got brain rot heheh....
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@northwept
got brain rot heheh....
i forgot everything about asoif and didn't bring the books with me when i moved ... but it's fine apparently i have a 30+ page meta on sansa in my google docs ???
request: sansa holding lady for the first time!
Thinking ab how sansa put a bow on a fucking direwolf she’s so baby
*swishes the dust off this blog*
— @perzyr ♡’d for a starter : senno by awich.
𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐊, when she already knows the answers to these questions ? it’s fruitless & vain, & sansa cannot stop herself as the thoughts take over her mind. she’s never had much control over them, anyways ; they’ve always been planted there, set to root & sprout when their time has come.
& even now. she’d been taught what happened to BAD girls. girls not like her sister who were unruly, but those that caused WARS. when she was younger, sansa had thought how nice it would be to have so many knights fighting a war for her, preaching their love & affection. but she learned. she’d had the answer planted in her mouth before she could even ask —— the lannisters taught her, & the rest of their court, too.
she knows what happens to bad girls. but in the face of FEAR, those words are all she can ask again :
‘ what happened to the girl that was bad once ... ? ’
i woke up this morning thinking about cersei + sansa parallels/similarities and started wondering what it’d be like if sansa subconsciously took on some of cersei’s mannerisms.
— @gcndry ♡’d for a starter : too shy by kajagoogoo.
𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑 sansa has memorized & recited before. in her heart, she knows it isn’t —— the gods don’t listen to her, anyways. but the words fall so easily from her lips that she wonders if it could be a prayer : a little bit of her soul, DIVINE & UNTOUCHED. at times, the words that feel so empty almost trick her. could she, too, believe in them the way she once used to believe that knights & gods could help her ?
perhaps she’s only saying this for herself. arya always told her she was SELFISH. ... then so be it, arya. sansa repeats the words again quietly ... ONCE for him, ONCE for herself —— selfishly.
‘ something is wrong ... you must be strong. you must be strong ... ’
extend these hands of mine : the fingers are not real. i see through them, like ghosts ... like disembodied ghosts, fragments of me. memories of me. bits & pieces of me. are these my hands ? they are so far steeped in shadow, i can’t say anymore.
@mudwoven sent : 'SOUNDS LIKE QUITE AN EVENING.' from missandei.
𝐈𝐅 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍. sansa quickly realizes how CHILDISH she sounds, musing about the things that once gave her joy —— grand feasts in the capitol, with ladies swathed in fine silks & cakes piled as high as they could reach. in reality, those feasts had their dark sides : long, deep shadows cast in the wake of all the splendor.
sansa remembers how her septa had drank so much wine she would not wake to accompany her to her room ( & sansa had to go with THE HOUND instead, under the blankets of darkness that swept across the halls ). & the king, her father’s friend, had been so drunk he nearly started a brawl. her BELOVED JOFFREY had grown upset, then, like he was SHAMED to come from a father such as that. it was understandable, then, too —— sansa never liked the king, either.
she had not known joffrey would be worse, nor that her time spent reveling in the fire’s light with her cup filled to the brim & her tummy full of a good, warm meal would come to an end. HOW HIS REIGN COULD HAVE BEEN GOLDEN, LIKE HIM. sansa had imagined his coronation, & the way that he would sweep into the great hall in his kingly robes, taking her hand & planting a kiss to her cheek as he brought her to sit beside him. IT COULD HAVE BEEN, she thinks, but her heart sinks & her chest seems to open at the memory that IT HAD NOT BEEN GRAND OR GOLDEN. IT HAD BEEN RED. LANNISTER RED.
embarrassment forces her mouth to close, swallowing the words that had poured so easily from her before. sometimes she forgets that she is still a GIRL, as she often has other moments of muddled clarity. a girl would have liked a feast like that, where she could dance & love fiercely & fall asleep content. only ... it seems foolish to admit it. everyone sansa had known had told her so : her dreams, however much she knew they were UNLIKELY, were STUPID. & SHE WAS STUPID TOO, LIKE THEY ALL HAD SAID.
‘ i - i'm sorry ... i have lost myself. things like that don’t happen anymore … ’
BLACK SWAN STARTERS // ACCEPTING.
TOMMEN BARATHEON.
HE KNOWS far much more than he should know, experience darkening his wide eyes with things he should not yet be exposed to. They both are too young to be living the life they live; both trapped in the gilded cage that is the Red Keep, forced to praise and profess love for the boy-shaped beast who delights in their misery.
Small hand is soft and warm as it brushes lightly against hers, a subtle attempt at comfort from one who has been in her place. Though since the northern girl has entered their lives, Joffrey has found more entertainment in tormenting his betrothed than his brother, he is all too familiar with the varying cruelties of which Joff is capable.
❝ If I was the eldest, ❞ ·he offers, voice hushed and sweet in the melancholy that surrounds them, ·❝ I would never hurt you or make you cry. ❞
𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍... sansa thinks it quietly to herself, & keeps her lips shut. but if she were her brothers, perhaps she would not be like this. robb would not let anyone humiliate him, nor would her half-brother jon. both were STRONGER THAN SHE WAS.
but jon was at the wall & robb too far north. sansa had prayed for a hero —— one who might save her in their stead —— but her only hero being TOMMEN BARATHEON, his brother, makes her pity herself more. he is just a boy, & his words are the only kindness he can show me. he is not a hero like in the stories, who would FIGHT for me, she thinks.
sansa wets her lips nervously, feeling her throat grow dry with passing time. ‘ that’s very kind of you … i’m sure ... i'm sure you will treat your future wife kindly, too. & you don’t need to be the eldest for that. ’
𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 — sansa stark.
EYES. you see everything, and understand what must be done in order to forgo suffering, noticing the silence of others and people thought to be insignificant in the grander schemes. nothing can escape your watchful eye. a powerful thing to be indeed, but omniscient does not mean omnipotent. cassandra too saw a bloody future that her people refused to acknowledge, saw the red string of fate that tied her painful future with her inevitable death, but lacked the power to stop the burning fires of troy. you are burdened with a great gift. do not avert your gaze, do not look back, do not close your eyes. see it all, be the witness. even if that’s all you can do.
HEART. a heart in a cynical sense feels nothing, it simply carries through all the blood, all the oxygen, all the components the other parts that do feel need. an ugly organ, misshapen and strange when held in the palm of your hand. yet, it is the centre of your being. It is the core. even when you try to act unaffected, it is your heart that gives you away, skipping a beat, fluttering in excitement, halting dead in terror. you have so much of it to give, you just haven’t learned to discern who is and isn’t worthy of it yet. hold onto it. do not whittle it down, carve names into the flesh that you cannot erase. remain patient, remain astute, and remain loving.
tagged by: @kinginthcsouth
tagging: @coerulus have u done this one yet bb
Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
@cubcrowned // one-liner call ; NIGHT TRAIN TO LISBON ( pascal mercier )
‘ it’s not the pain & the wounds that are the worst. the worst is the humiliation. ’
𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐅 — sansa stark.
THE HOME. whether it’s your warm embrace, your unwavering reliability, your smile that says “welcome back”, your motif is the home. your the equivalent to coming out of the rain to the fire on and your slippers waiting by the door. your uncanny way of making people feel alright, you’re treasured in these trying times. i respectfully request you take care of yourself, the world will never been as kind to you as you are to it. anne lammott said “lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining” and though unconventional, lighthouses are inhabited and your cup runs over with generosity. because you probably don’t hear it enough, thank you.
tagged by: @needlcd & @coerulus :*
tagging: if you haven’t done this yet then i'm tagging you !
@mudwoven sent : 'I CAME TO APOLOGIZE.' from ned stark. : /
𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃, hot with a CHILD’S TEMPER. when he had told her he would marry her off to some other man —— one without manners or courtesy, who smelled poor, & had ugly brown hair —— sansa had wanted to rage against him. she wanted to run away, bar her doors, & tell him that she would not leave unless he allowed her to marry joffrey. DID HER OWN FATHER NOT WANT HER TO BE QUEEN ?
she could give him beautiful grandchildren with golden blond hair who would some day be princes & princesses of their own ! it seemed entirely unfair, & though at first sansa had thought she HATED her father for it, she knew it was probably because he simply didn’t see things the same as her. obviously, he couldn’t, if he didn’t want this for her. it was no fault of her own ... but instead one that rested with him, & his inability to understand how chivalrous, brave, & kind joffrey truly was.
despite his behavior earlier, sansa knew her father was a smart man. he would do what was right, as he always told his children he would do, & as his men always said he did. with his apology, sansa expects something MORE —— an affirmation that her love is not unfounded, & that she & the prince can be together. he WILL, she knows. it is only reasonable. she does not show any semblance of emotion, though. a lady holds her head high & doesn’t BEG for these things ; it is UNSEEMLY. still, her heart yearns, & her voice does not betray those hopes : ‘ so i am still to marry him ? you’ve changed your mind, you mean ? ’
BLACK SWAN STARTERS // ACCEPTING.
something i think is really interesting about sansa’s povs is how “active” her brain is, despite how little she says sometimes. from the beginning of the books her narrative is filled with overeagerness & language like “it’ll be splendid / wonderful / glorious / fantastic / etc.” & it seems like she’s so overwhelmed with splendor that her mind keeps processing it & commenting on it.
we later see her filled with what she thinks is rage, saying thinks like “i hope this will happen, i hope that will happen,” in a kind of repetitive manner ( “i hope he [janos slynt] falls and shames himself, she thought bitterly. i hope ser balon kills him.” ). this sometimes mimics her descent into confusion, such as after joffrey’s death when the bells are ringing & she keeps repeating her thoughts as if they were tolling with the bells ( “the bells were ringing, slow and mournful. ringing, ringing, ringing. they had rung for king robert the same way. joffrey was dead, he was dead, he was dead, dead, dead. why was she crying, when she wanted to dance? were they tears of joy?” ).
her povs present us with a LOT of this rhythmic language that is meant to signify her “raw thoughts.” she’s a very emotional person & her language mimics that -- when she is stressed, she repeats herself, highlighting her mental state at the time.
but she also does this when she thinks elinor is being naive ( “they are children, sansa thought. they are silly little girls, even elinor. they’ve never seen a battle, they’ve never seen a man die, they know nothing. their dreams were full of songs and stories, the way hers were before joffrey cut her father’s head off. sansa pitied them. sansa envied them.” ) & to reaffirm her strength ( “be brave, she told herself. be brave, like a lady in a song.” ), so this linguistic repetition isn’t necessarily tied to her mental state. it might just be how her brain works. sansa has a very active mind, since it seems to be the one thing she has control over even as a political prisoner, & she uses it quite actively. while the more obvious incidents of repetitive thought occur when she is emotionally distressed, i think that sansa has a natural intelligence that keeps her mind turning frequently.
arguably, some of her thoughts don’t seem very “intelligent,” especially when she talks about how pretty & splendid things are in king’s landing, but the fact that her mind doesn’t shut down or alter the way she processes thoughts after ned’s death is a testament to her mental resiliency. what she learns throughout the series is how to better use her mind, to question things, & to analyze people like littlefinger ( “he saved alayne, his daughter, a voice within her whispered. but she was sansa too… and sometimes it seemed to her that the lord protector was two people as well. he was petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle… but he was also littlefinger, the lord she’d known at king’s landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in queen cersei’s ear. and littlefinger was no friend of hers.” ). her thoughts still seem repetitive & choppy, but it’s because her mind is working hard to process them, like she’s used to.
anyways i will mention this in my emotional / mental state meta when i finally finish it but i've always thought her repetition was interesting linguistically.
@lvanna sent : ¡!
1. any au where lyanna survives and becomes a close advisor to sansa. i don’t think sansa is a feasible king of the north, but even if she were to serve as the lady of the winterfell she’d need a friend to help her catch up with everything that’s been happening among the lords ( who died, who supported the boltons, who are the new lords of their holds if their fathers died supporting robb, who needs building / food support ? ). it doesn’t even have to be built on an existing friendship, because let’s be honest, lyanna is so hardcore she’d probably think sansa is jell-o. instead it could come from a place of “oh shit this girl is really messing up with running winterfell ... guess i gotta help,” maybe ?
2. modern au ! my mind is telling me SUMMER CAMP, where lyanna excels at all the special activities & sansa is just upset that she lost her friendship bracelet in the mess hall. maybe on a hike they get separated from the group & have to BRAVE IT ALONE for a few days ? ( cue also a bear lumbers past them minding its own business and lyanna is like :D and sansa is terrified but tries to rationalize that ‘ it’s like the bear from the bear and the maiden fair ! ’ ). hah. anyways, a summer camp au would be fun & a good place to bond, especially in a cute modern verse.
3. a north of the wall plot would be really interesting. maybe there’s some need to broker peace after sansa returns home ? maybe they start a girl gang with val ? maybe tormund is throwing an absolute RAGER NAMEDAY BASH ? ( jk ). it could also be a bran storyline swap where sansa has to go north of the wall with lyanna to understand her warging abilities ( since she doesn’t really express them like the other stark kids do, but grrm has said all of the starks have the ability to some degree ) ? i'm not sure.
PLOT IDEAS // ACCEPTING.