…I think it’ll hurt, yes, but I also know there will be something past the pain. Something that will bring light and warmth and color. Something that will look at your pain and know exactly how to soothe it, how to hold you until it fades.
Just…consider what I’m saying. Please.
…if I say fine, I hope you leave me alone, for at least a bit.
Just know… I’m happy already. I want things to stay this way.
ok but what if this feeling that something’s off is because you’re missing out on something that could make you happier? What if there’s a spark that’s going unlit?
No, I firmly believe that feeling is you constantly nagging me about this type of stuff.
Just disappear already!!!
…I- didn’t mean it in that way- why is my heart aching?
15 people with the same problem? Sounds like too much to be a coincidence
Who cares?!
…!
Look… thinking about it, it makes me- want to cry. It hurts me. It makes me feel- fake- and that creates a bigger spiral…
I’ve lived a great life for someone like me. My family loves me. Everyone at school sees me as me. My friends don’t need to know everything.
So the possibility of forgetting something… if I can’t remember it, it couldnt have been good. I don’t want to know what I went through, or could go through. I want to keep being lucky!
They know too much… if they know my feelings, whay else do they know..?
…
No. I can’t listen to them. The more ignorant I am, the more distant from the stuff going on- the happier I feel. That feeling- it will disappear. It has to…