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More quarantine activities.. From Halloween to Christmas

I ate a lot during covid. What else is there to do!

Covid Blues

Here we are. Day whatever of the pandemic. We had our restrictions lifted, now they're back in place. We aren’t to have a bubble, family socializing only, no unnecessary trips, but businesses remain open. Thanksgiving was different this year too. Kara and the boys couldn’t come because you are to remain in your community, so gran and bob came over with us. This time around too, I am a certified teacher and am on the supply list. Unsure if that’s a great thing during covid though.

You’d think as a 26 (almost 27) year old, covid shouldn't scare me. However, with my university track record of illness and my latest health updates, it scares the living shit out of me. Doesn’t help that my specialist was recommending me not to work. The multiple schools, different classes, changing students, and any slight error in all the procedures to keep us safe could lead to me catching covid. My doc had said that if I were to catch covid, I would definitely need hospitalization and would majorly struggle to fight it. We won’t go to the worst possible situation on that one either. So like everything with Covid, its a catch-22 situation. If I get a call, I am doing what I set out to do and make some money, but the risk is high. If I don’t get a call to teach, I am safe, but I sit at home for yet another day.

That predicament is a challenge, add the health news that got me there. Still struggling with that swallow, literally and metaphorically. My disease has reduced my lung function to 70%, meaning I’ve already lost 30%. I have also been having issues swallowing, which they warned me my disease will impact my throat. However, the news there was that its my tongue that's been causing the issues, my throat is still losing function, but its my tongue that is declining very fast. That means my ability to swallow and to talk will be lost. These things were never mentioned or warned about and feels so left field. It’s overwhelming, and anxiety inducing, and makes me want to take off and explore again.

Which leads to the next sad element of covid.. I had to turn down the dream job because of my health and covid. It made me initially angry to have the health that I do. Now I am just sad that I am not able to explore like I want to, while I can. I am trying to channel more grace than anger, but it’s some hard things to process. The job was teaching visual arts and library, it was permanent, full time in Hazelton, BC. Legit, the dream! Around here, nothing is opening up teaching wise. Even supplying is a struggle. Things are not lining up here, which leads to my thinking that everything happens for a reason and I truly think that arrows are pointing me back that way.

News like what I got is hard, not being able to travel is hard, my health in general is hard, but covid makes this all even harder.

Anyways, felt good to let that one out. Its heavy news that isn't a real convo starter.

Quarantine Lists

In order to keep sane, I made lists on lists to keep busy during quarantine. As a way to store the list to reflect on whenever this pandemic craziness is done with, I will post here!

BUSINESS/BORING tasks

Sell back room items

Sell outdoor shit

Start course July 6th

Forms for supply teaching

Set job alert for Avon

Back up Brandie, Syd, Juan

Back up MacBook air for MacBook pro

Apply to qeco for pay grid

Order pics for black book

MAIL STEPH CARD

Sell; grapevine tree, tripod, lamps, junk in back room

Look into extra aq courses

Make AQ plan for A4 pay grid

Order painting supplies for Lainie’s canvas

Post HD imagery

Email back to Jenn

Apply for CESB

Buy new laptop

Look at bc job board

Message emerald:AB

Clean shelf in dress closet

Buy accessories for laptop

Paint Ma’s shutters

Paint Ma’s doors

Paint Ma’s garage doors

Mail OCT police check

Sell lainies shit

Sell: stars, potters, urns

Update MasterCard info

Sort out flight credits

Sort out oct transcripts

Get snows off car

Download all Shazam songs

Make new music playlist

Sort out tumblr

Add velcro to face masks

Sort out bins under bed

Order cat food to sheldons

Update addresses in contacts

Declaration for amdsb

Make gift certificate

Order card materials

Order hair mask

Paint Lainie’s basement

Paint Lainie’s stairs

Organize teaching docs

Sort through school google accounts

Write award essay

Final teacher’s college project

Go through contacts on computer / iPhone

Order photos for Ma

Go through insta/fb follows friends

Go through insta messages

Go through fb messages

Paint Lainie’s Upstairs room 1

Paint Lainie’s Upstairs room 2

Go through all google docs, drives, slides

Sort out Van Gogh tickets

Update HD imagery website

Sort out stay for nipissing

Clean up HD imagery photos

Clean up insta grid/followers

Clean up Facebook posts and photos

Clean up Pinterest boards

Back up brandies photo

Order meds

Call Makar’s office

Bobs card

Mas phone

Pick up clothing at tisha’s

Paint Lainie’s garage

Clean up iCloud storage

Sort out email addresses and delete some accounts

Go through keychain and delete

Assemble professional portfolio

Tighten glasses

Organize tech bin

Create full long range plan

Clean sticky bras

Dust room

Straighten pics in room

Wash bedsheets

Order watercolours

Create month workout challenge

Upload police check to apply to Ed

Vacuum car

Organize car compartments

Put in claim for screen protector

Go through games

Go through movies

Go through art bins in the back room

Go through bins in dodis room

Go through cellar room totes

Clean shoes

Fix lights

Switch phone carriers

Debt repayment plan

Find bell information, sort out bell account

Spray and clean yoga mat

Email Sandra, Trent, Sherri, Lynne, Tisha

Make coupons for Finn

Order grad outfit

Clean food cabinet

Clean makeup brushes

Submit CLE forms

Fix nipissing sweater

Organize closets

Go through papers, notebooks, sketchbooks

Organize dresser

Organize bathroom

Sort through jewelry and clothes

Organize computer

Organize iPhone docs

Clean photography gear

Backup headshots

Back up trip photos

Apply cerb august

Wash bedsheets

Call Apple re: refund

Call Apple re:airpods

one comment on key learnings Spec Ed AQ

Two comments on case study Spec Ed AQ

Sort Vickis boxes

Read CLNP books

Draw winner for photog contest

Clean bathroom drawer

Clean bathroom cupboard

Bag to loft

Box to village

Finish critical reflection

CREATIVE projects

Bake cheese bread

Contours and quotes

Paint lainies canvas

Start new drawing

Watercolour doodles

Edit Brandie pics

Edit Syd pics

Edit Juan pics

Add to website

Watercolour blocks for blind contours

Make Linc card

Fix beach canvas

Add to green canvas

Fix ocean canvas

Paint outdoor stone

Make Dietz Financial Cards Order

Add to black book

Make kort cake

Make cards

Drawing

Dessert with mini eggs

Finish journal

Put Brandie up on website

Make sorbet

Shoot brandies pics

Chalkboard redo

Make Juanita a card

Add to t-shirt

Embroider tshirt

Bake a loaf of bread

Cook something new

Decorate cookies

Bake cookies

Make years cards

Finish black book

Start new black book

New layer on big canvas

Fix skirt

Make pouch for beside bed

Paint small canvas

Doodle

Quarantine rambles

Still in full lockdown currently, which is quite crazy. We are approaching three months now! Luckily, people are past the hoarding of toilet paper and flour stage (lol), but I get the panic and the need to entertain yourself.

So far, in isolation, I’ve sewn a pouch for the side of my bed, embroidered a T-shirt, completed two 40+ hour drawings, finished my old black book, almost finished collaging a new black book for recent years, water coloured, doodled, created 72 handmade cards, journaling (and a few blog posts), painted the same canvas every day now for 70 days, repainted three canvases around the house that had been bugging me (classic), been baking and cooking and trying to expand those skills, learning Spanish currently too!! I’ve been working out/doing yoga 5 times a week, listening to podcasts, finding some new music, even got my old iPod classic fired up. I’ve even organized and cleaned every item and account I own, and did some odd jobs to make some money. Lainie hired me to paint their garage, upstairs bedroom, office, and entire basement, then I sold a bunch of her stuff! Ksta also has hired me for the same stuff, been painting the exterior doors, garage doors, and shutters and selling some of their stuff too.

I’m very grateful to be where I am during this. I have access to a sewing machine, a mother that threads my needles (when you can’t get updated glasses to see) lol, ingredients to create things from, space for creating art, and I am lucky to have the backyard we do. These things are all above the essentials too! So that in itself is a very fortunate situation, one that not all have. I’m also very grateful to have family that can help out when I’m struggling!

I’m trying to make the most out of this time off, even though it is a challenge. Mentally, it’s hard seeing only the same handful of people for this long. (I get why prisons have so much conflict.. 🙈). I am also really struggling with living in listowel during this! Now, almost all of my friends live away from listowel. So the isolation bit is real. Not even like porch visits can be a thing when there’s so much travel involved. Also a very high class problem, but not having travel on my radar as something to look forward to, is a really big struggle. All of those issues seem to go hand in hand with needing a change of scenery. But, just trying to keep busy until that all can happen again. Also trying not to think of the repercussions of this all both personally and globally. Just gotta ride the waves, not much else to do!!

So anyways, I figured I’d share a little to mark this time... one day, we will all be on the other side of this all and will look back and laugh at the craziness! Hopefully sooner, rather than later. I’d like to start my profession, please! (And travel again!!!) ((and see Diego again))

Rock, stick, and a leaf

I am writing this as I sit in quarantine during the covid19 pandemic. It’s quite the time, but I am safe, healthy, and have been keeping busy with hobbies. My family is healthy, friends are, and the area has very few reported cases. Could be so much worse! So I’m grateful.

Because of the pandemic, I wasn’t able to complete my last chunk of practicum through nipissing. I was scheduled to do it in grade 9-11 visual arts in Clinton, so it’s kinda a bummer but like always, practicum is so much work and unpaid at that! So not the end of the world. However, because we weren’t in practicum, we had to do a paper to complete our degree. It was super easy and was literally a click of a button and our degree was done. So easy, but so anticlimactic. All of a sudden I was done a 8 year journey by sitting in bed? Without convocation, that is literally how the journey ends? Craziness. I’m genuinely hoping that they do reschedule like stated, however no one knows what is going to happen with the virus. I was so excited to celebrate with everyone and walk across that stage!

Nipissing was by far the best educational experience I’ve ever had. From the people, to the profs, to the campus itself, to the city.. I loved it all. I cannot express how much I loved living by the lake and how much I miss it now. The lake is for sure my favourite element to these last two years, very closely followed by the people. I loved the community that nipissing was. The people in res, in my core classes, and the groups that I hung out with! I loved living with steph these last two years, and kelly and Amy for one! But, I miss them all. Meeting people that are like minded and have the same goals was incredible. I hadnt found that anywhere else and to find a whole group was beyond was what I hoped for! I was inspired by so many of my peers for once and wanted to grow. Which is what leads me to write today. The lovely miss Amy Carter started this game and she and her sunshine personality, is onto something lovely!

Okay so how it works.. you go around to each person saying what rocked, what you want to stick, and what you want to “leaf” behind! It’s a mindfulness/gratitude lil activity and we did it for everything! Birthdays, new semesters, New Years, beginning/finishing at nipissing. You can’t repeat answers and everyone has to share! Could be silly, could be serious, but it gets you cultivating better thoughts. Here goes!

What rocked about my teachers college experience? The people and the place, like mentioned before. Being a 5 min drive to the lake for all the sunsets and so close to all the trails. Regardless of the cold, it was the most beautiful home! The people... the people! I miss my two big groups of friends. So different in so many ways. One group was the fun, chat about anything, laugh your ass off with, go out dancing with, easy to connect with type. The other group was the quirky, deep chats, board games, and sit around and do nothing with type. All about that balance! Then the profs.. I’ve never had such caring professors at western. I’m not bashing western, but Nipissing’s prof knew me all by name and would never pass by me without small chats in the hallways. I will definitely keep in contact with many of them and was truly looking forward to seeing them at convocation.

What I hope sticks? I was inspired to learn again because of nipissing. I wanted to head to school desperately when back and I was forever counting down the days. I just loved it. It inspired me to keep learning and growing again. I debated doing a masters degree because I wasn’t ready to be done!! So I want this to keep going. It’ll help me teach and it’ll help me grow.

What I want to “leaf” behind? Debt. I’ve done super well getting myself here with very limited debt but there’s a touch of it. Can’t wait to be in the positives again and have the freedom to choose things.. like moving out and travelling!

So there you have it. Rock, stick, and leaf. Or rose (what’s lovely), thorn (what’s painful), and seed (what you’re working on). Easy but so fun!!

And I suppose this is my first official post as Ms. Dietz too! Just about as crazy as this pandemic 😜

Ramblings

Classic intro: “Wow, it’s been ages since I wrote”

This seems to strictly be an outlet for more difficult/sad thoughts, which I applaud whoever still reads this, that you still read because of this. Currently, things are really well, minus the fact that I am in this weird lull of not sleeping.

I love North Bay and Nipissing so damn much. It’s been a great decision and one that has introduced me to so many lovely humans. I’ve had so many moments of connection which has been great. Whether that connection be with people or just the universe in general, it’s been plentiful. For example, I had this one moment where I was teaching grade 6′s science and while I was at the front of the classroom instructing, I had this dual thought process. As I was instructing, I was also thinking about how wild it is that I am currently here, teaching, as a teacher, science (.. HUGE SHOCK THERE), but a professional in general. It was also a big moment of gratitude towards myself and the struggles to overcome to get there, but such a cool moment. Like usual, I really feel connected/grateful when I am nature and in North Bay, moments like that are abundant.

I still find myself dreaming of the coast and I notice the way I talk about it (and want to talk about it) is different than North Bay. If the winters weren't so harsh here, I think it’d be a total different story, but the coast.. It just has my heart. If things line up properly, I will likely head back for a bit for a teaching contract. People ask me if i’d stay in North Bay and I really do love the scenery, but I dont know if the reason I love it is because of the people. BC, on the other hand, I knew one person, and fell in love with it. I can’t imagine if I made solid connections creating a new group of friends.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with the fact that I don’t want to live around home. I carry so much guilt around that. Everyone’s staying around home in my family and I feel selfish by moving away. Fully, whole heartedly, I wish I was content living around home. It’s easy, comfortable, it’s with everything and everyone I know and love. But I am not, no matter how hard I try to love it.

To have to drive over an hour just to get to a decent trail/hike, let alone mountain/lake/ocean. To live in a place where the only thing to do is eat out or drink. To be around people that do not value alt people or lifestyles and lack open minds. To be surrounded by people my age that will drink in someone’e shed for the next 20 years and call that the best time. To not have access to yoga classes, art galleries, cafes, poetry nights. To have to schedule in even the tiniest of adventures or exploring. All of this.. I can’t imagine for the rest of my life.

Why can’t I just pick up my whole family and bring them to the coast?!

Luckily the decision to move is still far away, another year of North Bay life after the summer home and I am pumped. I am already sad to come back to Listowel in 2.5 weeks though. I love my independence and freedom here. The people here have also become my family, making it very rare that I feel lonely. There are always things to do (homework aside) and new trails to explore. Plus being so close to the lake is so great. I have this haunting feeling of home coming off as stale and that i’ll die single by being in Listowel, hahaha. I may be surrounded by familiarity at home, but I find it so lonely. I think that comes with the territory of always having felt different in Listowel, versus going west and my personality and interests are the norm.

Anywho. 2.5 weeks till I am back in Listowel. Trying to make the most of it while I am here, however this lack of sleeping needs to f*ck off. Today is day 4 without sleep. I skipped half my classes to come back and face plant in bed LOL. Sad, but the truth. I am wiped. But this is the reason why I write tonight. I do not and have not felt anxious, but I am trying to do all I can to help my sleep. Ive been exercising once or twice a day, eating decently, trying to keep bedtime routines/healhy habits happening there, then using my outlets like meditating, writing. Today I was also crying, a grief wave hit me pretty hard (likely worse because of the lack of sleep). But between the good cry, a sweaty exercise sesh, decently healthy dinner, and writing, I will just KO tonight.

Wish me luck.

Quarter century craziness!

Today’s Wednesday, tomorrow’s Thursday, the next day is my birthday. I turn a quarter century old.. quite wild to think the age that I once thought was old is now where I’m at. It’s strange not being in Florida for this one too. Usually I’m on the beach with oodles of tropical fruit (yes that was one of my big highlights to Florida lol). However this year I am in Ontario, while my family is away. I will also be in a classroom with 11/12 year olds.. I will be (hopefully) going to my ex’s to see my cat. Then some gal pals coming for Chinese and board games.

Im having a hard time with my birthday this year. Obviously the situation for this birthday, of being alone, not having my cat with me, spending it teaching math and science LOL, not doing something off my bucket list, but the biggest part is turning a year older when Keith isn’t. One day in the near future, I will get older than him. Which doesn’t feel right, because it’s not.

But I’m still trying to accept what is rather than what should be. Appreciating what I have, rather than only wishing for what I don’t have. And most importantly, being grateful for the days that I do have and the ability to age. Because it is a privilege.

So my goal is to wake up in this empty house and enjoy the silence and freedom. Then I’m going to enjoy the learning experience, well behaved students, an AT that is super easy to connect with, fantastic work atmosphere that milverton is. Then go cuddle with my cat who is not even five minutes from me, in a familiar and loved spot. Then enjoy a casual night in with some friends that cleared their busy schedules making me feel special. Hopefully I’ll find some time to do some yoga and read Rant. Mine and Keith’s book.

For the first time in my life, I finally feel like I’ve found where I’m supposed to be. The career choice, the location, the community.. it feels right. So even though my birthday may not be so crazy memorable, this year will still be one for the books just in a different way. Which is for the best.

So here’s the making the most out of my 25th birthday and year. 💕

The transition period..

I write this as I am an exhausted pigeon (hopefully you understand that meme reference) so have that in mind. I am struggling with this adjustment back to “home” and needing a space to clear my mind so HELLO TUMBLR. In the past few weeks, my mindset has been quite negative and I even am weighing myself down so today I had to sit myself down and figure how to progress forward. This is step one. So why am I having such a hard time?

I miss my life out there. I miss the mountains, the air, the ocean, the constant adventure, the weekly hikes, the freedom, the free time, living with my cat, living on my own, living on my own schedule. I miss the clean slate that it gave me and the feeling of having the world at my fingertips. Now I come back to my family and friends, which I am so grateful for, but I can’t help but feel trapped in Listowel. My friends do the same thing and we only get together basically once every month, plus it’s boy/husband crazy right now (and I am sorry but there is way more to life than boys), Listowel has the same people it did years ago which is for better or for worse, same scenery, same people content with the same things. It’s a place of comfort which i’m grateful to recharge in, but I am at the trapped stage sadly. I know this is the limbo area between the BC and Nipissing chapter of my life, just have to figure out how to spin this into an easier transition.

So what are my favourite moments here in Ontario? Most include nature so I need to make time to be outside and get out hiking too. That’s the biggest thing, I need to get out hiking again. Waterfalls in Ontario may not equal BC ones but they still are beautiful in their own way and make me blissfully present. I had one of those moments out on the lake on a paddleboard at pam’s cottage. Kortney and I were having great chats and the sunset was so beautiful, water was so clear, and the temp was perfect out. I’ve been itching to get back to my picnic spot by the waterfall, but I think july 7th will be the soonest I get there. So just over two weeks to go, how else do I come around? I am not entirely sure.. Part of the issue is needing more time. In BC, I did yoga almost every day, I wrote, drew or read every other day, plus getting more than enough sleep each night. Now you add 40 hours of work, photog, trying to have somewhat of a social life.. All that stuff kinda goes to the wayside, plus not having working glasses and I am just pooched.

Here’s to hoping that my glasses are in any day now, sleep is sufficient to do things after work, free time magically pops up and that this transition goes a bit more smoothly. I also am craving some deep connection.. I have been finding some of my taxi drivers have gone deeper and connected with me on a more emotional level than people in my circle hahaha. So deep chats, nature, free time, glasses and positivity. All achievable right?!

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