then there are the knowing glances that almost make me blush…Â
The maintenance spankings never feel routine to me. With each one, he tries something a little different. A different position, different timing, over the jeans… They are all new sensations for me. I am not suggesting that there has to be something new every time. But I just don’t think any two spankings could feel exactly the same. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe maintenance does become, well, maintenance after a while. But I just don’t see it. There is a certain magic in knowing he will spank me. Even if it doesn’t happen every single time. That feeling of his hands on me and the stinging warmth in my ass… It feels like hello to me.
