still hurts :(

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@nhonrbs
still hurts :(
It's Monday, another day another pakikipag bakbakan ulit. grabe yung sugat dito <3
move forward
hiding
good in hiding man yan sya.
dead end
ang daming pwede kahulugan nito.
​Title: July 22, 2026 – The hardest breakdown of my life. Around 12 NN when I found out everything.
​It is a heartbreaking day to write this kind of letter. After more than 10 years in a secret relationship, I gave everything I could. Yes, there were many times we had misunderstandings, but we always made up.
​But this time, I feel like I’ve been shattered into pieces of glass. After all the loyalty I gave to that person, in the end, we were just not meant to be.
​Having them choose another person is the hardest part of this breakup. It feels like everything I built just collapsed in a matter of seconds.
​Loyalty, time, effort, finances, all the sacrifices I gave to this relationship have been broken.
​Naramdaman ko nang wala na siyang pakialam simula nung nagbago siya yung feeling na irritated siya at all times kahit sa simpleng bagay, at laging galit sa akin. Sobrang nakakalungkot ang nangyari sa akin. Iniwan niya lang ako sa ere habang humihingi ako ng sagot, kasi mas gugustuhin ko pang makuha 'yung sagot na 'yun kaysa iwan lang ako nang ganito.
​Pero wala. Wala siyang binanggit o kahit anong paramdam. Pinabayaan niya akong masaktan nang ganito.
​Hindi ko alam kung makakabalik pa ako sa dati, pero sana makabangon ako dahil sobrang naapektuhan ako. Sobrang sakit ng ginawa niya.
​Pero sana pagdumating ako sa move-on phase, mabasa ko ulit 'tong message ko sa sarili ko. Ngingiti na lang ako dahil minsan akong nagmahal at naramdaman, kahit papano, 'yung pagmamahal.
​Mahal kita, pero pakakawalan na kita.
​Sana mangitian ko 'to balang araw, itong mensahe ko para sa sarili ko.
​Sana makabangon ka. Sana mabilis 'yung maging recovery mo. Hayaan mo, hindi ka na ulit babalik sa ganito.
​Pasensya na sa sarili ko at natagalan ako, kahit alam ko naman nung una pa na walang kami sa future.
​Paalam na. Iiwan ko na 'tong kabanata ng buhay ko dito at sa oras na 'to. Gusto ko nang mapabilis 'yung oras para makita ko na 'yung sarili ko sa future. Maraming salamat sa oras.
Hi tumblr, ngayon lang ako mag popost dito kasi wala ako malipatan at mapag kwentuhan. hoping na di majudge. :)