Nonbinary Wiki @nonbinarywiki - Tumblr Blog

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Background for all four slides is the genderfluid pride flag, made of 5 horizontal stripes which are pink, white, purple, black, and blue. Text: October 15-21 of 2023 is Genderfluid Visibility Week! A week to celebrate and uplift folks whose gender changes over time;and a week to educate people about this identity. Feel free to repost/share these graphics wherever you like!

>

> Educational Links about Genderfluidity! bit.ly/gfcarrd - Explains the basics and gives some quotes from genderfluid people bit.ly/gfonwiki - Nonbinary Wiki page on Genderfluid bit.ly/gf101 - Great article for those who want to learn deeper

>

> Things to Remember

> • Not all genderfluid ppl consider

> themselves nonbinary or trans.

> • A genderfluid person's pronouns

> might change or might not.

> • They do not need to dress or act

> in any specific way to be "valid".

> • They may have any orientation.

>

> Thank you for reading!

Credit to Juice For this Wonderful Graphic

I've been thinking about my pronouns, and i'm wondering if he/her pronouns are a thing, as in "He pushed her glasses up to help her see better," with all the pronouns referring to the same person. I'm scared it'll be too confusing, but it feels more right to me. Occupations and title would be masculine.

Hi there! Combining pronouns is very common, including using both he and she pronouns. Many people ask for consistently alternating pronouns, while others use different pronouns in different situations.

I’m not sure whether you mean that you would always use “he” as a subject pronoun and “her” as an object pronoun; using a specific pronoun for each pronoun type is less common, but you are certainly not the first to consider it (it’s an idea I know I've thought of, though not put into practice except private experimenting). People may even find that guidance easier to follow than being asked to alternate pronouns without clear rules.

Some people may have questions; you might get very practiced at anticipating and answering them. In writing, your pronouns can be explained before they’re used, eg., “(name) uses he and her pronouns, he is referred to as he and her throughout.” And in person, if people get confused about using what are seen as different pronoun sets, someone can clarify, “he’s one person, who uses he and her pronouns.”

Even if a certain usage of pronouns is uncommon or never-before-seen, if it feels best to you then that’s extremely important! Those who are invested in respecting you will put in the effort to affirm you by using your pronouns.

For more on pronouns, check out the Nonbinary Wiki page on the subject: https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Pronouns

- Mortal

I know since quite a time that I am nonbinary. The last years I was wearing more androgyn clothing tending towards male coded clothing, but now I have a phase that I am primarely presenting as female, like with long nails, long hair and female clothing. And I realized I have always had phases were I either presented as more male or female. My question is if I can even call myself nonbinary and shouldn't like just call myself genderqueer or genderfluid. I feel like a fake nonbinary and would love to know what others think or if there are even ppl who expeeience similar phases.

Thanks for all the work you put into this page 😊✌️

Hi there! Genderfluid and genderqueer are nonbinary identities! Nonbinary simply means you aren’t always and exclusively a binary gender. If you identify as nonbinary then you are nonbinary, you are not fake and you are not alone.

Also, presentation is different from gender! Your nonbinary identity is completely valid no matter how you present. Fluidity and fluctuation is a valid and common aspect of many people’s nonbinary identity.

Check out some of the pages on our wiki for more info:

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Genderfluid

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nonbinary

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Genderqueer

- Mortal

Hi, um... I was wondering if this is a problem. I'm an afab person who doesn't have a binder. So I wear a bra to bed, I've done this ever since I can remember, even before I started having dysphoria. People say that your not supposed to wear a binder to bed, but they never really say anything about bras. I'm concerned that wearing one to bed every night could cause problems but at the same time... Idk if I would be able to do it since I've worn a bra to bed for so long. Thanks!

Hey there. According to some cursory research, it’s safe to wear a bra to sleep. The reason binders aren’t safe to wear long term is because of the constrictive nature of the garment, but as long as your bra isn’t too tight it should be perfectly fine to wear to bed. Plenty of people are most comfortable with that. If you do experience any kind of breathing problems or pain definitely speak to a doctor, but it really shouldn't be an issue with a regular or sports bra!

- Mortal

Do you have any tips on using "it/its" pronouns for someone who prefers them, when you feel INSANELY guilty using those pronouns?

I'm assuming you feel guilty because of the link between it/its pronouns and objects/"dehumanisation"? I'd suggest reminding yourself that pronouns are subjective to everybody, and you are a person regardless of what pronouns you use (unless the opposite is why you're using them?). You shouldn't feel guilty over using the pronouns someone prefers, as pronouns are meant to make you the most comfortable as yourself. I use it/its myself, as a means of reclaiming the dehumanisation I've received as a disabled, queer person.

- Shay

Just want to add- practice makes perfect, and reminding yourself that the person using “it/its” is a person and those pronouns are affirming for that person! Just as you wouldn't feel guilty for calling someone “she” even though other people who don’t use those pronouns wouldn't like them, be gentle with yourself about using “it” for someone who feels more comfortable with those pronouns. Hope this helps!

- Mortal

hi! so... i've been struggling and trying to figure out if I'm non-binary or not recently. i live in brazil and i can't find much information about being out from male or female, so i decided to go through internet and see if i can find something helpful, and here i am on your blog. i'm afab but i don't *feel* comfortable with being that. does that make sense? could i just feel i'm an enby person? do i need something else to "be valid"? i feel ok with any pronouns but i'm very confused :/

That makes perfect sense! If you feel like you could be nonbinary, it's absolutely worth looking into and experimenting with. You don't need anything to "be valid", if you're identifying honestly. Unfortunately we cannot tell you anything about your identity for sure, as it is very subjective. Feel free to send in more asks as you search more, though!

- Shay

Hello! I just really needed to talk abou my situation and maybe receive some advice if possible. I'm living in another country now, and probably will start in a new school next year. I'm shy and also discovered myself as enby, so I don't really know how it would be to introduce myself in public after so much time — using a name different of the docs and pronouns that people normaly don't expect. I'm not even out to my family and some friends... quite nervous about how to keep my life from here.

I'm unsure of the question here, though honestly however you proceed is up to you. You could come out to your family and do things through that method, introduce yourself at school and then ask your name to be changed on registers/ask teachers and friends to refer to you differently, or stay in the closet. Considering you're starting in a new country where I assume nobody knows you, it will be easier to get people to change how they refer to you as it will be from the get-go. If you do choose to come out, I would suggest not "being easy", as it were, on people adjusting name/pronouns. From experience, they fix it a lot quicker if you correct them every time.

- Shay

For more coming out advice, check out this post: https://nonbinarywiki.tumblr.com/post/613774542231552000/coming-out-advice

Hi! I was wondering if you have any advice for switching to neopronouns? I want to use xe/xem pronouns and am trying to tell my parents this. Some background: I came out to them 3.5 years ago as trans male and they've been very supportive and use he/him for me with no problem. They also already know I'm nonbinary. I'm not sure how to best introduce them to these pronouns in a way that they'll understand their importance to me, and how to not feel guilty about making them switch again. Thanks!

I'd suggest sitting your parents down, explaining what neopronouns are, why you'd like to use xe/xem, and explain how to use them. Give them a few ways to learn how to use them. If you're planning on moving to just using neopronouns, I'd suggest giving them a 'grace period' where they can use he/him or xe/xem, but over time correct them to xe/xem more and more if they're having trouble using them more than xe/xem.

- Shay

Our wiki has information about xe/xem and other pronouns and links to Pronoun Island that you might find useful as shareable resources: https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/English_neutral_pronouns Good luck!

- Mortal

So, I'm looking all over the place to figure out my gender identity and I ran into maybe the most philosophical question: What does it mean to identify as male?

Identifying as male is different for every person. Unfortunately it's not really something someone else can define for you, as gender is a very personal, individual experience. I don't think anybody on the team is a philosopher of any kind, so it's not something we can really help with. For me, my connection to being male (as a nonbinary masc-aligned person) is a result of the comfort that comes with connecting myself to masc-pronouns, terms, and sometimes presentation.

- Shay

Hi! Sorry if you're not supposed to do this, but could you help me try out some pronouns? I'm experimenting with ae/aer/aer/aers/aerself in the singular form with the name Theia, so could you please just write a few sentences referring to me? Thank you! and have a great day

Hi there! I’d be happy to write a few sentences for Theia using aer pronouns. I hope ae is proud of aerself for exploring what pronouns ae feels most comfortable with! I'm grateful for the opportunity to practice using aer pronouns to refer to Theia. I hope ae takes good care of aerself!

- Mortal

nonbinarywiki

On the wiki, when I try to leave a message on a talk page Topic and when I tried to log out (and log back in again to see if it helped with the problem!), I got the error message "Invalid CSRF token." So I haven't been able to leave a comment or log out. Thought you should know!

Thanks for letting us know, I’ve passed this on to our Wiki handlers!

- Mortal

nonbinarywiki

It looks like clearing cookies for the Wiki may help with this issue; hope that helps anyone who's facing this problem!

On the wiki, when I try to leave a message on a talk page Topic and when I tried to log out (and log back in again to see if it helped with the problem!), I got the error message "Invalid CSRF token." So I haven't been able to leave a comment or log out. Thought you should know!

Thanks for letting us know, I've passed this on to our Wiki handlers!

- Mortal

hi! im afab and have been unsure abt my identity since march now. i dont mind being perceived as female or feminine, but do like being seen as masc or androgynous. i dont get dysphoric as often as other trans folks but i do at times and idk what i like more though. im not sure what pronouns id like to use or what label fits me?? im experimenting with pronouns like he/she/they , she/they/he, etc, but i just dont know and would appreciate help :(

i sent an ask a few minutes ago (afab, experimenting with pronouns, likes being perceived as male or androgynous etc) and felt it was important to include i cant experiment with expression out of my friend group/online because i live in a very conservative and religious country where h*te cr*mes against the lgbt are common sadly

Hello! It sounds like you could be nonbinary with more gender euphoria than dysphoria. I'd suggest just experimenting with pronouns and searching through labels if you want one.

As for the physical expression problem, I've found it helps just imagining myself in different outfits, especially with things like picrews or avatar makers to get a sense of my reaction to different types of expression.

- Shay

hi, i hope this isn’t offensive. i was reading up on the transmasc section of the nb wiki today because i’ve made a friend and they’re nb & refer to themselves as transmasc, and we’re into this video game and they hc a lot of characters as transmasc lesbians and etc. i just want a better understanding because i’m confused and i don’t want to offend them. is a transmasc a transgender (ftm or mtf) person who feel a connection to masculinity? or can it be a nb person who feels a connection as well?

Hello! Transmasc (short for transmasculine) can refer to a transgender person (typically AFAB) person who identifies with a masculine gender, feels a connection to masculinity, or is transitioning in a masculine way. A transmasc person can feel a connection to masculinity while still identifying with a fem-aligned gender, and can identify as a transmasculine lesbian.

- Shay

Okay, so. I really, REALLY like the term femboy. I know a lot of people consider it a slur, but I identify with it so fucking much it hurts. The problem is that I’m AFAB. I’m non-binary, and love expressing gender in different ways, but I always skew more feminine. Although when I do dress feminine, those are the days I feel more masculine. Those are the days that I really wish I was AMAB so I could be a femboy. Is it bad to use this word for myself when I’m AFAB?

It is very good that you recognize the toxicity of that time. It seems like it is being reclaimed by the community in some ways, but some people still do consider it offensive. The fact that you recognize that is a very good thing!

In terms of your Gender assigned at both, that totally does not matter in your use of a particular identity or term. You may not fit into the "anatomical" stereotypes of a femboy, but that absolutely does not me you are excluded from using that term!

—Lauren

yo is there anywhere to meet other trans-identified people? I don't know anyone else who is nonbinary either irl or online and I want to make new friends!

Hi there! Locally, you may want to see if there is an LGBT center or any local LGBT groups or clubs available in your area. Online, a good place to start might be Discord - the Nonbinary Wiki has a Discord you can join through this link: https://discord.gg/XpweRRF You can search for trans and LGBT Discords on a site like Disboard. You may also have luck in trans and LGBT Facebook groups, or looking for local Facebook groups where you can look for other trans folks you’d like to befriend. You may also run into trans people in unrelated groups online based on your hobbies and interests. Good luck!

- Mortal

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