words, my sword

Andrew | 23 | KC | ENTP | He/Him | Gay

[captainmortgage]

@norecentemotion @wan-shailu

[decodering]

Redditors design worst volume sliders possible

Some of these are genius! ( see reddit / via )

[decodering]

Well, this post went a bit nuts.

[xxxtictacion]

That last one honestly belongs in hell

[official-lucifers-child]

ALL OF THESE HAVE ME WHEEZING AND CACKLING SO MUCH

[ha-nice-joke]

All found in the comments but not found in master post, you’re welcome :).

[snoopingasusualisee]

IS THIS THE NEW APRIL FOOLS THING

WHY IS IT SHOWING ME FURRY PORN

[snoopingasusualisee]

[pr1nceshawn]

Giveaways that someone is American, as told by non-Americans.

[moosetrees]

Accurate.

[built2bulk-blog]

This is oddly comforting.

[notasupersaiyan-yet]

Idk why I was expecting a list of negative shit

[theultimatepumpkinpie]

We do do these things a lot and it’s so nice to hear them in a positive light because so often I feel like we’re hated on. Never in my life have I had someone from another country call us friendly. They always say we’re loud and obnoxious (not that that’s not true, it often can be). It’s such a relief to hear something else.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

when i was a toddler i thought god was an imperceivable web of white pulsing membranes stretched over itself a million times and i thought he lived inside the wooden pulpit at my church

[fetidmoppet]

[setheverman]

when you’re a romantic pianist but also a gamer

[jaidefinichonv2]

[julebug123]

Why.

[deadfoxforcutie-deactivated2020]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Seth Everman is out of control.

[pencilcomics]

What my week old spaghetti sees when I’m microwaving it at 4 am

[chandlers-scrunchie]

if you ever think your high school is weird, please know that at my high school, there’s a senior who dresses up in a shark costume in their free time and travels around my city on a penny board and just… hangs out on street corners… as a shark…. no one knows their real identity he’s just the shark… it’s really weird

[chandlers-scrunchie]

also the shark-boy-man-thing has friends that join him, but I guess they’re also required to dress up, so occasionally you’ll see a shark, a t-rex, a kangaroo, and another shark walking down the street and waving at cars

[chandlers-scrunchie]

in case you thought I was making this up:

[memesandlaughs]

[writterings]

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

[writterings]

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

[writterings]

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

[writterings]

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

[writterings]

im the only manager that actively tells them to steal food because these are teenagers and they are HUNGRY

[rexrattorum]

You are the only valid manager

[bee-martin]

this is kind of hilarious to me because this made it seem like OP was at least mid to late 20s but they’re 19

[commanderfreddy]

i work in a library

right now its school holidays and a lot of kids get just dumped there by their parents and told to amuse themselves

they get bored very quickly

today they put garfield in jail

i was too afraid to ask what his crimes were 

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

so in 2010 i made a facebook event for my birthday party for this year, because i thought “haha wouldnt that be funny, 2018 is forever away!”. but now it is 2018, and my birthday is in 2 days.

people have been building the hype for the past 8 years

and now im stressed cause i gotta deliver, i had 8 years to make plans and i procrastinated to the last minute. time makes fools of us all

[sandandglass]

[gabe-the-fallen-angel]

What actual friendship is like

[slightmood]

[growexpandexplode]

Lmao ya’ll wild. Enjoy the empty site.

[catchymemes]

[amarretto-cowboy]

I’ll never forget the last in person conversation I had with with a woman I was on and off with for years because whenever there was an issue, she would just stop talking to me for months at a clip.

At one point she straight up blocked me and bragged to mutual friends about it. Friends went to me and told me to move on and that it’s her loss. Her and I didn’t talk for 2 years. In that time, I moved on to the point of getting married. Soon after I got married, she popped in to see if I was single still and lost her shit when she found out I had gotten hitched.

She tried to convince me to get a divorce and called me and idiot for getting married in the first place.

The best part… When she asked why I didn’t wait for her to “come around”. I told her she gave me no choice but to move on when she blocked me.

This was her answer: well a block is only temporary. You should have just waited for it to end then hit me up!

Yeah…. I’m so glad I didn’t.

[samael-d-h]

fuck those people who play these games

[rainbowloliofjustice]

People who play these games should be kneecapped

[mahoganydesk]

My dad nearly fell into this trap. He was engaged to a woman who would go silent for a while after an argument. Dad finally told her, “Either you’re by my side or you’re not. I’m not playing these high school games anymore. If you love me, talk to me. Otherwise, we’re done.”

He ended up marrying another woman who never played games with him and helped his better side come out.

This advise can go for anyone out there: if your SO is doing this shit, tell them to cut it out or you’re leaving. And follow through on that threat.

[slumberinggirl-deactivated20210]

Get you a significant other who has good communication skills and will resolve problems together like a fucking adult

[noelleian-deactivated20190923]

I’m a woman and I used to date a guy who did that kind of petty shit. Yeah, he turned out to be extremely abusive. Don’t date/marry any woman, or man who pulls that kind of shit. It’s not worth it.