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[night-bird-calling-blog]

‎Merge Dragons!

‎Discover dragon legends, magic, quests, and a secret land of entertainment and mystery in the world of Merge Dragons! Here, you can combine

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: have you noticed that whenever people tell cheesy stories about going off the grid to find themselves, it always includes elements of feeling freedom from their appearance for the first time? not that they felt pretty or beautiful for the first time, but that for the first time, they didn’t care at all? when I lived on a farm, I didn’t care about how I looked. I washed my face and combed my hair, and nothing else mattered. nobody else cared either. we got along with each other, or we didn’t, but we worked together to get our work done, and we ate well, and we explored the world, and we were mostly happy.

similarly, people joke that hiking or camping or roadtrips “lowers the bar” of what we consider attractive. that after two months on the appalachian trail, suddenly you find people attractive even with messy hair, and no makeup, and when they smell a little funky. and you feel good about yourself even though you have messy hair, and no makeup, and you smell kind of funky.

we like to laugh at this phenomenon as if we’re all just a bunch of hippies forgetting what it’s like to be and look “normal” for a while, but I think what’s actually going on is very said because the truth is

we’re just realizing that when we escape media for a few months, a few weeks, a few days, when we’re not comparing ourselves to impossible images, when we’re not told we have to have this body, this face-shape, this color skin, no acne, no scars, straight teeth, shaved armpits, a “good” smile, the “right” clothes, the “correct” gender presentation,

suddenly, we feel good about ourselves. The truth is, we’re experiencing freedom from the pressures of what society deems “acceptable,” “pretty,” “attractive,” for the first time, and we can then realize how fucked up our modern idea of beauty has become.

it messes me up.

[magic-memester]

what a dandy crown 🌼🌻

[wolfy-gecko]

Anybody know how to do this? Im dumb an I dont know how

[jeep-truck]

Yeah can someone tell me how to make flower crowns I’ve always wanted to learn how

[patton-deserves-the-universe-de]

Oh I would love to make flower crowns and give them to all of my friends for pride month, if someone could tell me how!

[vangoghsmoonchild]

Have it, sweet people. I love you.

Btw, if you have questions tell me uwu

[patton-deserves-the-universe-de]

YOU ARE AN ANGEL THANK YOU

[szuddenly]

you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when im not talking

[tooiconic]

wow this is a fucking mood

[night-bird-calling-blog]

Oof I resemble that remark.

[hawt-me33]

Coming into a fandom late

[baxterdamus-deactivated20130513]

Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck

[valorious]

Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie

[leatherpatches-deactivated20150]

Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war. 

[fauxmoux]

Accuracy at its best

[street-of-mercy]

Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…

[my-reylo]

all of this shit…lol

[nerdsagainstfandomracism]

When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF

[not-so-secret-nerd]

When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead

[jupiter235]

This gets better every time I see it. 

[sageblackrose95]

@fuboos-mess

[inverted-mind-inc-sideblog-deac]

Being in a dead fandom…

[illogicalarchive]

Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one

[erilias]

The accuracy hurts.

[fanfic-yes-please]

Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.

[it-is-bugs]

When you’ve been fangirling long enough, you’ve experienced all of the above.

[sweetferalbaby]

Being in a fandom meant for kids.

[teaganvamp]

This just gets better..

[hamboj2]

@mi-kleos

[thatcrazysonicchick]

When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you

[knightofbloodcancer]

Fandom hell in general

[morathavictoria]

Yes.

[marvelanimelover]

This^^^ just… ALL OF THIS.

[stop-talking-babe-deactivated20]

Being in so many fandoms that you don’t even know what’s going on

[raise-cain-archived]

THIS IS THE SKULDUGGERY FUCKING PLEASANT FANDOM IN ONE POST!!

[crochanblackbeak]

Trying to recruit people to your fandom

[kateriverameliawolfe]

Annnnnnndddd it’s back

[ishipwhatiship247]

Being in a fandom which has so many antis

[ravenhilarious]

I’ve probably reblogged this before, but that was before these great additions.

[swanqueen-author]

Being in a fandom that actually works together

[commanderunhingedmongoose]

Why is this so true? All of it.

[pillowprincesslexa]

being in a fanbase but all your mutuals suddenly turn into Kpop blogs

[hangingfire]

I always enjoy it when a good post comes around again and has been improved by the reblogs like the years for a fine wine.

[priory-of-stars]

Being in a fandom when shit goes down and everyone has different opinions

[marianagmt]

When you are in a fandom and don’t care for others people opinion…..even if they are right…(believe me, I have met several of those)

[batbyte-alghul]

Being in a fandom you never meant to join

[tirnel-sutcliff-spears]

I love this. and it’s gotten better

[cartoonjessie]

After abandoning a fandom you’re still a little bit emotionally invested in….

[brit-is-bookish]

All of these are me. Lol

[thehikingastronomer]

Being in a fandom on Tumblr

[julietsemophase]

And it reached its epic conclusion

[isa-ghost]

I CHOKED ON FUNDIP

[van-arts]

HISTORY HAS BEEN ENGRAVED INTO THIS POST

[ahopefulmoon]

An adult shouldn’t act anxious in front of an anxious child.

We have to instill confidence in them.

Gori [Aggretsuko S02E03]

[night-bird-calling-blog]

I have high anxiety.....my son has anxiety....my false show of confidence doesn’t fool him. Because when your 8yr old grabs your hand before his surgery (tonsils no biggie) and says “I know you’re scared mom. I am too. But Mr. Ben (his therapist) said it would be ok and everything would be just fine.” “I know Bubba but sometimes my brain tries to trick me into thinking it’s not. Thank you for holding my hand it makes me feel better. Does it make you feel better?” “Yeah. I’m better now too.” Kids are observant as fuck....

[melvinzd]

Mind blown 😂

[eryn-n-g]

So pure and adorable

[b00bconnoisseur]

I watched this like 6 the times I never tire of his reaction

[podfixx]

Absolutely pure.  What a trick, what a reaction!

[night-bird-calling-blog]

I can’t get over how adorable this guy is.

[friendly-animals]

[night-bird-calling-blog]

I have a floof cat too his name is Plagg and he helps me sew.

[catchymemes]

[ironwoman359]

This is the greatest thing

[damn-shawty]

So wholesome,,,

[night-bird-calling-blog]

Casual Suicidal Tendencies

You know when you’re depression has gone on for so long that you just don’t expect it to ever go away? That feeling of meeting new people and trying to hide the fact that you really don’t care if you live or die? Living life in a dull grey haze never getting real joy. Never feeling true love. Never even feeling sad. Just blank and empty like a desert.

People see me and they see a mom smiling and semi put together probably a bit scattered and stressed but overall a happy young(ish) woman with so much to live for. That’s not true though. I smile yes but I don’t feel happiness. I love my children but I also feel they would be better off without me. I’m young (28) but I’ve lived 10lives of pain and suffering and I’ve been drained. I don’t really have interests even though I try to do things. I try to paint and draw. I try doing my makeup and looking nice. I try to take care of myself. All of this I try in vain because I know at the end of the day I’m still empty and dead inside.

I don’t care if I live or die so driving a van that may die on me or make me crash because it’s never fully repaired doesn’t phase me. But I don’t drive my kids in it if I can avoid it. Working in a kitchen daily but I’m never careful. I get burned all the time and I get cut from knives slipping. It’s pain but it’s good because I remember I’m alive and not in hell.

Currently my life isn’t terrible. I have a husband, though I don’t really love him anymore and I want to leave I stay because of my kids and my step kids. I have a job I’m off work when the kids aren’t in school and it decent pay so I’m not complaining. My mom is cancer free and finishing up treatment then she will go back home. I have good friends even if they live far away. I have amazing kids. A son who started working recently a daughter getting into cheer learning who she is and growing into a young woman before my eyes. Another son who is fighting with anxiety and adhd trying to figure out who he is and what he place is in the world. And my youngest girl full of fire and life. Something I hope she never loses as she grows and finds an unfair world.

I try to keep going day by day. Just one day more. Just one step farther. Just keep going in you haze. Fake it till you make it. Don’t let the darkness take over again. I try. But I’m losing. I feel it building; the apathy, the dullness, and the complete lack of emotion. It’s like a shadow over my shoulder leaning in and over me. Covering my eyes and mouth. creating a puppet. Because that’s what I am anymore. A puppet of casual suicidal tendencies.

[thealmightysystem]

Relatable DID/OSDD Things

scared scared scared scared scared SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED–

HAVE TO RUN AWAY WE HAVE TO RUN WE’RE NOT SAFE HERE WE HAVE TO RUN–

i literally could not care less

they’ll find us again, they’ll find us again, they’ll hunt us, they’ll hurt us, we can’t hide forever–

incredible feeling of doom and dread with no explanation

**makes a mistake** time to cut off all communication with everyone ever because i am only capable of hurting people

i feel fantastic! wait – nope, it’s gone

NIGHTMARES

**something completely irrelevant takes place** *TRIGGERED*

there is literally nothing wrong, why do i feel so terrified

You Did Something. You Fucking Did Something To Me. I Can’t Remember But I Know You Did. How Dare You Set Foot In Here

“you’re your own worst enemy” except it’s fucking true

can the children please stop screaming now it’s 3 AM. no i meant the children inside my head

did you hear that?? DID YOU HEAR THAT

please don’t raise your voice god please i’ms os orry i’m s rory p ease don t hur tm e i did nt me anit l ltike th a t

T a i n t e d 

**someone asks a question** **everyone has to fucking answer**

“wow you’re such a strong person” no. i’m not. i’m fucking weak. i literally crumbled mentally from what happened to me. go fuck yourself.

wanting to touch and be touched but at the same time being touched is terrifying and makes you vomit in your mouth

“hey you wanna cuddle?” “actually nevermind i feel gross don’t touch me” “HEY YOU WANNA C–”

can’t sleep my head is too loud

Who am i? WHO AM I!? WHAT AM I WHO AM I WHO 

one completely random sound = Flashback Hell

wait you mean you don’t have 15 voices in your head constantly disagreeing with you??

is that pain? i can’t tell

it’s not working my coping methods aren’t working it’s not working IT’S NOT WORKING

“your experiences make up who you are” thanks, looks like i’m made up of the trauma and hell my abusers put me through.

am i hungry, anxious or need to pee, or all three

i showered yesterday. wait it was 4 days ago??

you kicked me from front for 3 days what the FUCK did you do

that’s not my name that’s not my name that’s not my name that’s not my name that’s not

i did that?? are you sure??? did i really do that??? did i really say that???

WHY CAN’T I FUCKING REMEMBER ANYTHING I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I DID TEN MINUTES AGO I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I WAS DOING RIGHT NOW HOW THE HELL DID I SURVIVE AT ALL THIS LONG

i’m alive? you mean i’m not dead? why do i feel like i’m decaying?

who is that

do you remember what you did? do you remember at all? do you even care? you don’t care. you just act like it never happened. 

I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

why do i feel like it’s 2007 and i’m 12 years old

i literally was capable of doing this yesterday who the fuck forgot

am i fronting? am i co-fronting? am i real? is any of this real? are my alters even real? 

why do i feel like i’m f  a  d  i  n  g

i wish i knew what i was like if i didn’t have all this shit that fucked me up.

“you’re a survivor/fighter” don’t you dare ever fucking call me that again.

[night-bird-calling-blog]

How could you be suicidal?

I get this question every time someone finds out that I want to die. They automatically assume that it’s because I had a traumatic childhood. Which I did but that’s not why I’m still this way. They assume it’s because I’ve been raped several times. Again true but not the reason why. They see my trauma and see that I’ve tried to kill my self over and over again and always failed.

They don’t see any reason why I should want to die NOW. They see a marriage that’s not perfect but is full of love. They see a mom with 4 awesome kids that are smart and funny. They see a woman with a business she started from scratch even if it hasn’t taken off yet. They don’t see me though.

They don’t see that for 10 years my life from before has been locked in storage. I’m unable to go through and process that last and move on get rid of things keep things that matter. They don’t see that I struggle every single day to do basic things. They don’t see that I’m the sole caretaker of 5 other people who don’t do anything for themselves 90+% of the time.

They don’t see that things that seem so small have been building up. The destruction caused by ADHD, with possibly more issues that we don’t know of, goes unnoticed by everyone else. Being the only one to take care of everyone when they are sick or hurting but no one caring when I am sick or hurting. They don’t see that I’m constantly drowning and begging for help.

So yes, I want to die. It would be so relieving to die. I’m so tired. So tired of being in pain. So tired of going unheard and unseen. So tired of living in someone else’s house. I’m so tired of the noise and the mess. Of hating everything and everyone, myself especially.

But if I died who would do what I do? Who would carry the weight I do? No one can do that. My husband can’t do it. My children can’t do it. There would be no one to support them.

So I stay alive; for them I suffer. For them I wake up. For them I live in pain with every movement and every breath. It’s all for them it always was and always will be. Until the day they leave and I’m no longer needed to hold them up.

That will be the day I can finally stop. The day I can finally rest. The day the pain comes to an end. They will move on and live. I’m not a big part of their life now and I won’t be then. So I will just fade away and that will be the end. It will finally be silent that day. And I look forward to it.

[night-bird-calling-blog]

Depression is not Misery

I’m not miserable. I have a loving husband and great kids. I have a home and family that loves me. Im trying to get healthy. Things can get tough sometimes. Like now my mom is fighting breast cancer. It sucks so much but she’s alive and they think she will recover. I’m getting a kitten soon that cute and fluffy. But despite all this good stuff. I’m depressed. I have anxiety attacks and panic attacks. I can’t take care of myself half the time. Sometimes I think to myself “I’m so miserable.” But I’m not. I’m depressed. My brain is getting in the way of my life. I’m realizing that I have to be careful not to let my brain get carried away. I have to keep track of those thoughts and remind myself that I have a good life. So I’m not miserable not anymore.

[niyarest]

you fucks better start using colored text everywhere like you’re a school girl who just got a pack of glitter pens for her 12th birthday

[night-bird-calling-blog]

I do what I want.

[1derspark]

Fanfiction is just the best isn’t it? You can go read a 5k little dribble about your otp having a morning cuddle with a side of pancakes, and then go to a 100k full fucking space epic au that someone just wrote cause they wanted to. We have heartwretching fics, coffee shop au’s, westerns, modern fantasies, arranged marriages, medieval stories, I’m so grateful to fanfic writers for giving us stories (some better than published books) about our favorite characters to read on the daily for free.

Thank you <3

[stormbornwithblackfyre]

COULDN’T REBLOG THIS QUICK ENOUGH

[night-bird-calling-blog]

[nakomahs-moved-blog]

#OTP