No Such Thing As A Beautiful Goodbye

Kay; She/Her; Early 30s Western USA (Pacific Time Zone) 🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠 INFJ; 1w9; Hufflepuff Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon, Libra Rising 🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠 Blog Policies If you are <18, please do not interact with me directly. I am not responsible for verifying your age or monitoring your content consumption. I believe in fostering personal growth (our own and others) and taking responsibility for our own actions & choices. I also believe that public “call outs” - when they occur between individuals on social media - are (at best) performative activism and/or (at worst) bullying, and that they are actually counterproductive to these goals. So if you feel the need to call me out on something - send me a (non-abusive) DM. I do not publicly share the contents of private conversations via DM and I firmly request that those I interact with show me the same respect. I reserve the right to keep my blog(s) and original content free of harassment, public shaming, verbal abuse and all other forms of bullying - whether directed at me or another individual - to the fullest extent that I can. Asks are not and will not be enabled. Abusive DMs will be reported and the sender blocked. 🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠 I’m in the process of organizing this blog into several fandom/topic-specific side blogs. It’s a slow, sporadic, somewhat messy process that I’m figuring out as I go. So thanks in advance for your understanding & patience! 🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠🧜🏻‍♀️🐬🪸🐠

[justagirlfangirling]

you ever read a fanfic and just sit back and think…someone wrote something THIS good… and then just….published it on the internet….for free…..

[thorst]

I love you, fanfic authors

[ssamorganhotchner]

every single time

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

❤️🙏❤️

[starpeace]

i love when tragedies are like “the love was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there”

[simplynotcapable-deactivated202]

the moral of the story

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Thank you for finding the perfect words to describe why I will adore RebelCaptain until the day I die 🙏 🙌 🥹

[sexnoise]

Reblog if you honestly have NEVER sent anon hate.

[mamahartbigg]

It pains me that only 14,000 people can honestly reblog this

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Rule of thumb I go by:

Anon is 👍 if you’re embarrassed, shy, or trying to respect (shield) someone else’s privacy.

Anon is 👎 if you’re angry, jealous, or upset.

Simple as that.

If you’re not willing to sign your name to something; it’s worth taking a minute to stop and ask yourself “why?”.

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Notice - Blog Undergoing Construction & Organization (Effective 12/20/22)

Currently starting the process of giving my Tumblr a total makeover for the first time in years. My apologies if things get a bit messier or confusing before they get better. Thanks for your understanding & patience. 

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Update (June 10, 2023):

Lol. About that… 😬🤦‍♀️😂

This project is still in the works but I’m definitely stalled out on it for the moment - in large part because of the ADHD medication shortage here in the U.S. (aka that silent public health crisis no one outside of the ADHD community is talking about?!?!)

Yeah, it might be getting better, but we don’t seem to be out of the woods quite yet.

I’m having to save most/all my “self-organizational” brain power for non-optional things.

However - please hit me up if you have any advice on organizing old posts & reblogs dating years back onto new, fandom-specific side blogs 😊🙏

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

“… plagiarism may be more about social inequity than individual deceit.”

I recognize it’s a sensitive issue for many writers & content creators. If possible - try closing your eyes, taking five deep breaths, and reading this essay with an open mind (and an open heart). You might just be glad you did. 😉🤗❤️

Why plagiarism is not necessarily deceitful or deserving of censure (essay)

While most believe the contrary, some people understand that plagiarism is not necessarily deceitful or deserving censure, writes Jennifer A

Disclaimer: Not Mine! 😊

“Hey Kay, Who and What’s Your Source?”:

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Fair Warning:

Starting now, I’m blocking “blank blogs” that have/will follow me.

“Blank blogs” are Tumblr blogs where the (supposed) user has nothing on their page.

Even more 😬 are the ones with a profile pic (better suited to Tinder/etc.) & a possibly semi-sketchy bio typically along the lines of “🍆 19 🖤 ♒️ Texas”.

If your blog looks like this and you are lurking to the extent where you follow my blog without even liking any of the original or reblogged content - it comes off as creepy and, personally, makes me pretty uncomfortable.

I don’t a give a sh*t whether it’s a “Like” or a “Reblog” when it comes to my original content. You do you. I’m not trying to kill your vibe.

You’ve got your choices and I’ve got mine.

And as an admittedly more reserved, cautious, & cynical internet user - I do give a sh*t about not being solicited by people who may or may not be minors and/or being human-trafficked.

(Because, yes - as paranoid as it may sound - I hope that a blank blog is a bot because that’s the other possibility that comes to mind)

If you’re a real person (not a bot) and new here - this ain’t Twitter or TikTok. (Or Tinder, either). #sorrynotsorry

You’re not stealing when you reblog and you’re not stalking when you like posts - even old ones.

Tumblr’s unusual as a social media site in that, here, the focus is on the content - not the people. The people are amazing and awesome and so super talented. Here it’s all about the topic or issue or the fandom. Not ourselves. 💕

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Notice - Blog Undergoing Construction & Organization (Effective 12/20/22)

Currently starting the process of giving my Tumblr a total makeover for the first time in years. My apologies if things get a bit messier or confusing before they get better. Thanks for your understanding & patience. 

[teen-spirited-away]

House Mormont

"Here We Stand"

Sigil: Bear

Colors: Green and Black

Seat: Mormont Keep, Bear Island

"We Are Not a Large House, But We Are a Proud One"

The Mormont bears are fierce, loyal, resilient, protective, aloof, brave, humble, and strong-willed.

House Mormont values loyalty, survival, and the protection of their own.

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

- J.R.R. Tolkien

[teen-spirited-away]

House Martell

"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"

Sigil: Sun and Spear

Colors: Gold and Orange

Seat: Sunspear

"Girl or Boy, We Fight Our Battles; But the Gods Let Us Choose Our Weapons"

House Martell differs from the rest of the seven kingdoms. They are progressive, passionate, short-sighted, equal, defiant, vengeful, and proud.

House Martell values individuality, equality, and resistance.

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

A cactus doesn't live in the desert because it likes the desert; it lives there because the desert hasn't killed it yet.

- Hope Jahren

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

As a (self-assessed) 1w9, I feel like one of the simplest yet most significant differences between 2s and 9s (and therefore 1w2 and 1w9) in Enneagram is this:

2s want to be not just wanted but needed.

9s want to just be.

[teen-spirited-away]

House Velaryon

"The Old, The True, The Brave"

Sigil: Seahorse

Colors: Aquamarine and Silver

Seat: Driftmark

"History Does Not Remember Blood. It Remembers Names"

House Velaryon is one of the few ancient houses that survived the doom of Valarya. They are proud, mystical, brave, adventurous, commanding, and skilled at sea.

House Velaryon values pride, history, and position masters of ships.

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

GRRM named the Dance of the Dragons era House Tully characters after The Muppets / Sesame Street characters

Grover, Oscar, Elmo, & Kermit

🤣🤣🤣

If fanfic writers are needing some Tully character names, here’s a(n incomplete) list of some others that fit the “theme”:

Alice

Alistair

Bennett

Bert

Betty

Bruno

Camilla

Clementine

Clifford

Ernie

Gladys

Gulliver

Herbert

Humphrey

Ingrid

Julia

Leo

Marvin

Murray

Natasha

Robin

Sherry

Walter

Zoe

[cfiesler]

Elon Musk did not create an AI trained on your fanfiction.

Hi, AI ethicist + fanfiction expert here. (This is one of those times where I feel uniquely qualified to comment on something…)

I’m seeing this weird game of telephone about the Sudowrite AI that I think started out pretty accurate, but now has become “Elon Musk created an AI that is stealing your fanfiction” (which frankly gives him far too much credit). I can probably say more about this, but here are a few things that I want to clarify for folks, which can be boiled down to “Elon Musk has nothing to do with this” and “this is nothing new”: Elon Musk is not involved in any way with Sudowrite, as far as I can tell. Sudowrite does, however, use GPT-3, the widely-used large language model created by OpenAI, which Elon Musk co-founded. He resigned in 2018, citing a conflict of interest due to Tesla’s AI development. It wasn’t until after he left that OpenAI went from being a non-profit to a capped for-profit. Elon Musk doesn’t have anything to do with OpenAI currently (and in fact just cut off their access to Twitter data), though I can’t find anything that confirms whether or not he might have shares in the company. I would also be shocked if Elon actually contributed anything but money to the development of GPT-3.

Based on Sudowrite’s description on their FAQ, they are not collecting any training data themselves - they’re just using GPT-3 paired with their own proprietary narrative model.  And GPT-3 is trained on datasets like common crawl and webtext, which can simplistically be described as “scraping the whole internet.” Same as their DALL-E art generator. So it’s not surprising that AO3 would be in that dataset, along with everything else (e.g., Tumblr posts, blogs, news articles, all the words people write online) that doesn’t use technical means to prohibit scraping. 

OpenAI does make money now, including from companies like Sudowrite paying for access to GPT-3. And Sudowrite itself is a paid service. So yes, someone is profiting from its use (though OpenAI is capped at no more than 100% return on investment) and I think that the conversations about art (whether visual or text) being used to train these models without consent of the artist are important conversations to be having.

I think it’s possible that what OpenAI is doing is legal (i.e., not copyright infringement) for some of the same reasons that fanfiction is legal (or perhaps more accurately, for reasons that many for-profit remixes are found to be fair use), but I think whether it’s ETHICAL is a completely different question, and I’ve seen a huge amount of disagreement on this.

But the last thing I will say is that this is nothing new. GPT-3 has been around for years and it’s not even the first OpenAI product to have used content scraped from the web.

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

Viserys I - Mini Character Study

I just had a random thought as to whether Viserys’ preoccupation with dragon dreams & his dream of an Aegon crowned was partly due to or resulting from the same insecurity demonstrated by Aemond and Rhaena as “dragon-less Targaryens”?

I mean, presumably the dream was when he was a boy (literally, not figuratively) and so it was before he “claimed” Balerion and “proven himself” to be a “true” Targaryen (this family is all sorts of f***ed up).

I don’t know why but I have this headcanon that - like Aemond - Daemon would not have waited long to “claim” Caraxes after Aemon’s death in 92 AC.

And that + sibling rivalry was what provided the push/pressured Viserys into “claiming” Balerion before Balerion’s death in 94 AC. No way was Viserys okay with his little brother having a dragon when he didn’t.

And after Balerion died, well… Viserys found a way to self-validate by reframing the importance of dragons in relation to dragon dreams & pushing the view that dreams were more central & significant to the Targaryen rule of Westeros than dragons. (And thus, he as a self-professed “dreamer” is worthy of the crown & Targaryen name)

[I encourage someone else, who is much more articulate, to breakdown the layers of crazy symbolism found in Balerion dying less than a year after Viserys “claimed” him. 🙏🙌]

[teen-spirited-away]

House Stark

"Winter is Coming"

Sigil: Wolf

Colors: Grey and White

Seat: Winterfell

"The North Remembers"

A typical Stark can be seen as cold, loyal, resilient, just, defensive, grim, and honorable.

House Stark values duty, honor, and survival above all.

[nosuchthingasabeautifulgoodbye]

The wolves knew when it was time to stop looking for what they'd lost, to focus instead on what was yet to come.

― Jodi Picoult

[baejax-the-great]

One reason I think it’s important that tumblr understands that AO3 emails spark dopamine and not serotonin other than the fact that I’m a neuroscientist who is very tired is because dopamine is part of the reward system.

I honestly think that emails from AO3 affect the reward system very similarly to gambling. When you get a sudden, random reward (AKA a comment on your fic), it feels great, and you want that again. But as the gambler writer, you have very little control over when the rewards come in or how many. There are games fandoms where you might have a higher chance of getting a response, or tropes, pairings, etc, but in the end, the reward is up to fickle fate (or possibly fantastic marketing on your part if you know how).

Randomly received rewards are incredibly addicting.

Similarly, not receiving a reward when you think you should get one feels very, very bad.

People who are more satisfied in their lives are less susceptible to the highs and lows of gambling and other addictive behaviors. If you are finding your relationship with you AO3 stats page or AO3 emails is unhealthy, it might be worth it to 1. turn off email notifications (so the randomness of the reward is removed) 2. Pick a time each week to check for comments (now it’s on a schedule) and 3. See if there are ways to improve your life elsewhere so that your mental health does not fluctuate with the whims of strangers sending you comments.

It’s not a moral failing to like attention. I have no judgment for people who get into a negative cycle with these things. This is for your mental health. Writing can be so rewarding for so many reasons, and I really just want to see other people find the joy in it.

[baejax-the-great]

This post has been going around again, and the question you should ask yourself is not, “am I addicted to emails/comments/AO3?” But “does posting fic put me in a bad mood? Do I get anxious waiting for emails? Is my relationship with AO3 causing me mental pain?”

The problem isn’t whether you are “addicted,” the problem is whether you are experiencing painful emotions in response to a hobby that should be fun. That’s what needs evaluation.

[is-it-mungojerry-or-rumpelteazer]

You don’t appreciate just how good Ao3′s search system is until you try to find something on any other Internet archive.

Don’t take Ao3 for granted, people. It’s so good.