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my mum got married when I was 11 & divorced when I was 15 and sometimes I'll refer to "when we had my stepdad" like he was a dog we had to rehome, or perhaps a kitchen appliance we got rid of because it was malfunctioning

#ask to tag #also i owe so many people replies atm but my brain is angry soup #im not ignoring anyone on purpose im just unwell lmao #partly bc of the aforementioned malfunctioning appliance lmao #processing a lot rn

an unfun fact about me is that as a small child I prided (prode? prude?) myself on my ability to cry on the spot cause I thought it made me a good actor. my secret? I was literally always about three thoughts away from bursting into tears anyway. diagnosis: yikes

#ask to tag

whenever I put someone (fbm) in Archive Jail I keep thinking abt that scene in lilo & stitch where she's shaking her jar of voodoo dolls and says "my friends need to be punished"

#ask to tag #fbm #my mum always said my baby sister and i were like lilo & stitch #i was mostly lilo #i saw myself as nani sometimes and like not no #dont ask me abt being more than 50% orphan it's a long side q #side quest #let me misspell my tipsy tags in peace

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honestly i think you should have at least one person in your life who is similar to you but more evil, to keep you in check. mine is p's brother, I know i am one wrong move from becoming him (only more posh, which means I could do more damage, i think)

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the mario/wario theory of interpersonal relationships

honestly i think you should have at least one person in your life who is similar to you but more evil, to keep you in check. mine is p's brother, I know i am one wrong move from becoming him (only more posh, which means I could do more damage, i think)

#ask to tag #unsolicited life advice

so there are four people plus me who live in my brain (it's not classical DID or psychosis, it's complicated lmao) and that has its drawbacks but it does lend itself to some great data collection like 3 out of 5 of us are fucking furious rn 🤔 of the remaining two, one is on the fence abt being fucking furious and the other is kinda focused on other things, ie nonresponsive to survey questions 🤔

#ask to tag #if yall are curious I'll tell you their names n how they came to live in my brain #im pretty at peace w their presence in my brain ngl

fbm is not currently this second showering me with attention but instead of succumbing to my spiciest BPD urges I had a smoke and two orgasms and now I feel a little more sane about it. basically I've mastered mental health i think

#ask to tag #fbm #when i see him online i understand that doesnt obligate him to message me #and that the fact he isnt dropping everything to message me is in fact healthy #but some part of my brain will only be soothed by that tweet #the one that's like hes not ignoring you he's watching someone start a lawnmower at the bottom of the ocean #christ i hope he never finds this blog

some real sitcom shit happening in my life at the momsnt gang. too complicated to explain but send prayers and a laugh track

#ask to tag #met fbms kid by accident #havent recovered enough to explain why thats weird

i didn't fancy rob brydon til i saw him torture people about geography on destination x. I also didnt fancy John Ross Bowie til I saw him play the dad in speechless and I didnt fancy mark ruffalo til he did that rant at the golden globes. What's that about. Is that demisexual-adjacent or is there something actually wrong with me lmao

#ask to tag #interestingly this only happens with men #with other genders im usually all 😍 right out the gate #and i am sometimes attracted to men before they impress me #idk

Genuine question for people with scat kinks: does the IBS make me more or less attractive?

#ask to tag #nsfw text #scat #scat kink #kink #coprophilia

an experience i had recently:

Fiancé: We can't be the only people doing queer analysis of Disney's Zombies franchise

Me: Ooh, I'll look it up on Tumblr

[moments later]

Me: Dear lord, the children are thirsting over the zombies

#absolutely normative typical shit btw don't worry if this is you #but god does my 28yo ass wish there were safe teen-only spaces online #so y'all can do that in a place away from adults #specifically me #ask to tag #Zombies

one of my toxic traits is thinking I could fix marjorie tsylor greene

explained Archive Jail to my mum who was endlessly baffled by it lmao her trauma is built so different from mine, she leans more avoidant where I'm disorganised attachment on legs so the idea of both wanting and fearing intimacy is a bit foreign to her

#ask to tag #archive jail #things i wont tweet so my mum doesnt see them

I'm very funny in emergencies which is a weird trait to have at the best of times but I have to work hard to rein it the fuck in when my mum needs her inhaler I'm like do not make her laugh do not do it. your punchline can wait until her airways are working. why am I like this

#ask to tag #asthma

"traumadumping" is such a difficult concept to grapple with when other ppl are talking about their childhoods/pasts and literally the only thing you can contribute is a trauma. even worse when you don't register that what youre recounting would be considered traumatic because your life has been so filled with horrors. Not sure what the solution is here but perhaps it is giving me personally $200

#ask to tag #no beblogs

never want to admit to being a d*n and ph*l stan on main but one of my two v queer fiancées and I stayed up a bit late to watch the announcement and for once I am feeling like nothing can hurt my scared, queer af inner child

#ask to tag #no beblogs

there's this really niche bullying thats only possible with neurodivergent people like every time I drop a fun fact about one particular subject all my loved ones are like 😏😏😏 bc they know it's FBM's special interest. and I think that's beautiful

#ask to tag #no beblogs #to be clear theyre not bullying him #theyre just bullying me for fancying him #and getting flustered af about it #like most things in my life its about me lmao

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