hogwarts queer club represent

harry potter headcanons from a feisty queer teen.

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

nonbinary teddy lupin more like me

ditto

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

in any friend group i always get really into figuring out which person is the glue that holds ‘em together y’know?? ‘cause there’s usually a person like that.

and i used to think it was remus for the marauders in two senses. his lycanthropy is the genesis of their animagus transformations and therefore he’s the reason they’re A Pack (for those uninitiated into the full world of marauders tropes, The Pack is one. and it’s important 2 me), but also. remus has uncommon kindness, and thoughtfulness, and i firmly believe that the others saw that and valued it. so remus as the glue made sense.

i’ve never thought it was sirius or peter — sirius is sort of a tornado in his own right y’know, too big and too loud and a complete raging disaster. he doesn’t bring people together so much as he brings them in. and peter, peter couldn’t hold anyone together. in the end, peter couldn’t hold himself together.

i can still make a compelling argument for remus, but really, really, i believe it’s james.

i think about what remus says in deathly hallows all the time, that he would have considered it the height of dishonor to mistrust a friend. james, young, brave, brilliant, bright james. james would never do wrong by a friend, and at their heart that’s what the marauders are about: sticking by your friends, no matter how hellacious or miserable the road becomes. james had faith.

i think the animagus transformation was james’s idea. i think that for james, thinking about remus suffering like that tore him up inside and drove him to tears late at night and made him ache deeper than he knew he could. james was the one who stopped The Prank, and there’s no doubt in my mind that his first thought was of remus — what would happen to remus if one of them made a stupid mistake. james is the one sirius turns to when he runs away. james is the one who would do anything, anything, anything for a friend.

james was their backbone. their strongest point, their unshakable, impossibly stubborn friend. james directed them all towards the kind of friendship he felt so naturally, and in the chaos of the war, it’s james who never falters once.

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

some moments last forever (but some flare out with love, love, love)

[ao3]

The Hogwarts Express rumbles its way, as it always has, through thick green countryside on its return to King’s Cross station in London. The customary end-of-year happenings commence: sticky first-years have gotten their grubby fingerprints upon the glass of the compartment doors; older, wiser students lounge comfortably on cushioned seats as they play lazy games of Gobstones; darker, quieter compartments house pairings of significant others keen on one last rousing snog before going two months without licking the face of their beloved. The singular anomaly of the final return journey of the year is this: Compartment J is silent.

Compartment J has not known a peaceful journey to or from Hogwarts Castle since June 1971. The autumn journey of the same year marked the beginning of seven years’ worth of rough treatment, uninhibited noisemaking, and general abuse for the compartment. For the hours and miles it took for the train to pull in at Hogsmeade station, the compartment housed four eleven-year-old boys, and it has housed them every trip since. Its seats’ cushions bear stains from experimental charms gone wrong, splotched on one of its walls is an unpleasant greenish splotch that refuses to fade, and four sets of clumsy initials dig into the wood of its windowsill. The carvers of these letters began their final trip with their usual rambunctious vigor, but there was a tightness to it, a pointed not-acknowledgment of the finality. Now, with one hour left before the train pulls into the station, they sit – for the first time in seven years – quietly.

Read More

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

nonbinary sirius

sirius just. sirius seems like he wouldn’t care about masculinity?? i dont’ think he’d have any use for it. like we all know sirius is described as good-looking like 800 times but like, because of the aristocratic background and everything, i always read him as more beautiful than handsome. high cheekbones and long eyelashes and nice lips and just. pretty. and i think he’d like that, that he’d like the fact that he’s pretty.

the pureblood wizarding world is so traditional, like i talked the other day about the fact that i think sirius’s family would pressure him to eventually get married and have children. i can see that traditionalism playing very easily into ideas about gender, too. i think sirius’s family would expect him to eventually become an Upstanding Pureblood Man, that ideas about masculinity would be very deeply engrained in those expectations.

and i think that, along with all the other ideology he so despises, would strike him as complete bullshit. sirius wants to be who he is and do what’s right for him, to ride motorcycles and kiss dudes and ramble around with his best friends. sirius intentinoally distances himself from everything his parents stand for in favor of what feels genuine and right to him, and i can very easily see that translating to his gender identity.

idk i don’t think he’d have the time or energy to devote to caring about being a Masculine Guy (TM) and i can see him feeling very “meh” about gender in general?? i just. i can see him thinking about it and deciding that this black-or-white, one-or-the-other binary is just useless to him and not helpful in terms of how he presents himself or how he identifies.

agender sirius, demiguy sirius, demigirl sirius… nonbinary sirius. .

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

marauders plus social media please and thank you

im so amped abt this ok i think i’m gonna break it up by platform

tumblr:

remus is the most active on tumblr definitely, he posts stuff that he’s super interested in that he may or may not talk to the other three about, like i can see him being super into science and art and media criticism along with activism stuff. every time sirius looks at remus’s blog he’s just like “my boyfriend is. way smarter than me.” remus is also the only one who makes and sustains friendships online.

peter is kinda blundering on tumblr like he has the generic theme and doesn’t really tag anything and he adds unnecessary comments to posts but he doesn’t do it on purpose so no one says anything to him they just let him carry on doing his thing, but they’ve all agreed that if he ever identifies as a superwholockian then somebody’s gotta put their foot down.

sirius doesn’t use tumblr super often but he and james have an ongoing competition to see whose selfies will get more notes. he only makes text posts to say that james is a fucking nerd. they have matching icons. he and james both start liking memes ironically but eventually it’s not ironic anymore. sirius’s favorite is the skeleton war. he thinks fandom bloggers are fucking nerds but “breaking bad doesn’t count that’s ART.” he also has an aesthetic sideblog but nobody really knows what the hell any of it means.

james is same as sirius except also. do you remember that one time john green made a post that said “sometimes i feel like tumblr doesn’t even care about sports”?? thats james

vine

literally sirius and james’s absolute favorite part of living in the 21st century

they have a shared account and it’s mostly them just. being goofballs.

jumping off of things that shouldn’t be jumped off off and yelling “PARKOUR”

james just going “neeeeEEEEEEEEEEERD” at sirius

they insist they’re gonna become Vine Famous but they’re just. loud obnoxious goofballs having a good time.

(remus doesn’t care about vine and peter just follows james and sirius and like 4 other ppl)

myspace

this is only here because i want you to imagine 14-year-old sirius black’s myspace account. imagine

facebook

james and sirius are facebook married and when james gets together with lily sirius jokingly acts Very Upset at remus’s insinuation that james has to change his relationship status but james is like “no way i’m keepin it.”

(when sirius and remus get together sirius is like “remus you konw i Really Like You but—” remus cuts him off. “stay married to james you fucking nerd”)

none of them are super active on facebook because they’re not their parents but james always tags everyone and posts when they’re together and remus puts up photos from trips and stuff

sirius is Really Happy once he leaves home and can change his “interested in” and his gender and he feels like a Nerd for it being such a big deal to him but it is and it makes him Very happy

peter’s status is usually “hanging out w/ the boys!” it’s kinda cute

remus doesn’t usually even bother checking facebook but somehow every few months he winds up in a long intense argument with people who are perpetuating gross behavior and he gets So Pissed

ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE. IMAGINE

twitter

james and sirius never fuckin shut up on twitter omg

peter doesn’t have a twitter he doesn’t really see the point, peter doesn’t do much internet stuff in general

remus likes it but he gets frustrated because he needs more characters than that, damn it

btw remus is in general very into online activism and community

james and sirius both have no filters between their brains and what goes on twitter

i’m not saying that sirius black is that guy who livetweeted a hospital visit due to having a dildo in his ass i’m just saying that sirius would livetweet that

instagram

sirius black is So into instagram

outfit of the day is His Thing

the selfie likes battle continues on instagram btw

sirius ‘n remus. cute boyfriend selfies. remus looking kinda sheepish but adorable. shhhhhh.

speaking of remus he really likes instagram like it’s sorta how he chronicles the madness of the marauders

remus doesn’t rly do selfies at all though he’s kinda self-conscious, hence the importance of cute boyfriend selfies

but yeah he’s always taking pictures of the rest of them doing whatever the hell they’re doing, and pictures of the sky looking particularly pretty, etc.

peter instagrams his lunch all the time omg. sometimes he posts selfies even though he’s arguably more self-conscious about his looks than remus so the rest of them make sure to like them because they know that it’s actually kinda a big deal when he does that.

one last thing i made a post about a youtube au a while back and it is here

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

marauders + snapchat

remus mostly uses it to respond rather than sending them or putting anything on his story, but his responses are rly great like. he’s funny and he has an expressive face and he’s sardonic n witty and. wonderful.

(sometimes he’ll respond when he’s sleepy and. sleepy snaps. sirius’s favorite. many screenshots followed by protesting.)

feel like i’m playing into a trope here but. peter snaps his meals. he just does he’s that kinda guy.

peter mostly uses snapchat when they’re all together b/c he loves taking pictures w/ his friends even if in the pic they are tousling his hair in a way that makes him look 12

james n sirius [cracks knuckles]

looking at their snapchat stories you would think they were literally always together

(they kinda are)

if james is trying to snap lily sirius steals his phone and draws a mustache or a speech bubble with “IM A NERD” in it and sends it to her

sirius tries to look Cool for his story but james steals his phone and draws dicks or something

mostly it’s just them snapping everybody WAY TOO MUCH and they’ve usually got their arms slung around each other and big dorky grins or they’re doing Cool Guy Poses and looking like. big dorks.

all four of them will totally snap one another when they’re like. on the same couch.

remus has a small goldmine of screenshots labeled “Possible Blackmail” that’s mostly stuff james and sirius have snapped him while drunk

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

when you come out as queer this weird thing happens even among people who are generally supportive and react well. it’s almost subconscious really, but something about the dynamic of your friendship changes. people of your gender (or of the gender they perceive you as) sort of. shrink back. there are fewer hugs and more self-consciousness and more careful distance, and sometimes you wind up feeling like you’re some kind of invader in their space. it’s not fun.

you anticipate this every time. i do, anyway. and to avoid the awkwardness you act around it before it even begins. you initiate the distance, you reduce the physicality so they don’t have to. it’s apologetic: “i’m sorry about all this. i’ll be quiet about it, at least.”

i think sirius would do that, at first, around james. hang back on purpose, touch him less, stop roughhousing and wrestling, stop the hundreds of little habits he’s developed: no more arms slung around shoulders, no more sprawling out on his bed. because sure james reacted fine when he came out but somewhere deep down, he’s still scared that he’ll do something wrong and violate some boy code and james will turn away. so sirius self-polices, makes sure james will never have to do that, makes sure he’ll never do something wrong and lose him.

and of course james notices, because james notices everything about sirius. and he worries that he said or did something wrong, and that eats him up inside because he loves sirius and he knows that, no matter how light he might play it, none of this has been easy for him. but he asks remus because remus has a certain subtler insight into people, and remus guesses and james liked it better when he thought that it was him messing up. because sirius can Always trust james and james can’t stand the idea that sirius doesn’t know that, that he’d think twice.

so james goes out of his way to initiate wrestling matches and to tickle sirius when he’s not expecting it and to fall asleep on the couch with him during the summer; james looks for a thousand different ways to nail it into sirius’s head: “i’m here for you. nothing’s ever going to get rid of me.”

and none of it is ever said. there are no late night Deep Talks or halmark momets. there’s just james, bullheaded and persistent and the most stubborn person alive, and because it’s james, sirius Gets it. and it’s fine. they’re dumb gamboling boys who laugh too loud and love too much, and it’s fine.

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

Rambling conversations during Easter break of 1976, featuring a revelation, a confession, and unplatonic cuddling.

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

"mate does this make me look gay????" "yeah" "excellent" -- sirius black and james potter

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

sirius black is so easy to love when you first meet him when you’re just seeing the joyous bright brilliant boy with his mischief and his pranks and his marauding, he’s all charm and smooth wit and he loves so much and so deeply and once he loves you he will do anything for you, he would without hesitation die for anything and anyone he loves. he loves hard and fierce and he doesn’t know how to stop himself. he thrives on attention and laughter and he’s very good at coaxing both of those things out of people so sirius is very easy to like at first glance.

but the ugly side to sirius is that he hates just as intensely as he loves and there’s nothing beautiful about it. he can be merciless and sharp and needlessly cruel, and he doesn’t always need a good reason. he’s easily bored and not particularly bothered by tormenting people for his own amusement. he thrives on attention. he gets swallowed by darkness and restlessness and he doesn’t know how to hide it, doesn’t know or try to avoid making everyone else feel the same way. he’s reckless, and immature, and he can’t — doesn’t want to — control himself.

sirius can be awful and it takes a while to understand that, the duality of intense affection and intense cruelty within him, but once you do he’s hard to love. it’s hard to love somebody like that. but his great redeeming quality is the flipside to the worst parts of him: as consumed as he can be by hatred, he’s affected equally by love. he’s brave and determined and he will do anything for people he loves.

sirius doesn’t know how to exist in shades of grey so maybe he’s hard to love but ultimately loving him is worth it because as awful as he can be, he can be just as good. and i think, more often than not, he wants to be good.

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

marauders youtube au

sirius and james have a ridiculous amount of subscribers though no one could tell you how that happened, their channel is mostly sophomoric low-brow humor rooted in silly skits and viral challenges (sirius still isn't over the sprite and banana challenge, james's scars from the salt and ice challenge never faded). really they shouldn't have any subscribers at all but ultimately they're downright charming and clever and however silly their escapades may be it's impossible to dislike them. they started doing the youtube thing full-time a couple years ago.

lily started out as a beauty guru and she still does makeup tutorials and reviews from time to time but she's also gotten a lot more into vlogging, especially about politics and social justice. she did a series last year about her experiences as a woman on youtube / in the industry that got a lot of attention and she's quickly becoming close friends with several other women who do similar videos. essentially she's a fiery feminist badass with perfectly winged eyeliner. james may or may not be subscribed and his heart may or may not leap when he gets an email saying she's posted a new video and he may or may not be deeply deeply infatuated with her.

peter has a much less renowned channel where he does DIY projects and cooking videos and things; he only has a couple of thousand subscribers but it's starting to grow and he works very hard at it. james and sirius like his funnier work -- they tweet links to his videos from time to time, and that always garners a spike in attention. they're friends, in a loose sense of the word. peter is sort of in love with them as they're the reason he started his channel in the first place. he's still got a day job, he works as a waiter in a local restaurant which provides him a lot of material for humorous vlogs where he criticizes the rude and the rich.

remus does educational video with a small company working to produce free educational materials for use in low-income schools. he hosts a weekly show about literature that focuses on critical reading of classic works, tying their themes into modern media. he's intensely passionate about what he does. he also has a personal channel with much less attention, but it gives him a place to vent in a more casual way. he's dead funny and his dog snuffles always sneaks into the frame. he talks a lot about life things, does book reviews, and occasionally he'll make some videos about issues or topics relating to the queer community. he gets a lot of creative control over this work but aside from going into the office/studio for shooting he mostly gets to work from home. the flexibility of his schedule works well for him because he's living with chronic fatigue syndrome that's been fluctuating in its intensity for a few years now.

this summer brings a convention for online content producers that's going to unite them all. james may or may not be planning ways to approach lily and peter may or may not have been deliberating whether or not to ask james and sirius for their autographs for months. sirius, meanwhile, finds himself with nothing to do but attend remus's educational video panel... where he may or may not become 100% smitten with the witty-passionate-mischievous-beautiful remus lupin.

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

i have a lot of thoughts about remus lupin + religion but i can’t organize them very well right now. idk remus is the only character i interpret as definitely being religious and y’know you can talk for days about how religion works in the hp verse and how wizards view the relationship between magic and religion and how that’s dealt with and so on, but aside from all of that i do think remus would practice some form of christianity.

and there’s a lot of complicated reasons for it in my head but above all i think that remus would be drawn to the promise of salvation. because remus is so ashamed of so many things about himself and he constantly deals with intense regret and self-loathing and when i read remus sometimes i see someone who can’t find any good in himself. i think that remus would seek salvation y’know that he’d seek the promise of forgiveness for who he is because he strongly believes that what he is is wrong and he wants a way to someday be right.

and i think that the ritual and routine of practicing religion would appeal to remus because ritual is constant and provides this stability that feels incredibly good to have when your life is in turmoil, and remus definitely felt that his life was chaotic.

yeah i just. i feel strongly about remus + faith.

[marilynhansonarchived-blog]

hagrid is in-between in so many ways y’know, he’s half-human half-giant, he’s sort of metaphorically half-wizard after his wand has been snapped, he’s in-between masculinity and femininity (!! will talk abt this in a sec), and like his actual literal position in the school places him between the castle and the forest, acting as a guardian

which is one of hagrid’s key roles in the series, being a guardian — for the school, for its students, for dumbledore, and for harry. for harry hagrid offers this presence that he doesn’t get from anyone else in his life; he isn’t quite a father figure and he isn’t quite a mentor but hagrid is the most loyal, most honest friend you can ever have. like god hagrid IS loyalty and he is stability and he is earth and warmth and kindness, and it is SO IMPORTANT to me that hagrid is the first contact harry has (consciously) with the magical world, after a decade of abuse and neglect his first brush with this new place is hagrid who is literally the most protective most wonderful friend in the world and i just. love hagrid. and god hagrid carrying harry through the forest because he carried him into the magical world and then he’s carrying him out of it and yeah just kill me ok

and!! the other day i was talking to peyton about hagrid + gender and how he’s a great exploration of gender and gender roles. (for the purposes of this conversation just assume traditional ideas of what masculinity & femininity mean.) like he is overwhelmingly masculine in appearance with his size and his great beard and booming voice, but in his actions hagrid is extremely traditionally feminine — hagrid knits and has people over for tea and cries easily and he refers to himself as “mummy” in reference to norbert!! hagrid is very feminine and he’s also very unashamed of it and i just. i just get really emotional about hagrid + gender & also genderfluid hagrid [heart eyes emoji]. also note the fact that hagrid can work with fully-grown unicorns, creatures that normally would only trust a woman.

AND HAGRID + INTELLIGENCE through the whole series people call hagrid dumb because he isn’t academic and because of his speech and appearance but hagrid isn’t dumb, hagrid just has non-academic intelligence which is SO important to me. hagrid works with dangerous animals and has their explicit respect, hagrid is extremely good at /emotional/ intelligence, he always knows when somebody is upset and he knows how to care for them (maternal hagrid!). hagrid’s plenty smart but the kinds of intelligence he possesses require you to rexamine what “smart” means and that’s. wonderful. 

RUBEUS HAGRID

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

remus had two smiles, one tight and controlled and prepared, his dinner-with-parents smile, his yes-professor-i-can-handle-the-homework-yes-i-feel-fine smile, his practiced smile. it's the smile he gives sirius when he says that he forgives him for luring snape into the shack, it's the smile he gives dumbledore at the potters' funeral. it's slight but just present enough to fool most people into thinking it's real.

and then there's the Remus Lupin Smile that reminds sirius of sunshine or starlight or both, he isn't sure, but it's a little crooked and open-mouthed and shows remus's gleaming teeth and makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. it comes with a movement of his shoulders and a shock of sandy hair falling into his eyes and it never fails to warm you up from the inside, like butterbeer in winter.

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

james potter having fun mucking around with his position as head boy, making jokes about it and throwing one point to gryffindor as often as he can manage -- "i like that windsor knot, flannery, one point to gryffindor! sirius congrats on not wearing that ridiculous dog collar today, a point to gryffindor! evans you're looking vivacious as ever, two points to gryffindor!"

but early during his seventh-year term he's doing his patrols (which he takes Very Seriously and never uses as an opportunity to explore the possibilities of hidden tunnels) when he comes across a few fourth-year gryffindor boys snickering in a corner a little too sinisterly, and james knows what those smirks mean because he wears it often enough himself, so he strides up, straightens his tie, and manages his best Head Boy Glare.

the boys gather, they think they're gangly enough to conceal the sniffling kid in the corner from view but they're wrong. he catches a glimpse of silver and emerald peeking from between the fourth-years' cloaks. 

"what the hell's going on, douglas?" he barks at the one student whose name he can recall. "get out of the way, move, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he grabs two of the boys by the shoulder and pushes them back.

"nothing potter, just having a laugh with thompson here, just showing him the ropes y'know --"

the shaking boy in the corner can't be more than a first-year. james feels fire in his veins.

"you're not getting a fucking warning, none of you are -- he's a first-year for god's sake, and so help me god the first one of you who says 'but he's a slytherin' is heading straight to dumbledore's office -- i take that back, you're ALL headed straight to dumbledore -- he's a FUCKING first-year -- REMUS! remus do me a favor and drag these pricks up to the headmaster's office, tell him i'll be there in ten minutes."

the boys' mouths begin to open as remus strides over, brow furrowed.

"and forty points from gryffindor -- not that i'm sure you belong here at this point. for god's sake, pick on someone your own fucking size."

remus leads them away with a silent glance to james, whose shoulders are shaking. he nods slightly, the wordless "i'm okay it's okay" developed unconsciously among friends. james's knuckles are going pale around his wand; he doesn't remember drawing it but it strikes him now that several hexes rested on his tongue. he draws a breath, slips his wand back into his robes, and turns to the small boy. he is frail, swimming in his patched robes -- james assumes they're an older sibling's. a slight black boy, eyes wide, his mouth tight, but he clenches his jaw when james's eyes meet his own.

"you all right?"

thompson nods, wiping at his nose. james rummages through his bag for a tissue, curses himself for being inadequately prepared for emotional disasters, and settles on a crumpled napkin. the boy takes it.

"listen, ignore them, okay? plenty -- er -- you know, yeah, plenty of good wizards have come from slytherin. artemis atherman, with the chudley cannons? slytherin. and -- it doesn't matter, look, you're ten times better than they are just for not preying on people smaller than you. fuck them. prats like aren't getting anywhere but ambition will."

he feels tangled in his own words and stops talking because if he doesn't he may choke on his tongue. thompson remains silent. james lowers his voice.

"i got some of that too, when i first got here. it's horse shit, but i'm looking out for you now, all right? tell me if they give you any more trouble yeah?"

the boy nods. his eyes are drier, james notices, and he stands straight. james remembers being that small and forging his backbone from steel.

"go on, you're gonna miss your class."

[nonbinaryteddy-blog]

[trigger warning for discussion of HIV/AIDS, homelessness, homophobia, murder, and death]

snape's attempts to expose remus as a werewolf throughout PoA are disgusting on their own, but examine them in the context of remus's lycanthropy being an intentional metaphor for HIV infection.

PoA is set in 1993, just after the initial panic that accompanied the emergence of HIV. HIV positivity was still heavily stigmatized (and continues to be today obviously) and people who were known to be positive were still being abandoned by friends and families and having difficulty holding jobs and permanent housing, among other concerns.

snape trying to out remus as a werewolf when his condition is an intentional parallel to HIV infection in the early 90s means that snape would see remus homeless, sick, unable to receive care, and ultimately dead. snape actively attempted to make parents aware of remus's condition. for a HIV-positive queer man, this could result in his murder.

that is what snape's primary motives are in PoA. that is what his decisions represent.

[biharrypotter-deactivated201511]

bi harry because he was clearly enamored by cedric’s looks and repeatedly mentioned just how good looking sirius was and he’s never really looked at a person by their gender anyway