☆★☆

｡⊹₊°⋆.*all original writing*.⋆°₊⊹｡

[nonsensethoughtz]

i shouldn't take a nap at 8pm...anyways will you wake me up after i ignore my 162 alarms?

[nonsensethoughtz]

i wish i could go about my day but like horizontally

[nonsensethoughtz]

my gender is whatever makes you gay

[nonsensethoughtz]

yall ever suddenly realize you do not mean as much to someone as they mean to you and it's like you're being sucked into a black hole and picked apart atom by atom until there's nothing recognizable left?

[nonsensethoughtz]

what if i'm destined to be alone forever? not alone as in "i have no friends" or i never share a bed with another, alone as in "i have no one that understands me". plenty of people like me. plenty of people want to be friends or kiss me. but does anyone want to be my "person"? will i ever have a person?

[nonsensethoughtz]

oh to be a pretty boy covered in blood and tears

[nonsensethoughtz]

if i had a nickle for everytime a friend kissed me even though they don't want me, i'd have two nickles. which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twicewHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST KISSED ME WITHOUT ASKING AND ALSO "DONT HAVE FEELINGS" FOR ME AND YOU "AREN’T USING" ME AS A REBOUND?! "i thought it would be funny" girl you KNOW i had a massive crush on you for months WHY did you think it would be funny? like it's fine but ohmygosh what?? do yall just go around kissing your friends on the lips? am i missing something? how did this happen twice from two different people within months of eachother?

[nonsensethoughtz]

me when a man tells me when he put his hand up the back of my shirt and pulled my leg around his waist and held my face close to his that he did it platonically: 🤡

[nonsensethoughtz]

i'm so usable.

people like me because i make them feel wanted and loved.

they like me because i'll take care of them when they are not feeling well.

they like me because i give a lot without taking any.

people only love me so they can use me.

[nonsensethoughtz]

maybe it's my hormonal feminine rage but i'm starting to get pretty tired of making myself small in order for people to like me

[nonsensethoughtz]

i'm so tired of talking about my mental illness. i just want it to go away.

[nonsensethoughtz]

me when i'm a hypocrite because i can't open up to people and ask for help when i'm not doing okay but i tell all my friends they don't have to be scared and can always come to me if they need someone

[nonsensethoughtz]

at this point in my life, there is no one that really understands me. there is no one in my life that is my go-to person right now. i have lots of friends, best friends even, but right now everyone is too busy with life to realize they've drifted away.

[nonsensethoughtz]

i curl into myself, into this dark and quiet hole inside my chest

afraid; embarrassed; ashamed

wanting so deeply to show someone this void so that i might feel less alone

but at the same time dreading the moment i'll slip up and someone will glimpse that darkness hiding inside me

it's always lurking just below the surface

and my sunny demeanor allows no one to bat an eye

[nonsensethoughtz]

i trick myself and everyone else around me into thinking i can be vulnerable but all i really am is open and i've discovered that those are not the same thing

[nonsensethoughtz]

can't have anything i want bc i need to "be responsible" i wanna throw up

[nonsensethoughtz]

sorry i started crying do u still wanna makeout or whatever