Sunrise Lane (at Newburgh, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuRzRAzgoEt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18mfznb3qzf70
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almost home

if i look back, i am lost

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@nickmehedin
Sunrise Lane (at Newburgh, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BuRzRAzgoEt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18mfznb3qzf70
I’m a great valentine (at Little Italy, Manhattan) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt9QYawgScW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10mcsdppdey2i
My grandfathers funeral. I appreciate everyone who reached out while I vented my thoughts regarding my grandfathers passing. Making these images proved to be a complicated but ultimately cathartic experience. I’m grateful I was able to use this platform as a pseudo diary, maybe I’ll try it more often. (at Knight-Auchmoody Funeral Home) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtUXmX3AXlX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1q2kdlsz0zqhp
My grandparents funerals. My grandfathers passing marked the inevitable deterioration of my family. My extended family has been divided into two adversarial camps for as long as I can remember. Their relationships are steeped in pettiness, deep resentment, and hatred. With their parents gone and an estate to now fight over, the lengths they are willing to undercut one another is unbelievable. We have an inherent co-dependency with our family based on culture and primal instinct, but what happens when those relationships sour? In a time when everyone and everything is readily accessible at anytime, why fight for something that’s ultimately poisonous? (at Port Jervis, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtRoryinpVn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=rtnk4waodmyg
I’ve been privileged to experience death only a couple times in my immediate family. When I was making these pictures, I didn’t know if the act was insensitive or defensive. But, months later, these images have really helped me process my feelings around the passing of my last grandparent. So often we shy from negative feelings and seek escape, but growth comes from both sides of the spectrum. (at Port Jervis, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtMcAV8A2L-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hwdfc2uqn8mh
This was my most recent portrait of my grandfather. (at Port Jervis, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtJ1cHAgZ2I/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16ogpfmu0vmjt
My grandfather was somewhat of a muse to me. My first successful image was a portrait of him. That image won some high school awards and ultimately set me down the path of photography. I believe this is the best portrait I ever made of him back in 2015 (at Port Jervis, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtHcMvvgPAr/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mlojotubhnee
The last portrait I took of my grandpa, a couple days before he passed. Death is so taboo, but my grandfather lived to 93. He had a full and rich life and certainly didn’t fear death. He was a marine that fought at D-day, a conductor on the New Jersey Transit for 50 years, and up until the week of his passing, he was walked his chihuahua Charley several times daily. It’s surreal seeing the man who’s been a symbol of hard work, joy, and frankly, invincibility, deteriorate and slip further from consciousness. We all inevitably die and our fear of such should not cripple or burden us. Watching my grandfather pass so intimately was a reminder of that. I love you grandpa, thank you for everything. (at Port Jervis, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtFFp5Mgk1G/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1q4f7c75u4i96
The wallpaper of my grandparents house. Been the same for 60+ years. (at Port Jervis, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtCR3SngKrL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=pkol51rde41q
The aforementioned living room. Nothing here has changed since I was a child. I use to day dream out this window a lot https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs_imKqgAuL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bu4szy2czeqy
at Port Jervis, New York https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs1z9Dfga0J/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=189n3czpj2avj
America is destroying itself https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsv7QMGggmO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=81nypnh4244l
at Chinatown, Manhattan https://www.instagram.com/p/BsrCIGEAjIZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10y7q4ab6ypp7
Until Next Year. #newyorkstatefair (at The Great New York State Fair) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsqrWMIg144/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cfaju78oahtr
#newyorkstatefair (at The Great New York State Fair) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsqCLu9gPOa/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10drczqr1nmjc
#newyorkstatefair (at The Great New York State Fair) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsb0llvg7VH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=dma4epc7mukp