All problems are boring until they're your own

Noah Theriot . 32 . Handyman . smuggler

[noahtheriot]

@fayesalazar​‌:

Faye cocked her head towards the back end of the car and shrugged. “Probably.” Though knowing Noah, there was a chance that it already had and he’d somehow duct taped it back together and kept driving a few thousand more miles before he even got it to roll into the garage. But it didn’t stop her from taking a look under the hood to find the source of the sound that would have had her pushing it into the bayou if it were her vehicle. A true viking funeral for a good ride. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much seein’ as you’ve got yourself a good, what? Three lives left?”

“Four. That thing in  N’oleans don’t count.” Noah grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Faye from under the hood. “Voodoo an’ all that.” Twisting away, knowing better than to get between Faye and a vehicle unless he was handing over the tools, he started to wander and take a look at what was around. “Got anythin’ fun comin’ up you need a helpin’ hand with?”

[alongwaydownads]

AND IF YOU FALL, HOLD MY HAND

Name 🡒 Noah Theriot

Nickname(s) 🡒  N/A

Date of Birth 🡒 June 7, 1987 [32]

Identity 🡒 Cis Man & he/him

Orientation 🡒 Asexual

Hometown 🡒 New Orleans, Louisiana

Has Been in St. Clair 🡒 Moved to the Parish when he was five

Currently Living 🡒 Eldritch Island

Occupation 🡒 Jack-of-all-Trades, Handyman, Boat Tours, Smuggler, You name it he’s done it

Faceclaim 🡒 Brett Dalton

OOH BABY, IT’S A LONG WAY DOWN

TW - N/A

1. GOOD AFTERNOON, FIRST OFF I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS IS SIMPLY PROCEDURE. YOU AREN’T IN TROUBLE. WE JUST HAVE SOME QUESTIONS TO ASK, IS THAT ALRIGHT? AND BEFORE WE GET STARTED, HAS ANYONE OFFERED YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK YET? A WATER, COFFEE, OR PERHAPS A CUP OF TEA?

The last time Noah had been taken into the station, it’d been for feeding the gators marshmallows. The time before that, he’d had a run in with a tourist that didn’t quite enjoy bungie jumping off a bridge as much as he did. And the time before that, well–he figured they all got the picture. Every single cop in that station had had a run-in with Noah in one way or another, but no one had ever convicted him of anything. They saw the guileless smile, and the all-too-accommodating personality, and rarely took another look. He probably should’ve been jailed hundreds of times by now, but not one of these cops could remember him ever even being slapped in cuffs. His smile just as bright as when he walked in there that morning, he relaxed into his chair, “Y’got any of that whiskey left from last time?”

2. OKAY THEN, COULD YOU PLEASE STATE YOUR NAME FOR THE RECORD? IS THAT YOUR BIRTH NAME? ANY ALIASES WE SHOULD BE AWARE OF?

“Noah Theriot.” He sipped slowly at the alcohol filled Dixie cup that looked far too small in his large and calloused hands, gazing between the two cops sitting in front of him, not an ounce of fear in his body. “I know y’all got a file on me a mile long at this point.”

3. NOW THEN, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD BRIEFLY. WHAT WAS GROWING UP LIKE FOR YOU?

“Alright, story time, kiddos.” Noah grinned and mimed cracking his knuckles, through the break in his middle left finger made it impossible for that to ever happen again. “Grew up in the Bayou, the swamps. Mama said the first pet I ever did have was a gator that was the size of me. Got the pictures to prove it. Spent more time outside in the water then I did in school. Moved here when I was a little one, don’t really know why, Mama was always tight lipped about it, and Papa didn’t follow us. Or…least I knew he didn’t. There were times though, when I figured Mama might’ve had a hand in him not comin’ with us, but–she didn’t take kindly to those questions. Other’n that, was a pretty good childhood. From what I remember.”

4. AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FAMILY? WERE YOU CLOSE WITH YOUR PARENTS, OR GUARDIANS? ANY SIBLINGS?

“Mama’s everything I’ve ever known. I’m sure I have a Grandpa, and Grandma and maybe some cousins floatin’ out there, but I’ve only ever really known Mama. She’s been there every step of the way, still out there causing a ruckus out in the swamps when the gators get too close to the chickens. She don’t like it when Petey gets hungry.”

5. WHAT WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE LIKE? DID YOU ENJOY IT? DID YOU HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS, OR WERE YOU MORE OF A LONER? SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN, MAYBE?

“I didn’t–” This time Noah paused, looking unsettled for a moment before that same amiable smile stole over his face. “School was fine. Gave me an education, I suppose. Had a few friends, learned something. Let’s me work and play when I want to, and never really had any trouble.” Or at least, none that he’d ever admit to the cops that he did. He might’ve been able to fly under their radar so far, for so long, but he figured murder was a pretty arrest worthy offense, and he liked not being locked up.

6. SO, DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE? IF SO, WHAT FOR AND IF NOT, WHY? WHAT WAS YOUR POST-HIGH SCHOOL LIFE LIKE?

“College?” Noah let out a sharp bark of laughter that devolved into a set of giggles, wiping away a few tears that managed to escape. “Can you imagine me, of all people, at college? Nah, no way. Never gonna happen, never wanted it to happen. I was happy with where I was, helping Mama out on the land, and floating from town to town, just gettin’ to experience life, and things. See and meet new people. Goin’ to college, and takin’ all them classes has never been my life. And it’s never gonna be.”

7. DO YOU HAVE A REPUTATION AROUND TOWN? HOW WOULD YOU SAY OTHERS PERCEIVE YOU?

“Huh,” Noah sat back in his chair, staring at the ceiling momentarily as he thought, “Y’know, I never rightly thought about it. Figure people like me, alright. I help fix up what needs fixin’, take people where they want to go. Simple as that. I don’t got beef with them, they don’t got beef with me.” But to those in the know, the ones that have a bit more of a darker connection, they knew that Noah was the person if you wanted things ‘moved’. He had enough connections with enough people all over Louisiana and the Gulf of Mexico, if you wanted something moved under the radar, he was your guy.

8. CAN YOU HELP ME UNDERSTAND YOUR PERSONALITY? WHAT ARE YOU LIKE, BOTH ON THE SURFACE AND DEEP DOWN? WHAT ABOUT IN PUBLIC VERSUS IN PRIVATE?

“Oh boy, well, guess this is a psych ward now?” Noah let out a delighted laugh at his terrible joke, and waved away the amusement only he felt. “I figure I’m just like y’all. Good ol’ boy, just living my very best life. There ain’t anything that I particularly want, which means there ain’t really a reason to be anything but what I am. Me.” Noah was purposely vague, so that even if they did want to try and peg a label on him, they wouldn’t. He wasn’t someone who fit into a regular peg, he was a smiling idiot to one person, and competent smuggler to others, and he preferred never really having to be one person. That’s who he was.

9. LEADING OFF OF THAT, WHAT WOULD YOU CONSIDER TO BE YOUR GREATEST STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES?

“Well, I got this softness for the gators, y’know. Grew up with them, they’re like my pets, my puppies. You ever seen one flip on its back and curl up for a scratch? Just about the sweetest thing you’ll ever see, I swear. But, oh–you’re talkin’ about mental weakness, yeah? Hmm.” He tilted his head in thought, never really having thought about himself in that depth, “I guess–boredom? I don’t like it, don’t like not being busy. I’m always my best when I’ve got a job to keep me occupied, helps keep me from gettin’ into trouble.”

10. A BIT HEAVIER, I KNOW, BUT I HAVE TO ASK IF ANYTHING HAS HAPPENED TO YOU PERSONALLY IN YOUR LIFE THAT DRASTICALLY CHANGED YOU AS A PERSON?

“Oh, well–I don’t really–” Noah had had plenty of things happen to him in his life, but he didn’t necessarily categorize them as traumatic. He was always a ‘let things lie’ sort of guy, and even things that would have people curling up in a corner in tears, he just shrugged it off and moved on. “Lost my first gator about a year ago, but it was from old age. Cut me real deep, an’ I haven’t been able to name another gater Fredo, since.”

11. AND OF COURSE, I HAVE TO ASK, WERE YOU IN TOWN BETWEEN ‘96 AND ‘99 WHEN THE ORIGINAL DROWNINGS OCCURRED? DID YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW ANY OF THE ORIGINAL SEVEN VICTIMS? WHAT WAS YOUR LIFE LIKE DURING THOSE TRAGIC YEARS? WHAT WAS THE AFTERMATH?

“Well, the first one I think I was…nine? Had moved here a few years prior, an’ I’m pretty sure my mom was keeping me home a lot more after that. Then the deaths kept happenin’ and she never let me out of my sight. Took her a lot longer to let me wander after that, but other then that my life wasn’t changed that much. They died, we all moved on, isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?”

12. THAT SAID, DID YOU KNOW EITHER DARYLL BORDELON OR GEORGIANA MEARS PERSONALLY? IF SO, WHAT WAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO THEM? HOW MUCH HAVE THEIR DEATHS AFFECTED YOU?

“I mean, I suppose. Went to school with one of ‘em, and saw the other out and about, but they weren’t really ever my friends.” No one was really Noah’s ‘friend’, as much as they might claim to be. He had tons of people who liked him, and came to him for things, but the number of real friends he had, he could count on one hand. “Y’might think I’m an asshole if I say it hasn’t really affected me much, but this is Louisian. Death happens every day, an’ just because some weirdo with a complex has chosen to take it out on people, doesn’t really mean much to me. Sorry.”

13. LASTLY, WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHTS OF MARCH 9TH AND JULY 23RD AND IS THERE ANYONE THAT CAN CORROBORATE YOUR WHEREABOUTS?

“On March 9th I was doin’ a midnight boat tour. It’s one of my specialties, an’ I’ve got the photos and the permits to prove it. As for July 23rd, I think I was with my Mama that night. She’d been gettin’ twitchy and wanted me to come visit a lot more than usual. Sure she’s got something saying it, or pictures. Love her to death, but her an’ that Snapchat–I will never understand.”

TO THE BOTTOM OF THE RIVER

Noah is known in many of the underground circles as the quintessential ‘I Know A Guy’. If you need a body moved, he’s your guy. You need some drugs smuggled, that’s him. You want some weapons off the radar, he’s got it. He’s never really understood how he ended up in this line of business, but he enjoys it, and it keeps himself and his Mama pleasantly flushed with cash. She never asks where he gets it, and he keeps enough legitimate jobs going on throughout the days and nights that no one ever questions it. He may, or may not, have fed a body or two to his gators, but there isn’t anyone who’ll ever be able to prove it, and Noah will always stand by that ‘they deserved it’.

PLAYED BY DE

[noahtheriot]

@heyanikawest​‌:

“Hi,” she didn’t know the male’s name and wasn’t convinced she’d learn it, even if she asked but she still didn’t want to be impolite, even if she was slightly on guard. He seemed nice, maybe a little greasy but she couldn’t be sure if that was just a natural impression or if she was being biased because he was that conventional kind of handsome that could probably get away with anything…like owning exotic pets, for example.

“What kind of kitten?” she questioned, she wasn’t exactly a cat person but she was still pretty sure that two eyes and four legs were all that kittens and alligators had in common…unless the kitten Noah spoke of happened to be a few feet long, scaley and full of teeth. Gross. “Well- she- Elphaba-” she repeated, copying Noah’s pronunciation because she wasn’t familiar with the name herself,  “-couldn’t have gone that far, right? Small legs?” God, she hoped it had small legs, small everything actually, “Uh,” she uttered as she looked around the space, unsure of where to start looking for the fugitive reptile, “Have you got like a- something she likes? Eats?” Nik wasn’t sure why she was trying to lead the operation when she was way out of her depth when it came to animals like this but it was her default instinct to try and commandeer the situation, she couldn’t help it sometimes.

“I mean--aren’t all kittens the same?” They were in Noah’s eyes, at least. He’d had a plethora of animals, both wild and domestic, cohabitate with him while he was growing up, so his perception was probably a little...skewed. He appreciated the officer’s attempts to help, though, and he sent her a quick smile before he moved further down the sidewalk, looking under and around corners for the wayward gator. “She likes chicken, of course. But she’ll settle for lamb or pork if the occasion calls for it.”

Noah wandered a few more feet, the worry starting to creep up in his chest, till he caught a flash of scaly tail disappearing around a corner at the end of the street. “There she is!” He instantly took off, not checking to see if the office would follow, because of course she would. She was just as worried about Elphaba as he was, wasn’t she?

[noahtheriot]

@marijonescott​‌:

        One headphone in, head down, Marisol walked with no thought to the others around her, merely listening to the song playing in her ear. It was her day off, and she found herself having nothing to do besides staying at home and spending time with her cats. It was a sad reality, really, one she sometimes needed to get away from. Stopping in her tracks, Marisol turned her dark hues to the other, her brows furrowing in silent question. Taking the other bud out, she studied the man before slowly asking, “Are you joking?” It didn’t take her long to realize that no, in fact, he wasn’t. “Are you trying to walk an alligator?”

“There’s no try about it. She’s been goin’ on walks with me since she was a month old. She’s the best walkin’ companion.” She never complained, followed him wherever he went, and was one of the most obedient pets he’d ever had. At least, she had been. Frowning Noah got down on his hands and knees and started to crawl down the sidewalk, peering under cars and people alike. “You see anything? She’s small, but she ain’t that quick."

[noahtheriot]

@pagingdrmatthews​

Noah didn’t often find himself in the hospital, he’d gotten good over the years at patching up his own cuts and scrapes, but he’d known from the second the blade cut into his flesh that it was a bad one. It’d just been a twitch of his wrist, one moment of distraction, and the carving tool he’d been using to make the designs in the headboard he’d been commissioned went straight into the flesh of his palm. He hadn’t even noticed it till the wood he was holding started to become slick. The neurons in his brain hadn’t quite fired correctly in his head since he was a child, and pain didn’t really affect him as much anymore, which lead to some terrible, and exciting moments in his life. So used to his lackluster pain, he simply packed up and headed to the closest ER, as easy as could be. Entering through the doors, he walked up to the first doctor he saw, blood-stained rag wrapped tightly around his hand, and tapped them on the shoulder. “S’cuse me, Doc? You got a moment?”

[noahtheriot]

@ilsegibbs​‌:

@noahtheriot​

One of the gates on the stables had broken, which was not ideal. It meant fitting more horses into the other stables for now, since the horses would get out if they just let them stay with a broken gate, and that was not as productive. Not to mention that it meant the stables were now overcrowded, and that went against health and safety policies for both the animals and the people working. Ilse researched for a handyman to fix it, but it had to be a cheap one. The higher ups didn’t care enough to give them extra money for repairs. So she found him, Noah, but he would only do it at night. She wouldn’t keep anyone else late so here she was, with a strange man, alone, at night. Her friends knew exactly what to do in this situation. That she would text every 5 minutes, and if they didn’t hear from her to call the police. She sent that first text as she guided him back to the stable gates with her flashlight and asked, “Have you been a handyman long?”

Noah was surprised to get the call to come fix, but he was used to the odd job being referenced around town. Most people hired him for fixer-uppers, at least people who were on the up and up. The rest, knew other ways to contact him to get the job done. Unfortunately, for her, his days were booked up this week, but he always felt he was more of a night owl and was happy to help fix up the gates at night. Pulling up in his truck, he got out with a grin and met the woman happily, “Been one pretty much my whole life, ma’am.” He didn’t have a flashlight himself, but he didn’t need one, he spent so much time in the dark it was almost second nature to him. “Used to help my mama out around the house, but she didn’t give me a real hammer till I was ten. You just point me at what needs fixin’, an’ I’ll have it done in no time. Promise.”

[noahtheriot]

@jacobpvrker​‌:

An off day and not a lot to do —- and a lot to recover from —- meant that Jake would probably spend his day with his mother. Of course, he hadn’t gone to her place in a while since he didn’t want her to take one look at him and worry herself; so the minute his face was salvageable with some make-up, he promised himself he’d go to her. With his cup of coffee in hand, Jake was on his way back to his car before someone interrupted him. “A gator?” Those words left his mouth as a reaction to what he had heard. And he almost asked about the pink harness, though he ultimately decided against it. Though, that fact did raise another pressing question: “You have a pet gator?”

“Yeah, man. Her names Elphaba, ‘bout two feet long, six inches high. Sweetest little thing you ever did see.” Noah spared the man a quick glance before he went back to searching along the street, behind the detritus and beneath cars for the wayward alligator. “You seen her at all?” He couldn’t help but send the man a cheeky grin over his shoulder, “Or heard any screaming?”

[noahtheriot]

@ashley--tran​‌:

@noahtheriot​

The radiator in Ashley and her roommate’s dorm broke two nights ago. One would think, the school has maintenance people, right? The logical answer would be to quickly get one of them to come up and fix the radiator, but no, her roommate had a better idea. And that was to contact Noah Theriot. According to her roommate, he could do anything they would ever need and there would be no reason to get a charge to their student accounts for it. But, of course, when it came time for him to come and fix their radiator, her roommate had decided to go out with her boyfriend for the day. Which left Ashley to entertain this man she didn’t know and made sure he just fixed the radiator, and didn’t steal anything. It was not her ideal Sunday. She heard a knock at the door and went to answer it, realizing the man must be Noah, she stepped aside to let him come in as she said, “Come in, the radiator’s over here.”

Noah had probably been out to the dorms about a dozen times at this point, fixing broken A/Cs and radiators, and microwaves. Anything and everything the college kids couldn’t fix themselves and the college maintenance workers refused. It helped pay a good chunk of his bills, and he enjoyed the occasional free slice of pizza he’d get in payment instead. When the door opened, his smile was bright and open and he held his hand out in welcome, “Yes, ma’am--Noah Theriot.” When she simply moved to the side, he let his hand drop and grabbed his toolkit from his side and stepped inside, looking around. “How long’s it been on the fritz?” Having located the radiator, he set down his bag and went to work taking it apart, having fixed a few of them in this building before, and having a little idea of what was wrong.

[noahtheriot]

@erinwilliamsrp​‌:

Other than the mid-day rush work had been slow. Thankfully. They had just left the diner, walking in the direction of where they were staying, and were half-way through texting when something caused them to swerve. After colliding with a bench, they then realised what they had avoided. Merely blinking at the creature, Erin noted the pink harness and watched it carry on waddling down the sidewalk as though nothing had happened. In the midst of deciding what to do somebody called from a distance. It wasn’t to them. Something about gator. Waving an arm in the direction they assumed the voice came from, they yelled back.

         “Dude, over here! You’ve got one strange dog and it’s trying to make a run for it.”

Noah was getting a little desperate. The longer Elphaba was out on her own, the more likely it was for her to get in trouble, and someone to mistake her for a wild beast. He’d raised her since she’d first hatched and she was the sweetest thing, but he knew there were enough people that would only see a wild animal. His head snapped up at the call and he followed it to the person that had seen Elphaba. Eyes bright he jogged over and let out a happy little cheer as he caught sight of Elphaba’s tail disappearing under a bench. Instantly dropping to the ground, he curled a hand into her harness and pulled her out, “There you are, you little brat.” He popped back up after a few moments with the alligator cradled to his chest quite placidly, and smiled at them. “Thank you so much. I probably never would’ve caught her if you hadn’t seen her. How can I thank you?”

[noahtheriot]

@hannarilcy‌:

before he even spoke to her, hanna was overwhelmed by the busy energy the other was omitting. it wasn’t something she signed up for, it wasn’t something she anticipated, and it certainly wasn’t something she was enjoying even with the distance between them. what was he muttering about? and when would southern drawl be easier to understand? the mid westerner was struggling with everything that was going on, and then she was addressed directly and it got weirder. “ i’m sorry, what? ”  she responded, pausing with her fingers gripping tightly to the handlebars of her bike. if only she’d made it a few more feet out of the parking lot and she could have been riding home. “ a gator– an alligator with a pink harness? ” she was clearly confused by the question. sure, they were in the south but were alligators in harnesses a common thing? had she missed that entirely? “ no, sorry i– ” she stumbled on her words, really at a loss for them “ is it a big alligator? ” 

“Yeah, ‘bout yae long, and yae high?” Noah nodded along and held out his hands to demonstrate how big Elphaba was, more the size of a medium dog than the larger gators that lived in the swamps. One day she’d be too big for him to take out in public, but he’d enjoy these walks while they lasted. Although, if she kept chewing through the lead and disappear, then maybe he wouldn’t be going on a walk any time soon. “You seen her?” Noah spread his attention between the woman on the bike, and the ground surrounding them, peering under the nearby cars for his wayward gator.

[noahtheriot]

@heyanikawest​‌:

Nik’s eyebrows shot up at the sound of Noah’s voice. Sure, she was off duty but that didn’t mean she was entirely impervious to the misdeeds of the people around her. “That depends,” she reasoned, folding her arms across her chest. “Are you permitted to keep alligators?” she questioned curiously. On the one hand, it was her day off and she really didn’t want to get into anything with the guy over an arguably inoffensive matter - on the other hand, she really couldn’t help but stick her nose into things, regardless of whether it belonged there or not. She’d always been that way and she doubted it would change any time soon, especially not now that she got to wear a shiny badge to work. For the most part, it contributed to the things that made her a good cop but at the same time, it contributed to the things that made her a pain in the ass for people like Noah. “I don’t mean to pry, while you’re missing a pet,” she did mean to pry, of course, she absolutely meant to pry “-but I’m under the impression that the possession of dangerous animals is frowned upon in this state- you know, without appropriate accreditation obviously,” okay now she was talking out of her ass. She barely knew Illinois state law by heart, let alone Louisiana law or the law of the local municipality when she’d only been living there for a couple of months. Regardless, she spoke with confidence as she waited for a hopefully decent excuse.

“Why, h’llo officer.” Noah’s grin was just as bright and charming as it usually was when he inevitably ran into the other side of the law. He couldn’t remember seeing her around, but he knew there were newcomers that came and went, and made a point to remember all of them by face and name. Though she wasn’t wearing her uniform, Noah could spot a cop a mile away. “Nothin’ dangerous about Elphaba, swear on my Mama’s life. She’s docile as a kitten an’ twice as sweet.” And though she may be trying to get him in trouble with permits and licensing, Noah did know most of the laws and regulations of the state, and had made an artform of finding loopholes. “Only left her for a few seconds, promise, an’ she went for a little walk on her own. No harm, no foul.”

[noahtheriot]

“Y’know I swear I left ‘er right there. Tied ‘er up an’ everything. Y’ go and get one meatball sub, an’ suddenly--boom, they’re too bored to wait.” Noah wasn’t necessarily talking to anyone, as he was letting the stream of consciousness fill the air with his worry as he searched around the scrub and grass outside of the collection of businesses. He’d been walking one of his younger gators, the harness securing it to the post on the outskirt of the parking lot, but all that was left was the tattered remains of the lead. He didn’t worry about Elphaba getting frisky with anyone, she was docile as a kitten, but she hadn’t been out on her own before and he didn’t want her to get hurt. He caught someone walking by from the corner of his eye, and turned towards them, “You, there. You seen a gator wandering around with a pink harness on?”

[noahtheriot]

@fayesalazar​

“So...is it supposed to make that sound?” Noah, even after all these years, only knew the most basic of things about cars and their maintenance, but that didn’t stop him from coming by Faye’s garage every other day and ‘help’. He’d just finished turning what he thought was the air compressor, but the gravely sounding growl the car made every time he turned it on was worrisome. As was the small plume of smoke that started to rise. “It’s not gonna blow up, is it?”

[ginnyeweasley]

[slamncram]

Brett Dalton as Gavin Stone The Resurrection of Gavin Stone Production Blog - Day 5 (x)

[sbstianstan]

Brett Dalton in The Resurrection of Gavin Stone